Raven Ross is easy to spot. When we met at the Dumbo House lobby, she immediately stood out in a bright-orange puffer that complements her freshly cut crop of curly hair. Ross is quick to say she’s “not a fashion girlie,” but when she sheds her coat, she reveals a casual TikTok-chic look beneath: baggy light-wash jeans, a Jil Sander tee, and chunky, colorful Nikes.
As we order our food — Ross is having an iced coffee, of course, and an egg-white omelette that needs some extra hot sauce (“It’s definitely giving … egg,” she explains) — she shares a bit of the background that her Love Is Blind arc left out: She is originally from New Orleans, not Texas, and spent the majority of her life training as a dancer. She also tells me another shocking tidbit: Despite being known as a Pilates trainer now, she initially hated it. “I thought it was so boring,” she says. “I had to take a course, and I would fall asleep. I was not into it.”
It wasn’t until she took a reformer class during a college summer break that Ross became the Pilates obsessive the Netflix-viewing public was introduced to in 2022, the one who went viral for exercising during a pod date. For some, she was an instant people’s princess, and for others she was briefly the subject of belabored lectures from people who refer to women as “females.” By the end of the season, nearly everyone was on her side; she appeared refreshingly down-to-earth and normal in her approach to relationships, was genuinely sweet with all her castmates, and turned out to be reliably funny on TikTok. It was hard to be mad at her devotion to Pilates; try her YouTube classes or one of her 30-day programs, and you’ll find that she is a talented fitness instructor, offering programming that is both engaging and progressively challenging.
We’re all aware of the painfully public cheating scandal that followed Ross’s season on Love Is Blind. But after posting through the trauma, she has now fully transcended it. Just over a year later, Ross is living in Brooklyn, is tending to her growing Pilates empire, and is in what seems to be a healthy, happy relationship with someone who is taller than her and has taken her on more than one tropical vacation. She may not have gone home a winner on reality television, but in real life, she has definitely triumphed.
You recently moved to New York. What has it been like adjusting and getting settled?
I really need to put some more time into it. I love living here. Sometimes I cannot believe I moved — it was literally on a whim. But I really have not explored a lot, and that is my goal for 2024: to get out of my apartment and get out of my comfort zone.
When you say impulsive — was it a week? A month? What was the timeline?
It definitely was not a great one, because I paid to get out of my lease. I broke my lease in July, and I moved to Philly for a little just to be closer so I could find an apartment. And then I moved in on September 1. Once I have an idea, I’m gonna do it. I just was so sick of living in Dallas. I lived there for ten years. I was ready. I’ve noticed that I do these little things where I have to change something drastic: my location, my hair. It’s giving girl.
What are your dos and don’ts for a new New Yorker?
Don’t talk shit about New York, because New Yorkers hate that. They want to be the only ones to talk shit about New York, which I love and respect. I think it’s hilarious. I think a do is, like I said, to get out of your comfort zone. Do something different. I love going to coffee shops, but I can’t only do that and feel like I’m exploring the city. So definitely moving and grooving a lot more than you typically would and embracing that.
Do you have a favorite coffee shop?
Let me shout out my favorite neighborhood coffee shop. It’s called Sweetbee in Brooklyn. They have the cutest seasonal holiday lattes.
You’ve shared some of your progress furnishing your NYC apartment. What is your No. 1 rule for apartment décor?
Specifically for a New York apartment, it has to have personality. It really needs to show who you are when you walk in the door. That’s kind of the journey I’m on with my apartment, telling a story. When I first started putting things together, it was like giving, like, neutral space. I had to start getting a bunch of plants, coffee-table books, places that I like, putting up pictures and stuff. I really enjoy other people’s apartments that tell a story about who they are and where they came from.
Is there a friend whose apartment you aspire to?
My manager Shosh’s apartment! She has the ideal West Village apartment with a beautiful sunroom. What do they call it, prewar? What does prewar mean? Like, what war are we talking about?
I think it’s World War I.
Thank you for clarifying. [Laughs.] There’s a lot of wars.
What are your Pilates pet peeves?
As an instructor, I just hate that in the Pilates community, we always have to classify what kind of Pilates we’re teaching; there’s very much a hierarchy, and I just hate that. Move your body to move your body, and find what works for you. You don’t have to shame instructors for throwing in cardio or doing something that Joseph Pilates didn’t do. That was literally a hundred years ago. That was prewar.
@pilatesbodyraven Use some pillows if you dont have a pilates ball! I promise youll be sore 😮💨😮💨😮💨
♬ FANCY (SLOWED + REVERB) - Godlike Pariah
What is it about Pilates that makes it your foundational focus?
I did the whole dance-teacher thing for a while. I feel like I’ve lived 95 lives. I loved it, and I love kids, so that was really fun, but it also just took a lot of my time and energy and I wasn’t able to put as much into my Pilates business. Now, sometimes I want to do a dance-cardio thing — there’s definitely some elements of dance that I’d like to reinfuse into what I’m doing.
I know Pilates was created by a man, but I just feel like it is the perfect complement to specifically a woman’s body — the places where we need to be the strongest. Pilates focuses on strengthening your core, creating a healthy spine, lengthening the muscles that need to be lengthened. I didn’t really know that when I started, but that’s why I’ve always stayed in that modality. Working in studios, my niche was always special populations; the majority of my clients were elderly. It really taught me about why I’m doing Pilates. Things like bone density became so important. My doctor was like, “Your bone density is crazy,” because my bones are thick. But it’s because Pilates really is resistance training.
What is your No. 1 rule for being a Pilates teacher?
Balance is so important. You can go crazy with Pilates, or you can really use it to inform your daily movement.
Has becoming a public figure affected the way you think about privacy as an instructor?
I’m so comfortable with the community that I’ve created, I don’t really think a lot about privacy. I’m able to be myself. Before I started on social media, I thought I’d have an aesthetic page, and it is the opposite. I do not care. It’s the girly community.
You’re in a relationship now that you’re keeping more private. What has it been like to enter that relationship after everything that happened on season three of Love Is Blind?
It’s definitely been a journey for me. I needed some healing. I needed to take things from previous situations and move forward with them. But I knew I wanted to lead with vulnerability, and go in — whether it’s another relationship, or the next era of my life — as the most open person, because what worse could happen, you know?
What’s your No. 1 rule in a relationship?
Everyone says it, but actually having good communication. Being with someone where you can really communicate your boundaries. You can communicate what you like, what you dislike, and it’s not weird. It sounds so easy, but it’s hard to do. If I don’t feel safe to say what I have to say, it’s not right.
What about your No. 1 rule for being on reality TV?
This is probably an unpopular opinion, especially among people who have been on reality TV, but they’ll be like, “Oh my God, like, I was edited so bad.” That happens. But it really is up to you what you say and do, and I think being thoughtful in every single moment is your responsibility. Obviously, I didn’t know that. But I think if you know that going in, being thoughtful and taking time before you act and before you talk will help you stay true to yourself and not be caught up in these crazy emotions. It will help you not feel like, “Oh, I don’t like how I looked,” because you were authentic in what you expressed. I think really, when people come across a certain way, it’s because they don’t come across as authentic.
Love Is Blind has faced several controversies since your season. How do you feel about the show now?
I still think Love Is Blind is one of the greatest dating shows that we’re gonna have. I didn’t get married, but being a part of it taught me so much about relationships. It’s easy as a viewer not to take that from it, because it’s like, Oh, I’m here for the tea. But it really is a genuine experience. So I think it’s iconic. And I know every show has its ebb and flow, and they definitely, you know, have been going through it as a franchise. But I definitely know that at the heart of it, they really believe in what they’re doing.
What is your No. 1 fashion rule?
I am really not a fashion girly, and I was just arguing with my friends about this. My personal No. 1 rule is I have to be comfortable. If clothes are not comfortable to wear, I do not feel comfortable or confident in that space. So that’s really important to me. We’re always talking about trends, whatever. There’s always a thousand trends. It’s way too much. I think focusing on wearing things that flatter your body is the best thing ever and the most classic, elevated, beautiful look that you could achieve.
What’s your No. 1 rule for canceling plans?
Oh my God, cancel it. But the rule is, you need to give some notice. You don’t know if the other person’s getting ready or whatever, so if you even feel the itch coming on to cancel, you need to cancel early so the other person can restructure their day.
We talked about your relationship, but what’s your No. 1 rule for dating as a single person?
I was just with my group of girlfriends this weekend, so I’m trying to think back to what we were talking about. I think especially women my age, we don’t want to take things slow. I was on Love Is Blind, I don’t want to take things slow, obviously. [Laughs.] But I think it’s so good to take things slow. It is not a rush, and if you’re meant to be together, you’re going to be together forever. So not putting too much pressure on it.
Do you think you felt a pressure to get married?
Definitely. Being from the South, everyone is married right out of college, if not the last year of college. I knew that wasn’t gonna be my path, but it was definitely a hard pill to swallow, like, Why am I different? My close friends aren’t married, but literally everyone else is. That pressure is real. But have your own journey. If you’re trying to subscribe to someone else’s journey, it’s not going to be nearly as good.
Do you think it’s okay to ghost after one date?
Yes! What do you owe that man? Or woman? I’m sorry, that is probably an unpopular opinion. It’s okay to ghost. It is okay to ghost. You should do that.
What’s your No. 1 rule for meeting other famous people?
Oh my gosh. I be gettin’ nervous. Honestly, they’re really just people. If you want to strike up a conversation, do it. I’m not super outgoing and social in settings like that, so I tend to not say anything, but we’ll definitely get a little fan picture. Just be cool.
Who would you be most excited to meet?
I know I would have to control myself if it was Beyoncé. Or J.Lo. I’m a huge J.Lo girl.
A lot of your work requires you to be on your phone. Do you have rules around your phone, for yourself or for others?
In the morning, I don’t open social media. The only things I’ll do on my phone in the morning are look at emails or respond to text messages. With others, I really try to limit screen time — especially if we’re eating together, if we’re doing an activity together. I am someone who really takes note of that. I try to be as present as possible in moments that I know could be important.
Do you have any rules for your home?
[Sings] Take your shoes off. And I’ve been seeing this on Instagram — people who use the big light versus the little lights. I hate overhead lights. I don’t ever turn on the lights. I just don’t like it — too harsh. I’ll turn on a lamp.
Do you gossip?
In my early 20s, I had more of a gossipy thing, but I really try to limit it. Because let’s be real, most of the time it’s about other women, and I just don’t like that. I don’t ever want to put down another woman.
What’s your texting style?
Once I know you, I’m gonna send you 18 separate messages. And you can just read them as one. And I will use a lot of emojis.
Do you have a favorite emoji?
The big, watery-eyes one. Or just the straight tears down. It’s very universal.
This interview has been edited and condensed for clarity.
Correction: A previous version of this story stated that Shosh (Shoshannah Cutler) was Ross’s publicist. She is her manager.
