Modern Morals: An old friend found me on Facebook and wants to meet up but I’m not so keen. Can I say no?

I barely get to see my own friends and not sure we’d have much to say, but don’t want to seem rude

If this is not going to be a positive connection, if it doesn’t feel equal, joyful or a bit of craic, it's alright to question it. Photo: Getty Images

Katie Byrne

Question: A very old friend has got in touch via Facebook from out of the blue. We were once close but drifted apart years and years ago. Now she is messaging me and is really keen to meet up. I’ve replied to her messages and we’ve caught up a little online but she is really pushing to lock down a weekend to meet up this summer. She’s suggesting lunch or dinner and drinks.

The thing is, I am busy and feel I barely get to see my own friends as much as I’d like to and it’s been decades since we were friends so I’m not sure I’ll have much to say, or that we will still get along. I know it isn’t a big deal but it feels a bit like an obligation I can’t get out of. Or can I without being rude?