‘It’s an unplanned pregnancy but it’s not an unwanted one’ – Stefanie Preissner on the prospect of having two kids under two

Originally published on November 19, 2023. When her daughter Rori was born last year, columnist Stefanie Preissner documented the overwhelm of new motherhood, and the destabilising effect it had on her as an autistic person, with searing honesty. Now pregnant again, she is characteristically open about both her fears and excitement for the future

Writer and podcaster Stefanie Preissner, who is expecting her second child. Photo: Frank McGrath

Chrissie Russell

Stefanie Preissner is pregnant. The gushing response of “Congratulations! How lovely!” has bubbled out of my mouth before I even stop to think: “Is it though?” Because I can’t think of many people who have written with such searing honesty about finding pregnancy, and the early weeks of motherhood, so gut-wrenchingly hard as the Independent.ie and Life magazine columnist.

Not long after her daughter Aurora (Rori) was born last year, she wrote a visceral article detailing those dark moments, sitting rocking her baby at 3.46am. “White noise. Red eyes, raw from crying. Both of us,” it began, later ending with a heartfelt plea to “Please make tomorrow a little easier than today.” In conversation late last year with RTÉ’s Miriam O’Callaghan, she unflinchingly described pregnancy as “the worst time of my life” and those early days of motherhood as “absolute hell”. So with phrases like that ringing in my ears, I wonder if maybe I — and society in general — might need to back pedal on just how we are to react to pregnancy news with the assumption that it’s altogether wonderful?