6 Signs That You're With the Right Person

In turbulent times when Americans are as single and lonely as they’ve ever been, 60% of U.S. adults still believe in the idea of a soulmate.

“Meant to be” can be a beacon of hope after a string of bad first dates or a marriage that ended in divorce. Fifty-two percent of Americans in the poll had been married before and still believed in "the one."

The belief comes with a strong buffer for those already in relationships, especially during the storms of life.

It also comes with risk.

Believing you are with the “right” and “only” person can influence partners to stay in abusive and toxic relationships (Franiuk et al., 2012).

It can also cause daters to exit relationships too early, presuming that the “right” person is still out there, the next swipe on their dating app.

But subscribing to either traditional soulmate or work-it-out theory is a false choice.

What if your soulmate was someone highly compatible with you, that what was “meant to be” was to find that level of compatibility?

Why not someone who also made a consistent effort?

Let “meant to be” mean a healthy, long-term love with someone you’re highly compatible with and enjoying life together.

Here are six signs that you’re in a highly compatible, secure, and healthy long-term relationship:

1. You experience a high degree of consistent emotional connection.
2. You have fun together and enjoy similar activities or adventures.
3. You crave each other sexually.
4. You experience pleasure together in silence.
5. You accept your partner as they are and experience acceptance from them.
6. You and your partner feel chosen.

This is the best-case scenario of high compatibility in the way you love. Soulmate relationships are less about a list of matching traits or qualifications and more about the way you feel when you wake up to each other in the morning.

You may have met a soulmate if you also:

• Feel admired, respected, and appreciated.
• Feel comfortable to be vulnerable.
• Experience your dreams being championed.
• See significant convergence of interests, personality, and lifestyle.
• See consistent growth in communication, conflict management, and meaning-making.

Meeting your soulmate may also mean a deep bond with spiritual connotations if spiritual and religious beliefs were part of your family culture. Sharing core beliefs about spirituality and your relationship is a good indicator of soulmate material.

If you’ve been together for at least a year and have been discussing marriage, sit down with your partner this weekend and consider the following questions:

1. How would you describe your emotional connection?
2. What fun things have you done together this past year?
3. How would you describe the quality of your sexual experience in the relationship?
4. What is your experience when you’re sharing space?
5. Why do you choose each other out of the 8.1 billion people on the planet?
6. Do you experience the best version of yourselves with each other?

If you’ve met your person, someone you’d consider a soulmate, celebrate that. Make sure your person knows how important they are to you. Make commitments commensurate with your love.

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