In many areas, I crave consistency. I like when the subway comes on time and how my hair will be reliably perfect on the third day since my last wash. But one area where I’m disappointingly consistent is in my abysmal failure to take a sexy selfie. Whether I’m standing in front of my bathroom mirror, lying on my bed, or sneaking a quick nip shot in a bathroom stall at a bar, it never goes well.
Sometimes the lighting is dim or the camera lens on my phone is dirty. Other times, I can't convince my face and body to do something sexy at the same time. The result is always a weirdly cropped, uncomfortable-looking photo that I'd rather delete than send to anyone else. And that sort of defeats the purpose of a nude selfie—at least, the ones I'm taking.
Instead of continuing to suffer from my chronic inability to take a hot nude, I turned to the experts: three New York City-area boudoir photographers who set, light, and shoot sexy photos as their actual jobs. Then I did an IRL boudoir shoot with one of them. Emerging from this session a bit wiser and with a much more convincing sultry bottom lip bite, I took everything I learned and applied it to my DIY “nudes” (which, for the purposes of this article, are not nude at all). Here’s literally everything I learned about how to take sexier nudes.
First, I met with three boudoir photographers to learn the “rules” of boudoir.
Disclaimer: There are, of course, no official “rules.”
I chatted with Irina Mednik of French Kiss Boudoir Photography, Elizabeth Beskin of 5th Avenue Digital, and Evgenia Ribinik of Evgenia Ribinik Boudoir Photography to get the lowdown on boudoir photography.
For the record, there’s an obvious difference between boudoir photos and nude selfies; one is the product of high-quality equipment and a professional photographer’s keen eye, and the other is a product of, well, a naked bod and a cell phone. Still, the photographers gave me a lot of advice I didn’t know I needed, and I got something of a crash course in the art of nude photography.
Their first lesson: Mood matters, as much as any pose or facial expression. This shocked me. I’ve always been one to run to the nearest mirror and snap a quick pic—throwing caution, mental preparation, and lighting concerns to the metaphorical wind. No longer. According to my boudoir gurus, I should put some serious thought into wardrobe, lighting, scenery, and ~setting the mood~.
Their second lesson: When it comes to poses and facial expressions, less is more. I have a hard time getting my face to behave when I’m posing for pictures—nude or not—but all three photographers encouraged me to chill. The same goes for posing. Beskin told me that some of the most beautiful boudoir shots are those that capture natural, imperfect moments—because they capture the kind of authentic intimacy you share with your partner on a regular basis.
After my initial interviews, I had the chance to model in my very own boudoir shoot.
Something all three photographers mentioned was that a lot of the “magic” of a boudoir session happens on-set—in the communication between photographer and model. I’m the kind of person who learns by doing, so I thought I’d give the whole boudoir thing a shot and (hopefully) walk away with a few observations I could apply to my own nudes.
Full disclosure: Ribinik provided me with the session and the photos for free as part of this story—which I’m immensely grateful for. Normally, a boudoir shoot with a professional can run you around $900.
To prepare for my professional photoshoot, I made a moodboard—something Mednik had suggested in our interview.
Laugh away, but the moodboard helped me figure out what I wanted my nudes to look like. It also helped me find photo inspiration, see what poses I liked, and compile lingerie I was into.
For the record, I would've happily included an image of my moodboard (it's mostly butt photos, because apparently I'm a huge fan of derrieres), but photo rights issues prevent me from doing so. So you'll just have to imagine all the sexy boudoir butt pics that inspired my shoot.
Then I selected some outfits.
Clothed nude photos?! An oxymoron of the highest order! But all three photographers assured me clothed—or like, partially clothed—photos were standard in boudoir. Since going full birthday suit can be a little awkward, they recommended I start with a more covered-up look (say, my partner's button-down or a cozy sweater over my favorite bra) and gradually strip down to my skivvies.
Beskin even suggested I select my outfits ahead of time and lay them out in the order I plan to wear them. (She warned that corsets and other tight garments can leave marks on the skin, so I should wear those last. I’m not sophisticated enough to own a corset, but, you know, noted.)
My gurus informed me that many clients buy new lingerie before a shoot, but I don’t have the budget for that, so I stuck with what I already owned. I brought a couple bras, three pairs of underwear, a bodysuit, and a button-down with me to the shoot, and Ribinik helped me assemble looks from there.
And I got some pretty dramatic hair and makeup done for the occasion.
Standard boudoir shoots involve about an hour of Victoria’s Secret-inspired hair and makeup. This gives clients a second to get in the zone before, you know, taking their clothes off. And the photographers suggested I incorporate something similar—hair and makeup, sexy music, a glass (or two) of wine—into my own nude selfie shoots. I don't have much of a problem being naked around people (just ask my poor, poor roommates), but even I thought this period of mental preparation sounded like a good idea.
On set, Ribinik opted for a Lana Del Rey-based soundtrack, and her makeup artist took her time making me look picture-perfect. I ended up looking like a straight-up doll—a look I appreciated for the professional shoot but would never have the patience (or skill) to recreate on my own.
Then I did the whole nude (and semi-nude) modeling thing. And honestly, it was easier than I expected.
While Ribinik's makeup artist worked her magic, Ribinik walked me through the fundamentals of boudoir scenery—which is basically just that you want to pose in a clean, well-lit, ideally luxurious-looking room. (The swanky Manhattan hotel room we were shooting in seemed to fit the bill.)
Though it was raining out, she explained she'd be keeping the lights off. Apparently, natural light—even if it's dim—is better than artificial light, because it can lend a soft, sensual vibe to your photos. Ribinik recommended posing in a window-filled room, like the one we were in, whenever possible.
Before I knew it, my two hours of get-to-know-you talk were up, and it was time to get naked. Thankfully, Ribinik knew what she wanted from each shot, and she confidently directed me from pose to pose—telling me where to put my arms, how to tilt my head, and when to really push my butt out.
I'd usually take my nudes on my bed or in my bathroom, but Ribinik made use of everything from the couch to the wall. I quickly realized how easy it can be to get creative with posing and scenery, and I tried to make mental notes of everything I was experiencing.
Finally, I took everything I learned and tried to apply it to my own not-so-nude “nude” selfies.
Before long, the moment of truth arrived: Would this effort I exerted to educate myself on how to take hot nudes actually result in hotter nudes? I whipped out the notes app on my phone, tried my best to recall everything I’d learned from my shoot with Ribinik, and got to work.
My first move was to revisit the photos from my shoot with Ribinik and to recreate some of the poses on my own (see my attempts below, complete with fun names from yours truly). I also drew inspiration from my moodboard, though that mostly helped me get in the nude photo taking mood.
When it came to doing, well, pretty much anything else the photographers had taught me to do, I failed. Abjectly. The monster that is laziness reared its ugly head, and I paid little attention to lighting, scenery, or getting in The Zone.
I took my nudes at night, so natural light wasn't an option. (I compromised and positioned myself near some not-so-natural light sources—namely, lamps. This mostly sufficed.) I also failed to clean my room before the shoot, which is downright embarrassing. I am adult enough to understand the import of a clean living space, and I'm also adult enough to understand that a vacuum cleaner does not add value to any nude photo. Apparently, though, I'm not adult enough to act on either of these notions.
As far as mental preparation goes, I stuck with the makeup I was already wearing, skipped doing my hair, and didn’t put on music—mostly because I just didn’t feel like exerting the extra effort. And as for outfits, well, ain’t no way I’m putting my naked body on the internet for all to see, so I stuck with yoga gear. (For what it’s worth, though, I’d be down to wear several of the outfits from my professional shoot in future nudes.)
Oh, and let the record show I have zero idea how to use my cell phone's self-timer function, and I'm way too lazy to figure it out. Selfies—awkward posing and all—are my bread and butter. So rather than aiming for perfect replicas of my boudoir photos, I adapted them as best I could.
Now for the good stuff. Here’s my attempt to put all my newfound boudoir knowledge to use:
Professional:
This is the first pose Ribinik had me do in our shoot. I love that it’s a casual introduction to what’s to come.
DIY:
Turns out, my arm isn’t long enough to capture my entire seated form in a selfie, so I ended up hunched over with my knee crowding the shot. Not sure I’d try this one again, but someone with shorter legs might have better luck.
Professional:
This pose was hard to hold—I’m basically planking on a bed!! I'm not the kind of person who does planks!! (Revel in this moment, because the only reason I'd ever subject myself to this is for the art of the nude.)
DIY:
This is one of my favorite selfies from my DIY experiment—I actually like it more than the professional shot. This photo sends an oh-so-casual signal to the recipient that yes, I’m in bed alone, and yes, I look hot as hell.
Bonus: My body is largely hidden from the shot, so the only thing I had to control was my face. And I didn’t have to do a plank in my adaptation.
Professional:
This is something I wouldn’t have come up with on my own. And since my eyes are shut, I didn’t have to worry about my face doing something weird—always a plus.
Ribinik told me she often instructs clients to avoid eye contact with the camera at the start of her shoots. Instead, she asks them to look down, glance into the distance, or tilt their heads back with their eyes closed (sound familiar?). Staring down a camera lens can be intimidating, and this helps people adjust to the environment.
DIY:
My selfie didn’t come out quite as well as the professional shot, but it still looks kind of erotic. I’d try this one again, but wouldn’t rely on it as much as some of the others.
Professional:
This is hands-down my favorite photo from my shoot with Ribinik. It’s artsy and interesting—and not at all what usually comes to mind when I hear the word “nude.”
A quick tip: In our interview, Mednik recommended I highlight the curves of my body by arching my back, popping my hip, or pushing my butt out. And I'm doing exactly that in this photo. It felt a little awkward, but it definitely paid off.
DIY:
I tried to recreate this one at home, but once again, my arm failed me. So I adapted the pose and took a mirror selfie, instead.
I generally like the way the shot turned out. But I forgot to shut my closet door before snapping the pic, which put a damper on the final product.
Professional:
This one is just. So. Pretty. Plus, all I had to do was lie on a bed and look down—my kinda pose.
DIY:
OK, so I had to modify the original with this one. There was no way in hell I could get my face, full body, and both arms in a selfie. And as you can see from the slight blurriness, I had trouble stabilizing the camera even after the modification. Let me tell ya, simultaneously stretching your arm, art-directing your image, and focusing your lens is no small task.
Still, I’m pretty happy with the way this one turned out. All I had to do was lie down, keep my face out of the shot, attempt to snap a full-body picture, and voila—sexy photo. (Pro-tip: If your face is doing weird shit, just crop it out.)
Professional:
This one was so easy to pose for. I just touched my lip! That was it! Plus, I really like the way it turned out.
DIY:
Somehow this was impossible. I couldn’t figure out what angle Ribinik used when shooting the professional photo, and every time I tried to mimic it, I dropped my phone on my face! Such a bummer.
Also worth noting: Ribinik told me a lot of people tend to hold tension in their lips. I didn't realize how real this was until I was in a high-stress (well, as high-stress as a DIY nude photo shoot can get) environment trying to take a photo with my mouth in it. I thought back to something she'd said to me both in our interview and on-set: "Keep your lips slightly parted, and breathe through your mouth." This tends to lend emotion to photos, and it keeps you from stress-pursing your lips.
Professional:
Let's be real, guys. Figuring out what the hell to do with your arms in a nude photo is no small task. Do you saucily plant your hands on your hips? Do you leave your arms dangling by your sides? What. Is. The. Answer?!
My gurus had a couple thoughts. Mednik told me I could use them to conceal parts of my body, revealing my form little by little—photo by photo. Ribinik took a different approach. She had me pose with my elbows up, which was way more interesting than anything I could've come up with on my own. Needless to say, I'm into this shot.
DIY:
I had to resort to a mirror selfie for this one, but I don’t mind it. I think the pose is interesting enough to carry the shot—look at me doing something interesting with my arms! (Let's pray I remember to clean my vanity next time, though.)
Professional:
More arm inspo. I'm here for it.
DIY:
The selfie version of this pose is more sensual and intense than the professional one, which feels a bit more casual to me. Still, I like both of them a lot. (Yes, I know my elbow looks a little weird. But I'm serving up a #look with my face, so I'll take the trade-off.)
Oh, and as you can probably tell, I had a hard time lighting this one—a downside of subtituting lamps for natural light.
Professional:
One of the biggest pieces of posing advice Ribinik had for me was to "do what I'd normally do—but do it way more aggressively." Apparently, it makes your poses looking more passionate. And this photo is a great encapsulation of that tidbit.
From where you're sitting, it probably looks like I'm trying to tear my bodysuit off. But I'm not. I'm literally just holding my neckline. But like, a little more intensely than I normally would.
DIY:
This worked a lot better in the professional shoot, mostly because I was wearing something with a V-neck (way easier to feign pulling in opposite directions than, say, my leotard). The selfie definitely didn’t come out as well as the professional shot, but I’ll probably try this pose again in the future without a crew neck.
Professional:
I love my butt, and I’m a sucker for any pose that accentuates it. This pose hurt my back after a while, but it was #worthit.
DIY:
Once again, I had to resort to a mirror selfie to get the full effect, but I actually like my DIY shot a whole lot. Obviously the professional shot is better, but my modified version got the job done.
Professional:
This photo is wild. I couldn’t believe it was me when I first saw it. It’s the result of bent knees and an uncomfortably pushed out derriere, but the seeming awkwardness of the pose clearly paid off. (If you want to recreate this, find a wall, bend your knees, and stick your butt out as far as it will go. Then push yourself to stick it out a little more. Imitating Kim K. ain't easy, y'all.)
DIY:
I tried recreating this one from several different angles—none of them quite right. Still, the inspiration is clearly there, and my butt looks like the peach emoji. (Which, like, what more can you ask for?)
In the end, I learned that taking a nude can be as simple as snapping a mirror selfie and moving on with my life. But getting creative with it can be a whole lotta fun.
Playing lingerie dress-up is entertaining. So is fooling around with different poses. And making a moodboard. (You never know when you’ll have the nude-photo-taking equivalent of writer’s block, right?) I’ve learned that it’s OK to experiment and take tons of different photos, and that when it comes to my face, I should just breathe. I also now know that while I can get away with less-than-stellar lighting, nothing can obscure a vacuum haunting the background of a shot.
Finally, I’ve learned that nudes don’t have to look over-the-top incredible; looking like myself can be (and often is!) the best course of action. Of the shots Ribinik took, my favorites include ones where I’m just lying down or doing something nonchalantly—not overtly trying to be sexy. Because those are the photos in which I look the most like myself, and that’s kinda the point of a selfie anyway, right?
