Brad Makes Pickled Peppers

Peter Piper...

Peter Piper picked a pepper.

Is there more to it?

[Kevin] Peter Piper picked a Peck of pickled peppers.

Jesus Christ, what kind of sick [beep] knows that?

Peter Piper picked a Peck.

I can't read [laughing].

Today on It's Alive

we're going to be making pickled chilies, hot peppers,

a little condiment you can put it on top of sandwiches,

whatever you want.

You know, they're good to have.

I keep them in the fridge.

Let's just get to it.

[upbeat music]

All right, first things first,

if you want put some gloves on,

just be very careful when you're dealing with chilies,

you get this stuff on your hand.

You know, I feel like I've said this a thousand times,

but one more time, if it helps one person it's working.

All right, first things first.

I'm going to remove, I use this.

Okay, why would you throw that in the garbage?

But I get rid of this stems

and then we'll just going to cut this bad boy right in half.

This is that, frankly,

that was nice, that fresh poblano, okay.

Bang the seeds in there.

And then this, you can, you know, do whatever you want,

but we're going to compost it.

Oh, what is this?

Oh, what kind of bird is that?

Dodo bird?

Nope, Brad, no.

I ain't got time for this.

Hold on, we got a recipe to do.

Distracting me, hunzy.

I don't like it, he's got a bad attitude.

He's got his face down all day.

Look at me, he can't be cold.

We'll see if he picks his head up.

All right, buddy.

I don't need someone walking around like this all day.

Looking at looking at the ground.

If you want to talk about something I'm here, but come on.

Come on, we all got problems, you know?

I'm here for you.

Don't, now you got me talking to a freaking bird now.

Made of wood nonetheless.

It ain't even a real one.

[Brad sighs]

So for the Serrano peppers, I cut them in half

'cause they, you see how they got that connector

goes up there way far real hard to get to on these.

The Serrano's they go all the way up.

So I cut them in half and then

I'll slice them into the little half moon, little rings,

little half moon slices, but to get the peppers out,

I half them.

And then from there it's just a little, you know,

the anatomy in this pepper is a little different.

Safety first, man.

You know, it's all fun and games

till you get a freaking Fresno chili, pepper seed

right in your eyeball.

It reminds me of growing up, you know?

The kids, like growing up younger, you know,

like most people didn't wear like helmets

when they went skiing or snowboarding,

which like looking back on is [beep] crazy.

You know, people go fast,

flying down these icy hills, you know,

you don't have a helmet on?

I forgot where I was going with this, helmets,

safety goggles, safety first!

Right onto the habaneros.

And this is more like the Fresno.

We could just do a little.

Now here, you gotta be careful,

these bad boys, they'll get ya.

This is like death juice.

Ready?

[Kevin] That is a Kiwi bird.

What?

[Kevin] Kiwi.

Oh!

Oh, that one.

Are they always sad?

[gentle music]

All right for our next trick here, Kev,

we got our peppers de-seeded, ready to go.

And now we're just gonna slice them.

I like to do like eighth inch little slices. Okay.

But again, dealer's choice.

One pound mixed chilies.

And then I got two cloves of garlic.

Then I'm just going to cut it into little, little slices.

All right. Ready then.

All right. Let me clean up real quick.

Before we have an accident, okay Kev?

Oh, what the heck?

This thing's fake.

Who's got the fake plant in the sink?

What, are you watering it?

Just make it feel like home.

Let's get them a plastic fern.

Between two fake ferns.

I wonder if the gave Zach Gala, Galafan,

I can't even say his frigging name.

I love that guy.

Zach Galvigga [laughing],

Zach Galfinaphuficus.

Zach Galva, I can't say it.

Hold on, give me a second.

I'll put this back.

We'll try it again.

Come on Brad, come on Brad.

You can't do this, not on TV.

Not live.

Like that actor Zach Galiphfoon, ah

[beep] [gentle music]

Zach, um...

I seen him one time.

Okay, so what we're going to do, we've got our Mason jar.

All right. And I got a little sauce pan.

How am I going to make a video?

I can't even, I, everything is a story.

Everything is a problem.

Look at this.

Kevin, you got to get in here close to this one.

All right, so I went over to reach for a sauce pan.

Cause you know, it's a kitchen, right?

You need a sauce pan you.

[gentle tapping]

If you were to leave this on the heat for 10 seconds

without something in it, I think it would burn,

It would catch on fire.

It would burn right through.

This is like something you get for 25 cents

at like the bodega.

Like actually you never buy it.

No one ever buys these.

I don't know how it even got here.

Well, nothing but the best for us, Kev.

So what we're going to do is I got a cup of water here.

Okay.

Just regular old, New York City tap water.

So one cup of water.

And then I'm gonna add two cups

of rice wine vinegar.

Oh, for god's sakes.

We're going to go ahead and remove this little flow

restrictor regulator.

All right.

That's an industry term.

Or one bottle.

We're going to add that in there.

And I'm just going to give this a little quick heat,

hopefully.

And I just want to dissolve,

when I developed this,

I used regular sugar cause I didn't have maple syrup,

so I wanted to dissolve it.

But if you're using maple, you don't need the heat this.

I like to give it a, not a real high heat,

like a boil because it's just not necessary.

But I like to just kind of steep everything. Right?

Kind of really draw things out.

Kind of bloom the, oh for Christ sakes.

Zach Galiphanapha, ah [beep].

I know how, I know what it is.

[Kevin] Go slow.

No, little bit of that.

Two tablespoons.

Grade A or B or C if you're really into those

highly flavored maple products.

And we're just gonna do a little two finger pinch

of some pink peppercorn, okay?

And then a little bit of dried oregano.

And I'm just going to bring this up to a little heat.

Just a little bit, just to get it warm. Okay.

Kev, keep an eye on that.

I gotta blow my nose.

You want to get that warm? Okay.

We're talking like 115 degrees, 120 degrees, just warm.

And then I'm going to pour it over the peppers or no.

Now we're going to pack as much as we can into the jar.

If you're a glove person,

you go ahead and put some gloves on right here.

And when you're done,

just throw them in the garbage can

and we'll bury them in the ground.

[spooky music]

All right, we got them all in.

We're shooting from LaGuardia.

No, it's the hood.

You know, it sensed my cheap pan

was about to catch on fire

and it activated the ANSUL system in the hood.

So, no, I don't know, you can't turn these things off.

So I'm going to do this over a bowl

'cause I can make a little bit of a mess sometimes.

What I'm going to do first is look,

it's just a small, little, little,

little plug of Sherry vinegar and then to our mixture,

which is oregano, pink peppercorn,

one bottle of rice, and a little bit of water

and some maple syrup.

Oh it's like Christmas in the jar, bud.

Spicy Christmas in a jar.

Yeah!

I didn't spill a drop.

What I like to do, we're going to let this cool,

but I'm gonna put the lid on.

Give her a little churnsy.

Okay.

Yep.

And then from there I just store it in the fridge.

Here's the way to go with these bad boys.

So we're going to do that to the fridge.

Then we'll come back.

And we'll make a little sandwich, we'll have a little lunch.

I'll make you sandwich, Kev.

Oh, that's how it's supposed to go.

Oh.

Yeah. He still is kind of, kind of down though, right?

Like the donkey or the mule

from Winnie the Pooh, Igor?

Was it Igor?

[Kevin] So close.

What is it?

[Kevin] Zach Galifianakis.

Zach Galiphanafinaphicus.

Say it again!

[Kevin] Zach Galifianakis.

Zack Galvinaphicus.

Zach Galifanikus.

I'm gonna change my shirt.

I'm getting a little warm.

We're gonna let the jet land too, okay?

Let's clean up, bud.

[gentle music]

All right so our pickled peppers

have been sitting in the fridge cooling off for about,

I'd say about two, three hours.

I also have another jar that I brought in

that I made about, I'd say about four or five days ago.

We're going to try both check out the differences.

You know, it's the same recipe, obviously, same peppers.

And we'll see where we're at.

This is the one we that we made together.

It's been, you know, it's chilled now.

It's been in the fridge, like I said, about two hours.

And this is one, the same recipe.

And that's about, I'd say five days old in the fridge.

Yeah. I mean, it certainly looks not as bright as this one.

Right? Not as fresh to.

A little more pickled, shall I say?

Ooh yeah.

I always like the smell,

like my pickles right before I taste.

The nose is a good sense of when things go a little weird.

You taste with your nose and if there's a little off-ness,

old nose is going to pick it up.

All right, Kevin, we're gonna make you a little sandwich.

Okay?

I got a little piece of baguette,

I warmed it up just a little bit crunchy,

but still soft on the inside.

Just how you like it.

I got my bread.

We're gonna put a little bit of olive oil on it.

Some folks put mayonnaise,

some folks put both, whatever you're into.

I don't have any mayonnaise, but I would put a schmear,

but we'll put a little, a little, put a little bit of olive.

Some people don't cut their sandwich all the way through.

We don't need to get into it.

I got some ham and some salami here.

This is what we're going to do, shredded baby.

Little bit of lettuce on here.

And then they'll go put some pickled mama jammers on here.

All right, Kev.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, let's not forget.

Little dried oregano.

I feel like every time when go somewhere,

a deli, can you put a little extra dried oregano on there?

They never do it.

Little black pepper.

Pepper, that was probably unnecessary.

And here you go.

Ready Kev?

Textbook baby.

Textbook.

It is a good looking sandwich, huh?

Chop the towel baby.

Ooh.

I don't like overly spicy foods necessarily,

but when the pickled-ness

kind of brings a nice little tingly,

little vinegary bite to it,

that kind of mellows out that really aggressive bite

of just the chili, the fresh chili.

And it just goes great.

You know, something like this,

or even a fried chicken sandwich would be phenomenal on,

I wouldn't mind putting it in a salad,

do a little braised beef short rib

take like a whole half a cup of that

and just let it melt into it.

Sounds pretty good.

Put that over your rice, call it dinner.

But seriously, make them at home.

Keep them in the fridge week, two weeks in the fridge max

and put them on everything.

It's what's great about it.

Make them at home,

pickle more vegetables,

do it safely and smartly.

I love you.

Peter, Peter Piper picked a,

wait, say it again.

I can't say this, cruel man.

[Kevin] Peter Piper picked a Peck of pickled peppers.

Picked a pint?

[Kevin] Picked a peck.

A peck?

Peter, Peter pepper picked a Peck of pickled peppers.

Eight quarts is a peck?

[whistling] I believe it.

That's a lot of peppers.

No wonder why he was all tired.

Peter pepper picked a Peck of pickled peppers.

Peter Piper picked a Peck of pickled peppers

and, oh God.

A peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked

if Peter Piper picked a Peck of pickled peppers

where to peck it, where are the [beep] pickled pepper

picked the peppers?

I don't know, bon appetit, see you guys later.

[gentle music]

[Kevin] We got it!

[Brad] There's something in there.

Editing is a beautiful thing.

[bouncy music]