Golf Quotes

“I regard golf as an expensive way of playing marbles.”
― G.K. Chesterton

“Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.”
― Dave Barry

“Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps.”
― Tiger Woods

“It took me seventeen years to get three thousand hits in baseball. It took one afternoon on the golf course.”
― Hank Aaron

“Stay true to yourself and listen to your inner voice. It will lead you to your dream.”
― James Ross

“Sometimes not getting what you want is a brilliant stroke of luck.”
― Lorii Myers, Make It Happen, A Healthy, Competitive Approach to Achieving Personal Success

“To find a man's true character, play golf with him. ”
― P.G. Wodehouse

“The greatest thing about tomorrow is, I will be better than I am today. And that's how I look at my life. I will be a better golfer, I will be a better person, I will be a better father, I will be a better husband, I will be a better friend. That's the beauty of tomorrow.”
― Tiger Woods

“Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into an ever smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill-designed for the purpose”
― Winston S. Churchill

“Mistakes are part of the game. It's how well you recover from them, that's the mark of a great player.”
― Alice Cooper

“Golf... is the infallible test. The man who can go into a patch of rough alone, with the knowledge that only God is watching him, and play his ball where it lies, is the man who will serve you faithfully and well.”
― P.G. Wodehouse

“If you drink, don’t drive. Don’t even putt.”
― Dean Martin

“The least thing upset him on the links. He missed short putts because of the uproar of the butterflies in the adjoining meadows. ”
― P.G. Wodehouse

“if you gone come in second, you're just the first loser!”
― Tiger Woods

“I call upon all nations to do everything they can to stop these terrorist killers. Thank you. Now watch this drive.”
― George W. Bush

“I know I am getting better at golf because I am hitting fewer spectators.”
― Gerald Ford

“Golf, like measles, should be caught young.”
― Wodehouse

“The value of routine; trusting your swing.”
― Lorii Myers, Make It Happen, A Healthy, Competitive Approach to Achieving Personal Success

“Golf: A plague invented by the Calvinistic Scots as a punishment for man's sins.”
― James Barrett Reston, Uncle Anthony's Unabridged Analogies: Quotes and Proverbs for Lawyers and Lecturers

“I started watching golf for the first time yesterday. I`m really worried about myself. I was actually enjoying it.”
― Ewan McGregor

“The good characters in my book are loosely based on folks I know. All the bad stuff is made up.”
― Mike Bove, Willowtree A Bruce DelReno Mystery

“And we were taught to play golf. Golf epitomizes the tame world. On a golf course nature is neutered. The grass is clean, a lawn laundry that wipes away the mud, the insect, the bramble, nettle and thistle, an Eezy-wipe lawn where nothing of life, dirty and glorious, remains. Golf turns outdoors into indoors, a prefab mat of stultified grass, processed, pesticided, herbicided, the pseudo-green of formica sterility. Here, the grass is not singing. The wind cannot blow through it. Dumb expression, greenery made stupid, it hums a bland monotone in the key of the mono-minded. No word is emptier than a golf tee. No roots, it has no known etymology, it is verbal nail polish. Worldwide, golf is an arch act of enclosure, a commons fenced and subdued for the wealthy, trampling serf and seedling. The enemy of wildness, it is a demonstration of the absolute dominion of man over wild nature.”
― Jay Griffiths, Wild: An Elemental Journey

“Bryson DeChambeau uses science in the true sense of the word to improve his golf game. He experiments and analyzes data to get better, and this separates golf fans, because those who think that's not cool use all of their brain capacity just breathing, like amoebas, but dumber.”
― Jarod Kintz, To be good at golf you must go full koala bear

“These golf people seem unnaturally obsessed. They dress kind of funny too, and it's become a running joke for Gretchen and I to e-mail the most ridiculous golfing pictures back and forth to each other. Sometimes she adds hysterical captions. She never puts them on PitchBitch, though. We can't threaten the gravy train.”
― Shawn Klomparens, Jessica Z.

“The President is also captured in a well-worn TV news clip, making a boilerplate response to a question on terrorism and then asking the reporters to watch his drive. Well, that's what you get if you catch the President on a golf course. If Eisenhower had done this, as he often did, it would have been presented as calm statesmanship. If Clinton had done it, as he often did, it would have shown his charm.”
― Christopher Hitchens, Christopher Hitchens and His Critics: Terror, Iraq, and the Left

“A good golfer’s métier is his or her golfing skill.

A great golfer’s métier is his or her golfing skill, coupled with the mastery of good sportsmanship, rendering him or her an ambassador for the sport.”
― Lorii Myers, Targeting Success, Develop the Right Business Attitude to be Successful in the Workplace

“Ich habe in diesen Tagen viel über Liebe nachgedacht, und darüber, wie ich das Wort hasste und es ständig wieder gebrauchte, und mir fällt ein - eine der vergänglichen Offenbarungen der Schlaflosigkeit - dass wir, ehe wir etwas lieben, uns so etwas wie eine Nachbildung davon machen müssen, ein Erinnerungsgebilde aus flüchtigen Eindrücken und Augenblicken, das alsdann seine äussere, ziemlich langweilige Erscheinung durch eine sternbildhafte Verinnerlichung ersetzt, phosporeszierend, bequem und tragbar und am Ende unempfindlich gegen den rüden Raubbau der Wirklichkeit.”
― John Updike

“Consider the value of doing what you love and being paid for it!

This is truly a golfer’s dream.”
― Lorii Myers, Targeting Success, Develop the Right Business Attitude to be Successful in the Workplace

“I believe in reverencing anything in the life of man which has the testimony of the ages as being unexcelled, whether it be literature, paintings, poetry, tombs -- even a golf hole.”
― C.B. MacDonald

“One of the bonds between Lily and me is that we both suffer with our teeth. She is twenty years my junior but we wear bridges, each of us. Mine are at the sides, hers are in front. She has lost the four upper incisors. It happened while she was still in high school, out playing golf with her father, whom she adored. The poor old guy was a lush and far too drunk to be out on a golf course that day. Without looking or given warning, he drove from the first tee and on the backswing struck his daughter. It always kills me to think of that cursed hot July golf course, and this drunk from the plumbing supply business, and the girl of fifteen bleeding. Damn these weak drunks! Damn these unsteady men! I can't stand these clowns who go out in public as soon as they get swacked to show how broken-hearted they are. But Lily would never hear a single word against him and wept for him sooner than for herself. She carries his photo in her wallet.”
― Saul Bellow, Henderson the Rain King