A Father-Daughter Swearing Lesson in “The F-Word”

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Dad?

Yeah, sweetheart.

Dad, what does fuck mean?

Where did you hear that?

Did Mommy's boyfriend say that?

No. Heard at school.

Well, we call that the F word.

Fuck?

Yeah.

It's a bad word?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Depending on how you use it, yeah.

Why? What's it mean?

Well, I guess the most basic definition is to make love

to someone who you don't even like.

Why would you do that?

I wouldn't.

I wouldn't.

You know what though?

It's actually a very versatile word though.

It's got a lot more meanings than that.

A lot of people use it as an expression of joy.

Like someone gets really good news in their life,

they're like, fuck!

You know?

But then sometimes when people are in physical pain,

that's the word that comes out.

Like, you stub your toe, you're like, fuck!

Fuck! You know?

So it goes in a bunch of different directions, is the point.

Turns into an insult when you use it as a noun.

Remember? You've learned about nouns.

You could be like, oh wait, she's with who?

That guy?

'Cause he's like the definition of a dumb fuck

'cause he's such a fucker.

That guy is a fucker and he fucking sucks.

That would mean like that guy is such a jerk,

and he really sucks.

You know?

But you don't just say it to jerks

'cause you actually say it to people

when you really agree with them too.

If somebody says something that you really agree with,

you're like, fuckin' A!

Fuckin' A, right?

Look to the future.

You can't look backwards, you know?

And also sometimes,

it can be almost like a synonym for the phrase

like too bad, too bad, you know?

I failed bio.

Ah, fuck.

What's bio?

I can only explain so many things in a day,

if I'm being honest.

As a verb, it gets really interesting

'cause that becomes a threat.

You know what I mean?

Like you can tell somebody like, hey, I'm gonna fuck you up.

You're gonna get fucked up!

And when you use it like that,

when you use the phrase fucked up,

that's not about trying to have sex at that point.

That's more I'm gonna hurt your body using my body.

Or weapons, you know?

Before I forget though, fucked up has one other meaning.

I don't want you to not have the whole scope of that

'cause it can also mean impaired.

Usually people say it in reference to having drank too much.

They'll be like, oh, I had so many beers.

I'm so fucked up.

You'll hear that one a lot actually in college.

That's where you'll hear that.

It can also denote that the state of something is broken.

That's another way to use it.

Like my marriage is fucked.

And you can use it

if you feel like you've been screwed over.

That makes a lot of sense too.

Like S-E-X?

No.

Good guess.

In this case, more like if you feel like you got

maybe double crossed in a way, you know?

Like good example would be like, oh.

Wow, mommy really doesn't care

how much she fucked this family.

You know?

But yeah, usually, usually it applies to S-E-X, yeah.

Do you know about the cognates?

The cognates are amazing.

Fuckface, fucko, fucknuts, fuckwit, fuckstick.

I always liked that one.

That one means penis.

They're all insults at the end of the day.

Have you ever heard the word fuckery?

Nope.

Okay, let's not even worry about that one.

I mean, we'll just stick with the ones that are more common.

Now, remind me, where did you hear it exactly?

One of the girls at recess said it. She said, Fuck that.

Huh.

I'm gonna need more context.

Teacher asked her to let me join their four square game,

and she was like, Fuck that.

Man, that is a good use of that word.

'Cause that's almost like to hell with,

or to heck with that.

Like who needs that crap, right?

That's a very good use of that.

It really is just like such a flexible word.

Seems pretty useful.

It is. It really is.

And now that you know it,

the most important thing is that you never ever say it.

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So where were we?

There's other cognates too,

like motherfucker is a great one.

That can mean someone who has S-E-X with their own mother,

but doesn't have to.

Can mean a lot of things.

I will never fucking say it again.

Okay, that's the last time.

Please don't say it again.

Okay. Great.

Also, that picture has too much fucking brown in it.

Last time, you can say it one more time now,

since I said it one more time.

Fuck you!

Okay, I've been hearing a lot of that lately.