I need my car, even if I'm not driving any shifts anymore. Mostly for one of my sons. He’s autistic and needs routine. One of them is that we take him for a drive – exactly the same route every single day, 365 days a year. If we break the routine, he could have a meltdown. From the outside, it looks like a tantrum, but it is more of a reflex, a fit that autists like him can't control.
During the first lockdown in April, people were much more afraid than they are now. But they were also more responsible. The first lockdown didn't last long. And the second one might end soon as well. But I don't see any light at the end of the tunnel. For us taxi drivers, it doesn't matter if we are in a lockdown or at level 5 or level 2. For as long as the pubs, restaurants, clubs and airport aren't totally open, we will continue to feel the effects.
In my neighborhood, there are people who have died of COVID-19. I knew a lot of them. But I couldn't say goodbye because of the limits on the number of people who can go to funerals. It's the closest family members, and that's it.
I haven't seen a lot of my best friends for months. I really miss them. We used to meet up every Monday, often around 20 of us. Mick and Coach and Willy. That's gone, because the pubs are closed or only let in an extremely limited number of people. My wife meets up with her friends for a coffee in the park. They go on walks and talk. Kids do that too, the youth, the young adults. It's totally normal for them. But Irish men don't do things like that, at least not at my age. You meet at the pub or not at all. We also wouldn't ever meet up on Skype. A lot of my friends don't even know how to use it. And plus, you don't drink at home in Ireland, at least not alone in front of the computer.
I struggle with depression. And it's pretty bad right now. It feels like I'm inside a balloon as the air is being let out. I can't get out, but the sides are closing in and squeezing me more and more.
Ireland is still largely shaped by its Catholic tradition. I have the feeling that's why nobody talks about suicide or thoughts of suicide in Ireland. And actually, that's true of all psychological problems. It's pounded into us from childhood to not talk about things that hurt inside. A lot of older people, people of my age, still don't get it. They would rather just give people with psychological problems a kick in the ass and tell them to pull themselves together. But in Ireland, three times more people die of suicide than from car accidents. Yet we spend millions on traffic safety, for ads and campaigns. And there is hardly any money for education about psychological problems.
The suicide numbers are sure to go up by a lot this year. They'll go through the roof, I'm sure of it. People are scared. We had a three-month moratorium on rent and mortgage payments. The government decreed that landlords weren't allowed to evict renters if they couldn't pay their rents. The moratorium is now expiring. Where are people supposed to suddenly find money that they didn't have months ago?
All I can think about at the moment is Christmas. One of my sons badly wants one of those electric scooters for kids so he can ride it to school. I have no idea how I can get one for him. But I've at least put up the Christmas tree already. A lot of my neighbors do that: They decorate their whole house to give a bit of joy to themselves and the kids in the neighborhood. It costs money, but I do it anyway because I want to see the broad smiles on the faces of kids and adults when they see a house completely decorated for Christmas. The ear-to-ear grins. This year, it's more important than ever."
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Translated by Charles Hawley and Daryl Lindsey.
I need my car, even if I'm not driving any shifts anymore. Mostly for one of my sons. He’s autistic and needs routine. One of them is that we take him for a drive – exactly the same route every single day, 365 days a year. If we break the routine, he could have a meltdown. From the outside, it looks like a tantrum, but it is more of a reflex, a fit that autists like him can't control.
During the first lockdown in April, people were much more afraid than they are now. But they were also more responsible. The first lockdown didn't last long. And the second one might end soon as well. But I don't see any light at the end of the tunnel. For us taxi drivers, it doesn't matter if we are in a lockdown or at level 5 or level 2. For as long as the pubs, restaurants, clubs and airport aren't totally open, we will continue to feel the effects.
