I only know one way to like music. That is when you hear a song and you’re instantly like, Holy shit this is THE SONG, and then you are fully unable to listen to any other music, everything else pales in comparison, you can only listen to this one song on an endless loop until you’re eventually so sick of it that you can’t even listen to it for approximately twelve calendar months.
I’m currently in this cycle with the song “You,” by the 1975. (Which, as a side-note, is a band I refuse to listen to purposefully because I find it really pretentious and I think their fans are super like, Oh, you like a song by the 1975? That’s cute. I knew about them before their EP released. Yeah I picked up a conch shell that washed up on the shores of northern England and I listened to it and out from it emerged the dulcet tones of pre-label signing the 1975.)
It’s really inconvenient to use “the 1975” in a sentence. Inconsiderate band-naming: add it to the list of why I’ll never be an intentional fan of theirs.
Anyway.
All of that is to say that the same-named song to this book added to the already-heady experience of reading this book.
And boy was it heady.
I am really hard on all books. My average rating for 2017 was 2.7, which is truly dismal. I’m aware of that. I’m probably cynical and bitter and I’m definitely critical, it’s true. But it’s all especially true when it comes to thrillers.
I only like thrillers if they scare me. And, as someone who is scared of heights and things jumping out at me and walking at night and murderers and mice and robberies and bugs touching me and germs and the alarm system in my apartment that randomly, arbitrarily speaks in a robotic woman’s voice, it doesn’t seem like that’d be a high bar to reach.
But books rarely scare me! And the amazing, fabulous, world-changing and life-redefining news is this book creeped the sh*t out of me.
Caroline Kepnes is a genius. She figured out something basic and elemental and applicable: People are the most scared when they think that a scary thing - even if it’s not the scariest possible thing - could happen to them.
And what happened in You is creepy and sometimes disgusting and visceral and awful...and so, so, so, so possible.
We follow Joe. Joe is a man in his mid-to-late twenties who works in a bookstore. He loves to read; he’s kind of technologically disengaged; he’s a bit pretentious and New York born-and-bred; he’s a high school dropout but pretty consistently the smartest guy in the room.
Kind of a dream guy on paper, if I’m being totally honest.
One day, a woman walks into the bookstore - she’s exactly Joe’s Natalie Portman-esque type. They flirt at the register. It’s a totally normal interaction.
Except then Joe looks at the name on the credit card. And he Googles. And he stalks Twitter, and Facebook, and Google Maps, and he knows her address and her friends and her plans and where she’ll be and who she is and where she went to college and her job and he can read her writing and he has access to hundreds of pictures and her favorite movie and the books she loves.
Even easier because this girl, Beck, always has her windows open in her safe neighborhood full of the unsuspicious rich.
So Joe pursues Beck. It’s just a little simpler, because he can read her emails and visit her therapist and buy club soda from her druggie old-money lover.
This book is, in other words, a nightmare.
I’d imagine it’s really polarizing. This book exposes a lot about what might shame us. It’s hard to admit that sometimes you catch yourself rooting for Joe. It’s even harder to admit what you’d do if you were Beck. Because for me: I’d flirt with the guy at the bookstore register. I’d be pleasantly surprised to see him coincidentally later. I’d be flattered by the extent to which he’s into me. It’s really doubtful that I’d ever suspect him of hoarding my old phone or stealing my high school yearbook.
Which is to say: I’d fall for Joe, and his traps.
And what could be scarier than that?
Bottom line: One of the best thrillers. Period.
Happy new year, gang.
------------ pre-review
YOOOOOOOOO.
HAHAHAHA DUDE WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!
review to come when my thoughts come in actual phrases...more
HOW DO YOU WRITE A REVIEW OF A BOOK THAT YOU LOVED SO MUCH IT MAKES YOUR HEART WARM AND IT RESTORED YOUR FAITH IN YA AND EVERYTHING IS GOOD IN THE WORHOW DO YOU WRITE A REVIEW OF A BOOK THAT YOU LOVED SO MUCH IT MAKES YOUR HEART WARM AND IT RESTORED YOUR FAITH IN YA AND EVERYTHING IS GOOD IN THE WORLD WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT IT AND FLOWERS BLOOM AND BIRDS FLOAT AROUND YOUR HEAD AND SING OR TWEET OR WHATEVER IT IS THEY DO.
No, seriously, please tell me how. Because I read this book a month ago and I got nothin.
I suppose I will begin with what I know to be true, and what I know to be true is that Richard Gansey III is my husband. I have said this now in three (3) consecutive reviews of each of the three (3) books in this series I have read, and yet it only grows to be more true. Because he only gets better. (What does it say about me that I'm now one hundred percent convinced I just jinxed myself and will hate him by the next book? In other words what is wrong with me. This is a cry for help.)
I love Gansey. It’s an all-consuming love. It’s above analysis, so I can’t even tell you why I do. But I do. And I’m claiming him. He is THE book boyfriend for me now. (Goodbye, Étienne St. Clair from Anna and the French Kiss. It’s been a good three years, but I’ve grown. I've matured. I’ve moved on. And also, you’re short, and that’s just never been a viable option for me.)
Excluding Gansey (because I could talk about my love for that elegant man-boy for pages and nobody wants that)...things tend a lot more toward the "eh" end of the spectrum. As in, Ronan is still incredibly blah. Who caaaaaares. We get it. You're edgy. You can stop now. Also, Adam, still sooooooo eh. But I willllll say...a certain relationship begins to blossom and bloom and beautifully pop up from the soil...and that shindig is not eh at all. (Insert the smolder emoji here.)
But, quelle surprise, nothing is perfect because nothing is ever good or easy, and there is a relationship that is so incredibly eh it's almost like it's too eh for the world eh. Like, they tried to put a picture of this relationship in the dictionary next to the word eh, but they were like one, this is a fictional couple so that's impossible, two, is the word eh even in the dictionary, and three, THIS IS TOO EH EVEN FOR THIS.
That's the dictionary people, angrily shouting NEXT, as in "next person proposing an image to be added next to a definition." I bet you didn't consider how much time dealing with those queries takes for the employees of dictionaries.
ANYWAY. That horribly boring and blah relationship is...sigh...Blue and Gansey. That pairing can die, really. Brutally. That budding duo can get run over by a steamroller and come out all Flat Stanley'd and non-viable on the other side. Also, to clarify, I mean the relationship itself can die. I would never endorse the murder of Gansey.
ANYWAY AGAIN. When did Blue/Gansey happen? One second they're just a pair of pals and the next second they are SMASHING their FACES together PRETENDING they're KISSING. Horrible! Gross! For so many reasons! On so many levels!
Also, I am not saying this due to any repressed jealousy. That would be insane. And while I may be at a level of insanity that I would call dibs on the hand in marriage of a fictional character, I am not yet at a level of insanity wherein I am jealous of the fictional beaux of that fictional character. That would be, in case anyone is wondering just when this whole thing will officially have gone too far, the moment when help should be contacted.
But back to the characters. I literally did not even finish that section. God help me. ANYWAY. Blue is pretty cool in this book, because she always is. Noah is still my small spooky son, and I love him and he should’ve been in this book more, but that’s just because he should be in everything. In order for me to attain true happiness I need to reach a point where Noah is popping up even in content not created by Maggie Stiefvater. He’s a goddamn prince and he deserves it.
The Gray Man sticks around for this book, which is a thrill because I love him. (I do not know why this is true, because his literal defining characteristic is that he is gray, but I love him anyway.) AND PLUS, NEW PEOPLE COME. AND GUESS WHAT? THEY'RE ALSO GREAT.
Piper is a queen. A literal queen, because I am crowning her queen of all villains. This is legitimate and legal in the eyes of the law, because I crowned myself ruler of all books.
Piper's husband what's his name is also pretty sick. Which is really surprising, because one, male villains are so boring, and two, Evil Teacher Guy has also been done. Like, within this very series. Two books ago.
Hahahahaha oh my god. Whoa. I almost forgot about that horrendous bore. What a snoozefest that guy was. The improvement to this series just by this book alone is WILD my friends. WILD.
But there are even more new people! These include: - a woman who is cool (both the least spoilery AND least interesting way I could possibly put that) - a guy named Jesse who is pretty cute and lovable
Maggie Stiefvater can really crank out characters I care about. (A feat matched by, guess what, literally no other authors. I am semi-incapable of even fictional love and affection.)
The setting remains sick, because it always has been. The magic is even amazing-er than ever. (How does it keep getting better?!)
This book is just...a more action-packed version of the other two. More of the stuff ya like, less of the same filler sh*t from the first two. You know. Less “Adam is poor and insecure about it, Blue eats yogurt and let’s talk more about the whole amplifier thing, Ronan is angsty, Gansey chews a mint leaf and plays with toys and has a journal and is somehow very rich throughout, Ronan is angsty, Noah is blurry and also, oh yeah, (view spoiler)[dead (hide spoiler)], and of course, Ronan, in case you forgot, is extraordinarily, next-level angsty.”
Seriously, that's a spot on encapsulation of the first two books. I am honestly proud of myself. You could definitely just skip the first two books and cut to what matters based on that paragraph alone. (Please don't do that.)
I'm quite pleased I didn't give The Raven Boys or The Dream Thieves five stars, because this sh*t is on a whole other level baby. They aren't even in the same REALM OF EXISTENCE. If those two are books this one straight up has to be called something else. We have to make up a new word based on how much better this one is than those garbage monsters.
Ugh! I am filled with love. And also excitement. And also immense fear and trepidation and regret because oh my god the next one just cannot be as good there is no way it's impossible life is just an endless feast of disappointment with countless courses of sadness casserole, which is also known as just "casserole."
Um.
Just realized I'm not going to ever ever read the last book.
Bottom line: WHATEVER LITERALLY JUST READ THE SERIES FOR THIS BOOK IT IS LIFE-CHANGING AND I KNOW I DID A BAD JOB OF EXPLAINING HOW GREAT IT IS BUT JUST TRUST ME, OK? I'm not used to five star reviews.
------------------- PRE-REVIEW
my skin is clear. my bank account is full. my bookshelves aren't messy and my crops survived the winter.
ok well none of that is true BUT THIS BOOK CHANGED MY STUPID LIFE!!!!!!
review to come once i resurrect my laptop (even my keyboard died of shock at a five star rating)
------------------- CURRENTLY-READING UPDATE
ho
ly
shit.
IS THIS GOING TO BE A FIVE STAR READ?????????...more
Okay. Okay okay okay. So. This book, I would say, is the following mix: video games + ’80s culture + sci-fi + semi-dystopia + general nerdiness. Excluding the latter, I am not interested in any of those things.
BUT DAMN IF I DIDN’T LOVE THIS BOOK.
Okay. I’m sorry. I’m trying to calm myself down enough to write a review.
Was this book perfect? No. Sometimes it was dumb, or confusing, or slow, or overly complex, or not complex enough. But it still deserves five stars. MORE THAN FIVE STARS. Immediately after finishing this review, I’ll be penning a handwritten letter to Goodreads to ask for a sixth star. Like a super-like, or what I imagine a super-like is as someone who doesn’t use Tinder and never will. I’M GETTING VERY DISTRACTED.
[image]
So in this book, it’s, like, fifty years in the future, or something. The world has gone to utter sh*t (not hard to believe, eh?) and in order to cope, the majority of people immerse themselves in a virtual-reality experience called the OASIS. It was invented by this guy, James Halliday, who just up and DIED and left the sickest technological scavenger hunt ever thought of behind. And the winner? Gets the company and TWO HUNDRED BILLION DOLLARS. It’s like the darkest, most futuristic version of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Though unfortunately fewer delicious descriptions of food. But still, I LOVED EVERY SECOND OF IT. I’ll try to cool it on the caps lock.
[image]
So...y’all know I love a good setting, and this one is just amazing. There’s something about immersive video games as a setting that I just am obsessed with. I read some book in middle school that was kind of similar and it was SO GREAT. For someone who doesn’t game at all I am very into reading about it.
God, I wish I didn’t have to leave this worldddddd. Give me 11 more books in it. Wait, the author has another book, right?! IS IT SIMILAR?!!! Oh man. Okay. Sorry, I’m still just very hype.
[image]
There was a lotttt of worldbuilding. Like, a LOT a lot. Pages and pages of it and a time. And the most information-heavy passages you can imagine. I didn’t mind it, because I was so flipping fascinated by this book that, if given some sort of magical opportunity I would have moved into it in a hot Texas minute, but still. It’s not exactly seamless.
So that could kind of slow down the plot a little, but again, I NEVER MINDED ONCE. It’s a little hard to settle in, because the book will be goddamn molasses for like 50 pages and then SUDDENLY BREAKNECK SPEED EVERYTHING IS HAPPENING PEOPLE COULD DIE YOU’D BETTER READ AS FAST AS YOUR EYES CAN SKITTER ACROSS THIS TEXT BABY and then that’d be over in a dozen pages and it’d be moreeee slownesssss. But I’d read Cline’s grocery lists if they were set in the OASIS, so IT’S ALL SUNSHINE OVER HERE.
[image]
In terms of characters, we have a handful of main ones. I really, really, really, super-love our narrator, Wade. He’s wicked smart and super nerdy and knows so much about everything. I would like to curl up inside of his head for forever, please and thanks. (Especially since his life is so goddamn interesting.)
I do have some complaints, though. It’s still me.
[image]
For example, Wade is the only character I really feel any sort of way about. Except for Halliday, who I love, but he doesn’t count. He’s dead. There’s also Aech (who is fine), Daito and Shoto, I think (who are also fine), and Art3mis, who sucks, but in a semi-harmless way.
Well, except for one thing. Yes, folks, you may have guessed it: This book includes a forced, uncomfortable, unnecessary, boring ROMANCE. (Boooooo! We hate you, unnecessary romance! shouts the crowd.)
This totally deducted from my enjoyment of the book - not enough to make me not love it, obviously, but significantly still - and I just was so MAD. Why did that have to be included? We get it, nerds deserve love too. Obviously. But does the odyssey of losing his V-card need to play such a big role in Wade’s story, when everything else going on is so goddamn interesting? Ugh. So vanilla, when everything about this book was the total opposite of that. Not chocolate, though. The analogy wouldn’t track, since vanilla > chocolate.
[image]
Anyway. What else, what else...Oh yeah. One last thing. The ending lowkey sucked in comparison to the rest of the book. It was kind of choppy and rushed. A lot of loose ends were left, IMO. It makes sense, kinda, since there were SO many ends to be tied, but still. It didn’t feel concluded. I have no sense of what happened to the characters or the world.
Also, I expected more of a Moral. Like, an Aesop’s-fables type. Because this book follows a dystopian society attempting to escape from the repercussions of, well, our irresponsible actions through a video game. IMO again, but that doesn’t feel like the sickest possible solution. A few times characters will point out that the OASIS isn’t ~really life~, but no real impact is made by the end. I don’t know. I expected more.
BUT I STILL ABSOLUTELY LOVED THIS BOOK. No book can be perfect, and this wasn’t, but I loved it so much. I miss reading it already.
Bottom line: I don’t care WHO you are, this book is sosososo fun and great and you should read it right now. Now, I say!...more
Okay, that’s a little bit of a lie. I know the most important thing I have to say. First and foremost: I’M IN LOVE WITH HENRY TILNEY.
SO FUNNY, smart, handsome, owns a cute house, and dare I say...surprisingly non bigoted?! He’s the best. But let me backtrack a bit.
Northanger Abbey is Austen’s satire, and she pokes fun at gothic horror books by having her heroine, Catherine, believe she’s essentially in one. AND SO MUCH GOOD COMES OUT OF THIS. The satire is hilarious - there’s one moment, for example, when what Catherine believes is a ~spooky, ghastly scroll~ is really a list of the contents of a linen closet.
But right when it’s about to stop being funny, and you’re getting just the teensiest bit annoyed at Catherine’s naïveté, it ends! She confesses to Henry, whose father she believes is a murderer, and he gently shoots her down while still being all, “I love you, girl.” It’s really great. AUSTEN IS A TALENT.
That’s the wonderful bit about this satire, IMO. I don’t alwayssss love literary satire, because it gives me secondhand-embarrassment cringes. But this is satire within another narrative - a more typical Austen storyline. So it’s funny and biting, while also being cute and happy and having adorable characters and a lovely ending! Talk about a TOTAL win-win, amiright?
There are also even MORE plus sides to this. Austen makes a lot of sweeping generalizations about “heroines” and plots and books, and they are all hysterically funny and insanely accurate. She also writes a few amazing defenses of fiction - isn’t that wild? While we’re out here with people trying to make others feel bad for liking YA, our brethren in Austen’s lifetime couldn’t even read novels without judgment. Call me crazy, but I’d rather someone insult my intellect for having read Sarah J. Maas than have to read 19th century TEXTBOOKS in order to be considered ~marriage material~. Bleh. Total nightmare, no? Let’s count our blessings and chill the hell out for one freaking second.
But I digress. Let’s talk more about those characterssss. They are, in turn, perfectly hate-able and lovable. Hang on. I’ll explain.
When people are all, “She’s a villain I love to hate!” I seriously never understand. I don’t ever love hating characters. It makes reading unpleasant, usually, even villains. Like Levana from The Lunar Chronicles, or whatever. I just hated her. I didn’t enjoy hating her. She got on my nerves and I was displeased whenever she showed up.
But...Isabella and her brother in this book? Pretty hilarious. They’re super annoying - Isabella uses people, is self-obsessed, and lies all the time; her brother is a total self-serving asshole. But when sweet lil Catherine is utterly ignorant to their flaws? It’s really funny. The way Isabella’s dialogue is written in particular made me laugh a lot, genuinely. Do people actually laugh out loud while reading on the reg?
But also there are characters who are so intensely lovable! (Especially my husband.) Catherine, for one thing. She could be a little irritating, because she’s SO immature sometimes, but she’s just, like, a good person to her core who is so kind to those around her. You can’t hate her. At least I couldn’t, and I hate most characters.
But let’s talk more about bae. You can’t see me, but I actually just turned into a heart eyes emoji from the neck up. Henry Tilney is a charmer from the SECOND he shows up. The banter he has with Catherine...unreal. Austen outdoes herself. Now I wanna reread their meeting scene. Ugh.
And ultimately, this is just a bananas well-written book. A real masterpiece. Some of Austen’s most famous quotes are from this book, and it totally makes sense why. Here are a couple fresh examples:
“The person, be it gentleman or lady, who has not pleasure in a good novel, must be intolerably stupid.” “There is nothing I would not do for those who are really my friends. I have no notion of loving people by halves, it is not my nature.”
See what I mean? I just read this book and I already wanna pick it up again.
Bottom line: Charming characters, hilarity, biting satire, gorgeous quotes...It’s Austen at her best. But when isn’t she at her best?...more
this has been another installment of project 5 star, an ill-advised undertaking in which i reread books i at one time loved in order to test a) my affthis has been another installment of project 5 star, an ill-advised undertaking in which i reread books i at one time loved in order to test a) my affections and b) presumably my will to live.
this was a particularly nerve-wracking one, seeing as i do not remember anything about this book, least of all why i five starred it.
life does contain its pleasant surprises. allegedly. so i was ready. in a way. and this was fun! very fun.
but not a five star read.
it was fun (how many times can i say that), and cool and eerie, but it wasn't as fun or as cool or as eerie as coraline. this won't stay with me as long, sadly, and i think the lack of memorableness of character and story (although not setting) is what took this down from 5 to 3.5.
it must have hit me at quite a particular moment, back in 2017!
or maybe i just used to have a soul.
hard to imagine.
bottom line: a good time, but not a perfect world-changing memorable beloved 5 star time.
I just managed to get through a book - a whole freaking book - with no blatant sexism, racism, homophobia, girl-on-girl hate, instances of the beloved not like other girls trope, love triangles, flat characters, overused archetypes, that plotline where you discover your power and it’s consuming you, gag-worthy romance, weird writing quirks, overwrought emotion, social issues used to make it seem ~profound~, apocalyptically bad characters, or plot slowness. In the year of our Lord two thousand and seventeen.
I’m in shock. I have gotten so freaking used to hating books - and it’s not even that I choose to! It’s just...what are the chances of a book not containing one of those things? If you take my 2017 reading challenge so far as your not-so-random sample (I'm in a stat class, can you tell?), the chance is 2/36. Because out of the 36 books I’ve read this year, this is only the second I’ve given five stars. So I guess I’m really covering my bases on the negatives. No one can call me problematic, baby!
But anyway, there’s good news in that paragraph of sad - besides just how woke I am. The good news is that this book is essentially perfect. According to my tried-and-true method - the one that skyrocketed me to fame, you guys - The Graveyard Book just full on rocks in every category. So let’s go through those categories!
First, the setting. (If you somehow have managed to see this review without seeing my Caraval review, 1) congrats and 2) I’ve declared settings to be my favorite thing.) This book takes places in a motherf*cking graveyard, baby. (Let me know when I’ve said baby too many times. Oh, it already happened? Yeah, fair.) Anyway, graveyards are cool as hell. Setting a book there? Specifically in one with thousands of years of history and a historic monument on the grounds? Even cooler.
And you know what graveyards mean, guys. Ghosts. YES, I AM INTERESTED IN A BOOK THAT CENTERS ON GHOSTS. ANY BOOK. GIVE ME ANY GHOST BOOK. But especially one that starts off with a ghastly death. (That’s not a spoiler. It’s literally the beginning of the book.) Anyway, this is everything I love combined.
So, as I mentioned with an excess of enthusiasm a second ago, almost every character in this book is a ghost. Or at the very least, the type of creepy little thing that spends most of its time in a graveyard. (A handful of human characters who are probably Tim Burton fans included. It seems like Tim Burton fans would force themselves to hang out in graveyards just for the aesthetic. You feel me?) Anyway, it should go without saying that the characters are great. They’re graveyard inhabitants.
This book also has a little bit of magic in it. MAGIC, I SAY! A very cool kind of magic. It gives you a hint of the creeps when it happens. I’m not going to say any more than that! Read to find out, as my elementary school librarian would say.
Other than that...this book is bananas well written. An absolute pleasure to pick up. The title is great. (More books should just be named The Subject Thing. Like The LEGO Movie. That was a successful film. Take a hint.) Also fast-paced. Made me feel emotions. (A truly rare occurrence.) Cute ending. What more can I say?
Bottom line: READ THIS BOOK. READ IT READ IT READ IT. I never like anything and I loved this. (hide spoiler)]...more
Reminder that all of my Harry Potter reviews contain unmarked spoilers, and lots of ’em. If you’re one of the two people on Goodreads who hasn’t read Reminder that all of my Harry Potter reviews contain unmarked spoilers, and lots of ’em. If you’re one of the two people on Goodreads who hasn’t read this series, this review is not for you. So, my dear underside-of-a-rock-residing friends:
This review will be interesting, because this book was far (far, far) from perfect, and yet I am utterly determined to give it 5 stars. (Which I have only given to the first book in this series.)
[image]
God, how do you talk about this book? It’s really amazing. It is really hard for me to feel anything while reading a book or generally living my life. For example, I felt nothing when Sirius died. Nothing throughout most of this series, actually. And nothing in this book, because nothing happened and everyone survived and everything is sunshiney and joyful!
[image]
Ugh. I tried. The last hundred-ish pages of this book really tore me apart. Okay, even that’s not true. I’ll just come out and say it: I’m really f*cking sad that Dumbledore died. I love him so much. He’s high up in my top 5 characters. (Do I even have a top 5?) I’m devastated, which makes me even more upset, because I have a life to live today and can’t just lay around and wallow in fictional pain.
[image]
I’m going to move on in the hopes that I just. Forget. Because I don’t like this at ALL.
[image]
Here, we see Harry Potter - who, I think few will argue, has been a fairly mediocre character up to this point - become AMAZING. He’s motivated solely by his need to work against injustice and evil. He realizes his parents’ legacy within himself. He denounces the sucking up of others. He works hard in school! He is a good friend even when his two BFFS are being childish to one another plus refusing to believe him. In short, he’s really, really, five-star-level great here. Gorgeous character development in 650 pages.
[image]
I didn’t think I liked Ginny much, because I didn’t remember this book well...like, at all. But she is so great! So funny. I wish there was more of her in this book.
[image]
Also, I’ll fight anyone who says Dumbledore is ~the real villain~ of this series. He’s really not. (Cough, Snape is, cough.) AND YOU'RE NOT EDGY, PEOPLE WHO HATE DUMBLEDORE BUT LOVE SNAPE. YOU'RE JUST DUMB. I fell deeply in love with the guy. (Dumbledore, not Snape. BLEH.) AND I F*CKING MISS HIM. Goddamn it. Trying to forget didn’t last very long. Anyway.
[image]
I missed Hermione and Neville. Hermione was absolutely not well-represented here at all. Maybe it’s a good thing she’s not a Ravenclaw (#RavenclawPride) because she works fully against logic throughout this book. And when she’s not she just, like, refuses to believe Harry.
[image]
Ron is soooooooooo annoying! Is he anyone’s favorite character? He’s like, Fred or George if one of them was totally childish and attention-starved and mean. In fact, Ronald is a pretty impressive character for the number of gross character traits he embodies despite being supposed to be a good character. Mean, immature, rude, jealous, definition of an inferiority complex. Bleh.
[image]
Harry and Ginny I’m totally for, BUT THE OTHER RELATIONSHIPS IN THIS BOOK ARE SO BORING. Can we do Hermione and Fred instead? Ron and Luna would be cute. Or, God forbid, some LGBT representation? WE KNOW YOU’RE A SUPPORTER, JOANNE. Don’t even get me started on Lupin and Tonks.
[image]
Speaking of supposedly-good characters’ downfalls: I’m no longer a Hagrid fan. It started with the last book and came fully around here. Like, at a certain point, the man needs a character trait. Liking weird animals, making bad food, and being humongous don’t count. Harry and Hermione’s constant stubbornness is annoying. Plus makes the plot repetitive once in a while. Also, Tonks. You know what, I guess I AM going to get started on Lupin and Tonks! She was a hilarious badass in the last book, totally depressed and weak in this one. I know I sound like a total emotionless asshole here, but that’s who I am, and she’s annoying in this book. AND IT’S TOTALLY FINE BECAUSE SHE’S JUST BEING A SPINELESS IDIOT OVER SOME DUMB SHABBY MAN. Kill me, please. Then I can see my beloved Dumbledore again.
[image]
Too much Snape. (Cannot WAIT to write the rant on him.) Too much Draco. (Why do people romanticize that little weirdo so much? I guess I get the temptation, but he’s a bully at best and a spineless traitor at worst.) I hate Kreacher and I hate Dobby...I hated Winky, too...I might hate house elves. If that makes me racist against a species of fictional character, SO BE IT, I GUESS.
[image]
I miss Fred and George, and the fun people from the Order (if they existed), and Hermione and Neville aren’t here nearly enough. The price of Harry’s amazing and concise character development is WAY too many bad characters, not nearly enough of the good ones. EXCEPT DUMBLEDORE. UGHHHH. I’M SO SAD. (I think my inability to cry is making this worse. Maybe if I just creepily sobbed in front of my roommate for a few minutes I’d feel better. Damn you, my lack of emotions! Just kidding love you.)
[image]
But I want to give this book five stars more than anything. It was so compulsively readable, more than any other book since the first for me. And it’s the last book where our pals are attending Hogwarts. That makes me so sad. It’s such a gorgeous setting and I’m going to miss it so much. WHY IS THIS BOOK SO SAD?! If Deathly Hallows is any sadder I’ll be seriously impressed. And also seriously screwed.
[image]
And, okay, even though I was a harsh critic of these books...I’m really going to miss this series. I’ve been rereading it on and off (obviously) for three months, and it’s been a fun ride. This is one of the greatest settings of all time. And since I’m rereading it after 10 years, it’s like saying goodbye twice. AND I HATE ENDINGS.
[image]
Bottom line: Okay, THIS is my favorite Harry Potter book. (Anyone else’s?) Unreal character development + tragic and lovely adieu to a gorgeous setting + ability to make me feel real, deep emotion + compulsively readable? An absolute dream.
----------ORIGINAL REVIEW---------------
Ron and Hermione's will-they-won't-they is a total snoozefest. I propose Fred & Hermione and Ron & Luna instead. Also seven more books!
Loading...
