Modern Morals: It’s horrible watching my friend being controlled by her husband but I don’t want to lose her

She has lost all her confidence and independence but talks about how lucky she is to be with him

Coercive control erodes a person’s freedom and sense of self. Picture: Getty Images

Katie Byrne

Question: I’m really concerned about my friend, whose husband is controlling, easy to anger and downright rude. He made me and my other friends feel uneasy from day one but they got engaged six months after meeting and they’ve been married for three years now.

My friend used to have a really exciting full-time job but he encouraged her to reduce her hours to two days a week so she could be at home more with their child. He earns a lot of money but her salary is now paid into his bank account. He gives her a certain amount each week and she has to send him an email request if there’s something she’d like to buy for herself.