Modern Morals: My brother’s new date used to bully me in school but he downplayed it when I told him. How will I cope long-term?

I haven’t spoken to my brother in weeks since I approached him about it

'I don’t think there is any responsibility to forgive and forget, but I really think she needs to talk to a therapist.' Photo: Getty

Katie Byrne

Question: I was bullied quite badly by a group of girls when I was in secondary school and it had a big impact on me. I’m in my late twenties now and I still have very bad self-esteem. I don’t trust people easily and I’ve left a few workplaces with cliquey or toxic environments because I can’t risk going through that again.

This has all come back to me recently because my older brother is now dating one of these girls — and she was the absolute worst of them. She humiliated me any chance she got and she said things about my physical appearance that I’ve never got over. In my brother’s defence, he didn’t know about what happened to me in school. It was only when he showed me a photo of her that I told him about it.