I was one of the readers that loved the first volume, so I was excited to get my hands on this one. Unfortunately, it didn't really impress m2.5 stars
I was one of the readers that loved the first volume, so I was excited to get my hands on this one. Unfortunately, it didn't really impress me.
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Tony getting his personality rewritten into a more douchey version of himself wasn't (to me) a bad thing. I like seeing characters take on their worst traits...for a while. I do expect it to get fixed eventually, though. Sadly, it looks like Secret Wars is hijacking this storyline from here on out, so this seemed like a rushed jumble of unformed ideas.
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Maybe this is how it was supposed to go down, but it felt very unfinished (again, to me). For example, the entire Daredevil storyline just...disappeared. This was all about Pepper and an old version of Tony (a downloaded personality...roll with it) trying to stop Evil/Amoral Tony.
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Midway through, I could just kind of feel everything slipping off the rails, and sliding into phone-it-in territory. It was as though Taylor just said...Awww, fuck it. None of this is going to matter in a few months anyway. So, it went the way of every generic plotline ever written.
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I'm not saying it's the worst thing I've ever read, but I felt let down and disappointed by the lackluster finale. shrugs Meh. I guess it's just another title that's been bulldozed by Major Crossover Events. *frowns* I'm so used to it, that I'm barely even upset when I see this sort of thing anymore. Ha. How sad is that?
You have to read this creepy little book! Licha, thank you so much for introducing this little gem to me. A-MAZING!
So, I gathered 3 of my kids (ages 7,You have to read this creepy little book! Licha, thank you so much for introducing this little gem to me. A-MAZING!
So, I gathered 3 of my kids (ages 7, 10, & 12) around last night, and told them I wanted to get their opinion on a book. (view spoiler)[Would have loved to get the 15 year old's opinion, but he was busy sleeping off the previous night's video game marathon. (hide spoiler)] You can imagine their excitement when I pulled out a baby book titled Love You Forever. The room was practically buzzing with anticipation (<---not even a little bit). The cover looks totally innocuous. Which makes what's inside so fucking freaktastic!
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So the story opens with this mom rocking her baby and singing this little song... I'll love you forever. I'll like you for always, As long as I'm living my baby you'll be.
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My 7 year old girl is now snuggling in for what she thinks will be a good story. My 10 year old daughter says Awww, and cuddles in on the other side. My 12 year old son raises an eyebrow, but still tucks his feet under him, and settles in on the couch.
The next page is the kid dumping shit in the toilet, and making a general mess while his mother says, This kid is driving me CRAZY! We could each relate to that scene in our own way. Because children are horrible. And messy.
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Dawwww. Ok. That first bit lulled us into a false sense of security because I turned the page and... JUMP SCARE!
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Every one of my kids jolted at this picture. The 10 year old: *scream/squeal* Oh my God! Like, what's she doing?! Only, you have to imagine that she sounds like a Valley Girl with a southern accent. Because she does, and it makes everything she says 10x more hilarious.
This woman scuttled across the kid's floor once he was asleep, eyeballed him all weird like, then picked him up, rocked him, and sang her freaky song! Bitch, nobody picks up an already-sleeping baby. You check to make sure they're still breathing, thank your lucky fucking stars that you have a few hours to yourself, and then quietly back the hell out of the room. What you don't do is introduce noise and motion. Ever.
Up next, the boy is 9 years old! He's up to all sorts of 9 year old shenanigans...like not wanting to take a bath...and he's still driving his mom crazy. Like children do. But every night, mom still crawls across his floor and looks up over the side of his bed to see if he's really asleep. And, if he is, she rocks him and sings the song. The question of Why the fuck is she CRAWLING across his floor?! was a popular one in our house. Even my 7 year old knew that wasn't normal. My son was actually more concerned with why she felt the need to rock him without his knowing about it...
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On the next page, her son has become some sort of teenage Elvis impersonator. Because. Well, because that's what all the cool kids are doing these days.
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And while he might be a rascally young lad, his mamma still crawls into his room to rock him in her arms and croon to him each night. This picture caused yet another round of Ugh! Jeez! and What the...?! out of all of us. I mean, look at it! LOOK. AT. IT.
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Never. Never have I crawled on my belly like a soldier into my teenage son's room. And never have I attempted to pick up his massive frame and rock him on my lap. Asleep or not! First, because he's bigger than I am and he'd crush my legs. Second, I can't even imagine the upper body strength that sort of thing would require. Third, and I feel most importantly, I'm not a creeper. Now, that's not to say I'm not affectionate. I hug him. Lots!(view spoiler)[ <--mostly against his will b/c he's a teenager. (hide spoiler)] Just not while he's unconscious.
Well, on the next page this poor boy finally escapes. He grows up and moves across town.
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I swear, there was an audible sigh of relief from my son when we got to this page. You could see that he was actively rooting for this guy to get away from Mother Bates. My 7 year old had the scrunchy face look going on because she could tell something was not quite right with this woman, but she doesn't have enough life experience yet to pinpoint what it is. But my 10 year old really pegged it when she said, Ha! What's she gonna do...sneak across town to get him? And we all laughed! Nervously. Spoiler Alert! Across Town was apparently NOT far enough away! This crazy chick bungied a freaking ladder to the top of her car, and drove to his new place...at night.
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Sweet baby Jesus, save us!
If all the lights in her son's house were out, she opened his bedroom window, crawled across the floor, and looked up over the side of his bed.
I felt dirty just reading that out loud. *shudder*
If that great big man was really asleep she picked him up and rocked him back and forth, back and forth, back and forth.
Uuuuuuuugh!
And while she rocked him she sang: I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, As long as I'm living my baby you'll be.
The kids are all coming off the couch, gesturing wildly at the picture, and just freaking the fuck out in general, at this point. This woman has crossed the line BIG TIME. And even the 7 year old knew it.
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But wait! There's more! On the next page, the old lady is...old. She calls her son and says: You'd better come see me because I'm very old and sick. About damn time, I say. Anyway, when her son gets to her door, this lunatic starts in with her disturbing chant. I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always... <--My son inserts a gagging sound here because she can't finish due to being too old and sick. My children and I cackle. Loudly.
Aw, but don't worry, her son picks her up (instead of calling 911) and does his own rendition of the nightmarish song.
I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, As long as I'm living my Mommy you'll be.
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"OH MY GOD! He was awake every time she did that!" This was my 12 year old boy. He was (understandably) freaked out that her son knew the words to this frightening little ditty since the book specifically stated that Mommy made sure he was asleep each time she crept into his room to sing it. So, not only was the mom a lunatic, but the son was evidently cool with it. <--this was particularly worrisome to him. In his mind, no (normal) boy would find this sort of behavior endearing. And, I gotta agree with him. This shit might have flown up till he was 9, but beyond that? No. And especially not a teenage boy. Here's how that scenario would have gone down in real-life: Mom: *tiptoe...tiptoe* Son: Moooooom! Christ! Get out! Mom: *slinks back out* Son: *resumes trying to get around parental porn block on tablet*
Ok, ok. Last page! Again, you're sorta lulled into thinking that it's over because the old woman is (presumably) dead. But, no. The cycle continues. Oh, yes. Because, evidently, some woman was chill with this freaky old broad randomly sneaking into her home and cuddling with her husband. She was cool enough with it that she let this mamma's boy get her pregnant. So, now he's gonna do this dance with his daughter. I'll love you forever...
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*slams book shut, runs screaming from room*
Alright, now in this book's defense (and all the people who love it!), it's almost certainly not meant to be taken literally. It's meant to show how long a parent's love lasts. No matter what they do, no matter how old they get, your children will always be your babies. And, I admit, it's hard to watch mine grow up and not need me as much anymore. Will they still love me once I'm not an integral part of their everyday lives? What happens when it's not important that I sign their report cards, take them to friend's houses, and cook them dinner? What about once they're ready to move out? Will I be ready for it?! Hell no. But at least now I know I can threaten to strap a ladder to the top of my car and pay them a midnight visit if they don't routinely call me. Would I ever really do that? Probably not. Still, they owe me and I better hear from them on the regular. Why, you ask? Because this was our actual Christmas card one year.
This will be my 3d time reading this story, so I decided to check out the Absolute Rebirth from the library, instead of just Plain OldRebirth. So,This will be my 3d time reading this story, so I decided to check out the Absolute Rebirth from the library, instead of just Plain OldRebirth. So, what's the difference? Well, this one is taller. You know, like physically bigger than a normal volume? Part of me thought it was cool, and the other part of me felt like I do when I accidentally request the large print version of a book. Oh, shiiiiit. This is fuckin' huge! Still, it's different with graphic novels, because bigger actually is better. It's not like you're just staring at larger font after all. Another neat-o thing the Absolute had was a pretty little green ribbon attached to it for use as a bookmark. Classy! Ok, ok! You also get the story In Flight by Darwyn Cooke , which was a nice little shorty.
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There's the script for the first issue (or whatever) in the back, as well. I personally never ever, no never, read those. Boooooring. Why would I read the script of a comic book? I think it takes a special sort of fan to want to read through all of the notes and whatnot. To me, it's the equivalent of watching a movie again, only this time with the commentary from the actors or director on. I can't bring myself to care even a little bit about what was running through their heads when they shot a certain scene. Just like I can't bring myself to care about notations made to a comic script. Oh shit! I just flipped through it! There's not even any notations. Hahahaha! It's just a straight-up script. Like, word for word what's in the comic. Well, fuck that noise. That's just stupid. Right, Hal?
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Ok, now I know I make fun of Green Lantern comics all of the time, but this one was written when this title was still cool. Before there were 10 bjillion spin-off titles, endless crossover events, and a plethora of watered-down new characters. This was the GOOD stuff.
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Sometimes, I wonder why the hell I keep reading Green Lantern titles, and that's why I'm rereading this again. I needed something to remind me of why I fell in love with the Corps. Before the clusterfuck storylines that New 52 brought to the table, Hal Jordan was one of the best and most badass superheroes in the DC universe.
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Oh, and believe it or not, this is one of the few Green Lantern stories that makes Kyle seem like a true ass-kicker. Check this art out:
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The story? Well, even though it's called Rebirth, Hal wasn't dead. Not really anyway. After he turned evil, became Parallax, destroyed a bunch of shit, and then sacrificed himself to re-light the sun, his spirit bonded with the Spectre. For those of you who don't know, he's the Spirit of Vengeance, and supposedly works for God doling out justice to bad guys. <---accidentally typed gays instead of guys. Dude! If I hadn't caught that, somebody would have thought poor old Spectre was a homophobic religious figure. How weird would that be?! Anyway, Hal, Parallax, and Spectre are all having a 3 way.
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And, at this point in the game, nobody knows that Parallax is the entity of Fear. Not even Hal. Everyone thinks that Jordan just went crazy, or power-mad, or...something. And now he's trying to redeem himself by serving as Spectre's human form.
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So, the rest of the story is all about how the existence of Parallax comes to light, and Hal gets divorced from Spectre.
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The highlight of this story is definitely when Batman gets his ass handed to him. Ass. Handed. To. Him. First, by John Stewart, who calls him out for constantly railing on Hal.
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Seems like Batman's dislike of Jordan is a bit personal.
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Is it because Batman relies on people's Fear of him? Which means, to a man without fear, Batman wouldn't be the Dark Knight, would he? He'd just be...
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And then, finally, Hal spanks Bruce like a naughty schoolboy. Heh.
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Boo-yah! Suck it, Bats!
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Ok, ok. I'm done! Telling much more about the plot would likely ruin it for anyone who hasn't already read Rebirth, anyway. And you should read it! Highly recommended for anyone who wants to learn more about the Greatest Green Lantern....more
Nope, not even the kind who've been resurrected for vengeance. Sorry, Eric.
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So if it's not Spoiler Alert! There are no CROWS in this story.
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Nope, not even the kind who've been resurrected for vengeance. Sorry, Eric.
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So if it's not about crows, then what's this book about? Well, it's a fantasy/heist story with a magical backdrop! However, I didn't think this was like Ocean's Eleven or The Palace Job, because it was a bit darker than either of those. Not that this story was bleak, but the characters just weren't as quirky, fun, and lovable. Quirky, yes. Fun and lovable...not so much. At least, not to me. What I'm trying to say is don't go into this expecting a lighthearted romp.
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But I still really enjoyed it, and I came to care for each of the flawed individuals in this story. I started the book off feeling one way about everyone and ended with a different impression of each of them. Maybe I didn't love them, but I felt like I understood them enough to like them. To root for them to rise above their problems, and maybe become better people. Even find happiness?
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The group is made up of thieves, gangsters, assassins, con-men, fanatics, and one wannabe demolition man. So what brings this band of derelicts together? Well, to steal an impossibly powerful weapon, and the man who created it, from an impenetrable fortress in order to save the world from war and destruction. Oh, and make a shitload of money in the process. Naturally, there are no surprises, no one double-crosses them, and everything goes according to plan! Or maybe not...
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Ok, when I picked this up, I had no idea it was set in the same world as Bardugo's Grisha series. I was under the impression that this was an entirely new thing. I was aware of her other books, but having heard mixed reviews on them, I'd put off checking them out. So when I started reading Six of Crows, and the term Grisha came up I had a freak-out moment. Oh my God! Why does it say Six of Crows #1 if it has these Grisha people in it?! I'm going to have to quickly read the first series if I'm going to understand what the hell is going on, aren't I?! Whhhhhhhy didn't I think to ask someone anyone tell me?! Waaaaaah!
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Thankfully, I have some long-suffering friends on Goodreads who managed to calm me down and set my mind at ease. So. Here's the skinny on it for those of you who are wondering: This is set in that same world, but you DON'T have to read the other books to enjoy this one. There's good world building and enough explanations for newbies to dive right on in, without spending time scratching their heads over obscure references. That was my experience, anyway.
I've also heard through the grapevine that this is actually better than the original series. So, whether you read the Grisha stuff and didn't care for it, or you haven't read the other books at all, I'd still recommend this one if you're looking for a good YA fantasy with lots of twists and turns.
This popped up in my Marvel Unlimited account the other day, and I thought it might be cool to check out the prequeTHERE IS ONLY SECRET WARS...
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This popped up in my Marvel Unlimited account the other day, and I thought it might be cool to check out the prequel to Secret Wars # 1, which also happens to be the Free Comic Book Day offering. shrugs Eh. Not bad. It's a super short story, revolving around Valeria Richards explaining what's happening to the FF kids.
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It shows the spaceship that they're building, like some sort of Arc, to transport the Best and Brightest off this rock, and (I'm assuming) out of the way of the collision between multiverses?
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The second part is something that anime fans might enjoy, but that (sadly) meant next to nothing to me. A group called Titans are running around attacking downtown and the Avengers.
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That's it. I didn't get it, but I'm assuming it would be really cool to see this sort of mash-up, if I had any idea who/what they were.
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Whatever. It was a freebie, so all things considered, it wasn't bad at all....more
There's not much to this volume, is there? Still, the 3 issues of Thor were good, and the big reveal was quite dramatic.
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In the backgro3.5 stars
There's not much to this volume, is there? Still, the 3 issues of Thor were good, and the big reveal was quite dramatic.
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In the background, Malekith is plotting to take over every world connected to Yggdrasil, and Mr. Minotaur is plotting to strip them of their resources. TEAMWORK!
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But the majority of the story is Thor (the dude) trying to figure out the identity of Thor (the chick). I thought he was pretty decent about the whole thing. Last time around, he was a bit ragey and over-the-top, but now he seems to simply need to know to get some closure.
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By the last issue, he's checked everyone off his list except one person, and he's pretty sure he knows who is wielding Mjolnir. So, when the new Thor finds herself outnumbered and under attack from Odin's super-weapon, he and his mother use his Maybe She's Thor list to put together an army of warriors. Not-Lady-Thors to the rescue! {insert generic battle here}
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The battle and the scheming villains felt like a backdrop, and I believe the reason was because the only thing most of us cared about was finding out the answer to the Question. And I'm pretty sure Aaron knew that, too.
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So who's the new Thor?!
(view spoiler)[ Jane Foster, of course! Gosh, I can't believe you dummies didn't figure that out! *snorts*
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No, I'm kidding. I had no idea who it was, and wouldn't have pieced it together. Unfortunately, I wasn't surprised by the reveal, either. But I would have been! If I didn't get frustrated by MU's 6 month lag time, and read the spoilers a while back. *hangs head in shame*
I still don't really get why Jane won't accept treatment from magical healers for her cancer. Especially since it seems that the reason traditional medicine isn't working is because of magical reasons. She said there was always a price to be paid for using magic, but, you know, she's dying from wielding the hammer. So...yeah. Should balance itself out, right? (hide spoiler)]
More importantly, was it cool? Hmmm. Yes, I thought so. I wish it had been a bit longer, and maybe hadn't ended quite so abruptly, but you can't have everything.
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The Annual issue had 3 throwaway stories in it, and while they were't awful, they really weren't anything t write home about, either.
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According to Sesana's review there was also a classic Thor story included in this, but since I read this as single issues on Marvel Unlimited, I didn't see that one. Can't say I'm sorry I missed it, though, because she didn't seem all that impressed.
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Overall, I thought this was a great title, and waaaay better than I ever dreamed it would turn out. Hopefully, we'll continue to see more of this character in the future, but for now it looks like her story will continue in Thors: Battleworld....more
Twins: Freaky or Fun? Twelfth Night is Shakespeare's answer to that age-old question.
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While I was listening to this, I had no idea that Viola & STwins: Freaky or Fun? Twelfth Night is Shakespeare's answer to that age-old question.
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While I was listening to this, I had no idea that Viola & Sebastian were twins. As far as I knew, they were just siblings. But, apparently, they were (<--if I had read the blurb, I would have known this). And apparently, it was also easy to pass as a man 400 years ago! I guess if Gwen could do it (and still find time to write her ever-practical GOOP blog), then I could too!
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This is useful to know, in case I ever get that time machine in the basement working and then decide to travel back to the 1600s to trick another woman into falling in love with me. Otherwise, not quite as useful.
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Anyway. So what was this one about? Warning: Spoilers But, realistically, I probably didn't understand what actually happened in the play anyway, so everything in this review is more than likely wrong. Warning: Incorrect Spoilers
Ok, Viola & Sebastian went on a Carnival Cruise Vacation. It ended badly.As they typically do...
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Viola washes up on the shore of Illyria, thinking that her dear brother is lost at sea, and decides she needs to find a man!
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She makes a deal with a Sea Witch (view spoiler)[ disguised to look like the captain of the vessel that rescued her! [image]
(hide spoiler)], who turns her into a man, so she can infiltrate Prince Eric's Duke Orsino's household. She has 3 days to snag a kiss, or the spell will be broken! If that happens, the Sea Witch will plant her soul with all the rest of the poor bastards who made shitty impulsive deals! Kids, it's never a good idea to strike a bargain with someone who has the word WITCH prominently displayed in their name. Just sayin'.
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Right from the start, there are complications with Viola's plan. First off, the Duke is in love with someone else. HUGE problem. HUGE. Secondly, he wants her (now known as Cesario) to woo his lady-love for him. Yeah! Can you believe that shit? Hey, Olivia. Um, Orsino wants to know if you like him, or if you like him-like him? Unfortunately, girls don't like it when you send a representative. Grab your nuts and ask her out.
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But in Orsino's defense, Olivia had rebuffed his previous advances. A lot.
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Now, Olivia is very intelligent, because she knows Orsino can't possibly really love her - due to the fact that he doesn't know her very well. And at the same time, she's incredibly unintelligent, because she not only falls in love with Cesario after 5 minutes, but also fails to notice that the Dude Looks Like A Lady, and throws herself most unwelcomely at poor Viola.
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Meanwhile, there is a whole 'nother story happening with Olivia's Uncle Toby & his drinking buddy, Andrew (<--who also likes Olivia!). These two get together with Olivia's maid (and maybe someone else?) and decide to play a trick on a self-righteous guy named Malvolio, for calling them out on being obnoxious drunks. At least it was a harmless and tasteful prank. They just made Olivia (<--Malvalio also likes her!) think he might possibly be demon-possessed, and then threw him in a dark room and tormented him for days.
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Back to the love triangle! Cuz here's where things get weird. Remember how Viola's brother died? Surprise, he's alive! And in Illyria! And with the captain who saved him! Naturally, he thinks his sister drowned <--because it's hard to swim in a dress! So sad.
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But while he's out mourning, he runs into...wait for it...OLIVIA! And because her love runs so deep, she immediately mistakes him for his sister-in-drag and corners him to profess her undying love. She must be one hot piece of ass, because a few stolen moments with her, and Sebastian is head over heels in love. Then she proposes to him. Whoo-hoo! Feminism! Hundreds of years later, and we're almost there, ladies!
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Olivia (savvy lady that she is) seems to have kept a priest on standby just for this sort of occasion because 15 minutes later those two are saying their vows.
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Don't worry, I'm sure they are going to be very happy. Let's check in on Malvolio, shall we?
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Well, he seems fine! {insert more shenanigans here} Duke Orsino finds out that Olivia is in love with Cesario, and starts hauling him away to be killed. Viola/Cesario accepts her fate because she loves Orsino so much that she would rather DIE than cause him pain. If it were me, I'd vote for pain. Sorry, Orsino. Olivia, desperate to save her man, calls in the priest to attest that they are married. Which just confuses the hell out of Viola. But not for long! Because good old Uncle Toby comes running in with a story about getting his ass kicked by Cesario, followed quickly by the Imitation Cesario (aka Sebastian). At which point, everyone realizes that there are TWO Cesarios in the house. Damn! Shit just got real!
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It only takes several minutes of ridiculous questions for each of the (painfully stupid) Wonder Twins to realize that their sibling isn't dead. Your father had a mole? *gasp* My father had a mole!
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I know what you're thinking... How does Viola keep from becoming fertilizer in the Sea Witch's garden of shriveled souls? Good question, random person! It turns out, once Orsino realizes that A) Olivia is off the market and B) Cesario is a girl, he immediately transfers his undying love to her. Boom! Done! Happy Endings for everyone! Including Olivia's maid (and Punk'd accomplice), Maria, who gets married to the drunken prize, Toby.
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Oh, and don't worry about Malvolio. They eventually let him out. I mean, yeah, he's pretty much scarred for life and wanders away swearing to have his revenge, but I'm sure he'll get over it.
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It's a little-known fact that Twelfth Night wasn't Shakespeare's first choice for the name of this play. Originally, it was going to be called, How Stupid Can You Be? <--Read it on the internet. Must be true. Ok, maybe not. Regardless, this was a fun story, and I quite enjoyed it.
I listened to this one on a Playaway device, and I got to hear a full cast of characters, sound effects, and music. Definitely the way to go!...more
Whoa! I loved this! Honestly, I've never really given much thought to Danny Rand, so I'd also never given much thought to digging any deeper i4.5 stars
Whoa! I loved this! Honestly, I've never really given much thought to Danny Rand, so I'd also never given much thought to digging any deeper into his story. I knew that he was Luke Cage's buddy, and I knew that he karate chopped bad guys with his flamey hand-thing. The End.
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I have to say, when Jeff first suggested this one as a buddy read, I was kinda wondering if he was punking me...again. Then I looked at the credits for this sucker. Ed Brubaker, Matt Fraction, and David Aja. Let me say that again: Brubaker, Fraction, and Aja.
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Can I get a Hells Yes!? That is just about the BEST line-up you could ask for on any comic book. Sure, there are other great team-ups out there, but these guys are some of the consistently best at what they do in my opinion. At any rate, I was just sure this was going to be a great title. And I was RIGHT! These guys killed it!
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Like I said, I didn't know much about this character, but it really didn't matter. It was really easy to jump into this one with no prior knowledge, and just...GO. In fact, it's almost an origin story (of sorts), because you get a ton of information on how he became the Iron Fist, who his family was, how he inherited his bjillions of $$$, plus all the mystic kung fu shit that goes along with him.
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This is a long complex story, but in a nutshell? HYDRA + Evil Villain From Danny's Past + Kung Fu Tournament In Another Dimension + SECRETS + Previous Iron Fist + Heroes For Hire = BADASS
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The main storyline concludes around Issue #14, and you sort of enter an new chapter of Danny's life. He's tying up loose ends, and saying goodbye to old friends & partners... [image] And starting up new partnerships with old friends...
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Is it me, or is there something familiar about some of the guys in that panel? Huh. *shrugs* Anyway. Just when you think everything is about to come to a nice n tidy close, they hit you with the mother of all cliffhangers at the end.
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GAH! *flails wildly* Ok, I'm in for the next volume. Highly recommended!
Oh, I almost forgot! Another highlight was Danny's fight with the Cowgirl Hookers (<--Jeff's name for them, not mine). He stole the best image for his review, and bet me I couldn't find anything as awesome.
Alrighty. So *cough* this is a tad trippy, disjointed, and weird. But. I'm assuming that Hickman is building towards something big, and I'm willing to Alrighty. So *cough* this is a tad trippy, disjointed, and weird. But. I'm assuming that Hickman is building towards something big, and I'm willing to cut him some slack.
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I'm struggling to put into words what exactly happened here. Struggling, and failing. The yellow dude (above) has fucked with Earth and kinda made it sentient. Ish. This causes problems. And then there's this SuperFlow...thing? I don't know what it is, but it's dying/breaking down/being eaten...something! Again, this is bad.
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Besides that stuff, there are a couple of new beings that have been created recently. Their jobs are supposed to be to fight whatever is coming, but it appears that something went wrong in their programming. Except they aren't robots...so, I'm not sure (<--I'm not sure about anything in this comic, by the way!) if I'm explaining it right. Anyway, this young man (Star Brand?) gets bestowed with godlike powers, and while he's all naked and freaking out, the Avengers (for some odd reason) decide to attack him.
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Like, they are ALL total dicks. WTF?! Captain America was trying to talk calmly to him, and then all of a sudden they (somewhat randomly) decide they need to hit him with hammers & laser beams. The whole thing was ridiculous and VERY avoidable. Lots of eye-rolling and head shaking during this issue...
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There's an issue with Canada's Omega Flight, as well.
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I knew you Maple leaf bastards had nukes! It was, um, like everything else in this volume. The team runs into otherworldly problems, and...Trippy Things! What's happening?!
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Then Thor and Hyperion decide to teach these new beings/children how to be good, and recruit some of the other Avengers to help them with classes. Maybe Superior Spider-man isn't a good choice, though.
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Another storyline has a group of Avengers heading to Vegas to find out who is buying/selling a super-duper powerful weapon. Someone take the pliers away from Natasha, please!
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Ok, there's really nothing wrong with the actual stories, but it feels like you're only seeing snippets of a much bigger picture, and it's, quite frankly, pretty annoying. I have volume 3 on loan from my library, so I'm definitely going to read it, but beyond that I'm not sure. Oh, who am I kidding?! There's a ton of it on Marvel Unlimited, and I'll probably finish this out just to satisfy my curiosity. Anne = Sucker...more
I really wish this title could have been left alone (read: not hijacked by events) long enough to get some momentum of its own going. As it is, I'm soI really wish this title could have been left alone (read: not hijacked by events) long enough to get some momentum of its own going. As it is, I'm sort of disappointed, because I can see snippets of a great story under all of the Black Vortex stuff, but... Yeah, it's under the Black Vortex event.
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Which wouldn't actually be a problem if I knew where the rest of the goddamn story for Black Vortex was. I mean, I liked it, but what the fuck ended up happening?
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I'm so sick and tired of trying to chase these events down to find the conclusion. And, honestly, I'm even more sick of bitching about it. {insert generic rant about Marvel/DC events here}
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I love the bits with Kitty & Peter! How cute are those two? So cute! I mean, whodathunkit? Not me, that's for sure. In fact, I remember calling it a fun relationship that wouldn't last. Annnnnd now they're engaged... Proving once again, that you should never listen to anything I say.
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There's still enough humor and fun to sort of keep this title coasting along on auto pilot for a while longer. But it could be so much better than it currently is, if it was allowed to just be itself.
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Dear Marvel, Please, I'm begging you to put an end to these non-stop crossover events. I love comic books, and I love the characters. But you're sucking the joy out of my life with this stupidity! XXOO -Anne...more
These books are NEVER what I expect. Maybe that's why I'm not sick to death of this cast of characters, and their seemingly never ending journey? AnywayThese books are NEVER what I expect. Maybe that's why I'm not sick to death of this cast of characters, and their seemingly never ending journey? Anyway, what I expected was an epic battle between Negan and Rick.
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Warning: Spoilers I'll try to tag the biggest stuff, but no promises!
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So Negan has this totally Neganish plan to win against in the upcoming battle for supremacy: Taint the weapons. Yeah, dip the arrows, knives, and swords in zombie Walker goop, and every hit becomes lethal. I was honesty quite impressed.
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Now, this should have been a GASP! moment, but since you know that that dude with the iron-on face (view spoiler)[ You remember, Dwight? The one who is working with Rick from inside Negan's organization?
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(hide spoiler)] shot him, it just doesn't quite pack a punch. Still...Ack!
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But, like I said, at this point you're pretty confident that TWD isn't going to feature Rick leading the Group as a walker, you know? Besides, he swore vengeance for Glenn's death! I wanna see VENGEANCE! Oh! Oh! Oh! Here it comes! (view spoiler)[
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(hide spoiler)]
But then this happens! (view spoiler)[ The fuck!? How is he doing this with his throat cut?! Is he a MACHINE?!
Doesn't matter, because (view spoiler)[ even with his leg cracked like a crab, Rick still whups his ass, and before anything can escalate, Dwight takes control of the Saviors as their (<---benevolent? they don't show back up in this book, so I'm just assuming) new leader.
Heh. Ok, can't wait to see how this blows up in your face, buddy. (hide spoiler)]
I know what you're thinking. Something was wrong (besides the obvious!) with that picture. Very observant, my friend. Kirkman decided to Fast Forward a few years, and now everyone and everything looks a bit different!
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SURPRISE! <---That's what I'm talking about! Just when I think I've got the rhythm of this series down, Kirkman goes and shakes it all up on me. And it's not just the look that's changed. The characters themselves have changed. Remember Carl, the little sociopath? He's whittling unicorn statues for his friends!
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To be fair, you see a change in him towards the end of the battle with the Saviors. Instead of his normal psychotic rantings, he comforts a boy who just lost his father.
[image] I know! I know! The world is all upside down, now. But what about some of the others? Well, Maggie is the official leader of the people on the Hill, and we get a glimpse of baby Hershel... Dawwwww!
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This one is for those of you who like to play the tv show vs comics game with me... Anyone who watches the show remembers getting gut-punched by this, right?
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Well, not only is she still alive at this point int the books, but check out what a little badass Sophia has turned into! [image] Pretty cool, right? But what does Rick mean by this? (view spoiler)[ [image]
What?! What happened to Michonne? Did she go to live with Ezekiel at the Kingdom, or did something bad happen to her?! OMG! OMG! OMG! Don't leave me hangin' like that, Robert? (hide spoiler)]
So, what else has changed in the past few years? Ooooh! Now they have bread! Yum!
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Yeah, you're right...SKIP! Who gives a shit about bread, let's get to the good stuff. So what's next for our guys now that it looks like they are rebuilding a little chunk of society? First, we've got some new characters! And it looks like Magna is going to play the role of Jubliee (view spoiler)[<--as in, she asked the questions that new readers would ask about the X-men, and help them understand what had already happened in the past (hide spoiler)], so that we can maybe find out some of what's been happening during this time jump.
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I really like her so far! She wasn't afraid to question the Too Good To Be True feel of this community, and she wasn't stupid enough to get taken in by He Who Shall Not Be Named, either. (view spoiler)[ Oh shit! She's gonna open the door! [image] Bwahahaha! Yeah, IN YOUR FACE, Negan! Go back to your corner and crap in potty pot Rick gave you. [image] (hide spoiler)]
So, should she be questioning Rick & Co.? Ehhhhh...maybe? Rick has a rather extreme reaction to a guy who wasn't paying attention to his post, and I can't help but wonder if that was a foreshadowing of something rotten. At any rate, I'm curious to find out what's been going on for the past few years.
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But this wouldn't be a Walking Dead book if the dead weren't in it!
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Huh? The dead are whispering? Did I just read that? Or...maybe it's something else. (view spoiler)[
Oooooh! Interesting new chapter in TWD! Also, there will be SPOILERS. Still...
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So, not much of Rick in this one. And that's fine! He's b4.5 stars
Oooooh! Interesting new chapter in TWD! Also, there will be SPOILERS. Still...
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So, not much of Rick in this one. And that's fine! He's been replaced by the equally interesting Carl & Maggie. Plus a bit of Jesus... There can NEVER be too much Jesus.
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Ok, so Jesus runs into these Whisperers, and brings one back for questioning. shudder
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After he peels off the grody zombie skin they were using to blend in with the walkers, he finds out his captive is a teenage girl.
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A cute teenage girl.
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A cute teenage girl that Carl befriends. And by befriends, I mean she teaches him about the birds and bees. {insert 70's porn music here}
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But how do they end up becoming so close? Well, Carl ended up next to her in a cell for several hours, due to an altercation with some boys who were trying to hurt Sophie. <--These were the same boys that got their asses kicked by Sophie in the last volume, for trying to beat up/bully another kid. Yeah, so these little assholes were out for blood.
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Carl ran off, and poor Sophie thought she was done for...
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But...CARL. FUCK YEAH! CARL!
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In retrospect, he may have gone a bit overboard. Nah.
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No. No, you didn't kill them, Carl. But you did beat the ever-lovn' shit out of them, and their hillbilly parents are kinda pissed.
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Whatever, Mama June. Maggie doesn't give a shit what you and your trailer trash cronies think about the boy who saved her daughter's life. [image] BUT. Maggie does think Carl went too far, and maybe needs some therapy or something. In the meantime, she needs to keep him safe from those two redneck families. Annnnnd...now we're to the part where Carl is in the cell next to Lolita Lydia.
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Prison Pals are forever!<--I take no responsibility for the accuracy of that website. Also...no. Just don't. Anyway, Carl & Lydia become friends, bond over scars, and fall into a Romeo and Juliet sort of love. Which, historically, always turns out well! (view spoiler)[
Hahahahahaha! Ahahahhahaha! Ha! Hee-heee! snortsnortcoughsnort Bwahahahahahahahaha! wipes tear Heh...(hide spoiler)] Meanwhile, Maggie is dealing with the disgruntled losers in her community, who are being stirred into a frenzy by Gregory. Remember Gregory? The asshole that Maggie ousted in order to (accidentally) take over the role as Leader of her the Hilltop community? Yeah. Believe it or not, the dude still has delusions of grandeur. And he's willing to KILL Maggie to make his dreams come true. [image] Two problems with that plan: 1) JESUS! This dude really needs his own theme song, amirite?!
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2) He fucked up the poison...idiot.
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Shockingly, Maggie is pissed. I'm salivating right now! I just can't WAIT to find out what she does to this dickhead! However, that isn't the biggest problem! Nope. the BIGGEST problem is all of the Whisperers standing outside of the Hilltop communities gates. Guess who Lydia's mother is?
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Ewwwww! I mean, awwww! Er, so they are willing to trade the kid for several of Maggie's people. Easy decision, right? Well, Carl doesn't think so! Lydia has told him about a lot of rapey things that go on in that community, and he (rightly) isn't excited to see her head back into her mother's arms.
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But Lydia volunteers to leave, so there's not much he can do about it, right? [image] Or, you know, he could just take off on his own to rescue her...
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FUCK YEAH, CARL! sigh If I don't get my hands on the next volume soon, I'm going to explode. That last sentence is for my librarians.<--You know who you are, make it happen!...more
I kept hoping this title would get better, but it just never moved out of that mediocre spot (for me). I never felt any real connection to Natasha, anI kept hoping this title would get better, but it just never moved out of that mediocre spot (for me). I never felt any real connection to Natasha, and (worse) I never felt like Natasha had any real connections to anything. She just did what she did, because...she did it? I don't know. And besides that, this title was just depressing.
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I'm assuming that this was the last volume of this particular incarnation of the Black Widow, and next There is only Secret Wars... Whatever. I'm not sorry to see this sucker go, because I sort of hated seeing Natasha doing her I'm a sociopath pretending to be mopey shtick.
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I will miss the beautiful artwork, though. Seriously, I don't think I would have continued to slog through this gloomy title if it hadn't been for all the pretty pictures.
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But even with that fantastic art, this managed to stir only minimal amounts of FEELINGS! in my chest. Although I have to say, I loved seeing Natasha as Baby Widow.
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You wanna know what else I liked about this volume? I'm going to tell you, regardless of how you answer that, FYI. I liked that Black Widow was a badass. She didn't give up, didn't have a pity party, didn't take the easy route, and didn't make excuses for herself. [image] On the flip side? Do you remember how much you loved your best friend from childhood?
Warning: Spoilers! But who cares? It's a Green Lantern title. And not just any Lantern. Kyle.
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Guh. If you've been following his story, you know thWarning: Spoilers! But who cares? It's a Green Lantern title. And not just any Lantern. Kyle.
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Guh. If you've been following his story, you know that he is the lone White Lantern, and holds the Life Equation within himself. What is the Life Equation? It's a bunch of mumbo-jumbo leftover from the battle with Relic. You remember? The wall at the end of the universe, and... Yeah. Anyway, Kyle somehow absorbed all of this power, and has these reality altering powers.
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Right. So. That. Also, Carol Ferris and Kyle are a thing now. Which, just pisses me off, frankly. The idea that my least favorite Lantern somehow snaked Carol away from Hal makes me want to rage like a Hulk. It's gross! Stop it!
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Whatever. The first half of this is more of the Green Lantern/New Gods: Godhead story. Only, you know, broken up into a tiny chunk, so you don't actually see the conclusion. Rock on, DC!
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The basic story is that Kyle gets his widdle feelings hurt because the Blue Brigade lied to him. <--For his own protection, and probably because they realized he's too much of an idiot to be turned loose without a babysitter. Still. They lied. He got butthurt. So, what's the smartest thing to do when you realize that you've been played? Run headfirst into the arms of an insanely powerful being that you've never met before, and then give up all of your super-duper special powers to him! Duh. God! I hate you so much, Kyle! *strangle, strangle*
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Oh, I almost forgot! During this time, Kyle & Carol's relationship gets a bit rocky, because he had accidentally turned her into his dead girlfriend (Alex, of the Girl in the Fridge fame) when his reality-altering White ring got out of control. Admittedly, this may have led him to the decision to turn his ring over to Highfather. Still, it was a bonehead move. I mean, I am a villain - do not trust me vibes are practically wafting off of this guy in waves. No good guy...ever...poses like that.
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It doesn't really matter, though, because the story abruptly cuts off, and we're flung into the AFTER portion of the Godhead storyline. Great! Now we're moving on to the Oblivion portion of this volume. Who/what is Oblivion, you ask? Well, do any of you remember that Marvel character, Sentry? The one who was constantly fighting his alter-ego the Void? Yeah. Ok. That's Oblivion. He was created from Kyle's subconscious fears that he would become too powerful and kill/destroy/re-imagine/fix-without-permission everyone he loved. Kinda like what he did to Carol.
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The last few issues should have discussed how Carol was going to dump Kyle's wimpy ass, and make her way back to Hal. Or even stay single! Just...no more Carol & Kyle. *gags* But. That's not what happened. Nope, this is all about how everyone who loves Kyle (<--and apparently that still includes Carol!) comes together to help him fight his evil clone.
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It looks like in order to save everyone he loves, he'll have to sacrifice himself. YAY! But after facing his demons, and realizing that he can't do it by himself, he finds that the REAL solution is...TEAMWORK. {insert me throwing up here} As in, he (with the help of the blue guys) creates a new team of Lanterns.
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Annnnnnd now there is yet another Lantern Corps running around. Because we really needed that. And even though Carol & Kyle still aren't 100%, they fly off into the sunset anyway.
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*chants* Dump him, dump him, dump him...
Ok. So, why 3 stars if I hated it so much? Well, I think my hatred mostly comes from how much I dislike this character, and not because the writing was awful. If I were a fan of Kyle, I would have probably loved this. Maybe. Thing is, I don't know. And I don't want to turn anyone off of this volume, if they don't have the same prejudice against Lego Face as I do....more
If you're a completionist, I think you'll like this one. The New Gods want to control the Life Equation, because they believe that it 3.5 stars
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If you're a completionist, I think you'll like this one. The New Gods want to control the Life Equation, because they believe that it is the only weapon strong enough to stand up against Highfather's brother, Darkseid. Dum, dum, duuuuum.
However, you could just read volume 6 of the Green Lantern title, because (I think) it has enough of the story in that one to give you the gist of it.
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Like I said, there was very little in this one that I hadn't already seen, but seeing those few missing pieces, plus seeing them in some sort of order, was nice. Really nice.
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All together this makes a better story than it does when read in snippets...duh. But it's still not the best Lantern event I've ever read. And I think that's because there are just too many fucking Lantern titles right now. I know I've been complaining about that for a long time now, but it's still true. I love some of the new characters (Reds in particular), but I don't think each Lantern needs their own book. Maybe if DC didn't try to make their stories intersect so much, it might be fun? But with all of these events, it's just too chaotic.
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Anyhoo. If you want the entire Godhead event, this is your best bet.
If you're tired of seeing my Green Lantern reviews, there's a support group some of my friends have started. They meet every Wednesday at 7:30 behind the Waffle House dumpster.
Shit...Sorry, I originally reviewed the wrong book.
First half is the GL Corps (<--basically John Stewart) part in the New Gods thing.
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UnfortunatShit...Sorry, I originally reviewed the wrong book.
First half is the GL Corps (<--basically John Stewart) part in the New Gods thing.
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Unfortunately, you don't get the conclusion (of course!), so you'll have to hunt that part down separately. I've got Green Lantern/New Gods: Godhead sitting in front of me right now, and it looks like that is the compilation I've been looking for to finally get the complete story. I'll update this when I finish it, for the two of you who care.
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Anyway, the point I'm trying to make is that there isn't any point in the first half of this volume, because you're going to have to go hunt down the full story elsewhere. However, John getting a Star Sapphire ring does come into play in the last few issues...
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The second half is a pretty good self-contained GL story with John and some of the rookies (now full Green Lanterns) on a mission to one of the Lantern's home world.
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Looks like there's a new/ancientBig Threat on the horizon for the Green Lanterns. And while everything that happens in these issues will likely play into a larger storyline, it still had a beginning, middle, and end to it. Yes, please! May we have a few more tales like this?
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Also, this chick looks fucking scary!
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So, the last half felt like a comic book should, and the first half felt like DC bending me over...while making another grab for my wallet. Well, F-YOU, DC! I'm getting these from the library! Hahahahaha!...more
Not a bad addition to this run, as long as you keep in mind that this a a very kid-friendly comic book. Which is good, because sometimes you need to bNot a bad addition to this run, as long as you keep in mind that this a a very kid-friendly comic book. Which is good, because sometimes you need to be able to recommend something to parents of tweenagers, who are looking for something suitable. I know, I know! Comic books AREN'T for kids!
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Anyway, this volume (obviously) has the Axis tie-in, so you get to see Sam deal with the during/after effects of all of that mess.
He fights a Hulk during Axis...
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He fights Carnage after...
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And he deals with his helmet going on the fritz...
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I didn't think anything was wrong with this volume, but I guess I wasn't really super-excited about it, either. But it's still cute, and I'd recommend it to anyone looking for a clean comic with a likable teenage superhero....more
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