Vegas Quotes

“A little bit of this town goes a very long way. After five days in Vegas you feel like you've been here for five years.”
― Hunter S. Thompson, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas

“The Circus-Circus is what the whole hep world would be doing Saturday night if the Nazis had won the war. This is the sixth Reich. The ground floor is full of gambling tables, like all the other casinos... but the place is about four stories high, in the style of a circus tent, and all manner of strange County-Fair/Polish Carnival madness is going on up in this space.”
― Hunter S. Thompson, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas

“Alexis grabbed his arm. "Tom Jones? Wow, I totally love Tom Jones. He's like quintessential Vegas—over the top and indecent fun. Let me just go grab a pair of underwear to throw at him and we'll be all set."

Over his undead body. If anyone was getting her underwear tossed in his face, it was going to be him.

"I don't think so, Ball Buster. You're not giving your panties to an old man."

"Oh, and you're so young, Garlic?"

"Garlic?" What the hell was that?

"Yep. Now we have pet names for each other, isn't that adorable? You're Garlic and I'm Ball Buster. Now everyone will believe we're a real couple.”
― Erin McCarthy

“This whole thing might play out to be a completely wonderful, beautiful disaster, but I want that if it’s with you.”
― Jamie McGuire, A Beautiful Wedding

“The mere fact of Vegas, its necessity, was an indictment of our normal lives. If we needed this place--to transform into a high roller or a sexy swinger, to be someone else, a winner for once--then certainly the world beyond the desert was a small and mealy place indeed.”
― Colson Whitehead, The Noble Hustle: Poker, Beef Jerky, and Death

“They put me in jail. Holy shit. They put me in fucking jail. Call my mother and tell her I love her, call my father and tell him I can’t loan him any more money, call my grandmother and tell her she needs to stop day drinking. I am never getting out of this. All right, on the plus side, it’s not like I’m sitting in a city jail. It’s a hotel holding room, which basically means beige-colored carpet with beige walls and a beige futon. In Vegas, if they put you in beige, you are seriously fucked. No sequins or rhinestones anywhere means I must have done something abominable. Okay. I take three deep breaths, trying to achieve my zone neutrality. Or something. I don’t know! Okay, keep calm, Julia. Maybe they can help. Maybe they can help piece together whatever insane stuff you did last night. Or rather, the weird shit that your David Tennant personality did. On second thought, maybe talking about Doctor Who would be a very bad thing right now. The door opens, and Gray Suit— his name’s actually Todd, but I’m sticking with Gray Suit— enters and sits down in a chair opposite me. “Now Ms. Stevens—” “I’m not going to prison,” I blurt out. “I’m too soft. I watched Orange is the New Black. I don’t want to eat tampon sandwiches.” Gray Suit blinks slowly. “Okay. I’ll bear that in mind.” “Look, what the hell am I even doing here?” I snap. Great, Julia. Get snippy with the authorities. This’ll go down swimmingly. “What is happening?” Gray Suit sighs. “It’s about what you did last night, Ms. Stevens.”
― Lila Monroe, Get Lucky

“Sympathy? Not for me. No mercy for a criminal freak in Las Vegas. This place is like the Army: the shark ethic prevails - eat the wounded. In a closed society where everybody's guilty, the only crime is getting caught. In a world of thieves, the only final sin is stupidity.”
― Hunter S. Thompson, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas

“Unable to help himself, he offered her a smile and stared into those eyes as he tapped his mouth. “I think you missed.”
― J.M. Stewart, A Second Chance at Forever

“I promise I don’t bite.” He winked at her.

That earned him another throaty laugh. Then she bent over him, hands braced on his thighs, her luscious mouth inches from his. The heat of her palms singed his skin even through his jeans. Her warm breaths puffed against his lips as she stared him dead in the eye. “What if I do?”
― J.M. Stewart, A Second Chance at Forever

“Whoever had designed the ship’s décor had a hard-on for Vegas-inspired neon and naked male angels; you couldn’t go anywhere without being blinded by an illuminated palm tree or leered at by a cherub.”
― Sarah Lotz, Day Four

“Ah well. When in Vegas, ignore the douches, let the good times roll, and always carry a spare set of panties in your purse, just in case. That’s what Mom used to tell me.”
― Lila Monroe, Get Lucky

“Outside, Vegas stretched out with thousands of glittering lights, as if the city waged war on the stars above.”
― Katherine McIntyre, Hypnotizing Beat

“By the time the plane touched down in Portland, we had obtained signed, handwritten confessions from both criminals. They planned on hitting it rich in Vegas using the payroll money as a grub-stake. Now, the were broke, busted and bound for an Oregon jail. I often marveled at the criminal mentality. Sometimes because of their sick perversity, sometimes because of their rare ingenuity, and sometimes because they just didn’t get it; that crime doesn’t pay. You can’t do bad and get good in return.”
― Don Dupay, Behind the Badge in River City: A Portland Police Memoir

“He'd ruined me. Made me crave his touch and burned my memories of other lovers to ash.”
― Michelle Donn, Vegas Reward

“Thank god for Vegas. Seriously.
A lobotomy wasn’t as effective as a weekend three hours of Red Bull away (from LA, not Pismo) where I wore the thinnest pinned stilettos, gambled like a sweaty degenerate mobster in black loafers, drank like Amy Winehouse and Charles Bukowski’s baby, and snorted throat-dripping lines of coke in a Hard Rock Hotel bathroom with four new best friends. I’d giddily rub off any one of those from the to-do list I wrote in eyeliner on my hotel bathroom mirror.”
― Christy Heron, Unrequited - One Girl, Thirteen Boyfriends, and Vodka.

“After six long hours of driving and three rest stops, Tiger pulls up to a snow-topped, metal speaker box just outside the State Penitentiary's first gate in Walla Walla. As he rolls down his window and snow flies in his face, Joshua starts begging for a Happy Meal.
I turn around, snapping at him. "This ISN'T MCDONALDS and YOU AREN'T HUNGRY. NOW SHUT UP BRAT."
A loud scratchy masculine voice blasts out of the speaker. "CAN I HELP YOU?"
Tiger leans out the window, as he answers- We're here to visit Raven Chandler.
"HAVE YOU BEEN HERE BEFORE?"
"Yes sir. I've been here A LOT."
"WHERE'S HIS MOTHER?"
"I don't know.. I haven't seen her in months."
"NOT THE PRISONER'S MOTHER. THE BRAT IN THE BACK SEAT OF YOUR JEEP."
"Oh- HIM-" As he turns, smiling and sticking his tongue out at Joshua, I lean towards his window to answer the guard's question.
"SHE'S IN VEGAS, SIR. I'M BABYSITTING. HE'S MY GODSON." When the speaker remains disturbingly silent for far too long, I continue. "HE'S A GOOD BOY SIR. HE WON'T BE ANY TROUBLE- I SWEAR."
"THAT'S RIGHT," Tiger said. "HE SWEARS ON THE LITTLE BRAT'S MOTHER'S GRAVE.”
― Giorge Leedy, Uninhibited From Lust To Love

“May I help you?"
"Mr. Neck-uh-stone-sack please," I replied.
"Um. You mean Nat?"
"Yeah. This is Counselor Smallwater's law office. May I speak with Nat?"
"Well, he's in a class right now. Can I take a message?"
"Hmm. I suppose it's all right. You can just tell him that his annulment is official now. He and his sister are no longer married.”
― Michael Darling, Got Luck

“If you’re looking for good Mexican food in Vegas, you go to the Arts District. Jonesing for stupidly overpriced jeans or a rhine- stone T-shirt? The Fashion Show Mall has you covered. How about some quiet contemplation over that lost trust fund? Lake Mead’s your man. Maybe getting stabbed, shot, or beaten to death is your thing, so head on up to North Vegas. But, if you’re looking for a snapshot of city history, a reasonably affordable libation, and the rare sensation of getting squeezed through a kaleidoscope’s poop chute, then you can’t beat Fremont.”
― Daniel Younger, The Wrath of Con

“The Flamingo Casino is a slice of Vegas legacy. It’s kind of where it all started. With a reputation steeped in infamy, it’s the place tourists go hoping to spot some vestige of the mafia in the glitzy city. And time after time, they go in, poke around, and come out saying: “Well that’s totally not what I expected—hey look, naked bronze chicks!”
― Daniel Younger, The Wrath of Con

“Steven’s words slush together as he gets to his feet. “Crossing this one off the bucket list.” Then he
unbuckles his belt and grabs the waist of his pants—yanking the suckers down to his ankles—tighty
whities and all.
Every guy in the car holds up his hands to try to block the spectacle. We groan and complain. “My
eyes! They burn!”
“Put the boa constrictor back in his cage, man.”
“This is not the ass I planned on seeing tonight.”
Our protests fall on deaf ears. Steven is a man on a mission. Wordlessly, he squats and shoves his lilywhite
ass out the window—mooning the gaggle of grannies in the car next to us.
I bet you thought this kind of stuff only happened in movies.
He grins while his ass blows in the wind for a good ninety seconds, ensuring optimal viewage. Then
he pulls his slacks up, turns around, and leans out the window, laughing. “Enjoying the full moon, ladies?”
Wow. Steven usually isn’t the type to visually assault the elderly.
Without warning, his crazy cackling is cut off. He’s silent for a beat, then I hear him choke out a single
strangled word.
“Grandma?”
....
Matthew and I wave and smile and in fourth-grader-like, singsong harmony call out, “Hi, Mrs.
Reinhart.”
She shakes one wrinkled fist in our direction. Then her poofy-haired companion in the backseat flips
us the bird. I’m pretty sure it’s the funniest goddamn thing I’ve ever seen.
The two of us collapse back into our seats, laughing hysterically.”
― Emma Chase, Tied

“Besides, Vegas was tits straining out of a low-cut top and mascara thick enough to smear.”
― Katherine McIntyre, Hypnotizing Beat

“My husband and son are at the movies, and the hellhounds, appropriately named Duvel (Duch/Belgian dialect for ''devil'') and Hexe (German for ''witch''), are in the backyard for the evening. Only the cat, Vegas (I know, right? Totally doesn't fit the theme, but she came with the name) is running around the house, She gives the newcomers a bored look before heading to the bedroom to get white fur all over my pillow. What grows on Vegas does not stay on Vegas.”
― Larissa Ione, Dining with Angels: Bits & Bites from the Demonica Universe

“What happens in Vegas ends up all over the world news.”
― Steven Magee

“Blackpool is the Las Vegas of northwest England.”
― Steven Magee

“I'm not really fussy. But I despise stretch denim.”
― Lindy Hughes, It Never Stays in Vegas

“The one thing I learned really quickly as a child-with-motion-sickness-on-a-long-road is that whining only makes matters worse.”
― Lindy Hughes, It Never Stays in Vegas

“Hiking is the only slightly less ugly stepsister of running.”
― Lindy Hughes, It Never Stays in Vegas

“How about I make it up to you?" I say to her. "What if, whenever we decide to have a baby, I promise to do it the natural way and not buy one in Vegas?”
― Colleen Hoover, It Ends with Us

“h'd ruined me. Made me crave his touch and burned my memories of oher lovers to ash.”
― Michelle Donn, Vegas Reward

“There is only her”
― Susanne Valenti, Fated Throne