i have not read this book, and i do not wish to impugn it unfairly, but as a gut reaction to that title, we've really reached rock bottom in terms of i have not read this book, and i do not wish to impugn it unfairly, but as a gut reaction to that title, we've really reached rock bottom in terms of "acceptable scenarios for romance novels." while i am sure that situations exist in which it is not morally reprehensible for an italian to retain a pregnant prisoner, i am as hard-pressed as giles corey to think of one. but it does make me wonder what's next in harlequin's line of non-con romance novels:
the sheikh’s subway frottage
the billionaire’s sex dungeon for runaways
the cowboy lurking in the closet of your air b n b
the tycoon wore gloves
the CEO’s office bathroom cam
the cashier in the cowboy’s spank bank
the foreigner pretends there is no word for “consent” in his language
the uber driver
please continue to brainstorm with me here - together we could become as wealthy as a sex-trafficking viking.
that savagely creepy smile, the word "fatherhood" suspended at nipple-height in serial killer font for no HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!!!
oh, that cover!
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that savagely creepy smile, the word "fatherhood" suspended at nipple-height in serial killer font for no reason at all, and that "little boy, this is how you hold a bat...for MURRRDERRRR!!" gleam in his eye - it terrifies me and fills me with glee all at once.
what i understand from the plot synopsis - this unloved, lonely guy creates his own family by collecting foster children, and now he wants to absorb this mother-and-son combo into his clan, but she's a little skittish and he can't lose her. luckily, he's a veterinarian, so he knows his way around a scalpel! this has all the romance of a "build your own stalker cult" lego playset.
in fact, the first thing i thought of when i saw that cover model was:
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and we all know how his extended family turned out.
when i first saw this book title, i had two thoughts.
the first is obvious: is this anything like the oregon trail?
because raising a kid is hard enougwhen i first saw this book title, i had two thoughts.
the first is obvious: is this anything like the oregon trail?
because raising a kid is hard enough without all the additional setbacks
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and it all only ends one way
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there's no romance in dysentery.
the second is more specific to me, but it totally made me laugh, so i have to record it here for my own sake. it's the reaction i had to Moll Flanders, where the main character swans through this book, dripping babies from her body like a tree sheds leaves, and that's all i could picture when reading this - moll flanders, leaving a bread crumb trail of infants behind her as she went about on her silly adventures.
and that's what it's like to be in my head....more
okay, i have appended a list of questions/musings to the end of this because i have been thinking WAY too much about this.
someone else please read thokay, i have appended a list of questions/musings to the end of this because i have been thinking WAY too much about this.
someone else please read this pw review and tell me if i am hallucinating, or drunk, or otherwise misunderstanding this plot:
In the first of her Northern Fire series, Monroe (the Children of the Moon series) introduces Cailkirn, Alaska, the small town Kitty Grant’s ancestors founded nearly 200 years ago. Eight years after Kitty escaped Cailkirn, she returns to rebuild her life, following her divorce from an abusive husband who sent her spiraling into anorexia. Tack MacKinnon runs a hiking tour company that caters to tourists from cruise ships. He was heartbroken when Kitty broke off their longtime friendship and got married (though her spouse remains in California), and now he’ll do anything to protect his heart while helping her recover her health. With immediate chemistry between them, he uses casual, hot sex to bribe her to eat. Tack’s insistence on pretending to be just friends hamstrings the development of romance; the jealousy and misunderstandings are never balanced by tenderness. The repeated introduction of flat protagonists for future books gives the novel an unsatisfying episodic feel.
he is using his cock to cure her anorexia??? tell me more about medicinal cock!!! i have many questions.
okay, so here are more musings
so, this whole idea of using sex as a way to "cure" anorexia. it's fascinating to me. because this is a romance novel, so i imagine that the focus is more on the casual, hot sex than on a thoughtful discussion of the legitimate psychological suffering of someone with an eating disorder. i'm assuming that the anorexia is treated as a pesky little obstacle than the all-encompassing hell it is to real people. i mean, if it can be overcome by sex, it's just an affectation, right?? and by casual sex, which is a detail i love because it's so distancing. no emotions here, just bringing my carrot and my stick to your silly refusal to eat!
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and then i was thinking that in all my forays into the world of bizarro-erotica, i have yet to read gingerbread man porn. which i am sure exists; i just haven't gone looking for it. but i think that if this book is going to make claims that there's a penis powerful enough to cure anorexia, it had better be made out of gingerbread.
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or maybe he just uses it like a fork and covers it in pâté or something.
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i guess it's a good thing she's not bulimic. although then we could play a new game called "pâté or vomit?" which would probably be a fun challenge. here, you take round one:
1)
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2)
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3)
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4)
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that last one is a "gimmie." birds LOVE pâté.
and i can't help but wonder, does this method work for other disorders? have we been funneling money into cancer research without first investigating this guy's cock?? (because i assume the magical properties are specific to this one guy's cock, otherwise we would have figured it out before now.)
it's almost worth reading the book to have these questions answered.
feel free to do the legwork for me - i'll be waiting right here. ...more
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