Hi! This is an overwhelming, confusing, scary time. That said, I feel like we really have to talk about social distancing. I don’t know about you, but I find it really tough under the best and most non-pandemic-y of circumstances to make sense of the firehose of information that comes at us day in and day out. So, in what I can only imagine are the almost worst of circumstances, it feels basically impossible. There’s just so much to pay attention to, to sort out, to try to understand.
But I do feel like we’re all starting to get on the same page about the new coronavirus—that it’s an unprecedented crisis that’s wreaking havoc on tens of thousands of lives as well as all of the systems we rely on for our society to, well, function. That if we don’t take it very seriously very immediately, an already terrifying crisis can very well become catastrophic. And yet I think we all have someone (or someones) in our lives who still isn’t taking this seriously. Maybe they aren’t totally convinced that they really do need to stay home. Or maybe they’re kind of on board with mostly staying home but will probably keep going to the gym or something.
I spent this last weekend and a chunk of last week communicating with these someones in my life about how important it is to practice social distancing, and to do it properly. I’m fortunate to work at a place where our whole entire thing is providing people with accurate information that will empower them to make choices for their health and bodies. Not only do I spend every day working with experienced health reporters, I’ve also learned a lot about how to talk about health topics without being condescending or pandering or judgmental or snarky. This skill set has come in really handy as I’ve been talking to the people in my life about how seriously we should all be taking the pandemic. If you’re looking for ways to make an impact right now—ways that don’t compromise your social distancing—having these conversations is a good start.
If you’re trying to figure out what to say to these people, you’ve come to the right place. Below you’ll find the three things I did/said this weekend that actually led to real behavior change in my circle (which then led to changes in their circles too). Feel free to copy and paste some or all of this to your people. (Also, it’s absolutely crucial that the information we’re spreading right now is accurate, so if someone asks you a question you don’t know the answer to, tell them that, and refer them to a trusted source, like SELF or any of the several places listed here.)
1. I sent this plainly but strongly worded email to my family.
When I realized that loved ones (my 78-year-old parents, my brothers, cousins, and aunt) might not realize how dangerous it is (for some of them and all of us) to be out and about right now, I panicked. I mean, I really freaked out. I wondered how I could get them to take this seriously. So I wrote this email.
Please copy and paste as you see fit and email it far and wide.
Hi!
As most of you know I am beating the drum of practicing social distancing starting right now because of how important it is to flatten the curve and help prevent the spread of coronavirus, which is potentially deadly for anyone who’s immunocompromised or over 60. Staying inside your home until further notice helps prevent transmission of the virus, and that is just what we need to do to prevent the kind of thing we are seeing in Northern Italy—such widespread infection that hospitals do not have the resources to treat everyone, causing a literal collapse of their health care system as doctors and nurses have to choose who gets treatment and who dies—literally.
And getting it when you’re younger or in good health is no picnic—it’s essentially pneumonia. You may have read about cases in younger people being “mild,” and all that means is that they didn’t require hospitalization. “Mild” for coronavirus still means you are extremely ill.
- Please read this article from SELF that our editor in chief wrote: “If You’re Waiting for Someone to Tell You What to Do, Here It Is.”
- This is also tremendously helpful: “The Dos and Don’ts of ‘Social Distancing’”
- If you aren’t convinced of the seriousness of all this, please listen to this 30-minute episode of the New York Times podcast The Daily that puts everything in useful perspective.
Please, please, please cancel all nonessential trips to everywhere including small gatherings at friends’ houses—restaurants, bars, public transportation—all of it. Use FaceTime to connect with people. Practice good infection control, and if you have a fever and a cough, call your doctor. If you can work from home, definitely do. If you can take PTO, now is the time to do it. If you are worried about money from missing work, please text me, and Andrea and I will help.
I know it sounds extreme but this is an extreme situation.
The reason I am being a monster about this is that I think that I have increased access to good information about the pandemic because SELF has been doing a ton of reporting on it (you can see it all here) and I’m seeing that a lot of people are not really aware of how serious this is simply because they don’t have the access I happen to be afforded because of my job.
Love you all, please stay safe and help keep everyone else safe too!
Please text me if any of this doesn’t make sense or you want to talk it through.
Love,
Sally
2. I posted on Facebook inviting people to message me if they had questions about social distancing.
Over this past weekend, social distancing finally had its big moment. People were staying inside and talking about staying inside. There were memes! But I could tell from what I was seeing on social media that not everyone was on the same page about what social distancing really means or whether it is something we all really have to do. So after spending the day passive-aggressively posting on Twitter and Facebook and hoping that my friends who were not yet fully or properly practicing distancing would see it, I realized I need a more direct (less obnoxious) approach.
So I posted on Facebook. I just wanted to give people the opportunity to reach out and ask for clarification about how this all works, what the limits are, what it means in practice, what things are okay and not okay, et cetera. A few people reached out to me and asked me for clarification on some of the more confusing aspects of how to practice social distancing. I was able to explain things and also send along a couple of links.
Again, I’m fortunate to have access to a ton of good information, and I feel informed enough to answer questions, confident that I’m sharing good, accurate information. If you’re not so sure that you’re ready to share information, I get that. But I bet you will after you read a few good explainers, like this one about how coronavirus spreads and this article from The Atlantic that explains in super-accessible ways what social distancing is and how we must to practice it. SELF also compiled all the places you can get trustworthy, accurate information about coronavirus here.
Here’s what I posted:
Hey gang! If you don’t understand what social distancing entails or the theory/reasoning behind it—or if you aren’t sure if and to what extent you should be doing it—PM me and we’ll talk it through. Thanks to my work I have accurate, thoroughly vetted information.
3. I texted my friends, and I didn’t hide my goddamn agenda.
I’d emailed family, I’d subtweeted friends, and I’d posted on Facebook inviting people to reach out. That left anyone who wasn’t a member of my family and anyone who isn’t on social media. So I contacted them the old-fashioned way. I texted them. To say hi, to see what’s up. To ask if they’d heard the good news about social distancing. I found that some friends actually didn’t really realize that cities were closing schools and placing restrictions on nonessential business. They didn’t know that the CDC asked people to practice social distancing in earnest. So I shared what I knew, explained what was up, and I offered to send the email I had sent to my family; I promised it would be brief and plain and easy to follow.
Do I feel like a lecture-y ding-dong as I email and message my loved ones? I kinda do, yeah. It’s hard not to feel that way when everything you’re saying feels like an enormous buzzkill—like you’re taking away the last thing people have that makes them feel all right. But the alternative—that we all live our lives as usual and put exponentially more people at risk and do irreparable harm to human beings and the systems we need—is so much worse than being a lecture-y ding-dong.
The situation with coronavirus is evolving rapidly. The advice and information in this story is accurate as of press time, but it’s possible that some data points and recommendations have changed since publication. We encourage readers to stay up to date on news and recommendations for their community by checking with their local public health department.
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