the best way i can describe this book is it's as if foolish hearts, which is perhaps my all time favorite YAthis might have been made for me in a lab.
the best way i can describe this book is it's as if foolish hearts, which is perhaps my all time favorite YA contemporary, were transformed into a quest-based goofy middle grade fantasy, perhaps my favorite made up hyperspecific subgenre.
the actual Plot part is a lil weak but who cares. i'm in it for the banter and the crusty bread and cheese.
more authors should write the same narrow niche for ages and then just be like "f*ck it we ball" and write a totally different, equally specific book. it worked for taylor jenkins reid, it worked for emily henry, and i'm ready to declare it works for emma mills!
bottom line: huge win for the me community.
----------------- tbr review
trying YA fantasy for the first time in years just to feel something
(thanks to netgalley for the e-arc)
Merged review:
this might have been made for me in a lab.
the best way i can describe this book is it's as if foolish hearts, which is perhaps my all time favorite YA contemporary, were transformed into a quest-based goofy middle grade fantasy, perhaps my favorite made up hyperspecific subgenre.
the actual Plot part is a lil weak but who cares. i'm in it for the banter and the crusty bread and cheese.
more authors should write the same narrow niche for ages and then just be like "f*ck it we ball" and write a totally different, equally specific book. it worked for taylor jenkins reid, it worked for emily henry, and i'm ready to declare it works for emma mills!
bottom line: huge win for the me community.
----------------- tbr review
trying YA fantasy for the first time in years just to feel something
i could only read myths and fairytales for my whole life.
but maybe not like this?
this was a strange one.
it is a somewhat chronological, locationally i could only read myths and fairytales for my whole life.
but maybe not like this?
this was a strange one.
it is a somewhat chronological, locationally disparate collection of british-related myths and legends, each given a chapter in which the first half is a mostly unchanged telling and the second half talks about the author walking through hills near where the mythological act is thought to have happened.
i wanted these to build on each other, but instead i had to struggle to place myself both in time and in setting, figure out what the connection was to the last one, if any, and work out what was true and what was a fairly inexplicable and whimsical addition from the author.
her art was very cool, and the writing style was easy to follow, but i'm not sure who this book was for? i had a beginner's understanding of these myths, and i somehow felt like i knew them too well and not well enough for this book.
i liked it more at the beginning, but by the end, the charm had worn off and i was confused about the point, which never seemed to come together.
i once again accidentally picked up a companion novel to a book i didn't read.
this time, against the odds, i liked it anyway. honestly......i liked iti once again accidentally picked up a companion novel to a book i didn't read.
this time, against the odds, i liked it anyway. honestly......i liked it more than the book it's a spinoff from, once i finally got around to that thing.
as a contextless, short lil read, this is fairytale-esque. it's very kind and lovely and i enjoyed it a lot!
it's basically a fairytale. just very kind and lovely.
bottom line: ignorance really is bliss!
------------ currently-reading updates
i have to stop picking up novellas. my average read this year is going to be approx 19 pages
brb, mom. heading to the goblin market. going to fall in love with a girl with like, corduroy skin and a spine made of thorns and have a chunk torn oubrb, mom. heading to the goblin market. going to fall in love with a girl with like, corduroy skin and a spine made of thorns and have a chunk torn out of my shoulder via teeth. see ya later
anyway.
i was obsessed with this and read like 200 pages in a sitting and it took me 2 days to get through the next third.
the pacing was weird!!! and not in the goofy weird mythical creature way i expected and/or would have been delighted by. it flashed back and forth between the past and the present, one of those books that's half flashback, and while normally i hate the flashbacks this time i preferred em!the stakes just...never felt very high in the current day.
like...if your guardian is letting you get bit by a goblin how unsafe is it.
but overall i thought this was a huge improvement over the author's debut stylistically and in content and i love feeling optimistic!
it's like a tropical for my dark twisted nihilistic brain.
bottom line: goblins!!!!!!!
3.5
---------------- tbr review
sapphic star-crossed lovers in a horror-fantasy spooky goblin market?? am i dreaming
Here is a small list of perfect things in life: - fairytales - scary weird mean beautiful girls - unsolved mysteries - flowers and generally pretty thingsHere is a small list of perfect things in life: - fairytales - scary weird mean beautiful girls - unsolved mysteries - flowers and generally pretty things - magical worlds just outside of ours - creepy stories - sisters
There are probably eleven perfect things in life, and I just listed seven of them. (Shoutout to 7 Eleven.) (Now I want a slushie.)
And guess the hell what.
THEY'RE ALL IN THIS BOOK.
I 100% added this book because of its cover, but then I did something unthinkably brave and even more rare: I read the synopsis. And when I did, I only got...more excited??
This is a story of three spooky sisters who had something Mysterious happen in childhood: they disappeared completely for a month, then came back with pure white hair, black eyes, sharp teeth, and ravenous appetites, and no memory of where they had been.
DOESN'T THAT SOUND AMAZING.
Also, their names are Grey, Vivi, and Iris. I mean...come on.
A decade or so later, each sister is leading a very different (but always superlative) life, when the eldest goes missing. Cue a bunch of ethereal gore, model-on-model violence, and bug descriptions that will burn themselves into your head.
This is my favorite thing for YA to be: completely ridiculous, high on itself, and one of a kind.
Yes, that has its drawbacks: The plot dragged at times (under the weight of some truly try-hard writing), and our protagonist is less compelling than her sisters (this is the curse of most young adult fiction), and it has that extremely goofy thing of when YA authors try to make their characters rich and/or famous (in this case both) but they have literally no idea how and it ends up completely past the point of parody...
But when I let myself ignore all of that, this was fun. Much the dark spooky fairytale situation I wanted.
Undecided on whether to round up or down but 3.5 for sure!
Bottom line: dreams do come true.
----------------- pre-review
accidentally read 100 pages of this in a sitting. either it's that good or it's a cursed object
update: probably a cursed object.
review to come / 3.5 stars
----------------- tbr review
i know i've said many times that i judge books by their covers.
this was fun and nice and i wish i read it when i was a child. because then i would have felt the full whimsy of it in real time, and then also have athis was fun and nice and i wish i read it when i was a child. because then i would have felt the full whimsy of it in real time, and then also have access to a lifelong store of nostalgia every time i read it again forevermore.
but instead, this is a children's book i read as an adult, so it feels like the ceiling of my feelings for it are "fun and nice."
but it was definitely that!
bottom line: am i having an existential crisis?
--------------------- tbr review
two people told me this is similar to alice's adventures in wonderland, and that was enough for an immediate placement on my to-read list...more
rumpelstiltskin is the best fairytale ever. a tiny man with an insane name who sings it to himself but gets so mad when you guess it he tears himself rumpelstiltskin is the best fairytale ever. a tiny man with an insane name who sings it to himself but gets so mad when you guess it he tears himself in half? good stuff.
so before reading this, i was all, if marissa meyer can write a retelling half as good as that...we're in business.
unfortunately that is a hard order to fill. a tough nut to crack. the difficulty-level equivalent of eating just half a candy bar, or those inexplicably impossible barbie game boy games i used to have to ask my mom to play for me. (why did i think my mom was the early 2000s equivalent of a twitch streamer? i have no idea.)
anyway, enough goofing off, i have a new hot take:
no book should ever have a romance. especially YA fantasy.
i'll make exceptions for the romcoms i can't stop trying even though i have clearly unmeetable expectations. i'll make the OCCASIONAL exception for lit fic, but only if it involves a very complicated (read: unlikable) woman destroying herself in a toxic relationship.
but i am retired from YA fantasy romance. the love story in this book did nothing but detract from what good there was!
because here's the thing: i knew there'd be some form of romance here. i expected it. because the thing about the original iconic fairytale is that even the brothers grimm didn't know what the people (me) wanted (as much content as possible about some gobliny freak), and the main character was actually the gold-spinning lady who marries the king's son.
but the romance in this book is...not with the king's son?
it is, to the best of my recollection, with some weird little ghost boy.
do i feel this swap made sense? no. do i feel it made even less sense when she was (view spoiler)[SUDDENLY PREGNANT (hide spoiler)]?!?!? yep i sure do!
I can't even say I'm disappointed, because if you asked me aggressively two months ago what I expected to rate this book, I would have said "2.5,Well.
I can't even say I'm disappointed, because if you asked me aggressively two months ago what I expected to rate this book, I would have said "2.5, and also that's why I've had an advance copy of this for over a year and didn't even touch it until I was forced to by an equally aggressive readathon."
I am, at this moment, and also for most of the last couple of years, not interested in young adult fantasy.
You may want to say, "Emma, that's because you're officially in your mid-twenties, and you've probably outgrown it. It's not for you."
And while you would be right, you would fill me with so much rage and confusing sadness that I would probably cry, which would make me embarrassed, which would make me even angrier.
So let's avoid that.
This is fine. This is the kind of YA fantasy that I didn't love even when I was in my YA fantasy heyday, which is written in vaguely old-timey fancy language and centers around a romance between two teenagers who don't know each other well.
It didn't work for me, but if the genre works for you, this probably will! Who can say anything anymore.
Bottom line: A meh book that managed to bring about a quarter-life crisis.
--------------- pre-review
how many times am i allowed to say i think i'm outgrowing YA fantasy before i have to accept that i've outgrown it?
A common belief held by many people, formerly myself included, is that when people are very beautiful they are often not that interesting. Because theA common belief held by many people, formerly myself included, is that when people are very beautiful they are often not that interesting. Because they are immediately somewhat interesting due to being fun to look at, they did not need to develop much beyond that.
That is not how I feel about people, but it is how I feel about this book.
This is one of the most crazy beautiful books I have ever held in my hands. Every turned page was like...gasp! Wow! Paparazzi, get over here!
But the writing...left something to be desired.
Have you ever read a book that fails so completely to get you into it that you can't really focus throughout?
This is a very short book and it took me hours to read it, for that reason alone.
You do have to hand it to the Grishaverse, though. Not many other series could write a complete theological text with examples of saints from each fictional country in said fictional universe.
That's some damn good worldbuilding.
Bottom line: They can't all be hits! And if this book being slightly worse gets Ninth House 2 finished even days earlier, then so be it.
----------------- pre-review
i've probably said this before but i don't care. i'll scream it from the rooftops.
nobody is doing it like leigh bardugo.
review to come / 3 stars
-----------------
i just received this as a gift and threw the horrible half dust jacket away immediately.
merry christmas to all
clear ur sh*t book 56 quest 24: a book in a series
----------------- tbr review
i am forced to assume that this extremely exciting book is this ugly solely to teach me not to judge books by their covers...more
There’s nothing particularly wrong with this one. We just don’t get along. Like, for example, there is nothing I loveI would like a new brain, please.
There’s nothing particularly wrong with this one. We just don’t get along. Like, for example, there is nothing I love more than reading, but my brain has spent most of this year making be in “”””reading slumps””””, which leads to absurdity and hijinks like “taking three days to finish this book, which is shorter than some school-assigned readings I was expected to do overnight and didn’t because ew, textbooks.”
Nothing says READING SLUMP like taking 3 days to finish a 200-page YA fantasy, my guy.
And there wasn’t even anything particularly wrong with it!! I mean, yes, I have never not had trouble connecting with the characters in these teeny lil Wayward Children books, and no, this is not my FAVORITE of the settings in this series (Candyland exists in this world! And so does Wonderland, technically speaking), but still.
When don’t I have a complaint.
And this installment was very exciting!!! Very plot heavy compared to the other books.
In conclusion, my brain has no excuse and I would like a new one, please and thanks.
Bottom line: Good book! Bad brain.
------------ pre-review
like the wizard of oz, except instead of a ragtag group of southern belles and men in costumes it's a small army of raging teens, and instead of a yellow brick road it's a bloody path through a fairytale world of monsters, and instead of going to see the wizard it's going to kill your sister.
Here are the characters in this book: - seven dwarf brothers who are roommates - an evil queen who is singularly obsessed with being hot - a talking mirrHere are the characters in this book: - seven dwarf brothers who are roommates - an evil queen who is singularly obsessed with being hot - a talking mirror with magical powers - a hunter who resorts to trickery when his job description includes “killing children” - a prince whose idea of marriage material is “beautiful and asleep” - a seven year old who’s pretty.
Of all those characters, kind of a bummer that the last one is our main character, but we take the wins with the losses in this life.
I have been into classic fairytales for my entire life, because my idea of a good time was and continues to be reading about personality-less girls with golden hair, dumb men on quests, and creepy small villainous mythical creatures with incredible violent streaks.
This one did not disappoint.
Bottom line: 1937’s Snow White and the Seven Dwarves??? I don’t know her.
-------------
the evil stepmother gets a bad rap, but honestly if a mirror told me that a seven year old was prettier than me i'd feel pretty villainous too.
review to come / 4 stars
-------------
eating an apple and taking a long nap honestly sounds really good right now...more
the background: i have decided to become a genius.
to accomplish this, i'm going to work my way through the collecmy becoming-a-genius project, part 15!
the background: i have decided to become a genius.
to accomplish this, i'm going to work my way through the collected stories of various authors, reading + reviewing 1 story every day until i get bored / lose every single follower / am struck down by a vengeful deity.
in this case, i'm out of collected stories and really want to read some fairytales but this has 150 stories in it and i will NOT be reading the same book for 5 months so...5 stories a day it is. insert sunglasses emoji. i also won't be individually rating them, because they're like 3 sentences long.
STORY 1: THE FROG KING, OR IRON HENRY personally i'd rather be called the frog king. sounds cooler.
2: THE COMPANIONSHIP OF THE CAT AND MOUSE ben and jerry! wait. tom and jerry is the cat and mouse. ben and jerry is the ice cream. i am a fool.
3: THE VIRGIN MARY'S CHILD the virgin mary plays a real rumpelstiltskin role in this one.
4: GOOD BOWLING AND CARD PLAYING sounds like my kinda night! minus what turns out to be a beating-cats-to-death part. can't win em all.
5: THE WOLF AND THE SEVEN KIDS kids as in goats. what a twist.
6: THE NIGHTINGALE AND THE BLINDWORM me standing next to my pretty friends. just kidding. i'm pretty and i don't have friends :)
7: THE STOLEN PENNIES ghost story!!!!!!!
8: THE HAND WITH THE KNIFE gotta love the stories that are no moral, just suffering.
9: THE TWELVE BROTHERS evil mother-in-law. a classic.
10: RIFFRAFF great word.
11: LITTLE BROTHER AND LITTLE SISTER so many kings hunting in so many forests and finding so many beautiful maidens to be dazzled by.
12: RAPUNZEL in this version, the prince climbs up rapunzel's hair to get her pregnant. more realistic.
13: THE THREE LITTLE MEN IN THE FOREST this is almost exactly the same as little brother and little sister. and not just because they both have little in the title.
14: NASTY FLAX SPINNING the moral of this story is that only ugly people should have to work.
15: HANSEL AND GRETEL i know this gingerbread house is about to make me so hungry. yuuuum. roof made of cake.
16: HERR FIX-IT-UP this book is fond of the phrase "a thousand million," which makes me fond of it.
17: THE WHITE SNAKE gotta love when back to back stories are exactly the same.
18: THE JOURNEY OF THE STRAW, THE COAL, AND THE BEAN this one has an alternate ending to itself right in the text. life hack.
19: THE FISHERMAN AND HIS WIFE the first sentence of this includes both the phrase "once upon a time" and the equally beloved and oft-used "lived in a piss pot."
20: A STORY ABOUT A BRAVE TAILOR a more straightforward title than "the brave little tailor." it's the same, though, except it ends with "[The rest of this story is missing.]" another ending hack!
21: CINDERELLA heavy hitter alert!
22: HOW SOME CHILDREN PLAYED AT SLAUGHTERING there are 5 characters in this story and the body count of this story is 5.
23: THE LITTLE MOUSE, THE LITTLE BIRD, AND THE SAUSAGE i've said it before and i'll say it again: tag yourself.
24: MOTHER HOLLE this describes someone as "like the Cinderella of the house." meta.
25: THE THREE RAVENS a lamer east of the sun, west of the moon.
26: LITTLE RED CAP in this version the wolf is described as gobbling up the "fat chunks" of little red. disturbing in and of itself.
27: DEATH AND THE GOOSE BOY so many chances to tag yourself, so little time.
28: THE SINGING BONE why are any murders unsolved? just make the bones into mouthpieces for your instruments and they'll tell you what happened?
29: THE DEVIL WITH THE THREE GOLDEN HAIRS gotta love when all the heroism is done by an uncredited woman.
30: LITTLE LOUSE AND LITTLE FLEA read that as "louise" the first 3 times.
31: MAIDEN WITHOUT HANDS pretty good album name.
32: CLEVER HANS this ends by saying God protect us from geese. and it's right to say it.
33: PUSS IN BOOTS shrek fans activate.
34: HANS'S TRINA "Hans's Trina was lazy and didn't want to do any work." and who can blame her?
35: THE SPARROW AND HIS FOUR CHILDREN this is about a group of birds who like...REALLY love god.
36: THE LITTLE MAGIC TABLE, THE GOLDEN DONKEY, AND THE CLUB IN THE SACK what more do you need in this life?
37: THE TABLECLOTH, THE KNAPSACK, THE CANNON HAT, AND THE HORN sensing a theme here...
38: MRS. FOX fingers crossed she's fantastic.
39: THE ELVES this is three stories, just about the kind of stuff that elves get up to.
40: THE ROBBER BRIDEGROOM this is about a princess who watches her grandmother's murder and then carries her chopped-off finger for 24 hours for threat reasons. it's good.
41: HERR KORBES the classic story of a group of animals and inanimate objects who take a trip to visit some dude and then kill him because he was kinda late.
42: THE GODFATHER coppola, explain!
43: THE STRANGE FEAST this has: two sausages who are best friends; a violent sausage who is a "blood sausage"; the most important character referred to as "someone - I don't know who it was." a goddamn masterpiece.
44: GODFATHER DEATH if you guessed that this would slightly more badass but deeply similar to the godfather, you'd be right.
45: THE WANDERING OF THUMBLING, THE TAILOR'S SON thumbelina is cooler.
46: FITCHER'S BIRD screaming that this bluebeard-type story contains the transition phrase "Back at his place,"
47: THE JUNIPER TREE this is about a mom who gets so excited to have a baby that she spontaneously dies, and then a stepmother who accidentally kills said baby and then frames her kid for the murder, and dines on a soup made of the body and flavored by the tears of the framed killer.
48: OLD SULTAN sultan is a dog's name. bet you didn't see that one coming.
49: THE SIX SWANS if there's one thing fairytales love almost as much as kings finding hot girls in the woods, it's 6 brothers turning into birds.
50: BRIAR ROSE classic check!
51: THE FOUNDLING every story should end like this: "They were very happy, and if they haven't died, they're still alive."
52: KING THRUSHBEARD i always think that women are right and men are wrong, and this story (in which the punishment for a girl making a joke about a man's chin is years of poverty, mockery, starvation, and suffering) only proves i'm right.
53: LITTLE SNOW WHITE the first story i felt obligated to tweet about.
54: SIMPLE HANS crazy how some things never change. like we still determine paternity by giving a kid a lemon and sending him to church and whoever he hands it to is his dad.
55: RUMPELSTILTSKIN my favorite creepy little goblin creature <3
56: SWEETHEART ROLAND maybe it's just me, but i think if a guy turns his girlfriend into a rock and forgets about her he shouldn't get to marry her.
57: THE GOLDEN BIRD one single golden feather was worth more than this bozo's whole kingdom. sounds like a real sh*thole.
58: LOYAL GODFATHER SPARROW gotta admire a story that's like 60% death threats.
59: PRINCE SWAN this is #1 with a bullet in the Most Confusing rankings.
60: THE GOLDEN EGG this is a "fragment," which is a nice way of saying it's short and doesn't have an ending.
61: THE TAILOR WHO SOON BECAME RICH eat the tailor.
62: BLUEBEARD bluebeard!!! i love this freak!
63: THE GOLDEN CHILDREN turn your name into a fairytale title! just start with "THE GOLDEN" and put any word at all after that.
64: THE SIMPLETON finally, some representation.
65: ALL FUR "I am nothing and am good for nothing except for having boots thrown at my head." new catchphrase alert.
66: HURLEBURLEBUTZ if anyone's looking for name ideas.
67: THE KING WITH THE LION if you're allowed to wish for anything you want, a pretty badass option is "11 clones."
68: THE SUMMER AND THE WINTER GARDEN this is literally, exactly, top to bottom beauty and the beast.
69: JORINDA AND JORINGEL we are rich in potential baby names.
70: OKERLO i cannot do this one, which includes cannibals and screwball comedy and conveniently placed 7 mile boots that only walk 1 mile and hairdos made of butter, justice.
71: PRINCESS MOUSESKIN the baby name jokes are too easy.
72: THE PEAR REFUSED TO FALL this is...the worst song of all time.
73: THE CASTLE OF MURDER if my new husband were going to move me into a place called "the castle of murder," i would simply refuse to go. no offense to this girl but i'm different.
74: JOHANNES WATERSPRING AND CASPAR WATERSPRING gotta love a water feature-based immaculate conception.
75: THE BIRD PHOENIX bit redundant.
76: THE CARNATION the beautiful princess in this is named Lisa.
77: THE CARPENTER AND THE TURNER suddenly i want to reread alice.
78: THE OLD GRANDFATHER AND THE GRANDSON a nice little tale of elder abuse.
79: THE WATER NIXIE nixie goes to church!!!!! i have been eagerly anticipating this since emma told me of it in the comments, and it lived up to my internal hype.
80: THE DEATH OF LITTLE HEN this story is called the death of little hen, but in fact everyone who appears in this story dies.
81: THE BLACKSMITH AND THE DEVIL if you suck so bad even hell doesn't want you, you can go to heaven.
82: THE THREE SISTERS imagine having three daughters and managing to sell ALL of them into matrimony with a different wild animal.
83: THE POOR MAIDEN if you give all your clothes away and live as a nudist you'll be rewarded in wealth.
84: THE MOTHER-IN-LAW you probably love your mother in law
85: FRAGMENTS aaaaand there's the anti-semitism.
86: THE FOX AND THE GEESE "Then he laughed and said, 'Ho, I've come at just the right moment.'"...more
I love middle grade. I love middle grade adventure ESPECIALLY - and especially-especially if said middle grade aThis is just, honestly, really boring.
I love middle grade. I love middle grade adventure ESPECIALLY - and especially-especially if said middle grade adventure is fairytale-y.
This one checked those boxes, but no dice.
Also no plot, no likable characters, and no real enjoyment.
This was totally story-less. It legitimately consists of two characters wandering around aimlessly up and down some mountains. (Yes, you read correctly - the title contains the extent of the plot we get.)
And I think it’s yuck to spend 242 pages reading about a protagonist as bratty and unlikable as this one. She treats people and animals like they are her personal playthings, constantly expected to do right by her and her only.
Plus this was teeming with hit-you-over-the-head morals about the silliness of rules and the importance of family and blah blah blah in a quirky way that just got grueling after a while.
Ultimately, this didn’t even feel like a finished book. It was choppy and confusing and half-baked and...rarely do I say this, but I’m confused as to how this got published.
The best part of this was the songs. (Whoever thought I’d say this? Not me.)
Bottom line: :(
------------
I FINISHED MY READING CHALLENGE!
also this book was meh but that's less exciting.
review to come / 2 stars
------------
my mom asked if she could pick my last read of the year and when i agreed she gave me this book, which she checked out of the library at the school where she teaches kindergarten.
in conclusion, there's already no way this reading experience can get any cuter....more
The short version of this review is this is a not-bad book with a not-bad concept that could benefit from a zealous edit.
In fact, it reminded me of faThe short version of this review is this is a not-bad book with a not-bad concept that could benefit from a zealous edit.
In fact, it reminded me of fanfiction, a comparison I have made before to half-baked but pleasant/easy/fun reads. And often I wish I could turn back time to when nothing satisfied me more than a story about Justin Bieber falling in love with his tour costume designer, or a quirky London resident trapped in a love triangle with two members of One Direction.
But alas, those are bygone days, and I wanted more from this.
This could have been a fine-ish read. While some of the writing feels fanfiction-y, as mentioned, some other lines are very beautiful. Plus it was quick.
Also, the concept is really interesting: A girl (Myra) who has long been obsessed with medieval history is able to access a secret, long-locked up castle when she begins working as the character model for a video game set inside...and realizes she can see into the past!!! 600 years ago!!! And the thing that she sees is a very hot guy, in a mirror.
Fun stuff.
Unfortunately, a lot of other stuff is not so fun.
For example, there is one gay character, Steve - Myra’s friend and the creator of the video game. His parents and Myra’s parents want them to get married, but since he’s gay, that’s a hard no. Steve has a long-term boyfriend, Tyler, who is black and thus (I believe) the only noted character of color.
First off, Tyler’s depiction is...not great. He curses all the time, much more than any other character. He continually calls his boyfriend “dude,” as opposed to every other character. And he uses phrasing and slang like “ain’t gonna,” unlike every other character.
These are notable differences which, taken altogether, don’t NOT look like stereotyping.
But that’s not all. Towards the end, Steve suddenly reveals himself to not be gay. Tyler was faking it, and Steve was lying about his identity in order to get Myra to fall in love with him.
Not a good look.
In less concerning news, this was not convincing historical fiction, in terms of language or of facts. Edward, the hot medieval guy from the mirror, lives an inexplicably advanced life for 1415. He uses the “lavatory,” for one thing. He goes for a run. He acts as though 28 is very young to get married, even though he’s like 2 years from dying of old age by my calculations. And the writing is basically identical to our 2015 perspective, including Edward using the phrase “have the balls.”
Finally, this just needs a good edit. On one page it says “What would I tell my mom?” and on the next it gives a paragraph-long description of what she’d told her days before. Myra does want a huge engagement party, then says she’s never wanted one. At one point Steve is screaming at Myra, profoundly hurt by her rejection, and suddenly he calmly says that she can go try to talk to the dead guy she loves instead. Edward thinks “How can I torture a woman? I have never touched any woman in my life, and I don’t want to torture her with my hands” like a page after he grabbed this woman by the hair, pushed her against the wall, and held her by the throat hard enough that she couldn’t breathe.
A real bummer.
Bottom line: This was an okay book that could have been really good.
-------------- pre-review
well. a lot just happened.
review to come / 2.5 stars
--------------
can every book be about fairytales? okay cool thanks
i was provided a copy by the author in exchange for an honest review...more
Considering: giving up on historical fiction forever.
There is just something about the way that old-timey-but-actually-it's-new-timey-it's-just-pretenConsidering: giving up on historical fiction forever.
There is just something about the way that old-timey-but-actually-it's-new-timey-it's-just-pretend stuff is written that I cannot cope with.
This is only 50% set in forever ago times, but that fifty percent was so snooze worthy that it actually permeated throughout the wonders of modern life.
This was only my second Anna-Marie McLemore, but the other one was so much more magicky and lovely and fun.
This was none of that. But then maybe I'm just cursed to dislike every ARC I receive until I'm blackballed by the publishing industry. (Speaking of...thanks, publisher...also sorry.)
Bottom line: Honestly I don't even know why I 3 starred this!
-------------- pre-review
currently: yawning very hard.
both because i keep forgetting to drink my coffee and because this was kind of a snooze?
review to come / 3ish stars
-------------- currently-reading updates
reading my second anna-marie mclemore book just days after my first. that's pride, baby
also this is an ARC i'm reading a year and a half late.
--------------
reading all books with LGBTQ+ rep for pride this month!
WHY CAN’T EVERY BOOK BE A MAGICAL WONDERLAND-Y BOOK ABOUT GOBLIN MARKETS.
I basically only want to read magical realism about strong bookish girls goinWHY CAN’T EVERY BOOK BE A MAGICAL WONDERLAND-Y BOOK ABOUT GOBLIN MARKETS.
I basically only want to read magical realism about strong bookish girls going on adventures and exploring unapologetically.
I could do without the bittersweet endings that make my heart hurt, but I get the appeal.
Even though this series is, on paper, perfect for me (magic and murder and Candyland and books and mystery and rabbit-holes and all of it in a world where Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland is real, and also all of the books are short), I haven’t loved it all.
I did love the first book, so so so much (I mean magical murder mysteries at magic boarding school are all I could ask for), but the second was a disappointment. The third, which takes place in a world of sweets and thus combines at least 6 of my top 10 favorite things ever, still didn’t completely do it for me. Truly the shock of the century.
This wasn’t everything, but it was damn close. Closer than anything since the first book.
ALSO, I WAS IN THE WORST SLUMP OF THE YEAR WHEN I READ THIS AND I FINISHED IT. Can't get more of a rave review than that.
Bottom line: HURRAY.
-----------
i don't know if this magically broke me out of my reading slump, but i do know this: I FINISHED A BOOK.
review to come / 4 stars
-----------
if a dark, fairytale-y fantasy book that barely hits the 200 page mark can't get me out of my reading slump...
![Once Upon A [Stolen] Time (Stolen, #1)](https://cdn.statically.io/img/i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1445635279l/26876204._SY75_.jpg)
Loading...
