Jason’s 4-star review:
After checking in, you are directed towards the waiting area, where you can shop at a small souvenir kiosk or talk to other fellow tourists. Otherwise, you can stand in line by the waiting area located on the right, where mixed drinks are served as soon as they open the gates to the premises. Admission tickets are taken, as you get lei'ed (No, don't even say it! A lei is a necklace of flowers) and one of the luau crew walks you to your table while giving you a warm Hawaiian welcome and a run-down of the grounds including the bar area, restrooms, and buffet table stations. The tables are laid out in a U-shaped format around the center stage. The first row are Japanese style seats (sitting on a pillow on the floor with no backrest, which is not recommended for the older folk), followed by 3-4 rows of 8-person tables/chairs. Most seats have a good view of the center stage, with the exception of the outermost tables on each end which get side views of the stage. Seats are pre-assigned so make sure to get good seats when you pre-purchase your tickets for the luau.
You can then walk around, and go to the different vendors making and selling either carved wooden statues, necklaces, ornaments made from leaves, or listen to a storyteller telling about the history of Hawaii. There are also a couple of no-frill photographers who will take your photo for later purchase at the end of the luau. Overall, the grounds are pretty intimate with enough to keep you entertained until dinner time. Otherwise, you can stick by the bar area or have your waiter serve you drinks. About 10 different mixed drinks are available, all of which are premixed and spit out through a soda machine with the exception of the liquers which are poured in separately. Drinks range from Mai Tais, Pina Coladas, Chi Chi, Lava Flow, Blue Hawaii, Green Passion, Hawaiian Sunset, Margarita, Honey Girl, Little Tita, Long Island, Long Beach, Nalu Special, and Island Warrior. I found the drinks to be a bit harsh on the palate. I'm not really sure if it was attributed to cheap liquor because my first taste of each mixed drink (besides the mai tais) seemed to be a bit repulsive before my palate adjusted. I guess you can't really complain for drinks that need to be made quick by 3-4 bartenders catering to the couple hundred or so people thirsty for liquor.
At approximately 6:20 PM, you can watch as they pull the pig out of the imu. Promptly thereafter, you can return to your seat where additional drinks are served by your waiter, and you wait as each table is summoned to go up to one of the several buffet table stations. I've been to other luaus where they have everyone just go up to a single buffet station, causing enormous lines and a bit of chaos. At Old Lahaina Luau, each buffet table is a bit more intimate as they only allow about 10-15 people at each station to go up at a time. Items at the buffet table include Kalua Pua'a, Laulau, Poi, Ahi Poke, He'e Poke, Sweet Potato, PUlehu Steak, Chicken Long Rice, Island Style Chicken, Maui Style Mahimahi, Stir Fry Vegetables, Local Style Fried Rice, Island Crab Salad, Taro Salad, Pohole Salad, and Lomilomi Salmon. As you are eating, you are treated to several simple Hawaiian hula dances on the center stage. You are then free to go up to get seconds and thirds, but it feels a bit rushed because before you can sit down to eat again, a tray of tiny desserts are then served to each table along with coffee.
Before you know it, the real show begins as a story of the history of Hawaii is told intermixed with a variety of hawaiian dances. The dances may seem to get a bit repetitive by night's end, unless you take note of the little intracies in their movements and the different cultural uniforms they are dressed in. But don't surprised if you do not see any Samoan fire dancers as Old Lahaina Luau is a tribute to the traditional Hawaiian culture. As the show nears to an end, last call on drinks are given by your server shortly before all newly weds, honeymooners, and anniversary people, and anyone with a significant other are called upon to go to the Moon Dancing floor (located just behind the center stage) to dance to a traditional song. A few more traditional dances are performed to conclude the show, and in the blink of an eye, the luau is over in a quick 3 hours.
Overall, I enjoyed Old Lahaina Luau. The food was pretty delicious, some of my favorites being the Kalua Pua'a (Pork), Ahi Poke, He'e (Octopus) Poke, Laulau, Chicken Long Rice, Local Style Fried Rice, and Sweet Potato. Drinks were a bit of a let-down but the free lei was a nice treat for a luau that costs close to $100. The luau crew was exceptional, taking pride in what they do, making the experience that more enjoyable. Although the dancing could get a bit mundane and there are no fire dancers, you will get to experience the true Hawaiian culture.