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Scared to have sex in pregnancy - am I alone?

5 replies

Essexgalhere · 01/11/2022 07:31

Is anyone else anxious to have sex during their pregnancy?

Quick background: I am 13 weeks pregnant with a singleton pregnancy. Unfortunately I have had 2 miscarriage’s before at (single) 8 weeks and (twins) 9 weeks.

Sex didn’t cause my miscarriages, but for some reason I am really paranoid about having sex with DH this time.

I feel a bit silly, but I cannot imagine having sex this whole pregnancy because of nerves. My friends who have never had losses (not sure if this is why I’m scared?) think I’m worrying too much and that baby will be fine.

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salemsongbird · 01/11/2022 07:39

Not alone at all. I have also had losses and in my one successful pregnancy I was too scared to go near DH from the moment I got the positive test.
I think if your partner is decent they should understand and support you - mine never pressured me once!

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hulahoopqueen · 01/11/2022 07:42

I just turned 13 weeks this weekend just gone, I have literally had sex once since finding out - which was at 3 weeks 😅
I feel very very sorry for DH, though to be fair to him he's been a bloody trouper.
But no you're definitely not alone. What worked for us was to gradually built up in intimacy - more kissing, snuggling, whatever, and let things take place naturally. Putting pressure on myself made me massively withdraw.

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Wrongsideofpennines · 01/11/2022 07:44

We lost twins halfway through pregnany. In my subsequent pregnancy we didn't have sex until I was about 39 weeks and we were trying to evict them! Whenever we discussed it my husband assured me he only wanted what was best for me and the baby and he would never suggest something he knew I was extremely anxious about.

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Essexgalhere · 01/11/2022 07:49

Thank you for your replies!
Partner has been really good and hasn’t pressured me, I think it is myself that pressures me because sometimes I’m my own worst enemy

I have spoke to my midwife about this early on and she said that it is understandable with my anxiety but after 12 weeks I should feel more at ease. I don’t and that’s why I guess I’ve worried.

TBH I probably won’t have sex until after baby is here but I know that as long as me, partner and baby are all okay it is for the best

By the way I understand and know deep down that sex doesn’t cause miscarriage, just in case anyone is reading this and worries. It is just me and my anxiety

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Mrmoody · 01/11/2022 08:55

With DS I was petrified after 15 weeks as I had a large bleed the day after we had sex (Not at all related the placenta had started to detach but he's happy and healthy!) And before then was too unwell to even consider it, my husband didn't pressure me at all but also didn't really get it- don't feel bad, do what is right and remember you'll only be pregnant for a set amount of time!

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