Marlon Wayans Tries to Keep Up With Carla

Hey guys! I'm Carla.

We're here in the Bon Appetit Test Kitchen

with Marlon Wayans. Yes.

Today we're gonna cook a dish together,

and we're gonna see if Marlon can keep up with me

through verbal instructions only.

I have a question.

Yes.

Is this a white dish, or is it a black dish?

It's a everybody brunch dish.

Eggs Benedict. That is not

something black people eat.

Have you ever had it?

No.

All right, 15 minutes on the clock.

You ready? All right, let's go.

All right.

This is, no, that's you.

(laughing)

All right, first thing we're gonna do,

we're gonna poach an egg.

A poached egg?

You're gonna poach two, but let's start with one.

Okay. Take your egg out.

Yeah. See that metal mesh thing

set over the bowl?

No, I don't.

Yes. Crack the egg

right into that.

Crack the shell, drop the egg in.

Okay.

Two yolks, or one?

Just do one right now.

Okay, now what?

Put it in All right, now stir

the hot water.

Stir the hot water with the yolk in it?

No, no, stir the hot water

With what? in the pan.

With the spoon.

Make a little tornado in your pan.

Okay. All right, stir.

Yes, yeah. And just roll that egg

right in there.

The whole thing?

The whole thing.

Okay. All right?

Do I break the yolk?

No, crack your second egg.

Same as the first, into that metal basket.

Okay.

Let the little watery stuff drain off.

And then roll it right into that hot water,

next to the other egg.

Okay. All right.

So, kind of like you're just, you know,

rocking a baby around in a nice warm bath.

I don't wash my kids.

Okay, well, then

Okay. you know.

It's been a long time since I washed a baby.

All right, cool.

Grab your gluten free muffin.

Okay. Take half of that butter,

and butter one side of your muffin.

Okay, half the butter.

Half the butter.

Oh, you're trying to give a brother a heart attack, huh?

Okay, I dropped...

Butter half the...

And now butter the other half.

With the same, with both,

See the saute pan, all the way to your

Yes. Okay, push those guys

in so the muffin is making contact with the saute pan.

Okay.

Leave those buns to go do their thing.

All right, so take the slotted spoon.

Okay. All right.

What was it called? Now we're gonna shock

the baby in the ice water.

Okay. Scoop up your egg

from underneath, and drop him in the ice bath.

And that's to stop the cooking.

Now get the other egg.

You should have nice, oval shaped, round eggs, with the...

What if my eggs don't look right?

Let's just keep going.

It's fine.

We're gonna slice some salmon.

Okay. You have a really

long, thin knife, and then kinda starting at

one corner of the fish, you're gonna slide the knife

just right underneath the surface of the flesh.

Take a nice, thin slice of salmon off the top

of that filet.

Okay.

Imagine the knife is almost perpendicular with

the cutting board. Okay.

Like a paper cut.

Like you're giving the salmon a paper cut.

Do you know what I mean?

No. All right, you want it

like, super thin.

Is that right?

They should be translucent. Okay.

So you have got your four slices?

I only have two so far.

All right, we gotta move the salmon out of the way.

We gotta move on. Okay.

Well I move it over to the side.

All right, cool. How are your muffins?

Just press that muffin into the pan.

Okay, yeah, press it into the thing.

Okay. You ready?

No, just give me one second.

I just gotta make a paper cut real fast.

Marlon. Yes, baby.

I know you wanna be perfect, but we gotta move on.

Okay, I'm moving on. Grab two eggs,

Okay, what's next? two raw eggs in the shell.

You're gonna crack the egg, and then pull the egg open.

Uh-huh. And now pour the egg

into your left hand, and let the whites drip down.

Ah, I don't know about that.

And then put the yolk, which should be a nice,

round looking yolk, Yeah.

and place it into your metal bowl.

Okay. And then do that again.

Crack the egg against the counter.

Let the white drip down.

Pour the yolk into your left hand,

pass it back and forth a couple times if you need to.

You gotta get that white stuff off.

And then at the end of that you should have

just an orb.

Is that what you have?

Uh, no.

What do you have?

I don't have that.

Okay, you should have a little bowl of lemon juice

on a tray.

So break your yolks, get 'em started a little.

That's the lemon juice.

Pour the lemon juice into the metal bowl

Yeah. with the egg yolks.

Yeah. And then use the whisk.

Yeah. So I should

be hearing this.

Okay. And when you see like,

a lot of bubbles, and it looks all like,

smooth and bright yellow, and bubbly.

Yeah. Okay, now you're gonna

set the bowl.

Listen, Marlon, you gotta listen.

I'm listening. Listen, all right.

So now whisking, you have to whisk the whole time.

Marlon? Yeah?

Can we whisk now?

I'm whisking, but real quietly.

Hold the bowl in your left hand, whisk

with your right hand.

Okay. More than that.

Like (whisking). Okay.

And now put that bowl on top of that saucepan.

On top of the boiling water.

Yes, just put the bowl on top.

Okay. I wanna hear that.

(clunk)

Great, now keep whisking, okay?

'Cause if you don't keep whisking, you're gonna

make scrambled eggs.

And then the whole thing is off.

Okay. How does yours look?

It looks like I melted the sun.

It looks like the spit on Cujo's mouth.

Okay, so now take it off.

Yeah. You should have

another saucepan that has a towel over it.

Yeah. Put your bowl in that.

That's gonna anchor your bowl so that you can whisk

with one hand, and you have your other hand free.

Okay, so you're whisking with your right hand.

And pick up that big measuring cup

filled with melted butter.

You know what? This is too much work.

I just crack an egg and fry it.

So then drop by drop, while whisking.

Start pouring the melted butter into those egg yolks.

One drop? Like, yeah,

one drop at a time.

And now that you have it going, you can start to

pour the butter faster.

So put all the butter in there?

Well, yeah.

Gradually.

You may wanna come look at mine.

I don't know what it is. Hmm, I'm not

allowed, is the thing.

All of it should be in there and it should look

creamy and smooth.

Okay.

And light, like a pale yellow color.

The color of a manila folder., okay.

Color of a what?

A manila folder.

Girl, I don't know what you hearing.

(laughing)

It doesn't matter as long as it tastes good.

So season it with salt.

Okay.

I like black pepper.

Yes. I like cayenne.

A little cayenne pepper; the red one.

Yes, where's the red one?

I don't have a red.

You should have a little bowl of red dust.

And then salt.

It's gotta have salt.

So rich and fatty.

If you don't salt it it's just gonna taste like

licking a stick of butter.

I'm gonna just grab my sauce.

You tell me if your sauce looks like this.

I can't see it. It should be pale yellow,

with little flecks of cayenne in it.

Just spoon some sauce up, and is that gonna pour?

That should be pouring really Oh, it's gonna

pour all right.

Give your sauce a taste.

And it should taste good.

So if it doesn't, put a little more salt in.

What does yours taste like, Marlon?

Butter. Butter, okay.

It is a very buttery sauce.

So, that's not that crazy.

Okay, so now go back with your slotted spoon.

Fish those eggies back out.

Put 'em back in the hot water. And this is it.

We're gonna take it to the plate.

The ice kinda messing is this up.

You got a dinner plate?

Buddy?

No. Do you have some

nice room around you?

You can work here?

Nice and clean like you go in somebody's house,

they have a nice, It ain't that clean.

clean kitchen; it makes you hungrier?

No, it's not that clean.

All right. Do I put it on

on the board? Find yourself some area.

Like maybe get rid of. Girl, on the board?

Yeah, sure.

Okay, it's on the board.

Okay, tell me when your muffins are on a plate.

Face up or face down?

Butter side up.

Two buttery sides.

Great. Okay.

Pick up some salmon.

Okay.

How many? And do like

a nice like, drape.

A what? Like a drape.

Like a ribbon that's like flowing through the air.

Like a beautiful pony tail just like...

And then what? Drape it on to

that butter side up.

Let it flow. Flow.

Make it look nice.

Just make it look nice.

Just don't want it flat, that's all.

Get the salmon on the muffin.

And then get the egg on the salmon.

I don't hear metal on metal.

It's making me very concerned.

All right, hold on. Yep.

Hold on girl, you're moving fast.

Oh, no, there's no holding on.

We gotta go. You gotta hold

on a second, girl. No, once that

egg is back in the hot water, there's not time now.

Oh boy. Now, take your egg

and just rest it on that beautiful smoked salmon.

Okay. Marlon, those eggs

should look like little beautiful eggs, you know?

They don't look like that, baby.

But they should look like little oval perfect eggs

with a nice soft.

They sliding all over the place.

(laughing)

Okay, all right, that's fine.

Okay, so take your sauce. Okay.

Yes. Take a nice big spoon now.

Yes. 'Cause this is it.

This is the hollandaise sauce.

Okay, it's this hollandaise sauce.

Hollandaise sauce.

So then you're gonna just

let it run. Okay, let it run.

Let it roll.

All over the egg.

All over that egg.

Oh, look at. Oh my God,

it looks so good.

Take it to your face, egg. And then do the other one.

This is why people eat brunch.

You don't have to use all your sauce, but like,

use the amount of sauce that feels indulgent.

Oh, thick and creamy.

It should be like a runny, luscious, yogurt.

It's runny.

Right, okay.

Good. All right, now what.

That's good, that sounds good.

All right, now look around on your station.

You should have a little bundle of herbs.

They look like grass.

Take the other knife, not the one you used for the fish.

Okay. But the other one.

Oh, they left me another one.

And then just try to slice those crosswise

like, real thin.

Crosswise, real thin.

What do you mean? Really thin.

Like sideways, and you go down on 'em.

Correct, you're making little green donuts.

And then you put those chives over the eggs

and the sauce, and the thing.

There's a salt on your station that's nice and coarse.

Okay, and put those over the chives on the...

Yep, chives go over your eggs and your sauce.

Are we good?

Yeah, we good.

Okay, Marlon.

Yes. I'll show you mine

if you show me yours.

Yeah, sure.

Count of three. Yeah.

Three, two, one.

Turn!

Oh! Yay!

Yeah, that looks nice. It's similar.

Nice! Pretty good, huh?

I never poached a egg before.

That egg is gorgeous.

Yeah, that one is not.

I'm a come over here and I'm a put this

All right, cool, cool, cool over here,

but don't rest assure I'm a get some of my sauce

onto this. Oh, thank you!

Yeah. I see.

So this is me. So you're gonna take

that guy, got it.

This one though...

Wait 'til you taste the seasoning, though.

That's where you're gonna be like, yo.

You got the beautiful runny yolk.

Yeah. In that poached egg.

Like, solid, perfect.

It's really buttery.

(laughing)

You want it, all right,

buttery, huh. It's buttery.

Mmm. But,

although it's buttery, it's seasoned well.

And that a little thick.

I will give you that.

Thank you.

I'm proud of you.

You did amazing.

The seasoning is good. You really did.

Yeah, I'm gonna start having more brunch.

(laughing)

Brothers, eat brunch. I wish I had

a Bloody Mary or Mimosa. Oh, we need one.

You got one? Right.

Let's drink it, I'm down We can make that happen.

Come back any time.

Dude, I'm having another bite, 'cause it's like, kinda good.

Yours is good. Thank you.