"AMP" Up Women: Getting the Respect We Deserve

(written with Dr. Suzanne de Janasz)

Despite progress made, some men--seemingly unaware of the privilege being male affords them--continue to put down women and their achievements to salve their own meager standing. The recent op-ed in the Wall Street Journal isn’t the first, and it won’t be the last. It is a product of a society constructed to shame people of all genders into conformity with their specified roles.

From the time they are very young, boys are socialized to compete: “I can throw farther than you,” “My bike is bigger than your bike.” And girls are socialized to connect: “My mom also wears glasses.” “I love dogs, too!” As they age, these boys and girls maintain this communication approach lest they be ridiculed as too soft, or too aggressive, respectively. Parallel to this norm is that of self-promotion: Boys should loudly share their “winning” accolades, and girls shouldn’t.

It’s no wonder the man behind the Dr.-Biden-should-drop-her-title piece feels justified in putting Dr. Biden down, denigrating the degree she earned, suggesting his honorary doctorate is somehow equivalent, and intimating that unless one has earned an MD, one should never use the title “Dr.”                              

Culture is slow to change. And pieces like the one in WSJ reflect the mindset of those who prefer the status quo. We need change agents…and we need allies. As professors and consultants, we have had our fair share of being addressed as “Mrs.”, “Ma’am,” or our first name by our students, peers, and participants in our corporate training programs.

In the case of Dr. Biden, and other women who face this kind of behavior daily—whether it’s a mistake or an intended slight—it’s not easy to assert oneself. A simple “please call me Dr.” can be seen as pretentious or dare we say “bitchy” in our corporate and academic environments where female self-promotion is “unladylike.”

So, what can we do to help women with credentials get the respect they deserve? We suggest AMP-ing up women and their achievements by using the strategies Amplify, Mobilize, and Platform.         

Amplify women’s voices to help others refocus when women’s inputs are ignored, discounted, or unrightfully credited by or to another. While we certainly recommend amplifying to male allies, we suspect women are more likely to notice when fellow women’s voices are stifled, and should therefore deliberately embrace this strategy to support their workplace sisters. Try formulations such as “Like Dr. Biden said, I think it’s a good idea that we….” Correct others when credit is misattributed and restate another woman’s point when it is interrupted or ignored. 

Mobilize women by being intentional about getting them in the game. When it seems a woman is being silent (or otherwise “ladylike”) about a past, relevant achievement, throw a softball in her direction. “Dr. Biden, didn’t you solve a similar problem at your last post?” Recognizing that a woman can experience backlash for self-promoting or speaking up, or that she likely missed out on an opportunity because of assumed priorities (i.e., the “mommy track”), be deliberate about shining a light on her ambition and achievements. Ask direct questions when a woman in uncharacteristically silent (e.g., “Gina, what concerns to you have about this proposal?”), as opposed to the generic and easily avoided “Does anyone have any concerns?” Also, consider helping expands a woman’s network by connecting her with important senior people in an organization or the industry whenever the opportunity arises.

Finally, “platform” other women by providing a stage or podium for greater visibility. Introducing her with her relevant experience and accomplishments is a great way to combat the issue of self-promotion, especially since women tend to avoid this, thinking instead that their capabilities speak for themselves.  We’ve seen this countless times in our classrooms and consulting engagements. Most men don’t think twice about letting people know what schools they graduated from, what car they drive, and which big-shots they personally know. 

Women have been socialized and rewarded to put others’ achievements before their own…even if it ends up hurting their own career advancement in the long-run. Providing a platform helps increase the credibility of a woman disincentivized to shine a spotlight on herself can help her command the respect she deserves in the boardroom, at the bargaining table, and in her leadership role. 

These recognition and promotional strategies are likely to cause a ripple effect—when you AMP up other women, others will follow your example your example and do the same…including for you. So go ahead, unabashedly call us Dr. and help us finally get the respect we deserve.