It's been a while since I read a work of erotic horror that pushed my limits like this, but still made me feel so compelled to continue. So this is what a mouse hypnotized by a serpent feels like. First, a word of warning: the trigger warnings are all the way in the very back and I missed them going in. This is very violent, and graphically so, including disfiguration and what I would consider body horror. One of the triggers, for example, is "destructive fisting."
Ehvy is a medical examiner who is on a tour of an old creepy mansion with friends, when she happens to meet one of the descendants of the house, Will Sandridge. His presence there intrigues her because not only is he incredibly attractive, and they have an instant connection, his family history is highly sordid. Sex parties and murdering of the townsfolk? Naughty, naughty. But Ehvy is very into naughty. She is also very into Will.
I don't want to say too much else but the story becomes a cat and mouse game of sorts between Will and Ehvy. Ehvy is determined to know more about the man who literally haunts her dreams, and Will is... well, eager to continue their relationship in a way that is frightening, once you see what else he gets up to in his free time. Until the very end, I was never 100% completely sure what endgame was.
People who like gothic horror, erotic horror, and vampires who actually act like vampires will enjoy this book. The writing was great, and stylistically, this feels very much in the vein (ha, vein) of authors like Clive Barker and Lucy Taylor. If you read this, expect bloodsplatter.
Thanks to the author for providing me with a copy!
That might be one of the easiest five star ratings I've ever given out, which is funny because I didn't think femdom was even my kink. Apparently it is. Look at me, learning something new about myself today. God, I LOVE THE INTERNET.
Kate works at a tech company owned by Russian billionaire Mikhail Volkov. One day, he tries to take a paper off her desk while she's on the phone. Not realizing who he is, she slaps his hand away and snaps at him. Then, she has one of the biggest "oh shit" moments of her life. When he calls her into his office, she thinks he's going to fire her. Instead, he tells her flat-out that he's a submissive who wants her to Dom him and that he really likes her style. Likes it about a $5000 a week amount, actually.
Sure, it's basically against all HR policies, but a girl's got bills to pay.
I loved PREFERENTIAL TREATMENT so much. I'm actually surprised how many people seemed to hate Kate (lmfao, jk, no I'm not) because she was the perfect inversion of the alpha with issues who has a heart of gold stereotype. Her upbringing and insecurity around money made her reluctance and attraction to this relationship totally understandable, and I liked how she took care never to push her hot Russian paypig too far (also the fact that she made him donate to charities to punish him? HILARIOUS).
Chemistry was off the charts, Mikhail was super hot, and it has one of the best grovel scenes ever. Covers everything from aftercare to discussions about expectations and feelings, and Kate was a super likable and lovable character with very relatable problems. What's not to like? I might have to buy this in physical because I adored it so much I want to have a copy with me always.
This book was absolutely insane, which makes me happy because that's exactly what I was hoping for. BRUTAL SERPENT is the story of Viscount St. Erth, who has very good reason to hate the Wendover family. He also has plans to get revenge on them, which involve marrying their only daughter and getting her pregnant. How does this revenge work, you might ask? Wait and see.
This is definitely more erotica than it is a romance because I would venture to say that the sex and the fantasy that it sells are more of a focus than the romance/relationship development. That's the case with most of this author's books, but one of the reason I like them is because the plots are so unique and the heroes are literally insane. St. Erth does many crazy things like threaten to feed his wife to pigs, take her to the doctor for leeches (for fertility!) and blood letting (also for fertility!), and shove a snake down her blouse to keep her from talking. Also, he puts her PERIOD BLOOD into his WINE.
I would love to vacation in Kate's mind for a day just to see what it's like to have all of these wildly unhinged ideas. While reading, I kept trying to figure out what BRUTAL SERPENT reminded me of, and then it hit me: 60s and 70s erotic pulp. There's a definite bodice-ripper vibe to this book, especially since the hero literally gives no fucks and never stops being evil.
Viscount Erth is probably my favorite chaos goblin after Je Sweet.
This is a second chance BDSM romance. The plot is fairly unique, I thought. Sarah and Reece were engaged, but then she found more than a ring in his bedroom drawer: she found a collar. That scared her enough that she ran away and cut all contact, but after years of missing him and not finding anyone to fill the void, she wants to meet up again, explain herself, and maybe win him back-- or at least get closure.
A mutual friend arranges their meeting and Reece is still angry. But even though he hates her a little, he's attracted to her, too, and is more than willing to use her body and whatever else she offers to get off during the weekend they're spending on a tropical getaway for a friend's birthday.
There's not a lot to say about this one. The plot is literally the smut. But it's pretty good smut and unlike some dark romances, this one is fully consensual and all about being safe and sane. I do think she went a little too hard on the banter and sometimes it felt a little forced, but I thought the story was great. Sarah was a great heroine too. People were being hard on her in the reviews but I have a soft spot for flighty heroines and thought her fears in this case were totally valid.
I'm kind of surprised this doesn't have way more reviews because it's so good. This is like the dark romance version of B.G. Harlen's BREAK HER, in the sense that it takes a Hannibal/Clarice dynamic and turns it into erotica, but whereas BREAK HER is just erotica (which borders on horror and torture porn), IN SESSION is more of a very dark and taboo erotic romance that examines its characters in psychological depth.
Avery is a psychiatrist who sometimes handles court-ordered patients. Her newest one is a man named Nash Wyatt, a convinced serial killer. He immediately starts pushing boundaries and trying to get into her head and Avery is a little alarmed at how she responds to him-- with disgust, yes, but also in ways that go beyond clinical fascination.
Even though this is a novella, it feels like slow-burn because not much happens until the end. It's so worth it, though. From the very beginning I was fascinated with these characters and had to know how the story would end. Some of the dirty talk wasn't my cup of tea (like when he tells princess to make her asshole "wink" lol), but 99% of it, I was toooootally on board with. If you're into books with CNC, this is right up there with WILLING VICTIM and ASKING FOR IT. I'd read anything else this author writes.
You've heard of the "gay for you" trope, now let me introduce you to the first "bi for you" I've ever read.
HER DRAG BARBARIAN is about a woman named Elowyn who is an archaeologist but has a dad who's into a business conflict/rep management type of business. He doesn't think Elowyn's future as an archaeologist is all that promising and has strongarmed her into taking on one of his clients: a drag business called Heavenly Lights.
Most of the problems-- sexual misconduct, hostile work environment, things involving fire-- are being caused by Je Sweet, the drag persona of a 6'4" French man named Beau, who is basically chaos in gaff tape and too-tight shorts.
Unfortunately for him, Elowyn is just as unhinged and psychotic as he is, and sees no problem threatening him with bodily harm or shoving his head into a table if it means keeping him from destroying the business that her very HONOR now dictates (or dicktates) that she save.
The comedy and banter in this book were honestly top-tier. I actually liked this book a lot more than THE CATCHER even though they had similar plots because it didn't feel like the heroine was as much of a victim and the breeding element made a little more sense here. I also liked that there was a little bit of a mystery, and how the pronouns of Je changed depending on whether or not she was in drag. Also, both the FMC and MMCs are chaotic bisexuals, which is a fun change in a genre where everyone tends to be so rigidly on one end of the Kinsey scale that it feels very y=mx+c y = m x + c m, if you know what I mean (did anyone else take Geometry? Lmfao).
The next time I see someone asking for a cozy non-con rec, I'm suggesting them this. Did I know that non-con could even be cozy before I read MOONSHINE SAVAGE? Nope. Surprise, surprise.
Saoirse is on her way to a librarian interview that ends up going nowhere when her car breaks down. She's almost assaulted by a bunch of gang members, but luckily she's rescued by a tall blonde backwoods god of a man named Jake. Not so luckily for her, he's absolutely unhinged, horny and feral AF, and determined to make her his wife whether or not she's amenable to that.
This feels like one of those 70s pulps but in a fun, non-cringe way. Mostly because the heroine gets some licks in of her own and because it's absolutely hilarious, the lengths Jake will go to make Saoirse his woman. $1 million dollar wedding rings and tattooing her car's license plate on his arm? There's nothing this crazy man won't do. He even buys her a BLT before ripping her underwear off. Such a gentleman.
I don't normally like breeding or sports romances, and even though this was both of those things, I really enjoyed it. The premise is great. Emrys is a PR agent turned art therapy teacher who is called in for one last big project: Tanner Courtenay is dragging his team down to the dirt with bad press due to poor conduct and criminal behavior. If she can redeem his image, she'll get the motherlode of all bonuses.
Tanner is one of the most unhinged heroes I've ever read. When he meets the heroine, he bashes out the lights with his emotional support baseball bat, covering her in broken glass. He literally has a business meeting with the heroine while he's getting blown by another woman; he gives zero shits. By the time he gets into a relationship of sorts with the heroine, he gets even crazier. He buys a microscope to see if she's ovulating (SCIENCE) and when he fucks up, he gets her some apology tortoises.
I understand that this is an erotic fantasy novella, so we're supposed to suspend our disbelief, but I was a little confused about why the hero suddenly got so into ~breeding~ and how/when the heroine fell in love with him. I love a toxic "I can fix him!" moment as much as the next girlie, but I wish there had been a little more development there. This was also marketed as being a grovel romance and it didn't really have a grovel. He was just a gloriously unapologetic asshole and she sort of went along with it, which is fine, but a totally different kink.
If you enjoy old skool Harlequin romance novels with brutal and crazy heroes, you will enjoy this book. Very similar vibe, but with a lot more sex. I'm probably going to hell for laughing at this as much as I did. Emrys is a soft and passive heroine but she manages to push back against Tanner in a way that was really satisfying, and I thought her name was so pretty.
Update: Bumping up to a full five stars because I can't stop thinking about this book.
This book was absolutely insane, like FLOWERS IN THE ATTIC meets Midsommar. I wasn't expecting to enjoy it as much as I did, because this is some of the most depraved shit I've read in a while. Without going into spoilers, THE ECLIPSE RITUAL is the story of Obedience and Ronan, and a society that oppresses women and forces them to be brides against their will if they are chosen.
I liked Obedience's gradual questioning of her faith. I thought it was really well done and appropriately terrifying. Any book where one of the bad guys gets a piece of his dick nailed to a wall is going to be pretty fucked up. I also liked that all of the characters were 18+ and that as psychotic as the hero was, he had his own internal logic that he was following to try to prove his twisted love to the heroine.
Kitty Thomas is one of my autobuy authors but I don't always love her work. BIG SKY is a tough book to rate because there were some things about it that I liked but it also has some really out-there kinks that I wasn't into and wasn't warned about, and the hero is kind of a jerk (and not in the usual morally black, "you are mine or else" way).
The book actually has a similar format to a Hallmark movie, hilariously enough. Veronica is a big city girl with a six figure job but she's being evicted from her home due to a mountain of credit card debt. At a diner, she sees this hot 6'5" cowboy who ends up offering a suspicious job at his "ranch" and Ronnie obviously says how about no, creep.
Mr. Cowboy thinks no is like Santa Claus: it doesn't exist. Not for him.
Spoiler: Ronnie ends up kidnapped and taken to the ranch anyway.
***WARNING: SPOILERS TO FOLLOW***
I have no problem with captivity romances when done well, which this one does, and Thomas is excellent at plunging into the psychology of the characters. But this book goes so much further than I was prepared for in a dark romance. It's basically like tradwife meets hucow. The heroine has to wear sundresses and be submissive to the hero in all ways, BUT he also brands her on her ass like his cows and then injects her with hormones so she lactates, and he and all his ranchers feed on her every morning and also there's a milking machine that, you know, doubles as a sex device.
Even that wasn't *too* much of a shock since I actually read a couple other hucow books for a dare, but the hero doesn't really seem all that into Ronnie. He's still in love with his ex-wife. He uses his ex-wife to guilt Ronnie into performing these humiliating acts "because his wife would have done it." Even by the end of the book, it doesn't really feel like a true HEA. That was really disappointing to me because in books like THE GAME MAKER and THE MONSTER KEEPS ME SAFE, which I loved, I bought those happy endings, even though they were fucked up. Because in those books, the hero did things for his woman that were exceptions he wouldn't grant anyone else. I so did not get that vibe here.
This was an interesting story and not a badly written one but it kind of left me feeling disappointed and sad.
THE MONSTER KEEPS ME SAFE was really good, and kind of wild. I don't actually want to say too much because part of the fun is going in cold and not having any idea what the fuck is happening. This book was originally titled Tabula Rasa and apparently the author added in the prologue and the epilogue. I actually wish she hadn't added in the prologue because I think it spoils too much. I think the twist that happens about a quarter through the book would have been too meaningful without Shannon's POV to clue you in.
All I'll say is that this is a dark romance between Elodie and Shannon. But first, she's with a man named Trevor. None of these people are what they appear to be and part of the fun is finding out who they really are and the secrets they're hiding. The title is appropriate because the monster does keep Elodie safe but safety comes at a terrible cost.
Kitty Thomas's books can be hit or miss with me but this is one of her best. It's unique and weird and sexy and disturbing, and I basically read it in less than a day because I couldn't wait to find out what happened next.
I buddy-read ENTER THE BLACK OAK with my friend, Caro. I've been excited to pick up this book ever since my friend Meredith raved about it in her review. Secret sex cults and unlikable female characters are kind of my kryptonite, so when I found out that this book incorporated both of those elements here, I was super excited.
The beginning of the book is great, as it opens with Jess finding out that her husband cheated and it feels very emotional. I liked the way she went to her friends for support and thought through all her options. Even her ambivalence about breaking things off made sense because when you've invested that much time and effort in a partnership, sometimes the instinct is to salvage what you've lost rather than cut off someone you love like they're deadweight.
What made this a frustrating read for me is that the entire lengthy middle section is the heroine, Jess, getting strung around by Jack, her husband. When he's not treating her like absolute garbage, we're forced to listen to how hot he is (and she is) ad nauseum, and while you could argue that this is the unrealiable narration from a woman who is just as desperate to convince us readers as she is herself, it's not fun to read. At all.
Around 75%, the book finally gets interesting again as Jess explores the mysterious Black Oak Society for real. It actually reminded me a lot of that sex club scene in the TV show, The Fall of the House of Usher (which came after this book did, I'm not accusing the author of copying), and since that's one of my favorite shows of all time, that's a pretty big compliment. It made me wish that the rest of the book was like that: tense, suspenseful, sexy, with a slight edge of danger.
I ended up feeling frustrated because parts of this book were like a dark romance version of Jackie Collins, who wrote trashy soap opera type stuff, but she wrote it well, which made all her books compulsively readable even if they weren't what the lit-snobs would consider "high brow." I really liked those parts of the book. But the parts where men just consistently told Jess how much better she is than the other desperate sluts of New York, and her agreeing with them in between worshipping the bodies of men who treated her like garbage, were a lot harder to stomach.
I read the afterward by the author where she talks about why she decided to write Jess the way she did and I do like her points about writing a character who other people might not like, but would be able to relate to. I could see this book working more for people who are in or have been in relationships that left them feeling conflicted and angry. But this book was mostly a miss for me. I might pick up book two, though, because my friend Clarice has assured me that Sebastian is one of the best villains she's ever read and given my love of villain romances, that was enough to pique my interest.
WILLING PREY was the primal kink book I've book looking for all my life. Shane, a socially awkward lawyer, pays Claire, a schoolteacher divorcee, $30,000 to hunt her for 30 days. The catch is that she has to make it difficult by putting up a fight. He doesn't like easy hunts.
I liked this book a lot. The sex scenes were great and I loved how sweet Shane was (when he wasn't hunting lol). Where do I find a hot lawyer to make cardio fun? Even though there isn't much in the way of conflict, I thought the X-rated games of tag and hide and seek really added a lot of suspense. I did expect more of a third act conflict than what I got, though. Since Claire is a school teacher and the U.S. is such a dick when it comes to morality clauses, I was expecting someone (maybe her douche ex?) to blackmail her, or something like that that would force them to unite as a couple against a common enemy.
But overall, WILLING PREY was great. I thought it was interesting that the author decided to make Shane a switch. At first I wasn't sure how I felt about that, but since "hunting" was so new to him and he was questioning his sexuality in such an open and thoughtful way, I guess it made sense to his character, after all. And Claire seemed super into it, so I loved that for her.
Definitely can't wait to read more from this author.
This was gross and funny and sweet and weird, all at once. But before I get into this book, hi, I'm Nenia. I have a "weekly" (read: NOT weekly) challenge where I find and review the weirdest romance and erotica novels out there. You can even recommend them to me!
I found STIFF on Threads when my friend, Dana, reviewed it. And right away, I knew it was going to be different. Richard is a medieval man, cursed by a witch to be a dildo after years of using women and leaving them unfinished. Now, his fate is to be a passive object doomed to constantly be horny but only allowed to give pleasure. The only way to break the curse is if someone puts the dildo in their mouth.
Enter Felicity, sex toy author. She's about to write a book about the history of sex toys but she's stuck on the Elizabethan period. To "inspire" her, her publisher is sending her replicas of classic historical sex toys, including a Victorian hand-crank masturbator and... Richard.
Anyway, Felicity puts Richard in her mouth and he becomes human... but the witch isn't finished with him yet. He has to get to know Felicity as an actual human being and treat her respectfully, or she'll turn him into something even worse.
STIFF was pretty entertaining. I liked it more than I have liked most books I've picked up for this challenge and I thought all of the trivia about sex toys the author included as epigrams for each chapter were fascinating. The ending actually made me tear up a little... almost. I'm embarrassed to say that this book was as heartwarming as it was cringe. This truly was a What the Actual Fuck Wednesday for the ages.
LUST FOR TOMORROW almost feels like a nostalgic read because it's so reminiscent of the military sci-fi classics of the 70s and 80s, like STARSHIP TROOPERS or ENDER'S GAME. I remember trying so hard to get into books like that in my early twenties and walking away feeling so disillusioned, because the worlds those books described were entirely men's worlds, and seemed to deliberately exclude women from being a part of the fantasy (at least, on their own terms).
This book feels like a direct response to the sexist male gazey sci-fi canon, both in homage and also as a critique. The heroine, Nina, is a foot soldier in a futuristic post-apocalyptic dystopian hellscape where zombies have ravaged the cities, forcing people to a life of scavenging or, if they're "lucky," military service. In the Stronghold, which used to be a fancy hotel and now serves as barracks, Nina lives on the outskirts of a sort of gated community, where she alternates between performing various duties in the Stronghold and going on raids led by Helmets.
Helmets are the commanders who lead the raids. Some of them take the helmets off after the battle is over, but some of them really have a hard-on for the helmets and wear them all the time like it's some kind of kink. (YAAAASS.) The people in the stronghold refer to these individuals as "helmet heads," pejoratively. But Nina, who is forced to hide so much of who she used to be to function in what remains of society, is fascinated by these people who seem to glory in hiding themselves so completely. Especially when a new Helmet joins the Stronghold and she finds herself utterly hypnotized by his voice. Most people don't like him and call him Alpha, but Nina wants to fuck him.
This is because Nina is smart.
I was really impressed by this book. For a debut, it is nearly perfect. I really liked the world building, which surprised me, because post-apoc is not a genre I gravitate to at all (I think the last one I read was, like, two years ago and I believe I gave it a two). The mask kink is hot and very on-trend. Why is nobody talking about the Reylo to mask kink dark romance pipeline? If you watched The Force Awakens and thought to yourself, "I want to fuck Kylo Ren," this book is for you. Especially if it was qualified by "But only when he's nice to me while domming the complete and utter shit out of me."
The sex in this book was great. It manages to convey a pretty compelling BDSM relationship with a Dom who does active care and fucks up sometimes but admits it. There were a couple scenes that weren't to my personal taste, but 90% of them were exactly my thing and all of them were well-written and contributed to the emotional development of the characters. I also liked that the heroine initiated the relationship between them and that the consent was mostly implied. I feel like too often, erotica writers are so conscious of making sure there's consent that they sometimes end up sounding like afterschool specials for How to Sex Without Being Rapey 101 and it ends up feeling artificial. This did not.
I personally cannot fully get on board with a romance unless there's an emotional connection and all the little moments between Tom/Alpha and Nina really made such a difference. There's people on TikTok who do videos about toxic couples where they make jokes about how they'd break up or divorce after the fact, but these two feel like a couple you could really root for. Which is why it kind of surprised me when, after Nina sees Tom's face for the first time, it feels almost anticlimactic. His face is never really described much at all. Maybe this was intentional, because his face was never what she was attracted to, but given the mutual simpage, I thought she'd wax a little more over (in Tom's own words) his "handsome face."
I only had a handful of qualms for this book. There's a jump where Nina and Alpha go from sleeping together to her waking up injured and I had to reread that scene several times because I didn't realize that there was a battle scene that happened off page. I think it's supposed to convey amnesia, like an actual blank space (kind of like those empty pages in Stephenie Meyer's New Moon), but it was really confusing to me. I was also a little confused about how the zombie outbreak happened in the first place (unless I was really dumb and I missed the explanation), and also about what Threshers were. There's also a really sinister undertone to the Stronghold which is only really hinted at here (and I'm sure will be explored in more detail in later books) but I really wanted to know more about what it is like post-apocalypse, and what these super sus military people are actually hiding (LOTS, probably).
Apparently the next book is going to be about the himbo of the Stronghold, Demetri. I really liked his character, and I'm excited to read more in this series. It's been a while since I picked up a sci-fi romance I really liked, and hats off to the author for writing a world that is sinister but not stomach-wrenchingly bleak. My poor little wuss soul wouldn't be able to take it. :)
I follow this author on Threads and quite like her posts. When I saw that she had a gothic erotic horror novella out about vampires, I knew I had to have it. I mean, just LOOK at that cover! THE DARK QUEEN'S APOTHECARY is set in medieval Eastern Europe. At first, it starts out feeling very much like an episode of Castlevania, with Andrei, an apothecary, being summoned to the queen to perform a task that defies the rules of life itself at the behest of a sinister Queen.
Viorica was such an interesting and dynamic character. She reminds me a lot of the heroines in Tanith Lee novels: she is a selfish creature of passion, flawed and a little sadistic, but very insecure and flawed, in a way that makes her fascinating rather than unlikable. Her sort of relationship with Andrei after he (SPOILER) becomes a vampire like her was really interesting to read. The way their roles warped and changed as they did was quite well done, and there are callbacks to numerous other gothic works in the storyline, whether it be Island of Doctor Moreau, Frankenstein, or the legend of Lizabet Bathory.
Fun read and quite dark but not overly so. Mind the TWs.
I'd seen a TikTok about this novella and I was really curious because the summary was so vague. Basically, a woman is driving through the rain with her abusive husband in the car, and they happen upon a hitchhiker with his hood pulled down. Maire, the woman, doesn't want to stop because she thinks that he could be dangerous. She's right.
I don't want to say too much about this book because I don't want to spoil what happens, but it made me like a story that has a taboo in it that I normally avoid, which is pretty amazing. My jaw dropped at two of the twists. I would only recommend this to the darkest of dark romance readers since it basically covers all the bases, but I felt like it handled its content pretty well. There are some interesting discussions that could be had about this book, like how coming from a broken home causes you to depend on people you shouldn't, how trauma bonding through a shared and painful history can transcend social mores, and even how one can be so blinded by one's own so-called moral righteousness that it can cause a person to be more compassionate to a stranger than they would their own wife, just to keep up appearances.
So yeah, I liked this book. The ending was great. Pay attention to the trigger warnings and note the "taboo" label, but definitely read this if you're looking for something different and super dark. My only wish is that it was longer. I feel like a full length novel about all of these characters would have been really interesting. There's an epic and fucked-up saga in here that's screaming and begging to get out.
Disclaimer: I'm friends with the author on socials but she didn't ask me to read this.
This is one of the strangest romance novels I have ever read that wasn't for my What the Actual Fuck Wednesday challenge. Basically, it's rom-com with a breeding kink. Olivia and Ollie are childhood friends and live in a condo next to each other with a shared wall. Both of them have been secretly in love with each other since forever, but neither of them have ever actually confessed. Their relationship, however, swiftly changes course when Ollie's Italian mother is visiting and he accidentally tells her that Olivia is pregnant.
With his baby.
Which is not true, by the way.
Ollie is autistic and has been having a lot of relationship trouble with women. He knows how to follow a script and he's dominant in bed, but he's so insecure about his neurodivergence that he's never allowed anyone to get closed. While his mother interrogates him about his lack of a date and kind of makes an effort to push him away from Olivia, to get him to focus on romantic relationships, he panics. Family, he knows, is something his mother desperately wants and understands. But unfortunately, it's something Olivia desperately wants as well.
Olivia also has major relationship problems: right now, it's that she has none, and at thirty (omg, she's so olllllld *rolls eyes*) she feels the ticking of her biological clock and desperately wants to get pregnant. When she's not Googling "Sperm banks near me" and looking at porn, she's hating on Ollie's girlfriends, who are attracted to his money and his looks, but always seem to love and leave him. At first, his lie to his mother seems unspeakably cruel but eventually she starts to see the sense of it. She would know who the baby's father would be and she already feels safe with him. Why shouldn't they fuck like rabbits so he can impregnate her by Thanksgiving? Nothing about this could possibly go wrong, right?
I hate breeding kink so if I had known what this book was actually about, I would have jumped ship and then left. By the time I realized what was actually going on, I was in too deep to leave. I felt committed to the cause. But honestly... this book was entertaining. I felt like I was held hostage. Part of what makes this book good is that it's just SUCH A WEIRD PLOT that I felt invested in what happened. It's like when someone behind you on the bus is having a dramatic phone call and you kind of find yourself following along, like, "What, your sister in law cheated on her husband and now Kelly wants to bring her love-child to your family cookout? AND HER HUSBAND'S GONNA BE THERE?" I had to find out how this absolutely insane fake-dating/baby-making scheme would go.
There are lots of lines in this book that are incredibly unsexy. I would say 70% of it is phrases I would like to never see again, and 30% of it were some surprisingly hot and kinky dialogues. I did like how they communicated every aspect of their relationship and how consent played a premium in their negotiations. I also liked how, unlike some other neurotypical/neurodivergent pairings I've read, Olivia never tries to "fix" Ollie and she unflinchingly goes to bat for him when other people seem to be trying to use him or put him down. Her acceptance of him for who he was was really well done, and while I'm not sure how good the rep is for Ollie (I didn't see any self-proclaimed #ownvoices reviews for this book), he felt like a caricature at worst but not overtly problematic, and at best, I would argue that he's a great example of how neurodivergence can be neutral or even beneficial in many areas of one's life as long as someone is allowed to live in a way that makes them feel comfortable and useful.
I'm not sure I'll read more books in this series but this author took a trope I normally hate and made me read it until the end, so that speaks pretty highly in her favor.
So I have a "weekly" challenge called What the Actual Fuck Wednesday, where I read and review the weirdest romance and erotica people send my way. I can't remember who sent me SEDUCED BY THE PUMPKIN SPICE LATTE but as soon as I saw it, I knew it had to be one of my fall picks. Even more surprising? Somehow it's been out since 2015 and it seems like it's been largely undiscovered.
Melissa is obsessed with floaty scarves, layered tees, braids she found on the internet, Taylor Swift... and PSLs. Oh, how she loves PSLs. They practically make her horny. Despite the short length of this book, Pumpkin Spice Latte is mentioned 50 times, and Starbucks 17 times. Which is honestly pretty ballsy of this author to do. Or was this a guerilla marketing attempt like KFC's ill-fated TENDER WINGS OF DESIRE? Either way, it takes product placement to dangerous and potentially hospital-inducing levels.
When Melissa buys her drink, the Starbucks employees are suspiciously hot and her drink is suspiciously sensual. After masturbating in public with the PSL cup, she finds the two employees watching her, which is when they tell her that she's a *checks notes* "pumpkin spice-sexual," and invite her to join a threesome WHILST STILL IN THE STORE. OSHA violations, I see you.
There's not a lot to say about this book. It's bad, it knows it's bad, and it doesn't care.
If you heard an outraged pterodactyl-sounding screech of rage, that was me when I got to the cliffhanger at the end of this book. I probably shouldn't be surprised, though. Having read other series by this author, I can definitely confirm that this is 100% her thing.
I'll try not to be mad.
Keyword: try.
I'm actually really impressed with how polished this book is compared to some of this author's other works. In PRIVATE PROPERTY, she has really honed her writing style into something dark and richly atmospheric, with slow-burn sexual attraction and, of course, lots of smut. I think going into this book expecting it to be a carbon copy of JANE EYRE is a mistake, since that's obviously not what the author is trying to do. This is one of those books that feels more like an homage than a straightforward retelling-- even if there's a wicked cliffhanger.
Jane Mendoza is a biracial nanny who is moving from Texas to Maine to take care of a girl named Paige, the niece of the tortured and very imposing Beau Rochester. I think the author did a good job capturing what a manipulative dick Rochester was, and how he basically did it for his own amusement, and because he knew he could get away with it. Some of the stand-offs between Jane and Beau felt very much in keeping with the source material and more than a couple of them made me smile.
Even though this is smut, it is Smut with Plot(TM) which makes a world of difference because it allows for an emotional connection between the two leads that fuels all their scenes together. I liked how Jane talked about how when her Latinx father died, she felt as if her connection to her culture was severed. The way that grief was approached in this book was also really well done. The author shows, rather than tells, us how disillusioned Beau has become with the wealthy set he used to party with, and Jane's abusive and grief-stricken past allow her to forge a connection with his defiant and grieving niece, who is about to flunk out of the first grade because she is refusing to do her school work.
I will say that the second half is a bit weaker than the first half, just because it felt like the author stopped caring as much about the atmosphere and tension once Jane and Beau started hooking up, but I devoured this so eagerly that I really can't give it less than five stars. It's one of my favorite Jane Eyre retellings that I've read, and now I'm feeling the urge to binge-read some more, all thanks to this book.
Nenia ✨ I yeet my books back and forth ✨
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