May 27, 2024
This book wrecked me in the best possible way. In Here After, Amy Lin writes about her husband’s death at the tragic age of 32, their relationship before and her journey into grief afterward. She captures scenes and emotions so well, writing about the moments she and Kurtis shared together throughout their relationship, to when she learned about his death, to the pain-ridden moments that comprised her existence following his passing. By page 29 I already felt sucker punched in the stomach and a couple of passages had already made me tear up. She writes in a short vignette style and her ability to render specific memories of their relationship, like little slices of conversation, tore my heart up. Some may describe her writing as choppy though I think it worked in this memoir and represented the consciousness of someone going through an awful, raw, real tragedy. She depicted Kurtis’s loving and larger-than-life personality so well; I felt like I got a real sense of him as a person.
One of my favorite elements of this memoir was how Lin asserted her right to be sad. With grief, sometimes the aftermath is just horrible and painful and morose. You don’t need to try to make it happy or put a positive spin on it. A tragedy can be a tragedy and it’s important to make space for those feelings.
I also appreciated Lin’s honesty throughout Here After. I liked her candid self-characterization as the more prickly or “petty” romantic partner compared to Kurtis. She writes about her own insecurities in their relationship and how she feared him leaving her, which I think takes guts to put on the page. She’s real about many parts of the grieving process, such as how after Kurtis’s death she spent time with one of his closest friends, and then this friend ghosted her with no explanation.
In sum, I absolutely loved this. Reading Here After, I felt immersed in Lin’s emotional landscape while also feeling compassion for the tragedies and losses I’ve experienced in my own life. Great representation of an Asian couple though of course it's so freaking tragic. A stunner of a debut.
One of my favorite elements of this memoir was how Lin asserted her right to be sad. With grief, sometimes the aftermath is just horrible and painful and morose. You don’t need to try to make it happy or put a positive spin on it. A tragedy can be a tragedy and it’s important to make space for those feelings.
I also appreciated Lin’s honesty throughout Here After. I liked her candid self-characterization as the more prickly or “petty” romantic partner compared to Kurtis. She writes about her own insecurities in their relationship and how she feared him leaving her, which I think takes guts to put on the page. She’s real about many parts of the grieving process, such as how after Kurtis’s death she spent time with one of his closest friends, and then this friend ghosted her with no explanation.
In sum, I absolutely loved this. Reading Here After, I felt immersed in Lin’s emotional landscape while also feeling compassion for the tragedies and losses I’ve experienced in my own life. Great representation of an Asian couple though of course it's so freaking tragic. A stunner of a debut.
