Brad Makes Brussels Sprout Kimchi

Animal Crossing, what the hell do you do?

Oh, it's like a Sim-sy kinda thing?

Animal Crossing, I'm gettin' on there,

I'm gonna build.

Nah, then I'll just never wanna come back

to my normal life, right?

Isn't that the future?

They're gonna make virtual reality so good

that you're like man it sucks,

let me plug back in.

Where I, where I'm ripped like Rambo

and we can hike Everest in no socks

like Wim Hof or somethin'.

Oh Jesus Christmas!

[upbeat music]

Hello, today on It's Alive, The Home Edition,

we're here in my lovely kitchen,

And today we're going to be making Brussels sprout

with a little daikon kimchi

How's this shirt look?

[Man] It's fine.

A little bunchy?

[Man] A little bunchy.

[beep] dammit!

[upbeat music]

Oh, right in the head.

Yeah, you gotta watch out for those babe.

You all right?

[Woman] Yeah.

You want an ice pack?

[Woman] No.

[groaning]

All right it's a closed set, all right.

That's how people get hurt.

Okay first off, I got one pound Brussels sprouts.

If you can find the little baby ones,

they're fantastic and I really like those.

I got one green pear.

We're only gonna use half of it.

One head of garlic.

I'll probably use like four bulbs.

I got three scallions,

and one ripe, six inch knob of daikon

that I'm gonna peel.

All right, I'm gonna take like an eighth inch, eh,

three thirty-seconds off of the outside

and then I'm just gonna cut it into little chunks and stuff.

Let me get a bigger bowl first, all right.

All right, all right, all right, settle down.

[pans banging]

[wind chimes]

I don't know who, I don't know who put those away like that.

Yeah, a lot of people wanna know

how many pots and pans I got, you know.

I got a lot of 'em.

You know everything's got a purpose for the most part.

I use a good 85, 90, I use all of it.

Mind your own business.

Anyway, Brussels sprouts.

And what I like to do, let me get closer.

I like to scour it down to the stem end like that,

like you would a normal, like a cabbage.

Because after all, these little babies

are like little cabbages, right.

Like almost there, you don't want it to fall apart.

If you lose a couple leaves, that's fine.

I wanna open it up like that

so that the brine that we create gets in there nice.

So I'm gonna do that to all of 'em.

I already nipped off, I cleaned these a little bit.

And I, you know, so I peeled back a few layers.

Oh that one went through.

No big deal.

Hey, you can quarter 'em, you can halve 'em.

You can even do this whole,

it'll just take longer because it takes a long time

for the brine, the liquid, to penetrate.

That's it, freakin' beautiful.

And like anything, you know, to the best of your ability

just try to get the best produce that you can.

Okay, we're using just a few ingredients here.

Spend the extra bucks if it's in your means

to get the better stuff.

Help out better farmers.

Great time to be buyin' local.

Not that before wasn't, it always has been a good time,

but now so more, more so than ever, okay.

For my next trick, scallions.

I'm gonna nip off the little roots, okay.

And then I'm just gonna cut 'em

into little like batons, okay.

[upbeat music]

A lot of kind folks have been askin',

have been worried, hey Brad,

hey Brad, how's the fermentation,

how's the fermentation station

back at the World Trade Center?

Well, that's a good question.

You know, and the answer I don't have,

but luckily everything that I had

was pretty stable and long term.

There might be some accidents.

There might be a couple things

that have gone a little moldy.

A kinda forget what I had,

but I don't think there was anything that was like

oh my God, I gotta go, I gotta go.

I don't think there's gonna be like a colony of life

that's takin' over that section of the test kitchen.

And if there is, we'll combat it.

All right, and I'll win.

All right, no ferment of mine is gonna beat me, okay.

That's probably not true at all.

I just really hope I don't poison myself one day.

Don't you worry about those yolks and salt

that are hangin' up on the wall.

I'm not sure that's even food grade anymore anyway.

So what I'm gonna do is I just peel off

with my knife a little layer of the skin

on the outside of this.

And then I just wanna cut 'em into little like large dice.

Okay, let's say, here, comin' in close.

No, no, I'm wrong.

WE're gonna go a little larger.

Hold on, ignore everything I said.

About that big.

And then I'm just gonna add 'em right to the,

right to the brussies

and cut 'em into little weird shapes, you know,

whatever your little creative heart desires,

like that, boom, that's what we're lookin' for.

And then my little green pear.

I'm just gonna shred this

[guitar music]

on the old box grater.

Skin and all.

That's just the kinda guy I am.

I need a new box grater so bad.

I don't know where I got this thing.

It's like for children.

I probably stole it from my kids.

Oh, maybe no skin.

All right, so cool, that's about half a cup.

Boom.

Clean up, clean up, clean up, clean up.

Everyone, everywhere.

All right.

So, garlic.

Oh that's a big bulb.

Crush in the garlic, you already know, okay.

Don't act like you don't know why.

Just do it, just freakin' do it.

All right, quit foolin' around Brad.

This is good garlic, man,

it's freakin' burning my eyes a little.

Yeah bud.

Okay, now I'm just kinda givin' it a little rough chop

so that you don't get, you know,

whatever you wanna do.

But I just gave it a little, a little rough chop,

just little chunks, little chunks,

little chunkers, little garlic chunkers.

Oh my God, that garlic when I crushed it,

my hands were like sticky,

like glue was on 'em, like epoxy.

All right, for our next trick,

you're gonna need a digital scale.

All right if you don't have one,

I'm sick and tired of it, okay.

Just get yourself one.

They're like, they're not a lot of money.

I'm sorry, I don't mean that.

Maybe if you can't get yourself one, it's fine,

but man it's a great tool for 20 bucks.

I spent, I've spent $20 on way stupider things.

If you're into food, if you're into fermentation,

get yourself a scale

because that's all I'm usin' from now on.

I'm done with teaspoons.

I'm done with oh I'm gonna get a cup and a half.

No, no, no, too much room for variation.

Gimme the grams, okay, they nailed it.

Our friends across the pond,

our buddies in Europe, right,

or is that, no, they probably didn't invent it.

It's probably like the Egyptians or something.

You know, the Europeans, they didn't.

Hunzi just gave us.

Hunzi's actually crying and I don't think he's laughing.

The metric system, who invented it, Hunzi?

I'm gonna phone a friend.

What's his name, Regis?

Let me phone a friend.

All right, let's get Matt, let's call Matt.

Get Matt on the phone.

Who wants to be a millionaire?

Hunzi, I got a question for you.

I'm on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?

And I'm stumped and they wanna know

who invented the metric system?

I said the Egyptians.

Callan not now, I'm tryin' to be a millionaire.

Hunzi, are ya there?

[Hunzi] I'm gonna go with the French.

The French, Hunzi says the French.

All right Hunzi, let me think on this,

but thanks for pickin' up.

If I win, I'll give you some money.

All right, Regie, all right, Regie.

Hunzi said the French.

Um, that kinda makes, that's kinda believable.

That kinda makes sense.

All right, Regis, French, final answer.

French, I'm goin' with Hunzi.

I put him on my call list for a reason.

I gotta stick to it.

Give it to me, Regis.

[Man] Wikipedia says the French in the 1790s.

1790s French.

Congratulations, Brad, you won $250,000.

And we're off to the next round.

Duh, duh, dun.

Right, remember Slumdog Millionaire,

what a great movie.

But anyway, back to the kimchi.

That was a lot of fun.

Hey Griff, who invented the metric system?

[Kid] Um, um, a bad guy.

A bad guy? [laughs]

That's who invented the metric system?

[Kid] Yes.

Was he French?

[Kid] Nope.

He wasn't French, ha, lies.

Okay, back to my digital scale rant

that somehow put me on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?

I love my glass bowl because it's sometimes,

well this one it wouldn't,

it doesn't make much of a difference.

Nevermind, nevermind, I'm gonna just not say that.

Anyway, we're gonna weigh it

so we can get the total weight

so we can figure out how much salt to use.

I'm gonna use 1.5% by weight.

I'm gonna add, let's say, and we're at 628 grams.

I'm gonna add some pepper flakes.

Okay, so we just added two grams.

I'm gonna tear it, oh no, I shouldn't have done that.

All right, 631, you guys remember that, 631.

And you can add as much or as little of this as you want,

the pepper flake.

It's spicy, it will make it spicy,

but I like it kinda spicy.

So we're looking at 20 plus what, six what?

Steve, 631.

Steve says 631.

So 631 plus 20.

Okay, um 51, 651.

Who's my what in the audience lifeline?

[Man] Ask the audience.

That's Stiff Steve.

Stiff Steve, okay, let's just say 630 plus 20.

We're lookin' at 650, okay.

Let's not freakin' get crazy.

We're not makin' rockets here.

[Man] All you have to do is add one to that number.

I know, I clam up with math on the camera sometimes.

Even if the camera's not there,

but sometimes your brain just stops working, you know,

and I rely so much now on my calculator.

I'm gonna add a couple plugs of fish sauce.

This is Red Boat fish sauce.

One, two, just a couple little dah dahs right there.

All right, so 650.

Oh my God, I don't have my phone.

Stay right here, don't move.

All right, we're back.

650 times .015

equals 9.75.

I'm gonna do 10 grams of salt.

10 grams, see, this is why you need scale, folks.

I'm just gonna give it a little, a little gentle,

a little tossing massage kind of rub.

Maybe I'll, maybe I'll put some gloves on.

[sad music]

No, no I'm not.

I'm not gonna put gloves on.

I'm tired of the gloves.

Kinda crush up everything a little bit, okay.

Some of that pepper flake and the salt,

I just wanna pack it, I'm comin' in close.

I wanna try to pack it in there.

You wanna try to pack it in there a little bit, okay.

That fish sauce boy kickin', whoo eee!

And as this ferments and sits,

the salt will draw out liquid

and you'll get a nice brine goin'.

Oh, I just reminded myself of somethin'.

Did they make a second Napoleon Dynamite?

No, no, thank God.

Because it probably wouldn't, thank God.

I love that movie.

When I first watched it,

I was like this is the stupidest thing

I have ever seen in my life.

I can't believe like this came out, like what the hell?

And then I fell in love,

and it's an absolute, absolute masterpiece.

All right, everyone, everyone in that is gold.

You know, they would have made a lot of money

makin' a second one, but you know what?

Very often they blow that, you know.

Uncle Rico, bet ya I can throw this football

over them mountains.

Uncle Rico's a legend.

Griff, oh you haven't seen this movie yet,

but I'm talkin' about a movie.

I love, really I've told this before for sure.

A couple that Uncle Rico was tryin' to sell tupperware to

with the damn sailboat.

I want that.

All right, get outta here boys.

Ah, oh my God, it's so close.

I was gonna use that as a weight.

What are ya going to do?

Oh, maybe Lucini.

All right, whoo.

And I'm gonna put it in a little bag, okay.

Don't judge me, I reuse them.

But maybe I coulda used a smaller jar, but whatever.

All right, a quart just wasn't quite enough.

This is fine.

No, no, we're goin' Mason jars, okay.

Real quick fourth quarter decision, all right.

I really, I just like doing dishes, okay.

I like my kimchi to have a little carbonation to it.

Okay, and this was not gonna attract gas.

I could put lids on and burp 'em,

and you can see the active fermentation.

I can get that little effervescence,

that little carbonation.

Nice, yes!

Let me go wash the bottle off.

Clean off the threads, all right,

I don't like dirty threads.

Give it one last push.

Compacto, and now we're lookin' good.

All right, that's gonna be covered in liquid.

It's gonna be super, I almost wish

I ad a little bit more head space.

I'm just gonna have to burp it three times a day

once this gets goin'.

But keep an eye on it, okay.

You don't want to just go sealin' this thing

and oh, I mean no one's goin' on vacation.

Oh, let's go, let's go to the,

let's go to the country house.

And I'm gonna leave my little kimchi bomb on the table.

Okay, you come home, oh boy, it's gonna look like

a freakin' Dexter episode in your kitchen, okay.

All right, I guess we'll,

I guess we'll just let this ferment.

You know, it's just nice to talk to someone, Steve, okay.

It's nice to see your face, buddy.

[mellow music]

All right, well get out.

[upbeat music]

Okay, so we left off,

let me get a little closer.

Oh should I do like an intro?

No, we just go into it.

Yeah, a little intro.

It's been about a week, okay.

We got our Brussels sprout kimchi here fermenting away

in our jar, okay.

But watch, we gotta nice little,

oh there we go.

See, look at those bubbles.

[bubbling sounds]

Yep, nice and stinky.

Okay, nice beautiful colors.

Now look at all that liquid.

Remember, look at that thing bubblin' away.

When I put it in, we didn't add any

if my memory is correct, but man,

it's full to the brim.

I mean, that's our nice brine,

and you can use that brine for things.

A, you can use it to start another batch.

But I like to marinate some chicken in it,

make a vinegarette, marinate some beans.

So success.

Let me get a bowl.

I made you guys a little snack.

Real simple, I made a little rice.

I got my Brussels sprouts.

I got a little scallion.

Maybe we'll fry an egg too, forget it.

Forget it, Steve's hungry.

No one wants a cranky Steve.

Now.

I guess I'll fry an egg.

Yeah, oh bud, come on.

Steve, you're in for a treat, bud.

Stiff Steve, buddy boy.

Oh my God, it smells so good.

I'm gonna put a little scoop of our kimchi.

Oh my God, this is a good batch.

This is a good, I gotta show ya.

Look at that, huh, come on.

A little Brussies, look at that,

there's a little baby cabbage, little stinkers.

Va-voom, and then you gotta have a little scallion, right.

Oh, I had to change my kitchen a little.

You might notice I took the knife rack down.

I had a nice knife rack.

I miss it, I love it, it's so convenient.

I love the magnetic racks,

but I got two little boys.

They're gettin' kinda tall.

Not this tall, but they're gettin' kinda tall.

I don't need the knives, they were up here.

They hit it with somethin', boom,

the big boy comes down, hits the kid in the face.

He's got a scar for the rest of his life.

I don't need that, all right.

And it was on my mind, so I had to take it down

because I didn't, somethin' would've happened

and I would've been like man,

this wouldn't have happened, Brad,

if you took those knives down

like you told yourself 45 times.

So the lesson here,

if there's somethin' like that in your life

and you keep puttin' it off, but you know you gotta do it,

just do it.

Now's the time.

Now is the time.

God, that's some quality content.

I'm gonna get my knife.

Look at that, huh, that's a freakin' lunch, folks.

Oh you know what I want today for lunch?

Me and Stiff Steve, we're gonna have some

Brussels sprout and daikon kimchi

over some beautifully steamed rice with scallions

and an olive oil fried egg with a little Furikake.

Hold on, I'll get it.

Oh, smells good.

I see some nori, all right.

Nice little toasted ses.

My God, I sound like Molly.

A little sese.

Okay, I'm comin' in for the close up.

Oh la la.

Oh, you know what else I have?

I gotta little chili oil.

Boop, boop, boop.

And look, it's got this cute little,

[horn] little pumper thing.

Boop, I love that.

Boop, boop, yeah.

And we'll do a little boop, boop.

I tell ya what, the best thing [horn blowing].

That's it, Bon appetit.

Get outta my house.

No, I'm just kiddin'.

Let me the cut the, let me cut the yolk.

Nice yolky thing, people love that [beep], right.

That's it, easy.

You keep that in the fridge, okay, it ferments for a week.

Fermented, you can eat it after a couple of days, okay.

Or you can go even longer if you like it real mushy.

And then you can keep it in your fridge.

It'll halt the fermentation process,

so you no longer need to burp it.

It probably won't last too, too long,

but it can sit in there for awhile.

All right, I've done it.

I've done months even.

Look at this nice little snack we got.

I got Moana lookin' over me.

She's a badass.

She's got my back.

Moana, I've seen that movie like 55 times.

It is a masterpiece.

Oh, but let's try this bad boy.

Oh yeah, hmm, oh this is supposed to be for Steve.

Steve, I'll get you, bud.

Easy, you know, even the fermentation's easy.

And you got a complete meal.

Complete meal, you could eat this for

dinner, breakfast, lunch, whenever.

And it's a fun project, man,

it's a fun thing to do with kids, fermenting.

Brussels spout kimchi.

Do it, let me know.

Or try some different variations.

You can almost, you know, you can ferment anything,

I guess, I think, if you wanna try.

But you know, if you have some different ideas,

you know, I'm always lookin' for ideas.

That's what's nice about the fermentation community.

Everyone so far, well almost everyone,

has been really nice and like open to sharing.

And I like that.

I don't wanna make a bunch of recipes and lock 'em up

like a freakin', like a recipe hermit, you know,

that's not what it's all about.

That's not what I'm all about.

Let's spread the love together.

[mellow music]

Bon appetit, baby.

I gotta go.

There's nowhere to go because I'm stuck in my home.

Oh, look at this I'm workin' on.

It's so gross.

I don't know yet, maybe we'll make an episode out of it.

Top secret, don't share it with anyone.

So it's honey, but I'm fermenting pears in it,

and look, it like turned into [beep] slime.

Honey slime, oh my God.

Ew, go ahead, you wanna bite.

[laughing]

yeah, you're gonna love this [beep].

[Man] Ew, it's like some weird ectoplasm

in an alien movie.

[Woman] Oh my God.

No, you want some, here.

[Man] I'll take it to go, pack it up.

Take it to go, well yeah, you can't stay here.

Oh my God, it's [beep] disgusting.

[upbeat music]