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Lit with Leigh's Reviews > What Lies in the Woods
What Lies in the Woods
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** I do not give audiobooks star ratings as I cannot analyze the prose **
Audiobook Rating: eye roll | Performance: struggle-fest for the male voices
Before I get snarky, I can definitely see why people like this one. It ticks a lot of thriller boxes: kids doing spooky stuff, creepy ass forest, small town with bum ass police, someone trying to run the FMC outta town, etc. If you know about The Slender Man stabbing, this one might give you a lil deja vu. I was surprised the author didn't mention this inspo... it's giving me Ashley Flowers with her Jon Benet Ramsay rip off. ANYWHO. ONTO THE SNARK.
*CACKLES LOUDLY* NAH BRUVVAAAAAA. I'm SO glad I didn't read this with my eyeballs. When Oscar said: "Oscar the grouch loves trash. I'm Oscar and you're trash" I audibly gasped. NO. NOOOOOO. NOOOOOOOO. WE AREN'T SERIOUS. Is he going to start rubbing his hands together like a cartoon villain next??? Anyways, let me get into this with some spoilies:
SPOILERS ALERT. SCROLL TO BOTTOM.
I absolutely DESPISE insta-love in thrillers, especially when it's between the supposedly super guarded paranoid FMC and a journalist/podcaster who most definitely will be milking you for a byline. In this case, the insta-love was more laughable due to the fact that Naomi had just broken up with her journalist bf, moaning that he used her stories to advance his career, but then cozies up with a TRUE CRIME PODCASTER??? That's unserious behaviour. So not only does Naomi decide that Ethan the true crime podcaster is THEE person to confess her darkest secrets to, she has sex with him IN HER CHILDHOOD BEDROOM AFTER SHE FINDS OUT HE WAS LYING TO HER LMAOOOO. AND THEN AFTER SHE YELLS AT HIM TO GTFO??? GIRL HE LITERALLY RAW DAWGED YOU AND CAME ON YOUR STOMACH AND NOW YOU WANNA ACT TOUGH???? PICK A LANE!!!
Some other whackadoodle moments:
❌Naomi's refusing to tell the FBI pertinent info because she wants to find Parsnip herself (Persephone).
❌Naomi carrying Parsnip's knuckle bone around in her pocket. That's normal.........
❌Three 11-year-olds finding a bedazzled skeleton and not saying a word to anyone about it. Yeah right. I'd be screaming about it from the top of a mountain.
❌Naomi's dad telling Ethan that she's a super slut and not to feel special if she bussed it open for him. Pardon WHAT??? LOL.
❌Naomi's dad accepting a cash payment from Liv's parents to 'make up' for the fact Liv stabbed his daughter 17 times. And then saying it would help Naomi go to school etc...????
SPOILERS DONE
If you're new to thrillers and not a picky wanker like me, you may enjoy this one.
Audiobook Rating: eye roll | Performance: struggle-fest for the male voices
Before I get snarky, I can definitely see why people like this one. It ticks a lot of thriller boxes: kids doing spooky stuff, creepy ass forest, small town with bum ass police, someone trying to run the FMC outta town, etc. If you know about The Slender Man stabbing, this one might give you a lil deja vu. I was surprised the author didn't mention this inspo... it's giving me Ashley Flowers with her Jon Benet Ramsay rip off. ANYWHO. ONTO THE SNARK.
*CACKLES LOUDLY* NAH BRUVVAAAAAA. I'm SO glad I didn't read this with my eyeballs. When Oscar said: "Oscar the grouch loves trash. I'm Oscar and you're trash" I audibly gasped. NO. NOOOOOO. NOOOOOOOO. WE AREN'T SERIOUS. Is he going to start rubbing his hands together like a cartoon villain next??? Anyways, let me get into this with some spoilies:
SPOILERS ALERT. SCROLL TO BOTTOM.
I absolutely DESPISE insta-love in thrillers, especially when it's between the supposedly super guarded paranoid FMC and a journalist/podcaster who most definitely will be milking you for a byline. In this case, the insta-love was more laughable due to the fact that Naomi had just broken up with her journalist bf, moaning that he used her stories to advance his career, but then cozies up with a TRUE CRIME PODCASTER??? That's unserious behaviour. So not only does Naomi decide that Ethan the true crime podcaster is THEE person to confess her darkest secrets to, she has sex with him IN HER CHILDHOOD BEDROOM AFTER SHE FINDS OUT HE WAS LYING TO HER LMAOOOO. AND THEN AFTER SHE YELLS AT HIM TO GTFO??? GIRL HE LITERALLY RAW DAWGED YOU AND CAME ON YOUR STOMACH AND NOW YOU WANNA ACT TOUGH???? PICK A LANE!!!
Some other whackadoodle moments:
❌Naomi's refusing to tell the FBI pertinent info because she wants to find Parsnip herself (Persephone).
❌Naomi carrying Parsnip's knuckle bone around in her pocket. That's normal.........
❌Three 11-year-olds finding a bedazzled skeleton and not saying a word to anyone about it. Yeah right. I'd be screaming about it from the top of a mountain.
❌Naomi's dad telling Ethan that she's a super slut and not to feel special if she bussed it open for him. Pardon WHAT??? LOL.
❌Naomi's dad accepting a cash payment from Liv's parents to 'make up' for the fact Liv stabbed his daughter 17 times. And then saying it would help Naomi go to school etc...????
SPOILERS DONE
If you're new to thrillers and not a picky wanker like me, you may enjoy this one.
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Reading Progress
July 15, 2023
–
Started Reading
July 15, 2023
– Shelved
July 15, 2023
–
18.0%
"IF THE BADDIE IS CODY IM GONNA DROP KICK MY PHONE OUT THE WINDOW!!!! *Earhole read*"
Finished Reading
July 17, 2023
– Shelved as:
read-audiobooks
Comments Showing 1-43 of 43 (43 new)
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Dorie - Cats&Books :)
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rated it 5 stars
Jul 16, 2023 09:14PM
I really liked this one and she has a new one coming out 🌺
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Evidently, I am not a picky wanker! 😄 I dislike most thrillers for rehashing the same nonsense in the name of thrills and twists, but this one was decent, and the audio was the great option.PS: Not sure how serious you were, but just in case... It was Persephone. Can't believe I still remember the name!
The section leading up to "Pick a lane" just sent me 😂😂 but I agree with you. I was expecting so much better from this book and it ended up being more disappointing than anything
Dorie - Cats&Books :) wrote: "I really liked this one and she has a new one coming out 🌺"yay! Hope you love her next one too 💖
Rosh wrote: "Evidently, I am not a picky wanker! 😄 I dislike most thrillers for rehashing the same nonsense in the name of thrills and twists, but this one was decent, and the audio was the great option.PS: N..."
LOL if anyone accuses you of being one, you can just point to this post 😜 Yes THANK YOU. I was too lazy to look for it. Appreciate it.
Sincenobodyasked__ wrote: "The section leading up to "Pick a lane" just sent me 😂😂 but I agree with you. I was expecting so much better from this book and it ended up being more disappointing than anything"Right?? Naomi needs to put her coochie on ice.
2 stars for me and that was VERY generous. This is the author's first adult book and it shows. Fair review Pink
JanB wrote: "2 stars for me and that was VERY generous. This is the author's first adult book and it shows. Fair review Pink"ok I forgot to add that to my review but yes I felt that the writing was more appropriate for a YA than an adult book.
Great review, Pink. Sorry it didn't work for you but I found your review very entertaining. 💕🤗
You write the most entertaining reviews Pink! ❤️🩹
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA 🤣🤣 I love this review thank you for your service 🩷🤣🩷
Entertaining review Pink. The book sounds dreadful!
I am glad I passed on this one! Great review! 💖
You’re generous because I wouldnt recommend this to anyone. I considered telling you to give up when you guessed the “twist” with the podcaster, I’m sorry you had to suffer 😭
Don't quite agree with you but loved reading your review, Pink!💕
Your reviews always make me laugh 😂 Great review, Pink!! 🩷
Thank you Shelley 🫶
Aww thanks Maureen 💖
Karly LOL I gotchu 🫡🫡
Carol it was something 😂
Aww thanks Jenni. Really appreciate it 💖
Jodi LOL I real life laughed when I realized I predicted 2/3 twists in the first quarter of the book 😂
Aww thanks Cassie. Appreciate it 😁
Great review. I love that part about audibly gasping. 😂 Hope the next one is better!
Alli I just couldn't believe she wrote that and not in a funny way she thought she was being creative 😂
I just can't ever get with creep kids. Creepy kids are worse than creepy adults. Def on the level of clowns.
I tried with my eyeballs, but was a dnf for moi!
Southern Lady Reads LOOOOOL I get it 😂
Marialyce oh for sure if I tried with my eyes I would've tossed it into a fire 😂
I couldn’t accept the fact that this was totally based on the Slender Man incident!! Totally ruined the whole book for me. Plus it read very juvenile. Great review as always- I was waiting for this!! 😁💗
Rachel wrote: "I couldn’t accept the fact that this was totally based on the Slender Man incident!! Totally ruined the whole book for me. Plus it read very juvenile. Great review as always- I was waiting for this..."Right!?! I did a cursory Google to see if she mentioned the inspo in a blog or something but nada... Lots of reddit threads of people pointing out the similarities though.
I hated this book and DNF it. It felt YA to me and the witch, fairy whatever the hell they were reminiscing about was silly
Nikki I totally agree
I just finished listening to this and I love your review. I'm still laughing at Parnsip!
Loling at the subtle review of All Good People Here 😅
I came back and noticed ‘Bedazzled skeleton’ 🤣🤣🤣🤣
This definitely summed up exactly how I felt.
I love your review. I listened too. I would’ve never finished if I had read this. I love thrillers, especially with a good twist. This was not that. I felt the author was trying to do a twist and maybe she would’ve succeeded if so many of the characters weren’t a suspect….and then not. It seemed like the “truth” finally dawned on Naomi several times. So much ridiculousness.
Omg.. I laughed out loud about your spoilers section. She was so unserious for real. I couldn’t stand that
