Tulsa Domestic Violence Survivor Shares Story, Wants To Help Others

A Tulsa woman is sharing her story of domestic violence in hopes of helping others.

She says there are many reasons people do not leave abusive relationships, but she wants them to know there are resources available.

Kathryn Starnes says her relationship with her ex-husband seemed normal at the beginning.

"They say love is blind, and it truly was," she said.

But, the relationship did turn violent.

She says the first time, she woke up to a slap in the face, and things escalated from there, like being kicked in the shins with steel-toe boots and being beaten.

"I know that a lot of the times the statistics say that a victim of domestic violence leaves and comes back about seven times, and unfortunately I was that statistic," she said.

She says she eventually did leave with the help of her family and Domestic Violence Intervention Services, who she says saved her life.

"I realized I can't continue this way, and I would say I can't continue to live this way, but I wasn't living," she said.

She received a permanent protective order against him in 2021.

He was in prison on different charges, but he's now been charged with nine counts of violating the protective order. 

She wishes laws did more to protect victims and as a survivor, now wants to advocate for others.

"It's worth it, there is a life out there to live after domestic violence, there's hope for a future," she said.

She finally feels a sense of freedom, but there is always, a nagging fear that may never go away.

She goes to counseling, has a great group of friends around her, and just wants to help others in need.

"It's not necessarily about him and what he did, it's about now I'm out of that and I want to be able to know I didn't go through all of that in vain, to be able to help someone out there, even if it's one person."

If you or someone you know is a victim of domestic violence, you can call DVIS at 918-7-HELPME or 918-743-5763. You can also text SAFE to 207-777 between 8 pm and 1 am.