Asking for a friend: How can I get past feeling nervous about dating, meeting people and having to send nudes?

'Seeing someone we fancy naked is a thrill, so it makes sense that sexual content is a part of the fun of dating for many people'. Photo posed

Caroline West

Q: I’m excited to start college in September, and I’m lucky enough to know lots of people going to the same college, and will be living with two girls. I’m excited for everything, but I feel sort of anxious about dating. I can’t say that I have lots of experience, and definitely don’t have the same experience in comparison to my friends. You could say I was a late bloomer and didn’t really date in school. I am a little worried that there will be pressure to dive into dating, and while I am excited to explore, I don’t want to feel like I have to go out all the time to meet people like my friends do. I’m also a bit worried about how to meet people, and sending nudes. I have mixed feelings around sending nudes and I worry I don’t have the confidence or the comfort levels to be happy sending them. But it feels like that’s what everyone else is doing even now, so I can only imagine this will be a big part of college life too. Am I right to feel a little out of my depth with all these thoughts?

Dr West replies: I don’t think you are overthinking it, I think it’s very human to have these thoughts and to feel unsure of yourself and your path, especially at such big moments of change.