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Golfing Quotes
Quotes tagged as "golfing"
Showing 1-28 of 28
“I golf like a Jackson Pollock painting. I splatter my shots all over the place—and then I act like I just produced a masterpiece.”
― To be good at golf you must go full koala bear
― To be good at golf you must go full koala bear
“A cigarette is just rolled up leaves, which makes it a smokable salad burrito. That makes the golfer John Daly a health advocate.”
― To be good at golf you must go full koala bear
― To be good at golf you must go full koala bear
“I shimmy so much before teeing off, people are probably thinking, "Are you going to golf—or dance?” Well, why not both?”
― To be good at golf you must go full koala bear
― To be good at golf you must go full koala bear
“I once played golf. That day I caught five new ducks to add to my farm collection.”
― To be good at golf you must go full koala bear
― To be good at golf you must go full koala bear
“John Daly is from Arkansas, but now lives in Florida. I'm from Florida, but now I live in Arkansas. I am the inverse John Daly, and I think my golf game proves it.”
― To be good at golf you must go full koala bear
― To be good at golf you must go full koala bear
“Bryson DeChambeau uses science in the true sense of the word to improve his golf game. He experiments and analyzes data to get better, and this separates golf fans, because those who think that's not cool use all of their brain capacity just breathing, like amoebas, but dumber.”
― To be good at golf you must go full koala bear
― To be good at golf you must go full koala bear
“They say koala bears have tiny brains and eat grass. I say to be good at golf you must go full koala bear, and forget about all the greens you've chewed up and focus only on this hole and this swing.”
― To be good at golf you must go full koala bear
― To be good at golf you must go full koala bear
“Golf is probably a CIA psyop. Think about it. Golf is the only thing that tames the wild FloridaMan. It turns even the hilariously hostile into the docile.”
― To be good at golf you must go full koala bear
― To be good at golf you must go full koala bear
“Zebras are piano horses. I think about that when I’m swinging a golf club, and it brings a musical cowboy element to my game that another player might not be able to buy in a vending machine.”
― To be good at golf you must go full koala bear
― To be good at golf you must go full koala bear
“The moon is a golf ball in the sky. My motto is this: If you can’t hit a hole in one, fake it in a film studio.”
― To be good at golf you must go full koala bear
― To be good at golf you must go full koala bear
“People watch my unique style of play, and they want to know my top three golf influences. That's easy. John Daly, practicing daily, and an orange and white cat surrounded by yellow ducklings.”
― To be good at golf you must go full koala bear
― To be good at golf you must go full koala bear
“I watched the cheese melt in the microwave—along with the surrounding plastic. I forgot to take it out of its package before use, just like my golf game.”
― To be good at golf you must go full koala bear
― To be good at golf you must go full koala bear
“You have to have balls to golf. That’s why The Securities and Exchange Commission doesn’t play.”
― To be good at golf you must go full koala bear
― To be good at golf you must go full koala bear
“I love how golf courses have water hazards. But the ponds feel empty without ducks. I'd like to start a business renting my ducks out to country clubs.”
― To be good at golf you must go full koala bear
― To be good at golf you must go full koala bear
“I can golf in 17 different languages. I don’t speak any of them, but that’s balanced out by your inability to listen and understand.”
― To be good at golf you must go full koala bear
― To be good at golf you must go full koala bear
“I have a golf swing like a Rosary dangling off a car's rearview mirror. I hope watching me play makes you realize Catholicism isn't for you.”
― To be good at golf you must go full koala bear
― To be good at golf you must go full koala bear
“I'll bet playing classical music to plants would make them grow taller. When my ducks listen to Mozart, they become more cultured and have done things like taken up golf.”
― To be good at golf you must go full koala bear
― To be good at golf you must go full koala bear
“I got a new golf bag. I keep it full of sad harmonica tunes that I hand out like Halloween candy to all the rainy-eyed players.”
― To be good at golf you must go full koala bear
― To be good at golf you must go full koala bear
“I played a round of golf, but I didn't get an eagle. No, that symbol of American FREEDOM flew away faster than I could say Francis Scott Key.”
― To be good at golf you must go full koala bear
― To be good at golf you must go full koala bear
“There's a thought process that says if you don't use every club in your golf bag every round, you're doing your game a disservice. Bryson DeChambeau could use every club in a golf bag from the 1800s and still make you look like a beginner.”
― To be good at golf you must go full koala bear
― To be good at golf you must go full koala bear
“Golfing is a gateway drug to duck farming. Just being out in nature is addicting.”
― Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.
― Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.
“The PGA has transitioned from three letters into five: LGBTQ. For me, real progress in golf would mean turning all the courses into duck farms.”
― Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.
― Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.
“John Daly is all the Caddyshack characters in one body. He's a caricature of a person, and that's why I'm a fan.”
― Powdered Saxophone Music
― Powdered Saxophone Music
“Pool tables should have contours, like golf courses. For a novice billiards player, I have a pretty good swing.”
― There are Two Typos of People in This World: Those Who Can Edit and Those Who Can't
― There are Two Typos of People in This World: Those Who Can Edit and Those Who Can't
“Yesterday I played a round of golf. I just kept hitting the ball in circles, but never getting it in the circles they call holes.”
― The Lewis and Clark of The Ozarks
― The Lewis and Clark of The Ozarks
“He loved the game. The battle that raged inside each player's head. The little ball that sat motionless, defying you to hit it. No defenders, no game clock, no excuses. And maybe that's why the highs were so high and the lows felt so low. Could you in the moment quiet your thoughts and execute? It was glorious when you did!”
― Chasing the Best Days
― Chasing the Best Days
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