You might have heard the word “bicurious” and grouped it in with your definition of “bisexual.” But the two terms don’t mean the same thing, even though they can overlap for some people.
Nailing down an answer to the question “what does bicurious mean?” is more complicated than you’d think, given the overlap between bisexuality and bicuriosity. And if we’re being 100% honest, the term bicurious is a bit controversial for some. It’s often used to describe someone who's in a transition of sorts, or to refer to someone isn’t sure about their queerness. However, bi+ folks say the reason the term exists has more to do with biphobia — both internalized and external — than clear distinctions between bisexual and bicurious folks.
To help shine a light on the definition of bicurious, we pulled together insight on some of the most commonly asked questions around bicuriosity: What does bicurious mean? What is the difference between bicurious and bisexual? What do people get wrong about bicurious people? For answers to these questions and more, read on.
What does bicurious mean?
At its most basic definition, bicurious “is a term used for when someone is open to and curious about exploring or experimenting with bisexuality,” Rebecca Alvarez Story, sexologist and CEO/Co-Founder of Bloomi, tells Them. It's a nuanced identity because of the fluidity and questioning it encapsulates.
What this looks like in practice depends on the person. For some, it can mean questioning your sexuality but being unsure whether you want to act on your desires. It can also mean acting on your sexual desires for people of multiple genders, but not being sure about what sexuality label fits you best. Like all sexualities, bicuriosity captures a wide array of unique experiences, and no two people will have the same experience of what it means to be bicurious.
What is the difference between bicurious and bisexual?
In order to get an idea of what bicurious means, we have to understand how it differs from bisexuality. But what does “bisexual'' mean? According to the American Psychological Association, bisexuality describes “a person who experiences emotional, romantic and/or sexual attractions to, or engages in romantic or sexual relationships with, more than one sex or gender.”
But bicuriousity is slightly different, referring to people who are open to having an intimate relationship with someone of a different gender. The words are often mistakenly used interchangeably, but it’s important to know that they do not mean the same thing.
“Bicurious implies interest but not current or past activity,” Dr. Michelle Forcier, a FOLX Health clinician, tells Them. “Bicurious implies experimentation or exploration, while bisexual implies more stable identity formation.”
The term “bicurious” has been somewhat controversial over the years, in large part due to its comparison to bisexuaity. Some bi+ people have argued that the “bicurious” implies that being bisexual requires a certain amount of sexual experience — a first step to becoming bisexual, of sorts. Many articles describe the primary difference between bisexual and bicurious as a person who has “confirmation” of their bisexuality through sex or dating, versus a person who does not.
“[Bicurious] is the only term in the LGBTQIA+ umbrella that implies this pre- or before stage of interest and attraction to activity,” Forcier says. “Does this imply implicit bias against the bisexual identity? What of the implication of separating and requiring experience in sexual activities?"
This line of thinking can be biphobic, as people can be attracted to many different genders without ever having sex.
“I think for many folks, bicurious is a label they're led to believe they have to come out as before they've gathered enough evidence (via sexual or romantic experience) to prove their bisexuality to others,” Gabrielle Alexa, founder of Bi Girls Club, told Refinery29. “It feels like a product of biphobia.”
While some people may take issue with the act of exploring one’s sexuality, curiosity and questioning are inherent parts of many people’s queer journeys. The more common problems with the term lie less with the act of questioning one’s sexuality and more with the implication that people need to prove their bi-ness in order to claim bisexuality. Other people see embracing bicuriousity as a very essential part of that questioning. Like most things, sexuality is an ongoing conversation to have with yourself, your partners, and others in your community.
Is there a bicurious flag?
For those looking to showcase their bicurious pride, there’s just the right flag to do so. The bicurious flag, created in 2018, features pink, white, and blue horizontal stripes. While there are slightly different varieties of the flag, the most popular uses seven equally-sized horizontal stripes, with three pinks stripes on top, a white stripe in the middle, and three blue stripes on the bottom.
This is different from the bisexual flag, which has a pink section on top and a blue section on the bottom, divided by a narrow purple horizontal stripe.. The white middle stripe on the bicurious flag symbolizes people who are questioning their identity.
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