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13 years olds and no-secco

87 replies

troppibambini6 · 05/02/2024 10:45

Dd (13) went to a birthday party on Saturday night for a girl she's friends with in her year (8) at school.
There was about 13 girls there and the mum was there too.
I picked her up about 9.30 and she told me the mum had got some alcohol free Prosecco for them. Dd said she had tried it but it was horrible so discreetly left it on the table.

It's been playing on my mind and just doesn't sit right with me giving children that young alcohol free Prosecco.

I'm the daughter of an alcoholic so sometimes things can be a little triggering for me so not sure if I'm being over the top.

Is it like like trying makeup out? Trying to look grown up maybe? I'm just not sure.

I have older teens who have been allowed to drink around us after around 16/17 so I'm not anti alcohol and drink myself.

What do you think I'm I just being stupid?

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mitogoshi · 05/02/2024 12:36

I'm not sure it's an issue, mine drank watered down wine, normandie cider (2%) and mocktails younger than that and are well adjusted young adults now, one barely drinks the other drinks more but not to excess. I've not got alcoholics in my family though

mitogoshi · 05/02/2024 12:42

I also admit by 13 we were drinking at parties, by 14 going to night clubs ... the past was quite different in my experience

steppemum · 05/02/2024 12:50

when dd was 13, she went to a classmates party, family I had met a few times, and seemed nice and sensible. Party was just 6 of them for a sleepover.

The mum bought them all monsters for the party, and they were lacing them with rum.
I asked dd where the rum came from and she thought the parent had supplied that too.
They watched 18+ horror films on netflix all night long.

Parent also left them 100% unsupervised for the whole time.

I was furious.
unfortunately I didn't find this out until months afterwards when they had had a major falling out.

Teenage parties are notorious for this.
It is the point at which you have to start trusting your dd to make choices when presented with bad options. And to know that the world won't end if they do have a few sips of something alcoholic.
In my case dd didn't like the taste so only had a few sips.

Love51 · 05/02/2024 12:51

My daughter is the archetypal mumsnet kid who at 12 only drinks water. My 10 year old won't drink anything fizzy. I wouldn't think anything of it if they were offered no-secco or mocktails. I'd equate it to Appletiser or similar. I wonder if the fact I'd be shocked if they accepted impacts my nonchalance about them being asked.

I fairly frequently offer them whatever I'm drinking and the only time I was concerned was when my 10yo thought the pop I'd been drinking a lot of on holiday was alcoholic, I'd have been half cut all holiday if it had!

RainbowZebraWarrior · 05/02/2024 12:52

Anyone else now getting ads on this page for gin, wine and the best corkscrews?

Modern day subliminal messaging.

13 years olds and no-secco

JacksonLambsEatIvy · 05/02/2024 12:57

Alcohol free fizzy ‘wine’ is basically shloer in a fancy bottle.

I really would not be bothered. DS2 (14) quite liked the M&S no alcohol stuff I got at Christmas.

There’s nothing wrong with nice, celebratory drinks. They never have to have alcohol in them. Normalising non-alcoholic options and positioning them as desirable is a good thing.

I also have an alcoholic parent (and had alcoholic grandparents too).

Kalevala · 05/02/2024 13:00

I get where you are coming from. I wouldn't want alcohol free drinks served to children that are meant to taste like the real thing. They don't taste nice unless you are an adult and normally drink them. Mocktails that are just the other ingredients minus the alcoholic drinks I'd be fine with, or fizzy apple or grape juice.

PoppingTomorrow · 05/02/2024 13:00

Comedycook · 05/02/2024 11:00

Even when you buy alcohol free in shops, you need to be over 18

Well apple juice, orange squash and milk are alcohol free. Surely you should need id to buy them then?

It's true - my local Tesco insisted on ID for non-alcoholic versions of beer, wine, spirits. The policy is about promoting about drinking culture not just the alcohol content (which is why there are rules about how you can advertise alcohol).

(I don't make the rules!)

ohtowinthelottery · 05/02/2024 13:03

As a young teenager I would have been given Schloer in a wine glass at dinner if my parents were drinking wine. Surely Nosecco is just the same. The fact I was drinking cider at friend's houses and parties largely seemed to escape them!!
I remember as I child frequently buying packets of those candy 'cigarettes' with the red tip. One of my parents smoked cigarettes at the time too. But I have never taken up smoking.

wintersgold · 05/02/2024 13:06

Wouldn't even be close to an issue for me. It's just a drink, no alcohol, what's the issue? A glass of (fake) prosecco is hardly encouraging alcohol culture, it's just a classic celebration drink that's all.

troppibambini6 · 05/02/2024 13:09

Thanks for all the advice. I'm definitely going to have a chat about parties and peer pressure etc ....

OP posts:

Zephyry · 05/02/2024 13:12

I think it is absolutely fine, alcohol needs to be demystified for teens and young adults. In reality at that age I was sneakily drinking booze so to me it is great the 13 year olds are genuinely pleased with no secco!!

TiptoeThroughTheToadstools · 05/02/2024 13:24

The over 18 in shops is a policy, not law. There is no age limit for drinking alcohol free beer/wine. My 13yo DS often has a couple of peroni zero at the weekend. In my mind it's a gentle introduction to beer, rather than him going out and getting rat arsed the first time he tries alcohol. This way he will be well in the practice of enjoying a couple of beers without feeling the need to binge.

Silvers11 · 05/02/2024 13:41

Comedycook · 05/02/2024 11:00

Even when you buy alcohol free in shops, you need to be over 18

Well apple juice, orange squash and milk are alcohol free. Surely you should need id to buy them then?

Actually LEGALLY if the volume is less than 0.5 Alcohol then it is NOT against the law for someone under 18 to purchase the drink

BUT Supermarkets have to be very careful or they can get into all sorts of trouble. So they play safe in checking for ID to be sure the customers aren't under 18. Can you imagine if they had to check every bottle to check whether it could be sold to under 18's or not? They can't be blamed for taking the view they do, to be honest

Comedycook · 05/02/2024 13:49

Oh interesting....I wonder if shops will sell mouthwash containing alcohol to under 18s?

Beautyofthedark · 05/02/2024 14:06

CorylusAgain · 05/02/2024 11:16

I think one of the biggest problems is making it a forbidden fruit. And then they romanticise it, it becomes and "grown up" item and are far more likely to overindulge when older

Despite lots of individual anecdotal accounts, the research doesn't bear this belief out. Early drinking is more likely to lead to problematic drinking.

This.

Research has shown that those who are introduced to alcohol younger are more likely to have problems with it later on.

Also the child of alcoholics and have been pretty much tea-total for the past decade. Some years I drink (one or two glasses) on maybe one or two occasions. So my children are not aware of alcohol as a regular thing. Drinking at home will never be normalised to them in the way that it was for me. I'm glad that alcohol seems to be petering out in the current teenaged generation and hope it remains that way for my DC's. I will obviously educate them on it in the same way as anything else, but I don't want them to see regular drinking as something that is normal.

My parents let me try 'a small glass' of wine as a tween and had no problems buying me alcopops for teenaged gatherings. I actually rebelled at first and didn't want to drink much as I hated their drinking so much, but went the other way at university and definitely had a bit of a problem in my 20s. But I thought it was okay as I 'didn't drink as much as them.'

Acatdance · 05/02/2024 14:13

My sister and I used to get given Shloer with Sunday dinner, even when we were quite small, while the adults drank my dad's home-made wine (made out of varying garden fruits such as rhubarb or gooseberries). This was in the 70s/80s - I don't think there were as many low/no alcohol drinks about in those days. I still think a glass of Shloer tastes quite nice (better than home-made rhubarb wine).

Aprichor · 05/02/2024 14:13

I feel a bit weird about it too. Appletise or schloer in a champagne glass i’d be fine with though.
A mocktail that was juice and grenadine would be fine. A mocktail made with 0% Gordon’s or similar not so much.

I’m not quite sure why I feel they are different but I do. Even more strange is the fact I’ve let my own children have an occasional small actually alcoholic drink at home from around that age (at Christmas for example). I don’t understand my own logic!

Smerpsmorp · 05/02/2024 14:25

Growlybear83 · 05/02/2024 11:09

My husband only drinks alcohol free or very low alcohol wine or beer now and it really irritates me when they have to do an ID check at the self checkouts for alcohol free drinks.

I wouldn't have a problem at all with 13 year olds being given alcohol free wine, as it's so revolting that it will only put them off drinking! But if it was Nozeco rather than another brand, it is only very low alcohol, not alcohol free (0.5% by volume) which some people may not be happy with. I used to let my daughter have an occasional alcoholic drink at that age, such as with Christmas lunch, but i would never have given anyone else's child any drink containing alcohol.

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Bread can have up to 1.9% alcohol so more alcohol than alcohol free drinks.

found it a very interesting fact.

so do other things...

ohtowinthelottery · 05/02/2024 14:49

Acatdance · 05/02/2024 14:13

My sister and I used to get given Shloer with Sunday dinner, even when we were quite small, while the adults drank my dad's home-made wine (made out of varying garden fruits such as rhubarb or gooseberries). This was in the 70s/80s - I don't think there were as many low/no alcohol drinks about in those days. I still think a glass of Shloer tastes quite nice (better than home-made rhubarb wine).

@Acatdance As children we could buy cans of lemonade shandy which was just badged as fizzy pop and was on the shelf next to the coke and lemonade. The alcohol content was, I believe , below 1% but nevertheless was easily available for children to buy.

themusingsofaninsomniac · 05/02/2024 14:53

Comedycook · 05/02/2024 11:02

I'm surprised how many people would be upset by this. What if they made and drank mocktails?

Yeah I'm confused. It's alcohol free.. is it really that much different to that Schloer drink or whatever it was called.. I grew up with the kids drinking that when the adults had wine.

I don't understand how having a fizzy alcohol free beverage that looks more fancy and grown up is a problem?

And most people by that age were dabbling with alcohol in secret so I'd say this was more sensible?

Acatdance · 05/02/2024 14:55

ohtowinthelottery · 05/02/2024 14:49

@Acatdance As children we could buy cans of lemonade shandy which was just badged as fizzy pop and was on the shelf next to the coke and lemonade. The alcohol content was, I believe , below 1% but nevertheless was easily available for children to buy.

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They used to sell cans of Panda shandy in our school canteen (mid 80s comprehensive school)! The alcohol content was tiny. The shandy was alongside cola, lemonade and orangeade - no one thought anything of it. We also had a health-and-safety defying Klix vending machine that would deliver tongue-scalding coffee for 7p a cup. Happy days!

ohtowinthelottery · 05/02/2024 15:00

@Acatdance I'd forgotten about those Klix vending machines. I burnt my tongue on the scalding hot chocolate many times! The powdered orange, lemon or blackcurrant was pretty vile though.

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VenusClapTrap · 05/02/2024 15:13

I think it’s a bit ick for 13 year olds to be pretending to drink booze. I feel the same way about seeing them tottering along in stilettos, full make up and stick on eye lashes though. Fortunately my own 13yo is a nerd and isn’t interested in any of this stuff yet.

troppibambini6 · 05/02/2024 15:14

@Aprichor see this is exactly the same for me and I can't understand why!

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