emma's Reviews > Big Time

a book that claims to be funny gets me every time.

now let's individually rate some stories!

STORY 1: BRIDAL BODY
this is the most heavy handed unfunny thing i have ever read. this is like if the quirky best friend character in a rom com was forced at gunpoint to write a short story on the spot. i am filled with raw fear at what the rest of this collection holds, because we appear to be beginning at rock bottom.
rating: 1

STORY 2: THE FIRST INFLUENCER
another title that promises complete unoriginality. i can't wait!
this was already sickeningly unfunny (and also sickeningly gross) and then boom. rape joke.
rock bottom is carving itself away to reveal a deeper, rockier bottom. which is a bummer because the ending of this would have been kind of cool, maybe making a good point. if i had felt generous. which i do not.
rating: 1

STORY 3: THE SNOWMAN
what we in the industry would call a one-joke premise.
i'm not in the industry.
rating: 2

STORY 4: DINNER AT EIGHT
the joke of this story is that the narrator keeps switching and first is anti-semitic and then is sexist and then is ableist and then is racist.
what fun.
rating: 2

STORY 5: BIRTHDAY GIRL
what the hell is the point of any of this.
rating: 1.5

STORY 6: MY DEAREST CAROLINE
okay this was actually very funny.
rating: 4

STORY 7: THE ADVENTURE OF THE MISTAKEN RIGHT SWIPE
jesus even this title is lame.
super basic sherlock holmes situation, and also the right swipe in question was not even a mistake.
rating: 1.5

STORY 8: MONSTER GOO
a super-cool story about a fifty foot tall teenage boy getting f*cked by animals and inanimate objects against his will in exchange for money.
rating: 1

STORY 9: ONE THOUSAND AND ONE NIGHTS
there were moments that were funny in this that only made me more sad that the rest of this book is so not.
rating: 2.5

STORY 10: FIRST KID, SECOND KID
finally, some eldest child representation. i'm assuming.
ugh god i hate parenting humor. add it to my list of reasons to never have children.
rating: 1.5

STORY 11: THE BOYFRIEND IDENTITY
please, for the love of god...tell me this isn't supposed to be a pun on the bourne identity.
...
it was.
rating: 1.5

STORY 12: THE SECRET MEETING OF THE WOMEN'S CLUB
this f*cking sucks so f*cking much holy jesus. all powerful women secretly have penises. taylor swift denies the holocaust. basic man and blackface engager justin trudeau is labeled "honorary woman." gayle king's and ava duvernay's sole jobs are to prevent jane fonda from engaging in cultural appropriation. harriet tubman's life's work is a sequel to first wives club.
if i die unexpectedly tell the world this story is the cause.
rating: 1

STORY 13: THE TALE OF MR. MITTLEBURY, MILLENNIAL PIG
please...no...not millennial jokes...i'm so weak...i can't take anymore...the words "avocado toast" will take me out for good...
rating: 1

STORY 14: BIG TIME
the titular story. the closer. the hundred-pager.
so close to the end of this suffering...yet so far.
this wasn't even that bad but i don't care. I'M DONE!!!!
rating: 2.5

OVERALL
i think this was one of the worst things i have ever read.
rating: 1.5

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challenging myself to read as many review copies as possible this month because i'm addicted to projects!

ARC 1: spaceman of bohemia
ARC 2: in search of us
ARC 3: aerialists
ARC 4: the sound of drowning
ARC 5: unleaving
ARC 6: the other side of luck
ARC 7: romanov
ARC 8: the storm keeper's island
ARC 9: gut check
ARC 10: when force meets fate
ARC 11: sisters in hate
ARC 12: before i disappear
ARC 13: big time