Your colleague is defensive about their work. How can you effectively give constructive feedback to them?

To give constructive feedback effectively to a defensive colleague about their work, choose a calm and private moment. Use "I" statements to express your observations and feelings, providing specific examples and suggestions for improvement. Listen actively to their perspective and encourage collaboration on addressing any issues. Reinforce positive aspects of their work and maintain a constructive, supportive tone throughout the conversation.

Start with the Situation, describe the Behaviour, and explain the Impact. Provide feedback in a private and relaxed setting. Begin with strengths before addressing areas for improvement. Stick to specific, observable behaviours rather than personal attributes. Show understanding of their perspective and encourage dialogue. Work together to find actionable steps for improvement.

Turn to GenAI for the right questions to ask. Explain to ChatGPT the situation and it will give you a clear outline of how, what to say, and how to approach the personality style. This is what I love about AI. I put this into AI and this is what I got: 1. "Can you walk me through your current process for this task?" 2. "What challenges have you been facing recently with your work?" 3. "Are there any resources or support you feel would help improve your outcomes?" 4. "How do you feel about the recent feedback you've received?" 5. "What strategies have you found most effective in handling your workload?" 6. "Can you share a recent success you've had and what contributed to it?" And watch your tone, body language and expressions.

Understand their perspective and acknowledge their effort without necessarily agreeing with their methods. Active listening is essential to grasp their concerns and challenges. This approach fosters an open dialogue and ensures they feel supported rather than criticized. Focus on specific examples and suggest areas for improvement constructively. Through empathetic communication, aim to create a supportive environment that encourages growth and strengthens relationships.

Adam Grant suggests moving away from the "compliment sandwich" approach when giving feedback. Instead, he recommends: - Explain your reasons: Explain to the person why you're providing feedback, emphasizing your belief in their potential. - Show humility: Avoid appearing superior by acknowledging your learning journey. - Ask permission: Check if the person is open to receiving feedback. - Have an open dialogue: Engage in a transparent conversation rather than a one-sided critique. Grant emphasizes that these approaches can make feedback feel more constructive and less threatening. He notes that transparency and genuine care for the person's growth can lead to a better reception of even difficult feedback.

prioritize objective facts over subjective opinions. Focus on specific, observable aspects of their work rather than making generalized critiques. This approach helps keep the conversation grounded in tangible examples, minimizing the potential for emotional reactions. By emphasizing concrete evidence, such as measurable outcomes or specific actions, you provide a clear path for improvement without attacking their character. This method fosters a constructive dialogue aimed at professional growth and mutual understanding. In my experience, sticking to factual observations has resulted in more productive feedback sessions and strengthened working relationships. It creates an environment where feedback is constructive, respectful.

Here are examples: - Use specific examples: Instead of "Your reports are messy," try "In the last report, three tables were missing labels." - Provide numbers when possible: "The presentation ran 15 minutes over time" is more evident than "The presentation was too long." - Describe actions, not traits: Say, "I noticed you arrived 10 minutes late to the last three meetings," over "You're always late." - Compare to set standards: "The project was delivered two days past the agreed deadline" is more factual than "You're slow." Use direct quotes: "In the client email, you wrote..." can be more accurate than paraphrasing. Avoid generalizations: Replace "You never respond to emails" with "I didn't receive responses to my last three emails."

Here is how you can use "I" statements to keep things positive: - Say "I noticed..." instead of "You always..." - Use "I felt..." rather than "You made me feel..." - Try "I think..." instead of "You should..." For example: - "I noticed the report was submitted after the deadline" vs "You're always late" - "I think adding more data could strengthen the argument" vs "Your argument is weak" Using "I" statements keeps the focus on observations, not accusations. It helps the other person stay open to your feedback instead of getting defensive.

Use "I" statements to convey observations without sounding accusatory. Frame your comments in terms of your own perspective, like "I noticed some key figures were missing," rather than directly criticizing. This approach shifts the focus to your observations and feelings, fostering a more open and constructive dialogue. By highlighting how certain aspects impact your work or understanding, you encourage mutual understanding and improvement. This method promotes a collaborative environment where feedback is received positively, leading to meaningful professional growth and strengthened relationships.

it's effective to offer solutions or alternatives along with your observations. Instead of just pointing out what's wrong, guide them towards improvements they can make. This approach demonstrates your commitment to their development and gives them actionable steps to follow, which can empower them and reduce defensiveness. For instance, I've found that suggesting specific ways to enhance a project's clarity or organization helps colleagues see constructive feedback as a pathway to improvement. By focusing on solutions, you shift the conversation from criticism to collaboration, fostering a more positive and productive environment. This method not only supports their professional growth but also strengthens your working relationship.

Lo que tenemos que tener en cuenta es que dar retroalimentación constructiva a un colega a la defensiva requiere tacto y empatía. Primero, elige un momento adecuado y un lugar privado para la conversación. Comienza destacando aspectos positivos de su trabajo. Usa declaraciones "yo" en lugar de "tú" para expresar tu perspectiva sin parecer acusatorio. Sé específico sobre los puntos que necesitan mejorar, ofreciendo ejemplos concretos y claros. Ofrece sugerencias prácticas y viables para mejorar. Invita a la conversación y escucha sus preocupaciones. Recuerda, la empatía y la claridad son clave para que la retroalimentación sea recibida de manera constructiva.

First, build trust. Create enough, psychological safety for giving and receiving feedback. I recommend using Charles Feltman’s trust framework. - Care: caring about the interests of the other person, or at the very least, about team goals. - Sincerity: saying what you mean, I mean what you say. - Reliability: doing what you say you would do, and having the tools and resources to do it. - Competence - having the ability to do what you say, you would do, or being upfront about limited competence.