“All I’m saying is, when one looks at it from the point of view of audience, one does not immediately discern the full dramatic potential of reflectiv
“All I’m saying is, when one looks at it from the point of view of audience, one does not immediately discern the full dramatic potential of reflective sheet adjustment. I ask you, Stanley, who would read a story on that?”
weeeee would—we miners of the free tor shorts, chipping away through the already-reads to excavate this funny little nugget from 2012.
it's wodehouse-in-space; a bit of absurdist british humor, with wordplay, good manners, rude gestures, and tea, featuring two chaps performing a necessary, but dull, job in order to keep earth safe from any dratted asteroids.
they are intrepid, heroic, and...easily distracted.
Stanley turned from the porthole. “I say, George.”
“Yes, Stanley?”
“Speaking of light effects.”
“Speak away, Stanley.”
“From my vantage point, there seems to be a red light on your screen, appearing and disappearing with some rapidity. Were I asked to describe it, I might be so bold as to say it is flashing.”
“‘Flashing�� would be quite a good word to use here, Stanley. It is the mot juste, I daresay. Well done.” He silently toasted his shipmate with his flask, and Stanley returned the gesture with a smile. They companionably sipped their tea.
Eventually Stanley bestirred himself.
“Well, George?”
“Well what, Stanley?”
“Are you going to answer it?”
George shook his head in fond indulgence. “It’s very generous of you, Stanley, to give me the opportunity, but there’s simply no need. The mot juste can have no answer. There’s no topping it, you see. By definition. It’s the last word on the subject. No, that’s one in your column, Stanley, and no mistake.”
“I meant answering the, um, urgent message.”
it's fun and silly and short and free, and as a bonus, you will learn why isaac asimov is one of science fiction's notable masters of sensuality.
this book is every bit as good (but not twice as good) as vieler's first one, Treat!, which i reviewed over here.
it's another photographic cel[image]
this book is every bit as good (but not twice as good) as vieler's first one, Treat!, which i reviewed over here.
it's another photographic celebration of that desperate doggy joy when treats are nigh
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these! dogs! love! treats! so! much!
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this time around, there's less of an emphasis on the flappy jowls and comical expressions of treat-seeking mutts—FLASHING BACK TO THIS GOOFBALL:
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here, it's about relationships; whether between dog-and-dog or dog(s)-and-treats.
it features a wide range of breeds and an equally wide range of dogs' reactions-to-treats.
some don't seem to care about the proximity of noms
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although those soulful eyes tell a different story
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a story of LOSS and MISSED OPPORTUNITIES.
speaking of, vieler really missed an opportunity here to call this project THE HUNGER GAMES, because for all the doggoes who don't seem to care, there are as many that care TOO MUCH, and in the wake of their clumsy enthusiasm, everyone's gonna go home hungry
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yes, there will be clonking
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and sometimes the clonking will have teeth.
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here is where i note that the author very responsibly includes a tip in his intro:
All dog pairs have been carefully selected. The depicted animals often live in the same household or have known each other for many years. Please do not try to take similar pictures with unknown dogs.
because in the game of two dogs, one treat—chaos reigns.
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and back to relationships—some dogs are very good at gobbling, while their pal misses out
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while some pairs are equally bad at this
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and some seem to be treating the experience as a spectacle instead of a gustatory opportunity
look, i never expected i'd ever be reading a Cathy book, either. when i was a little kid hunched over the sunday funnies eating my smurfberry c[image]
look, i never expected i'd ever be reading a Cathy book, either. when i was a little kid hunched over the sunday funnies eating my smurfberry crunch, i'd read the strip because it was there, and i'm a diehard completist; cover-to-covering the comics sections of the TWO papers we got at the home, but the whole "ack, weight gain" and "ack, relationship woes!" content-cycle didn't really speak to my personal life experience at the time, so it was very much a scan-and-move-on kinda thing.
but in 2020, connor got stuck back in his missouri hometown during lockdown, and started reading his local paper's comics pages again, and—becoming even more connor-y in the cabin fever of it all, got a little obsessed with chronicling how various comics were addressing (or not addressing) covid.
somehow he stumbled upon cathy guisewite's insta, discovering that not only had she adapted her daily strip into a series of single-panel comics that were actually reflecting what was happening in the world, but that they were funny and comforting and relatable.
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by the time the comics were published in book-form, he was back here where he belongs and he had me pick up a copy for him. skeptical, but curious as a kitten, i read it myself before handing it over, and i gotta admit—this is some highly relatable content and apparently, the pandemic has made me more Cathy-like than i ever dreamed i would be back in the days of colorful sugarmilk-and-honey, particularly in the realms of covid-era attention span:
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lofty ambitions vs. executable reality:
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and comfort/anxiety eating:
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i think we're all a little bit cathy now, but here's a test to see.* have u had this reaction to any media in the past two years?
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i sure have.
anyway, i hope you have enjoyed this story of me and Cathy 2021—a tale of growth and transformation.
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* this test will not work on "covid is a hoax"-ers, or unvaccinated sociopaths who care more about small inconveniences to daily life than not killing someone's grandma. y'all motherfuckers don't deserve Cathy. <-- welcome to a sentence i never thought i'd type.
i loved this guy's first book, Peanut Butter Dogs, SO MUCH that it's an absolute crime that this follow-up WITH EVENPEANUT! BUTTER!! PUPPIES!!!
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i loved this guy's first book, Peanut Butter Dogs, SO MUCH that it's an absolute crime that this follow-up WITH EVEN SMALLER DOGS has been out for more than four months without my being aware of it.
i was so excited to see this, i bought it on the spot, without so much as flipping through its pages. i for sure didn't have the willpower to wait until i was back at work, where i could have ordered it into the store and taken advantage of my employee discount.
i needed these puppies IMMEDIATELY, you see...
here you will find more than seventy puppies (okay, seventy-one, but still) enjoying the pleasures of eating peanut butter and getting it all over their fuzzy snouts.
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PERRY - 8 weeks, labrador/pit bull mix
but this time around, they are all rescues:
I chose to photograph only rescue dogs for Peanut Butter Puppies to help bring continued awareness to the importance of pet adoption. To save an animal’s life is an amazing privilege. Beginning here, and moving forward, I have committed to only featuring rescue animals in any of my books.
not only is he good-deeding his model choices by focusing on rescues, but he's also choosing to highlight specific breeds that get a bad rap, so there are a lot of pitties up in here:
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CALI - 5 months, pit bull mix
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ZOLA - 8 weeks, pit bull mix
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SUNNY - 10 months, pit bull mix (oh my god that EAR!)
and this little one i never would've clocked as a pitty:
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BAILEY - 5 months, pit bull mix
the pitty-heavy focus is fine by me—i root for every pit bull competitor on america's top dog unless they're up against minion, who OWNS my heart
murray repeats the safety tips put forth in the first book w/r/t dogs and peanut butter and some guidelines about acceptable quantities of pb consumption for pups,
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although some of these seem to be disregarding his suggestions
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WALLABY - 7 months, blue heeler
basically, it’s all about the dog-to-peanut-butter ratio.
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SCARLETT - 10 months, saint bernard
she can have it ALL.
interlude to play "who wore it best?—peanut butter edition:"
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SHELDON - 1 year, shetland sheepdog/pit bull mix
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LILY - 1 year, dachshund
but really, all you need to know about this book is tongues
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ECHO - 4 months, boxer mix
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QUINT - 1 year, dalmatian
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CROWLER - 7 months, pit bull mix
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ARLO - 4 months, doberman pinscher
and if a little peanut butter could turn mr ed into a star
oooh, goodreads choice awards finalist for best humor 2021! WHAT WILL HAPPEN LET’S FIND OUT!
having enjoyed phoebe robinson's stand-up and sketch comedoooh, goodreads choice awards finalist for best humor 2021! WHAT WILL HAPPEN LET’S FIND OUT!
having enjoyed phoebe robinson's stand-up and sketch comedy, i picked up this book in the middle of a bleak-week, hoping to be wrenched out of my mood with laffs. but it's not that kind of book. it's less a humor-humor book than a book of essays written by a humorous person—the subject matter is often serious and important, but she softens the blow(s) with her comedic sensibilities.
written during the quarantimes, many of the essays address the concerns that had us all glued to our newsfeeds throughout that whole experience, nursing our collective anxieties with increasingly horrific stories about the pandemic, BLM marches, escalating violence, and police brutality.
we were all put through an emotional wringer by the events of 2020 (and its ongoing repercussions). some people used that time for introspection and clarity, and some used it to marathon The Great British Baking Show and Grey's Anatomy. twice. each.
phoebe robinson falls into the first category, and even though everything's still fragile and uncertain, she is Doing Her Part to help us all heal just a little bit.
The best I can offer at this moment is that I am a funny person and if I can make you laugh and forget your problems for a moment then I did something. Although I'm not on the front lines, I'm still living in this, too, and it's probable that my way of looking at life could be of use to someone who just needs to laugh. I crave levity because I don't want the time inside to rewire my brain or convince me to lose all sense of optimism. Because in the face of it looking like we're all fucked, giving up would be letting down those in my family and friends who haven't. So I won't give up today. And I'll try not to tomorrow.
to that end, although she doesn't shy away from examining any of 2020's Big Bads, she also shares her reflections and insights about topics as varied as pooping in quarantine,* the importance of wearing matching underwear, and the social media trend of celebrities posting culinary videos during lockdown, proving that US magazine got it wrong—stars are clearly NOT just like us, because they're prepping weeknight-prawns while we're over here scrabbling for toilet paper.
the essays are voicey and entertaining as hell, even though i frequently had no frame of reference for their subject matter: tips for running a business, traveling the world, the challenges of 4C hair, being pressured to start a family or get a dog, etc etc. the venn diagrams of our respective experiences rarely overlaps, but it doesn't matter because she's an engaging writer with a strong personality so i could appreciate it without relating to it.
as an aside: i'm not an audiobook person, but i think i would have enjoyed listening to this one, because the cadence of her writing is very conversational, and her fondness for hashtags, phonetic spelling, and truncating words (nash anth), might be less distracting in an audio format. #I'mSoOld
in any medium, she's an impressive powerhouse of a human being. she started a production company called tiny reparations, which now includes a publishing branch—tiny reparations books—and this book marks the imprint's debut. not even a pandemic can stop this businesswoman handling her business, and it's all kinds of aspirational and intimidating: she's got her shit together and is doing everything with her time, building an empire while i'm sitting over here writing silly book reports that no one's gonna read instead of figuring out a way to make some money. #PhoebeRobinsonPleaseMentorMe.
i want to call out two particular, and wildly dissimilar, essays.
first, the titular essay: Please Don't Sit on My Bed in Your Outside Clothes.
so let's talk outside clothes.
while the concept of "outside clothes" is not unfamiliar to me, i thought it was one of those antiquated notions from a bygone era, but nope! phoebe robinson, about a decade younger than myself, is a staunch proponent of outside clothes, so much so that she asserts:
We need to start redlining heaux and if you don't have outside clothes, around-the-house clothes, and in-bed clothes: YOU. CAN'T. VOTE.
i live in the same new york as she does, but even though my brain knows (and has become more paranoid about during this whole pandemic thing) that subways are germy and the outside world is dirty, it has never once occurred to me to put on a whole 'nother outfit just to go to the store.
some of the material for this essay is drawn from social-media conversations between the author and folks who are, apparently, as disgusting/careless as me:
So wait...say I get up in the morning and decide I want to pop out and get a coffee. I'm supposed to change into full "outside clothes" to go across the street for my coffee and then back into my pajamas when I get home? And then later when I need to run to the store or take out the garbage, I'm supposed to change into new outside clothes and then back into my pajamas when I come inside again? WHAT KIND OF MADNESS IS THIS??? I get up in the morning and get dressed for the day, no matter how many times I go outside during the day. My pajamas only go on when it's time to eat.
Oh, boy. This. Is. Rough. And no, we're not "hanging tough." #MomJoke #NewKidsOnTheBlockForever. For real though, I'm at a loss for words. If you're going outside multiple times a day, just have an "outside clothes" outfit by your front door that you change in and out of and then put it in the laundry bin at the end of the night. Why are we acting like that's not an option? Why are we behaving as though changing in and out of PJs is akin to doing high school trig?
although this essay made me feel chastised (don't take away my vote please!), the thought of switching between public-facing and private clothing multiple times a day seems exhausting.**
even though i am always on my best behavior and mindful of other people's house rules, in my own life i guess i'm just a sloppy person. i have never, for example, in all my years of having boobs, washed a bra. not once. but i do take my shoes off before walking around my apartment—i'm not an animal. shoes touch places where animals (and people) pee, but how is my hoodie getting contaminated on my two-block journey to key food?
i thought that outside clothes was a generational thing, she claims it's a cultural thing that white people don't get (an informal poll of my social circle suggests that we're both correct—black grannies are ON BOARD with this), but even though that's never gonna be my life, i adore her passionate stance on this matter.
We Don't Need Another White Savior
this was my favorite essay (and, yes, i DID initially read that title to the tune of We Don't Need Another Hero, which she declares makes me "[her] kind of person," so maybe i can has my vote back now? if she's willing to overlook my unwashed bras, i'm willing to overlook how she uses my name as a pejorative several times in this book).
on that note, i'm a white girl named karen, so obviously i'm the last person who should be weighing in about racial matters on the internet, but this chapter, which is about virtue signaling and performative allyship, is worth a thousand empty gestures inspired by White Fragility: Why It’s So Hard for White People to Talk About Racism, so i'm just gonna hand her the reins:
Reading, highlighting, and posting prompts on social media for robust discussions in the comments section can be fun and get the adrenaline pumping, but ultimately wind up being nothing more than empty exercises the majority of the time. I can think of two main reasons why.
One, many performative allies operate as though racism is this abstract, philosophical debate that doesn't have stakes in their world. The corporations need to step up. The executives need to do better. These celebrities should be canceled for [insert racially insensitive comment]. This white person is so unbelievably racist in a viral cellphone video. These books are teaching me about past racism and discussing hypotheticals. The racism is always somewhere other than where anyone is. Like what is racism? Fucking Nickelback CD's? The band has sold more than 50 MILLION ALBUMS, but nobody owns a copy? LOL. Okay. Similarly, there is no audacity to perform racism in any and all of its ugly forms without a system, meaning people to support it. So somebody's out here "racisting," but if folks can't even acknowledge the ways in which they intentionally and unintentionally hold up systems of oppressions, how can they change their behavior? Simply put, they can't.
So what ends up happening is the cycle of white guilt, which leads to the task of self-improvement then goes back to white guilt because change isn't happening fast enough or at all. And as we all know, guilt is never a good motivator to rectify behavior, but a license to wallow in the pity, which leads to more guilt about their participation in systemic racism, which is now combined with them feeling bad about the fact that they feel bad. Basically, white guilt is a Cathy comic, y'all. Like that bitch always has a sob story. Constantly caught up in the drama without realizing she's a key architect of the spectacle that is her life. Always getting fired and acting like she doesn't know why. It's like, "Cath, Jamba Juice let you go because you were making smoothies to bring home to your cats." (her footnote: That is a real plot from the comics. Normally, I choose a side, but I'm Switzerland this time because cats need a balanced diet.) #ThisConcludesMyAntiRacismSeminar #CanIGetPaid40K?
The other reason why most of performative allyship is ineffective is that folks move in extremes and go from zero to one hundred as an antiracist. One day, they were unaware how pervasive racism is and the next, they're flooding their social media with information, showing up at marches and protests, screaming about supporting Black businesses. WHERE DID ALL THESE WHITE PEOPLE COME FROM?! I'm serious. You ever throw what you thought was going to be an intimate get-together and it turns into a full-fledged house party and a bitch who was not invited, but showed up with napkins and red Solo cups, now acts like they call the shots and pay your property taxes? That's how this aggressiveness in being antiracist comes across sometimes. And while I'm sure a decent amount of it is well-intentioned, intent doesn't matter when it's causing more harm, and from what I can see, as the number of non-POC participants in antiracism increase so does the "May I speak to your manager?" energy. The revolution cannot and should not be Karenized.*** That vibe wants fast results, placation, and constant positive reinforcement, and recontextualizes easy wins as major victories, so that when the wins don't quickly happen or happen at all for the weightier and messier issues, disappointment and frustration settle in, threatening to dissuade future efforts.
To me, lacking patience and expecting results immediately for both the micro and macro issues that plague America shows a complete lack of understanding of how pervasive and fundamental racism is to the foundation of our society. Truth be told, systemic racism will most likely not be dismantled in our lifetime. While I would like things to change so that all my Black brothers and sisters and I can live in a better world, I know that's not the ultimate goal. The ultimate goal is that those who come after me will not have to experience even a tenth of what I have. Achieving that goal requires a level of acceptance in the face of glacial progress and that is, in part, what prevents burnout and allows one to stay the course.
Too often what we're seeing is people blowing off steam at the first sign of adversity and then not rolling up their sleeves and jumping back into the fray. And that combination of impatience and losing interest because massive change has not happened since they decided to get active when there have been people on the front lines for years and decades doing the exhaustive work to dismantle racism is the opposite of staying the course. It's participating in a trend, in a moment. This is not a trend. I repeat: This is not a trend. We have to undo every single institution—both big and small—in our country. And if the expectation is permanent change, then we must understand that the system cannot change unless the people in it, particularly the ones who benefit from it in myriad tangible and intangible ways, change as well.
this whole essay is GOLD. long may her empire flourish.
so, it's maybe not a book that's going to help you forget the current challenges, but you get wisdom and laughter, so it's well worth the read.
***************************
* best opening to an essay...ever?
I'm not saying you should shit yourself in front of your significant other (IS THIS THE MOMENT WHERE I RUIN ANY CHANCE OF BEING AN OPRAH BOOK CLUB SELECTION? I. FUCKING. THINK. SO.), but I believe that unless you do mortifying things, accidentally or not, that make your partner pull a Walter White and get a burner phone so they can create a Raya dating profile to search for fresh peen or vajeen, then, frankly, you aren't in a relationship.
** although, to be fair, much of her type a/git-er-done life sounds exhausting to me
this might be my favorite one yet, but i am too broken to review it RN. go get it, though - you will not be disappointed!
************NOW AVAILABLE!!
this might be my favorite one yet, but i am too broken to review it RN. go get it, though - you will not be disappointed!
*************************************************
apparently, because jenny lawson is the vaccine that will protect me against anything 2021 has in store is an acceptable response to the question "why are you requesting this book?" over on edelweiss.
WHOLEHEART THANK YOUS TO J-LAW AND E-WEISS!!!...more
i know, i knooooow taxidermy is one of those highly divisive practices that makes some people go all squicky, so for those of you triggered by [image]
i know, i knooooow taxidermy is one of those highly divisive practices that makes some people go all squicky, so for those of you triggered by this particular juxtaposition of the grotesque and the whimsical, feel free to reroute yourself to a review of any of nancy rose's books*, in which she photographs her real live backyard squirrels across various tableaux. i love her, i am using her wall calendar:
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and i envy her whole squirrel-filled life. but my panimal heart can love rodents in motion and also love them in a preserved state.
i saw a dead mouse on my way to work the other day, and it was such a bummer, but if i had instead seen this
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or this
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it would have been a much nicer start to my day.
for me, it's all about balance and compartmentalization—i have rescued at least three mice from glue traps (very traumatic experiences), i catch and release houseflies, but i still eat meat and i think this is hi-larious:
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the way i see it, anything jenny lawson's into has got to be okay.
NONE of the projects in this book qualify as an example of something going 'wrong,' unless you object to taxidermy on principle. these are not products of unskilled taxidermists:
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the work itself, capturing movement and giving the animals postmortem personalities is extremely accomplished
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and there's a lot of creativity and care in their construction
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and a humor i appreciate, even especially when it gets dark
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this piece made me think of t. kingfisher's The Hollow Places, which had some extremely shivery taxidermy-based scenes:
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and this one:
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naturally made me think of this:
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bet those skeksis wish they had a taxidermist on staff...
and if i can't have a frosty or a pumpkin of my own, because their clever little hands would dismantle everything i own, maybe i could pretend with one of these:
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and you knew you weren't getting out of a karen-review without me talking about BIRDS!
just look at these little monsters breaking their accomplices out of prison:
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and thinking about rapping schoolchildren's knuckles with rulers:
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recently, i have become rather adept at hand-feeding (if not photographing-whilst-hand-feeding) the local squirrel population, but this:
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is (nearly) enough to make a girl reconsider this practice.
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IN CONCLUSION, whether or not it's delusional to believe that all these animals died naturally of old age or through misadventure, i'm doing it anyway, and now that it's FINALLY been released after many delays, i'm about to read Best Friends Forever: The Greatest Collection of Taxidermy Dogs on Earth and i might even get choked up.
* or wait for greg to publish a book of his photographs of saratoga's wildlife:
i just love liz climo. i reviewed her mother's-day-book You're Mom: A Little Book for Mothers last year, and even though it was a book of illus[image]
i just love liz climo. i reviewed her mother's-day-book You're Mom: A Little Book for Mothers last year, and even though it was a book of illustrated sentiments rather than a 'proper' cartoon collection, i was still charmed by it, and this father's-day companion book is no less delightful.
it's more of the same—a little gift book celebrating fathers and fatherhood in all of its forms, and gets all the inclusivity points for spotlighting all the different ways a person can become a father, as well as the range of traits and roles a father can fill.
plus, dad jokes.
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it's not a gift my own personal father would cherish, because he's not into the cutesy, but i bought it anyway, for me, to add to my climo-collection, since i still think she draws the best red pandas
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i appreciate a lot of the things she says about dads, and i maybe got a little bit touched in my feels once or twice, but mostly i giggled at these silly animal-dads.
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it's maybe a little twee for the dad or father figure in your life, but it's sweet without being schmaltzy, and i will continue to adore liz climo and support her in whatever she does.
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