Always on my mind (Every day, every night)
Your star burns so bright (Why did I push you away?)
I was scared sometimes
You had a power like a lightning strike
When I'm on stage sometimes I lie
Say that I like singing these songs you left behind
And I know you always said, "It's okay to cry"
So I know I can cry, I can cry, so I cry
[Verse 1]
Wish I'd tried to pull you closer
You pushed me hard, made me focus
Your words, brutal, loving, truthful
I was petrified
You're a hero and a human
Track was done, I'd make excuses
You'd say, "Come on, stay for dinner"
I'd say, "No, I'm fine" (Now I really wish I'd stayed)
[Chorus]
Always on my mind (Every day, every night)
Your star burns so bright (Why did I push you away?)
I was scared sometimes
You had a power like a lightning strike
When I'm on stage, sometimes I lie
Say that I like singing these songs you left behind
And I know you always said, "It's okay to cry"
So I know I can cry, I can cry, so I cry
Guilty feelings keep me fractured
Got a phone call after Christmas
Didn't know how I should act
I watched you dance online
Your sounds, your words live on, endless
When I make songs, I remember
Things you'd suggest, "Make it faster"
Would you like this one? (Maybe just a little bit?)
[Chorus]
Always on my mind (Every day, every night)
Your star burns so bright (Why did I push you away?)
I was scared sometimes
You had a power like a lightning strike
When I'm on stage, sometimes I lie
Say that I like singing these songs you left behind
And I know you always said, "It's okay to cry"
So I know I can cry, I can cry, so I cry
[Outro]
I, I, I, I
I, I, I, I
On my mind
About
“So I” is about Charli’s long time collaborator SOPHIE. They worked together on songs like “Vroom Vroom” and “Lipgloss”. Charli has credited SOPHIE as being one of the biggest influences in her artistry and her life.
Charli discovered her through her song “LEMONADE” and decided to meet her for a studio session in Sweden. This was the start of a great artistic relationship and friendship.
Sadly, SOPHIE passed away on 30 January 2021 after accidentally falling from the rooftop of a building while attempting to take a picture of the full moon in Greece. Her legacy lives on and inspires artists in all genres of music.
In this song, Charli speaks of her regrets about their relationship, how she would often push SOPHIE away since Charli was afraid of not being cool enough or good enough of a person for her. Charli also suggests she would have kept SOPHIE closer if she had known she would pass away so soon.
The song was first premiered through a live performance at the 2024 Billboard Women in Music event.
Q&A
Find answers to frequently asked questions about the song and explore its deeper meaning
I’m performing a new song tonight, I’ve never performed it before so I’m sorry if I get it all wrong… this song is about a person who is really really special to me who is no longer with us — my heart is beating really fast… it’s called “So I”.
— Charli XCX at the Billboard Women in Music 2024 Performance
Yes! A fan on Reddit who received the BRAT (diary entry edition), which contains one page cut from Charli’s diary, revealed that the track was first called “Your Star (Always On My Mind).”