Have you heard of a miraculous place called the inside?
If you found this guide to celebrating Pride indoors, there’s a strong chance you already understand the magic of being within four walls. But on the off chance you’re currently sitting on a picnic blanket in a park, scrolling on your phone while you wait for your friend to get back from the store with some tepid overpriced seltzers, let me take a second to proselytize: The inside typically has air conditioning, whereas the outside can get hot, especially during Pride Month. The inside usually has toilets and running water; at worst, the outside has extremely limited bathroom access — and at best, there are some porta-potties of dubious cleanliness. On a couch, you can wear whatever makes you feel comfortable; outside, you might swelter in your favorite hoodie or feel conspicuous if you’re not showing more skin.
The perks of the indoors don’t stop there! Hanging out in large Pride crowds can mean lots of walking around and standing in the sun while you deal with heat, dehydration, potential COVID exposures, social anxiety, claustrophobia, and other hazards you may not want to, or may not be able to, accept. Indoor activities are often — but certainly not always — more accessible, with interactions and variables that are easier to control.
To be clear, there’s a difference between being an introvert and preferring to be indoors, though the two often coincide. I, for one, really like to be around other queer and trans people during Pride. I love to feel a critical mass of LGBTQ+ people reclaiming the world as our own. But I’m not super enthusiastic about wearing a swimsuit, I like to be able to pee in peace, and I sometimes find my outdoor armor — wide-brim hat, shades, SPF — cumbersome. And that’s OK for me to admit! Enjoying the outdoors during the summer months is so widely accepted as the norm that, when this guide was originally proposed, one of our outside-pilled colleagues asked, “What do you even do?” (I swear some people get sustenance through photosynthesis given the way they wax rhapsodic about being outside!)
So, in an attempt to earnestly answer that question, fellow Them staffers (and ceiling-lovers) Juan Velasquez and Sally Tamarkin helped me curate this list of things to do indoors during Pride. Here are seven great ideas for enjoying Pride inside! — Samantha Allen
Take Over the Bowling Alley
It should be no surprise that bowling is a sport at which many indoor kids excel: You don’t have to be a team player, there are long breaks between turns, and the shoes are cute and campy. If your local bowling alley doesn’t offer a Pride night, make one of your own by storming the lanes en masse with your closest queers. Who knows? You might have such a good time that you end up joining an LGBTQ+ bowling league. In Southern California, for example, Studio City Bowling League meets every Thursday night in beautiful Glendale, CA. And Mission Bowl in San Francisco offers a queer bowling night once a month all year long, not just during Pride. I’d suggest you really get in the spirit by hitting up a vintage shop and grabbing the most ironic bowling shirt you can find. — Juan Velasquez
Host a Queeraoke Night
Whether you’ve invested in a home karaoke set-up or simply like to belt along to YouTube while singing into a wooden spoon, karaoke is always a crowd pleaser. Maybe you want to do a theme night: divas throughout history, queer artists only, Chappell Roan, Broadway show tunes, the world is yours. Ask people to come dressed for the queer summer music festival of their dreams and use an app like Canva to make concert posters, tickets, and other fun keepsakes. — Sally Tamarkin
Go to an LGBTQ+ Night at a Roller Rink
Roller skating is a great way to hang out with other people and listen to music while still having a task to focus on — and in this case, the task is not falling on your butt. Maybe it’s because I almost never drink, maybe it’s because I’m a Border Collie in human form, but I like to have something to do with my friends, and roller rinks are basically big bars where the stools have been replaced with disco lights and an oval track. Many roller skating venues now host special Pride nights — or even monthly LGBTQ+ nights — where you can hang out with other queer people who probably should wear knee pads but aren’t going to because of fashion. For example, you can follow Pride Skate Seattle to find gays on skates in the Pacific Northwest. — Samantha Allen
Three Words: Gay YouTube Party
I'm not sure if this happens to anyone else or if it’s just a phenomenon that occurs within my circle of friends, but let me try to explain what a “gay YouTube party” means: Often at gatherings like house parties, group dinners, or kickbacks, things tend to turn into impromptu YouTube sessions. Someone usually takes control of the Apple TV remote and starts playing their favorite music videos — and sometimes people try to one-up each other by finding the most obscure videos online. Since it’s Pride month, might I suggest sharing the music videos that made you queer, or reminiscing about some memorable clips from movies and TV shows that were pivotal in your queer awakening? Whether you plan for one or not, a gay YouTube party is always a good time. — Juan Velasquez
Have a Gayme Night
Have you heard the good news about tabletop games? There is something for everyone! For low-stakes fun, gather your local LGBTQ pluses and play the timeless social deduction game Clue. Depending on the crowd and the vibe you want, maybe a quick-to-learn party game like Codenames, Wavelength, or Scattergories is the move. If you are brave enough to dip your toes into slightly more complex board gaming that offers some collaborative play and storytelling, check out Betrayal at House on the Hill in which you spend the first phase of the game cooperatively exploring a spooky mansion with other players. In the second phase, one of the players secretly turns traitor and betrays the party. The vibe is yours to curate: You could dim the lights and get some creepy ambient music going. But it is Pride, after all, so we recommend leaning into the inherent campiness of playing characters like occult enthusiast Madame Zostra or haunted priest Father Rhinehardt III. If you want even more storytelling, try a roleplaying game like A Place to Fuck Each Other, which explores queer women’s fraught relationships. Or check out Dream Askew, in which you play queer found family surviving the apocalypse. The possibilities are pretty much endless! — Sally Tamarkin
Have a (Video) Gayme Night
Piggybacking off Sally Tamarkin’s suggestion above, maybe you prefer your interactive entertainment on a screen? In that case, get a group of friends together for a pass-and-play session of the (extremely horny) Hades II, a queer-themed Jackbox Games party night, or maybe — if you’re feeling especially ambitious — a few hours of Baldur’s Gate 3 taking votes on which dialogue option you want to use. (Now that I think about it, a group of queer people would probably spend five hours alone on the character creation screen, but that can be fun, too!) — Samantha Allen
Put on a Pride Movie Marathon
This one’s not rocket science: friends, sofa, pizza, movies. You truly cannot go wrong. This timeless classic simply requires one person with an apartment in your friend group to tidy up, but sadly, that’s often enough to deter people from getting a movie night off the ground. (What ends up happening instead is that everyone meets up at a third location, we all spend a bunch of money on food and entertainment, and we never find an excuse to vacuum our area rugs.) So be a good friend this Pride and say, “I just wiped down my coffee table; let’s put some Domino’s on it and watch Bottoms.” As for movie suggestions, we’ve got you covered: Want a queer rom-com? Check out our guide. Do you like scary movies? We’ve got a list. Want to feel like you’re going on vacation without flying anywhere? Again, we’ve got suggestions. All you have to do is get out the Swiffer. — Samantha Allen
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