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Johannes Cabal #0.75
Exeunt Demon King
Johannes Cabal, a necromancer of some little infamy, has faced many horrors during his career, but in this tale he tells of an early encounter with something that horrified even him.
Pantomime.
A provincial theatre has seen a series of strange deaths. The young Cabal investigates, even though this requires him to don red tights, a curling moustache, and become... the Demon King.
Back in 2006, "Exeunt Demon King" was the second Johannes Cabal story published. It has long been out of print. So, buy your wine gums and Kia-Ora in the foyer, find your seat in the dress circle, and join Cabal as he hunts the evil that haunts the Alhambra Theatre.
Pantomime.
A provincial theatre has seen a series of strange deaths. The young Cabal investigates, even though this requires him to don red tights, a curling moustache, and become... the Demon King.
Back in 2006, "Exeunt Demon King" was the second Johannes Cabal story published. It has long been out of print. So, buy your wine gums and Kia-Ora in the foyer, find your seat in the dress circle, and join Cabal as he hunts the evil that haunts the Alhambra Theatre.
28 pages, Kindle Edition
First published November 14, 2013
About the author
Jonathan L. Howard
62 books2,020 followersJonathan L Howard is a game designer, scriptwriter, and a veteran of the computer games industry since the early 1990s, with titles such as the 'Broken Sword' series to his credit.
After publishing two short stories featuring Johannes Cabal (Johannes Cabal and the Blustery Day and Exeunt Demon King) in H. P. Lovecraft's Magazine of Horror, Johannes Cabal the Necromancer was published in 2009 as his first novel.
Since then there have been three sequels, with a fourth due in 2016. He has also written two novels in the YA SF "Russalka Chronicles" series, and the ongoing "Goon Squad" serial of superhero stories. October 2015 will see the publication of "Carter & Lovecraft," the first in a new series of novels.
He lives with his wife and daughter near Bristol.
http://www.jonathanlhoward.com/
https://twitter.com/#!/JonathanLHoward
http://jonathanlhoward.livejournal.com/
After publishing two short stories featuring Johannes Cabal (Johannes Cabal and the Blustery Day and Exeunt Demon King) in H. P. Lovecraft's Magazine of Horror, Johannes Cabal the Necromancer was published in 2009 as his first novel.
Since then there have been three sequels, with a fourth due in 2016. He has also written two novels in the YA SF "Russalka Chronicles" series, and the ongoing "Goon Squad" serial of superhero stories. October 2015 will see the publication of "Carter & Lovecraft," the first in a new series of novels.
He lives with his wife and daughter near Bristol.
http://www.jonathanlhoward.com/
https://twitter.com/#!/JonathanLHoward
http://jonathanlhoward.livejournal.com/
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 74 reviews
December 4, 2020
💀 Let's Bring the Dead Back from the Dead Again Buddy Reread (LBtDBftDABR™) with the MacHalo Necromaniacs 💀
Actual rating: 3.5 stars.
➽ And the moral of this reread is: nothing says Merry Christmas like a Jojo Cabal story, if you ask me.
That's the spirit!
👋 To be continued and stuff.
[November 2018]
Okay, that’s not really what I had in mind, and I’m pretty sure my boyfriend looks much hotter in his demon costume than this, um, attractive gentleman here (the braids are a nice touch), but you get the idea. Then again maybe not.
Poor Johannes. He is theslightly stuck-up impeccable, black costume-wearing type (his super sexy tartan slippers are his only known fashion eccentricity), so you can imagine how the whole Demon Getup Thingie (DGT™) worked out for him. Or rather, didn’t. Work out for him, I mean. Yes, this was indeed a most traumatizing experience for my Jojo. But, in the words of the yummilicious man himself, “needs must” and stuff. And also, to hell with dignity and stuff. Well those are my words, really. My ever-refined Jojo would never use such a crudely vulgar expression as “to hell with,” obviously. But I ever so slightly digress and stuff.
So. As I was originally saying, seeing His Necromantic Scrumptiousness frolic in this most exotic garb is absolutely priceless, so who the fish cares if the story isn’t supercalifragilistically exciting? Besides, this short might not be as uproariously comical as other books in the series, but there still are quite a few hahahaha moments to be had here, and splendiferously funny quotes to be unleashed on innocent bystanders. Which is exactly what I’m about to do right now. You guys really are the luckiest Clueless Barnacles ever, methinks. Oh, and by the way,
Okay, so there’s one last quote I very generously wanted to unleash on you (because it’s hahahaha, deliciously sarcastic, and explains the title of the book) but it’s long as fish, so I won’t. And if you want to hahahaha along, well, you’ll just have to read the story, won’t you? Looks like you’re not the luckiest Clueless Barnacles ever, after all. Ha.
· Book 0.5: Johannes Cabal and the Blustery Day ★★★★★
· Book 1: The Necromancer ★★★★★
· Book 2: The Detective ★★★★★
· Book 2.5: The Ereshkigal Working ★★★★★
· Book 3: The Fear Institute ★★★★★
· Book 3.1: The House of Gears ★★★★
· Book 3.2: The Death of Me ★★★
· Book 3.3: Ouroboros Ouzo ★★★★
· Book 4: The Brothers Cabal ★★★★
· Book 4.5: A Long Spoon ★★★★★
· Book 5: The Fall of the House of Cabal ★★★★★
Actual rating: 3.5 stars.
➽ And the moral of this reread is: nothing says Merry Christmas like a Jojo Cabal story, if you ask me.
“Merry Christmas, Police Sergeant Parkin.”Ah, such a positively charming little tale this is! All revoltingly warm and fuzzy inside it makes me feel. Much like it did His Grumpy Catness—may God rest his soul—from I what heard.
“And a Happy Saturnalia to you too. Now piss off out of it before I do you.”
That's the spirit!
👋 To be continued and stuff.
[November 2018]
“It’s been interesting. Horrible, but interesting.”Unfortunately, this wasn’t nearly as horrible as Police Sergeant Parkin makes it sound. (I think the man is a bit more sensitive than my nefarious little self when it comes to Horrible Stuff.) Unfortunately #2, this story wasn’t as caustically funny as other instalments in this Usually Hilarious Necromancing Series (UHNS™). BUT. It was well worth reading, just to witness my Deliciously Heartless Boyfriend running around in full theatrical demon attire, complete with red leotard, cloak, artificial, curling mustachios and fake horns (aka the works).
Okay, that’s not really what I had in mind, and I’m pretty sure my boyfriend looks much hotter in his demon costume than this, um, attractive gentleman here (the braids are a nice touch), but you get the idea. Then again maybe not.
Poor Johannes. He is the
So. As I was originally saying, seeing His Necromantic Scrumptiousness frolic in this most exotic garb is absolutely priceless, so who the fish cares if the story isn’t supercalifragilistically exciting? Besides, this short might not be as uproariously comical as other books in the series, but there still are quite a few hahahaha moments to be had here, and splendiferously funny quotes to be unleashed on innocent bystanders. Which is exactly what I’m about to do right now. You guys really are the luckiest Clueless Barnacles ever, methinks. Oh, and by the way,
“The public could never see past the occasional and unavoidable mistakes, bleating on about how the science of necromancy was somehow intrinsically evil just because some of the higher profile failures had ended up wandering the countryside with a hunger for human brains. Sanctimonious fools, the lot of them.”I couldn’t agree more, my dear. Puny humans just do not understand the likes of us. I mean, look at me: I sever body parts for the good of humanity, and people call me evil. Such an unfair, rude judgement on their part.
The first night’s performance was, I think, a triumph if a Demon King’s triumphs are measured in screaming children being led out by the hand. Otherwise, the response was good. “Tone it down a little further,” said Curry, looking the happiest I’d yet seen him as he peeked through the curtains, “but not much. A bit more ‘delicious thrill,’ a bit less ‘bladder-emptying terror,’ Mr Cabal.”What’s wrong with bladder-emptying terror, I wonder? I happen to think it’s one of the most wonderful feelings ever. That Curry guy really is weird.
“He was shot through the star trap and showered over the entire stage and the first three rows of the audience in a hail of desiccated body parts. The parents were not impressed.”The parents may not have been impressed, but I definitely would have, had I attended this heart-warming performance with the kids. Pretty sure my homicidal babies would have asked for an encore, too.
Okay, so there’s one last quote I very generously wanted to unleash on you (because it’s hahahaha, deliciously sarcastic, and explains the title of the book) but it’s long as fish, so I won’t. And if you want to hahahaha along, well, you’ll just have to read the story, won’t you? Looks like you’re not the luckiest Clueless Barnacles ever, after all. Ha.
· Book 0.5: Johannes Cabal and the Blustery Day ★★★★★
· Book 1: The Necromancer ★★★★★
· Book 2: The Detective ★★★★★
· Book 2.5: The Ereshkigal Working ★★★★★
· Book 3: The Fear Institute ★★★★★
· Book 3.1: The House of Gears ★★★★
· Book 3.2: The Death of Me ★★★
· Book 3.3: Ouroboros Ouzo ★★★★
· Book 4: The Brothers Cabal ★★★★
· Book 4.5: A Long Spoon ★★★★★
· Book 5: The Fall of the House of Cabal ★★★★★
February 11, 2017
It is Christmas and Police Sergeant Parkin has stopped by Johannes Cabal's house to collect his annual donation to the police benevolent fun. Johannes finds himself unexpectedly moved by Parkin's neutral views on his necromantic work:
"'Could...' Cabal floundered in the unfamiliar waters of social interaction for a moment. 'Could I interest you in a drink before you go?'"
They end up sitting by the fire, drinking and exchanging stories, when Johannes decides to share one of his early encounters with a ghost who was responsible for the deaths of four theater actors.
The description mentions pant-o-mime, and it's more than a bit misleading. The British version of the term refers to a low-brow production, often for children, with slapstick, music and jokes, usually performed around Christmas time. Most empathetically not soundless people in an invisible box. It's nicely done, although it lacks some of the word-play and humor of later Cabal stories. An ominous atmosphere develops, making it feel like a traditional ghost story crossed with Phantom of the Opera. It has very little of Cabal's trademark acerbic wit, being more focused on the dynamic between the ghost and Cabal. Still, a fun quick read.
"'Could...' Cabal floundered in the unfamiliar waters of social interaction for a moment. 'Could I interest you in a drink before you go?'"
They end up sitting by the fire, drinking and exchanging stories, when Johannes decides to share one of his early encounters with a ghost who was responsible for the deaths of four theater actors.
The description mentions pant-o-mime, and it's more than a bit misleading. The British version of the term refers to a low-brow production, often for children, with slapstick, music and jokes, usually performed around Christmas time. Most empathetically not soundless people in an invisible box. It's nicely done, although it lacks some of the word-play and humor of later Cabal stories. An ominous atmosphere develops, making it feel like a traditional ghost story crossed with Phantom of the Opera. It has very little of Cabal's trademark acerbic wit, being more focused on the dynamic between the ghost and Cabal. Still, a fun quick read.
November 8, 2015
Exeunt Demon King is a story within a story.
It's Christmas and Johannes Cabal feels like he needs company. He invites a Police Sergeant Parkin who is there to get his usual bribe (eighty percent goes to police charity, only twenty goes to him, mind you) to have a drink.
Then he tells him a story about a haunted theatre that had some trouble with people dying on the stage. One death could be accident, but he doubted four could be just bad luck. Being a curious young man, he gets a job as a replacement. The previous victim, er, person had a role of the Demon King.
I love how, against his better judgement, he ends up a hero of the story because the thing that haunted the theatre jumped to the conclusion that Cabal is there to stop him.
It's Christmas and Johannes Cabal feels like he needs company. He invites a Police Sergeant Parkin who is there to get his usual bribe (eighty percent goes to police charity, only twenty goes to him, mind you) to have a drink.
Then he tells him a story about a haunted theatre that had some trouble with people dying on the stage. One death could be accident, but he doubted four could be just bad luck. Being a curious young man, he gets a job as a replacement. The previous victim, er, person had a role of the Demon King.
I love how, against his better judgement, he ends up a hero of the story because the thing that haunted the theatre jumped to the conclusion that Cabal is there to stop him.
'Silly man.'
January 16, 2016
I wish this series had a larger fandom so someone would draw art for this. Johannes Cabal in red tights. I need this because of reasons.
December 1, 2020
Jojo + THEATRE? Oh yes.
I liked this. More pls.
I liked this. More pls.
January 6, 2021
This was the second release of the Cabal stories.
I'm glad I read the first novel to start because knowing a little about Johannes gave more depth to the these prior short stories.
In this one, Johannes is not quite a full necromancer yet. We see a bit of his loneliness, the human side of him, as he shares some brandy with police office Perkins on Christmas eve, telling him a story of a past encounter with an evil Malificarous.
When Perkins asks Johannes as to why he has decided to study necromancy, Cabal says quite harshly that it's personal! Sparking my further interest in his history as well.
4 stars strictly on the basis of not having enough, and feeling a bit of a loss, not discovering much more about this fantastic character.
Content concerns: Only 28 pages but really enjoyable. Mild violence. mild cursing, no romance, no sex, relatively wholesome.
I'm glad I read the first novel to start because knowing a little about Johannes gave more depth to the these prior short stories.
In this one, Johannes is not quite a full necromancer yet. We see a bit of his loneliness, the human side of him, as he shares some brandy with police office Perkins on Christmas eve, telling him a story of a past encounter with an evil Malificarous.
When Perkins asks Johannes as to why he has decided to study necromancy, Cabal says quite harshly that it's personal! Sparking my further interest in his history as well.
4 stars strictly on the basis of not having enough, and feeling a bit of a loss, not discovering much more about this fantastic character.
Content concerns: Only 28 pages but really enjoyable. Mild violence. mild cursing, no romance, no sex, relatively wholesome.
December 28, 2015
Three and a half for this one. After reading Johannes Cabal and the Blustery Day I went straight on to this one, which is, I think, the second in order as written. Another short story, this one has a really engaging frame story, and a still amusing but slightly less charming (to me) main story. Many reviewers have mentioned the delight of seeing Cabal in red tights, but I found the descriptions of monster-fighting a bit convoluted and my favorite sections were those with Police Sergeant Parkin, in which new and more human aspects of Cabal's character appeared. And I love the singing thing in the wooden box!
December 3, 2020
Another fabulous Cabal tale and MacHalo Buddy Read
This is basically a Christmas ghost story. We chose a perfect time to read this. Not as fulfilling as Howard's other stories, but still a delightful read.
May 8, 2024
Kort maar krachtig
October 21, 2017
The tone felt off, for me and the "mystery" wasn't all that interesting.
February 12, 2019
Mollified, Curry closed the script. “Indeed you do. Exeunt Demon King.”
I may have winced. “Exit,” I corrected him. I know a job interview is hardly the time to be correcting the Latin grammar of one’s potential employer, but, really, sometimes diplomacy be damned. “The stage direction should be Exit Demon King.”
He looked at me with an uncomprehending frown upon his rounded brow. “It’s Latin,” he said after some seconds of thought.
“Yes,” I said. “Exit is singular. Exeunt is in the plural.”
“It’s Latin,” he said again. His frown was not an aggressive thing, but constructed from purest confusion. “Exeunt. It means exit. In Latin.”
“There is only one Demon King exiting. Therefore, it should be exit.” Even as I said it, I knew I was wasting my time.
“It’s Latin,” he said once more.
I decided to cut my losses. “Is it?” I said with feigned astonishment. “Latin, you say? Well, I never. You have educated me, Mr Curry.”
The brow unfurled. Order was restored in the wide open spaces of Curry’s intellect.
I may have winced. “Exit,” I corrected him. I know a job interview is hardly the time to be correcting the Latin grammar of one’s potential employer, but, really, sometimes diplomacy be damned. “The stage direction should be Exit Demon King.”
He looked at me with an uncomprehending frown upon his rounded brow. “It’s Latin,” he said after some seconds of thought.
“Yes,” I said. “Exit is singular. Exeunt is in the plural.”
“It’s Latin,” he said again. His frown was not an aggressive thing, but constructed from purest confusion. “Exeunt. It means exit. In Latin.”
“There is only one Demon King exiting. Therefore, it should be exit.” Even as I said it, I knew I was wasting my time.
“It’s Latin,” he said once more.
I decided to cut my losses. “Is it?” I said with feigned astonishment. “Latin, you say? Well, I never. You have educated me, Mr Curry.”
The brow unfurled. Order was restored in the wide open spaces of Curry’s intellect.
January 7, 2014
I thought this was yet another wonderful Johannes Cabal story, but my only complaint would be that 80% of the story was told by Johannes. Not that I didn't like the idea, but sometimes, it got to be a bit heavy and dry and difficult to read. Still, it was a great story, and I really enjoyed reading it. And I genuinely loved the way Johannes invited Parkin to come hang out, have a few drinks, and spend some time just talking. I loved the humanness this added to Cabal's character, that even a misanthrope like him wanted someone to talk to on Christmas Eve. Normally I find Christmas stories about how "everyone needs a friend at Christmas" to be unbearably cheesy (and I'm sure Cabal would agree with me on that point), but I thought this was just the right amount of "awww!" (And may I just say I was a bit concerned to learn that this was going to be a Christmas story. Generally speaking, "Johannes Cabal" and "Christmas Eve" seem like they would clash, but this story was just right).
September 22, 2016
A fun little monster story, though not as good nor as well-constructed as the first, Johannes Cabal and the Blustery Day. This is a Christmas ghost story, from early in Cabal's career, told by him to the sergeant of the local constabulary. It is a theatrical ghost story, which is always fun, but is merely a pleasant diversion, lacking the intricate construction of the earlier tale or the impressive characterization of the later ones. Worth a look for Cabal fans, but not a necessity.
April 30, 2017
A fun little story for fans of Cabal but way to simple and devoided of any real humor or interesting dialogue.
October 1, 2020
Here's a pro-tip for everyone: Do not, under any circumstances, attempt to begin reading this story off your Kindle while you're in a Zoom class. You will be forced to cover your laughter in some potentially embarrassing or painful way and you will need to immediately close the Kindle app and wait until class is over to try again.
Am I speaking from experience? Possibly. Why do you ask? Do you happen to know any professors in San Francisco?
I would die for Johannes Cabal. But I suppose, being a necromancer, he probably wouldn't like that very much, seeing as how he's mostly interested in curing death.
I absolutely adored this story. It's definitely my second favorite of the Cabal universe. (A Long Spoon is number 1, and it's free on Tor.com! Go read it!!!) However, now that I've finished it, I believe I have completed the entirety of the Johannes Cabal content... And I would desperately love to have some more of it.
And maybe, someday if we are all very good and very patient, Howard will be able to publish the collected Cabal short stories into a single volume. I will purchase it immediately, no matter what it takes. (And don't test me - I literally sent off to buy Tales from the Half-Continent and No Man's Land from Australia and New Zealand respectively.)
Am I speaking from experience? Possibly. Why do you ask? Do you happen to know any professors in San Francisco?
I would die for Johannes Cabal. But I suppose, being a necromancer, he probably wouldn't like that very much, seeing as how he's mostly interested in curing death.
I absolutely adored this story. It's definitely my second favorite of the Cabal universe. (A Long Spoon is number 1, and it's free on Tor.com! Go read it!!!) However, now that I've finished it, I believe I have completed the entirety of the Johannes Cabal content... And I would desperately love to have some more of it.
And maybe, someday if we are all very good and very patient, Howard will be able to publish the collected Cabal short stories into a single volume. I will purchase it immediately, no matter what it takes. (And don't test me - I literally sent off to buy Tales from the Half-Continent and No Man's Land from Australia and New Zealand respectively.)
April 23, 2023
This is an earlier story introducing us to one Johannes Cabal, a necromancer, who is six feet tall, blonde hair and blue eyes, who is German by birth (but lives in a place simply called "the village", a place he feels doesn't even deserve a name of any kind, as it's just a simple place not worth knowing). It's Christmas Eve, and after his usual chores, finds himself melancholy; a man, like him, has no family, or friends, since his work is not exactly one you would find yourself talking about to polite (and sometimes *not* so polite) company if one expects to come out unscathed. A knock on the door and an acquaintance of his (police officer Parkin, a constabulary he bribes to stay out of trouble in ANY village let alone his own) enters for their annual monetary exchange ('for gifts for the kiddies' as Parkin would say). Cabal asks him to stay and then tells him about his time on stage, and a rather horrible creature that is killing actors for their life force until stopped...Or does he? Find out here! Really short read (33 pages, start to finish) and I wish it had more! Enjoy!
April 30, 2022
"Cabal wasn’t in the habit of receiving visitors at all, not least because not many actually made it as far as the front door. The garden folk - pixies, sprites and fairies whose activities would have made Enid Blyton very sad - didn’t usually permit it."
His Christmas visitor is local copper Sgt. Parkin who is collecting Cabal's annual 'donation' to the police benevolent fund (they actually do get most of it!).
Johannes and Parkin get down to a drinking bout during which Johannes tells a suitably ghoulish tale from his past. Who'd a thunk that he once played the part of the Demon King in a pantomime at the Alhambra.
His reason for being there is to figure out why actors have been dying at a regular interval -exactly 2,300 days apart. He has no interest in preventing further deaths, he's just interested in the how of it all?
"Exeunt Demon King" is short, not quite as funny as the two previous short stories, but still quite enjoyable.
3 Stars.
His Christmas visitor is local copper Sgt. Parkin who is collecting Cabal's annual 'donation' to the police benevolent fund (they actually do get most of it!).
Johannes and Parkin get down to a drinking bout during which Johannes tells a suitably ghoulish tale from his past. Who'd a thunk that he once played the part of the Demon King in a pantomime at the Alhambra.
His reason for being there is to figure out why actors have been dying at a regular interval -exactly 2,300 days apart. He has no interest in preventing further deaths, he's just interested in the how of it all?
"Exeunt Demon King" is short, not quite as funny as the two previous short stories, but still quite enjoyable.
3 Stars.
June 30, 2020
Hinn alræmdi galdramaður Johannes Cabal kemst á snoðir um sérkennileg andlát í leikhúsi sem verða með reglulegu millibili. Hann er á þessu stigi enn að feta sín fyrstu skerf sem sérfræðingur í uppvakningum og fyllist mikilli forvitni á að vita hvað sé á seyði. Til að komast í betri aðstöðu til að rannsaka andlátin eða morðin líkt og hann er viss um að hér séu framin nælir hann sér í hlutverk sem leikari í leikritinu sem verið er að flytja - og fær brátt grun sinn staðfestan.
July 27, 2017
Necromancers, Demons, Fairies, oh my!
Great fun! Short, but packed with fun, humor and a sarcastic sort of darkness that makes it all worthwhile. Go ahead, read it. You know you want to.
Great fun! Short, but packed with fun, humor and a sarcastic sort of darkness that makes it all worthwhile. Go ahead, read it. You know you want to.
December 27, 2017
Johannes telling a story after bribing the local constabulary makes for an excellent short story. This one though has a flash of the universe in that he mentions the previous short story. Not a big deal because these are meant to be side stories for the weirdos who want everything.
January 1, 2018
I think out of all the Cabal short stories, this one is my favourite. Mostly due to the sudden camaraderie between the local constable and Cabal, but also due to the idea of the necromancer of some little infamy dressed as a poor pantomime demon.
February 3, 2020
So that’s Malificarus’s story? Hmm. Makes sense. Nice for Cabal to have a drinkingbuddy!
Also I couldn’t find the story “The Ereshkigal Working” in goodreads but here we had Malicicarus’s sons... stuff. Oh well. That’s a bad nemesis for you.
Also I couldn’t find the story “The Ereshkigal Working” in goodreads but here we had Malicicarus’s sons... stuff. Oh well. That’s a bad nemesis for you.
November 6, 2021
What’s to come
Having read all Cabal novels, I can say that this second pre-novels short story is a better taste of what’s to come in the very good novels than the first short story. Clever, evil, spooky, and funny.
Having read all Cabal novels, I can say that this second pre-novels short story is a better taste of what’s to come in the very good novels than the first short story. Clever, evil, spooky, and funny.
November 22, 2017
Red tights....I cannot get past the red tights. This is a great Prequel to Johannes Cabal, Necromancer.
February 17, 2018
A great little novella to flesh out small details in the greater story of cabal.
April 7, 2018
Cabal tells you a story about a time when he worked at a theatre. Delightful and witty as usual in a great setting.
July 9, 2018
Another little primer to the world of Johannes Cabal, this time with a short ghost story.
September 6, 2018
Nice short story.
December 4, 2018
A little bit slow to get rolling, but another excellent Johannes Cabal tale.
April 4, 2019
Another short and funny story about Cabal. He is a really interesting character.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 74 reviews