Are you in a long term relationship with little or no sex? If the answer is yes, you need to read this

Experts advise that we should be prioritising enjoyment rather than spontaneous sparks to sustain a strong, satisfying intimate connection in long-term relationships

Many people think early-stage relationship sex is the norm and most desirable, but this isn’t necessarily the case (Getty Images/iStockphoto)

Suzanne Harrington

When couples go to sex therapy because they’ve stopped having intercourse, it usually means two things — that they like and love each other enough to turn up for therapy, and that they may have been overly focusing on desire — or their lack of it.

They may have read a ton of stuff about keeping their sexual spark alive, or if it has puttered out, about rekindling it, and are worried that if they are not feeling spontaneous desire, there’s something wrong with them, their sex connection, and their relationship.