Foster Care Quotes

“She found the perfect black dress: a little too short and a little too tight. No one would suspect she was an elementary school teacher.”
― Cricket Rohman, Wanted: An Honest Man

“Sister, why do you do that?"
"Do what?"
"Cage the animals at night?"
"Well..." She looked up and out through the barred window before answering me."We don't want to, Jennings, but we have to. You see, the animals that are given to us we have to take care of. If we didn't cage them up in one place, we might lose them, they might get hurt or damaged. It's not the best thing, but it's the only way we have to take care of them."

"But if somebody loved one them," I asked, "wouldn't it be a good idea to let them have one? To keep, I mean?"

"Yes, it would be. But not everyone would love them and take care of them as you would. I wish I could give them all away tomorrow." She looked at me. There were tears in her eyes. "But I can't. My heart would break if I saw just one of those animals lying by the wayside uncared for, unloved. No, Jennings. It's better if we keep them together.”
― Jennings Michael Burch, They Cage the Animals at Night: The True Story of an Abandoned Child's Struggle for Emotional Survival

“In some instances, even when crisis intervention has been intensive and appropriate, the mother and daughter are already so deeply estranged at the time of disclosure that the bond between them seems irreparable. In this situation, no useful purpose is served by trying to separate the mother and father and keep the daughter at home. The daughter has already been emotionally expelled from her family; removing her to protective custody is simply the concrete expression of the family reality.
These are the cases which many agencies call their “tragedies.” This report of a child protective worker illustrates a case where removing the child from the home was the only reasonable course of action:

Division of Family and Children’s Services received an anonymous telephone call on Sept. 14 from a man who stated that he
overheard Tracy W., age 8, of [address] tell his daughter of a forced oral-genital assault, allegedly perpetrated against this child by her mother’s boyfriend, one Raymond S.

Two workers visited the W. home on Sept. 17. According to their report, Mrs. W. was heavily under the influence of alcohol at the time of the visit. Mrs. W. stated immediately that she was aware why the two workers wanted to see her, because Mr. S. had “hurt her little girl.” In the course of the interview, Mrs. W. acknowledged and described how Mr. S. had forced Tracy to have relations with him. Workers then interviewed Tracy and she verified what mother had stated. According to Mrs. W., Mr. S. admitted the sexual assault, claiming that he was drunk and not accountable for his actions. Mother then stated to workers that she banished Mr. S. from her home.

I had my first contact with mother and child at their home on Sept. 20 and I subsequently saw this family once a week. Mother was usually intoxicated and drinking beer when I saw her. I met Mr. S. on my second visit. Mr. S. denied having had any sexual relations with Tracy. Mother explained that she had obtained a license and planned to marry Mr. S.

On my third visit, Mrs. W. was again intoxicated and drinking despite my previous request that she not drink during my visit. Mother explained that Mr. S. had taken off to another state and she never wanted to see him again. On this visit mother demanded that Tracy tell me the details of her sexual involvement with Mr. S.
On my fourth visit, Mr. S. and Mrs. S. were present. Mother explained that they had been married the previous Saturday.
On my fifth visit, Mr. S. was not present. During our discussion, mother commented that “Bay was not the first one who had
Tracy.” After exploring this statement with mother and Tracy, it became clear that Tracy had been sexually exploited in the same manner at age six by another of Mrs. S.'s previous boyfriends.
On my sixth visit, Mrs. S. stated that she could accept Tracy’s being placed with another family as long as it did not appear to Tracy that it was her mother’s decision to give her up. Mother also commented, “I wish the fuck I never had her.”

It appears that Mrs. S. has had a number of other children all of whom have lived with other relatives or were in foster care for part of their lives. Tracy herself lived with a paternal aunt from birth to age five.”
― Judith Lewis Herman, Father-Daughter Incest

“The entire fucking point of being born is that someone is supposed to take care of you.”
― Jennifer Longo, What I Carry

“We're just different, that's all. That's all a freak is. someone who's different."

The Very Worst Thing”
― Torey Hayden

“Helping a child today will help prevent a broken adult tomorrow.”
― Kathleen Paydo

“Can I play with the dolls now please Nan?” Caroline asked gently. “Yes with pleasure” nan replied. Caroline sat still for five minutes a little bit closer to our group playing cards and then gingerly said “where is it Nan?” As she clutched the one doll she’d been allowed to play with. “Where’s what?” Nan asked sighing like she'd been stopped mid way to picking up fifty pounds. “The pleasure?” Caroline replied innocently unaware of what it was she was saying.
This story was retold by Nan many times when someone asked about Caroline to point out how unwell mentally she was and why she was under whichever punishment nan had designated for her at the time. Caroline had no mental problems. She had a stutter because she had been scared so much as a child. Unfortunately the story sums up how nan was with girls perfectly. There was no pleasure.”
― Tracie Daily, Tracie's Story: Care Abuse Love Murder

“The danger was not gone—Helen knew that. Each day spent together, the existence of this tiny charge was in her hands. It suddenly seemed the most perplexing fact of life—it was up to flawed, bruised, broken adults to bring up angels. Helen wanted to offer the child a place of safety, but no matter where Lyric went, that could not be found. Not for sure. If she stayed, they would each risk hurt, loss, and suffering.
But it was no more than anyone else could offer.
Helen realized, as she brushed a strand from the girl’s face and tucked it behind her small ear, that if she didn’t take that risk, she could be risking even more. For both of them.
Lyric blinked, yet the look in her eyes never left. Helen closed her own eyes and leaned forward, placing a soft kiss on the child’s forehead.
I will fail. She knew. I will fail you thousands of times more. But if we stay together, I will spend every day we have doing all I can to keep you from losing that look in your eyes. She nodded slowly to herself, to the unspoken words inside her. When you see me, I hope you always see a home.”
― Corinne Beenfield, The Ocean's Daughter :

“In this faded world, Lyric was light through a prism. All that invisible joy and curiosity met a dash of sunshine, and then she was there, in all her color.”
― Corinne Beenfield, The Ocean's Daughter :

“Watching her with the other children, it struck Helen once again that there was something that still set the girl apart, something just out of reach. Lyric was remarkable. A breathtaking horizon and endless ocean, deep and mysterious. No matter how well Helen got to know her, she always felt as though she never truly would.”
― Corinne Beenfield, The Ocean's Daughter :

“So set your goals, know your worth, and hold on to the people who care about you. Those people can be your foundation when your life is shaky. They can be role models when you aren't sure how to act. They can be the family you choose when you miss the family you lost.”
― Elizabeth Sutherland, No Ordinary Liz

“The atmosphere inside was terrible. Brenda stared into the distance whenever I was around her and hardly spoke to me.

Little Jim passed me in the hall “you shouldn’t have done that” he said without malice. Was he scared too? Why was everyone scared? What didn’t I know?

I walked into the kitchen “Hi Brenda, what should I do now I’m late for tea?” I asked her honestly.

“You can do whatever you choose Tracie” she said staring through the kitchen window. It kind of reminded me of my first memory of mum. I was shocked she sounded like she really didn’t care. She wasn’t even fake caring any more she just plain didn’t give a shit.

“Thanks” I said and walked towards the living room where Caroline and Rita were sat. Rita got up and walked past me to go to bed. “What’s going on?” I said to Caroline. “We didn’t know where you were” she said shaking her head at me. Did nobody get it?”
― Tracie Daily, Tracie's Story: Care Abuse Love Murder

“To this day I'll never know whether he planned to off me or was just getting a huge rise out of taking me back to where he killed my mother.

Perhaps he intended to teach me a lesson and tie me up in the cave, gag me and leave me there for an hour to convince me he could kill me if he wanted to, or perhaps he was genuine and wanted to have a laugh and a joke around the caves in the only way he knew how - by being a complete idiot.

I have no idea however at the time it all felt very real and his intentions about killing me genuine or not he was definitely getting a kick out of being back where he killed my mother.”
― Tracie Daily, Checkmate: Care Abuse Love Murder

“Macclesfield was like a wound I couldn't stop picking. I didn't know if I'd ever heal or if my constant pulling at the scab would leave me open to infection but I did know I had to keep doing it. I had to find out what lay beneath each layer of skin even if it meant that I felt more and more pain. It could have been another form of self harm or it could have been a part of my journey I just had to make.
Either way I was compelled to continue. Could I get Jodie and Jonathon back?
Could I see them playing again?
Would Courtney accept me into her family?
Perhaps I'd belong there until I got my family back together?
Okay so I couldn't grow up with Alan as I'd liked but I could try and fit in with Clive and Phil. The thought hurt, I could easily turn to crime but how would that help with the social services?”
― Tracie Daily, Checkmate: Care Abuse Love Murder

“We've both changed. We're tired of having the world push us into places we don't want to be. We're both scared of losing love that maybe we never had to being with. We can have whatever we want in our lives. It's only a matter of deciding. But we don't have to do it alone. We have each other.”
― Linda Mullaly Hunt

“She had thought it would be easy from there. It wasn’t. It was simple, but not easy. There was joy, but terror, too, as though stepping back from a ship’s helm and letting the journey go. It sounded romantic enough until being dashed to pieces against the rocks. It was the loveliest tiny moments that would drench Helen in happiness, like when Lyric was nestled in the crook of her arm, resisting falling asleep. Helen had brushed a finger down the child’s nose. Her drowsy eyes had fluttered yet followed Helen’s finger, going cross-eyed just as Helen reached the nose tip. For a moment, the joy and love saturated everything.”
― Corinne Beenfield, The Ocean's Daughter :

“Love, feelings, all that mushy stuff—if it was ever real, it never goes away.”
― Bianca Viola, Dreaming of Hiraeth

“Making a human always takes the same three ingredients—an egg cell, a sperm cell, and a uterus. But just how the ingredients come
together is a fascinating tale. With discoveries in science and medicine, we
have insemination and IVF, along with sex, to bring babies into the world. Sometimes the ingredients that created us come from the same people who are raising us. Other times, we don’t share genetics with the people responsible for our care, such as when we are raised by stepparents, adoptive parents, or foster parents. This is also often true when donors and surrogates are involved.”
― Rachel HS Ginocchio, Roads to Family: All the Ways We Come to Be

“Making a human always takes the same three ingredients—an egg cell, a sperm cell, and a uterus. But just how the ingredients come together is a fascinating tale. Sometimes the ingredients that created us come from the same people who are raising us. Other times, we don’t share genetics with the people responsible for our care, such as when we are raised by stepparents, adoptive parents, or foster parents. This is also often true when donors and surrogates are involved.”
― Rachel HS Ginocchio

“Axel’s eyes are hazelnut and shift with the light and his mood. It makes him seem elusive and slippery, almost complicated. He’s not. He just has to be fed, kept busy, and reminded to wipe himself.”
― Wayne Ng, The Family Code (206)

“The things that come naturally to me are getting by (yes, that’s debatable), getting out when the shit’s hitting the fan, and getting the first punch in (unless I’ve been suckered). I’m good at those. References are available if you don’t believe me.”
― Wayne Ng, The Family Code (206)

“The CAS sent me to a therapist. He actually wasn’t half bad at first—real young, kinda cute, a bit stuck up with degrees in fancy IKEA frames all over his concrete walls and new-agey music playing. I mean, what kind of therapist has background music? Like was he going to massage my feet too? No doubt, he was making good money, though. To be honest, if he had made a move on me, I might have been okay with it.”
― Wayne Ng, The Family Code (206)

“Seemed to me a child snatched from her mother and dropped in a stranger’s home was already living outside her comfort zone but who was I to argue?”
― Christina Estes, Off the Air

“My newest novel, Tiny House of God is now available as an audiobook through Audible! It was so much fun (and work) to record.”
― Sara Zavacki-Moore

“When we place children to fill beds, we are creating a system of temporary housing rather than a long-term solution of finding children their forever, safe, and loving families.”
― Tori Hope Petersen, Fostered: One Woman’s Powerful Story of Finding Faith and Family through Foster Care

“Too many people throw money and goods at vulnerable youth when they need time, basic skills, and long-term relationships.”
― Tori Hope Petersen, Fostered: One Woman’s Powerful Story of Finding Faith and Family through Foster Care

“I didn't want to be treated like charity. I wanted to be invested in. If we want to see our foster youth empowered, we must grant them responsibility. I want vulnerable youth to have what they need for today, but more than that, I want vulnerable youth to obtain the skills they need for their families tomorrow.”
― Tori Hope Petersen, Fostered: One Woman’s Powerful Story of Finding Faith and Family through Foster Care

“The foster care system should not be used solely to house children but should be used to help them heal.”
― Tori Hope Petersen, Fostered: One Woman’s Powerful Story of Finding Faith and Family through Foster Care

“She asked me what I wanted to be whenever I grew up. I had to think about that. We went past some barns and tobacco fields with their big yellow-green leaves waving in the sad evening light. She looked over at me and said, Hey, why so glum, chum?
I told her nobody had ever asked me that question before, about growing up and what I wanted to be, so I didn't know. Mainly, still alive.”
― Barbara Kingsolver, Demon Copperhead

“Mom's friends were worried that their son isn't talking as much as other six-year-olds. They, like many parents, were concerned with how "smart" their kid is. "Should we be reading to him more?" they asked me. I thought of how lonely I felt trying to teach myself how to read as a foster kid. "Yeah," I replied. "But not because it will expand his vocabulary. Read to him because it will remind him that you love him.”
― Rob Henderson, Troubled