What My Son’s Superheroes Taught Me about Fire and Nice

Earlier this year, I wrote about the startup powers of Fire and Nice  (a.k.a. grit and karma). One of my fondest memories at DataPop is of an exercise we did with the team where we asked everyone to share their personal experiences of fire and nice. The stories people told were amazing and eye-opening. There were tales of overcoming childhood disabilities, the trauma of friends that died too soon, family hardships and dramatic career changes. Every story was inspiring, and each highlighted how fortunate I am to be working with so many incredible people who live the principles of fire and nice. While we had always been a values-driven team, learning about everyone’s stories of grit and giving back inspired a more profound bond across the company. Given this experience, I encourage all values-oriented companies to try a similar team building exercise. In an effort to bring the idea to life, I thought it might be helpful to share the story I shared with the team. 

Like most people, I have experienced challenges in my life. However, there is one experience where I see the powers of fire and nice up close and personal. Some of you may already know about my son Noah. But for those of you who don’t, a little background: Noah is my oldest son. He was born with a genetic disorder that is so rare it took my wife, me and dozens of doctors more than three years to diagnose. Noah is a sweet boy who has the symptoms of cerebral palsy, a movement disorder, and severe intellectual disabilities.

As you can imagine, our initial reaction to finding out about Noah’s condition was a deep sense of grief. This was combined with a basic struggle to get through each day in a way that could help our little man in any way we could. It was a challenge on many levels, but Noah's sweet disposition, unmatchable grit and his flashes of a heart-melting smile ignited our fire. We also came to realize that there are some truly amazing people out there who live the principles of fire and nice everyday. Family, friends, teachers, therapists, babysitters, co-workers and even strangers reach out to Noah not just to nurture him, but to expect from him more than what others might not see as possible. Being supported by Noah’s everyday superheroes encourages us to bring these same principles into the lives of others whenever we can. And as with the DataPop team stories and those that others have shared with us along the way, these remarkable people with their incomparable attitudes inspire us to live a full life with Noah. 

This was the personal story I shared with the team. Obviously, these kinds of experiences are meaningful far beyond fighting the good fight at a startup. They resonate throughout our lives, inspiring fortitude and compassion when they are needed most. When the DataPop team shared their stories it changed the company, and taught me a lot about the value of being open with one other, even in a professional environment. Not only did it bring us closer together, the exercise showed us that there are many different ways to combine grit with kindness. But the most common thread that materialized from our discussions was that when doing the seemingly impossible, it is best to turn towards those that share these same values.

If you believe in building a values-driven company, consider taking the time to ask your team about their favorite personal fire and nice story. It may feel risky, or nosy, or admittedly like a mild therapy session, but it has the potential to light up your team in a way you can’t imagine.