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Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

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Ds4 will be ok, won't he?

14 replies

elliejjtiny · 06/07/2024 13:06

Ds4 is about to start secondary school. There are 29 children in his class/school (one form entry) going to the same secondary school but we found out this week that ds is in a tutor group on his own while everyone else from his school is in groups of 3 or 4 together. He seems happy enough and he already thinks his new form tutor is brilliant but I am worried about him. He has SEN including hearing loss and moderate learning disabilities so he is already at a disadvantage and he is meant to be having an operation soon with 2 weeks off school. We already know the tutor as he taught my older 3 and he is really nice so I don't want to ask ds be moved but I am worried and I don't understand why ds is on his own when everyone else is with other children they know.

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redskydarknight · 06/07/2024 13:11

How does the school organisation work? Do they have all/most lessons in form groups or are form groups really just for registration/notices? If the latter, I wouldn't worry too much - he'll see many other children in lessons. If the former - I actually think this can be a good situation as he has the chance to get to know others whilst having the fallback of his old friends (and any new friends they have made) at breaks etc.

Does the school have a summer school or extra induction for children with SEN? Definitely worth getting him on those, if they do.

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cryinglaughing · 06/07/2024 13:12

He'll be fine.
Friendships are really quite fluid in yr7 and 8.

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QueenofFox · 06/07/2024 13:15

My daughter has the same issue, without the additional needs but it very mentally fragile. I can't work out how class allocations in secondary works - surely everyone can see it's harsh to put one kid on their own and others in small groups?!

im trying to look at the positives ie she'll have to make new friends rather than rely on old ones but it makes them so anxious ahead of September!

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Singleandproud · 06/07/2024 13:45

Hell be fine, Primary school friends tend to cling together until Christmas then spread their wings, he'll just do it quicker. Not having his friends in class won't be an issue and is better as hell meet people quicker. He'll see his friends at break and lunch and joining extra curricular clubs in whatever he is interested is key in making new friends.

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Bluevelvetsofa · 06/07/2024 14:01

When I used to do it, we asked the children in year 6 to write down the names of two others they want to be with. We asked the year 6 teachers if they had recommendations about who to put together/keep separate. We looked at the mix of boys and girls, ability ranges based on information from primaries, SEN information and anything else that was mentioned or appeared relevant.

It took nights and nights after school, trying to arrange everything to everyone’s satisfaction. There will probably be half year bands too and they have to be roughly equal.

It really is a complex and lengthy process. We even had one form group comprised entirely of pupils coming on their own from primary school. I was always willing to consider a move, if it became apparent that there was a clash or problem, but it can often mean changing subject classes too, so it’s not something taken lightly.

For each child that moves, another has to move too and then it’s possible that someone else isn’t happy about it.

Knowing and liking the form tutor is a good start. The form tutor is your first contact if there is a problem, so having a positive relationship before you start is a bonus. If DS is ok with it, please give it a chance.

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combinationpadlock · 06/07/2024 14:03

He's not on his own, there are 29 others in the tutor group. He is in a better position to make new friends than the others who already know people they are with

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elliejjtiny · 06/07/2024 16:22

Thank you. I'm not going to ask him to be moved, I am just worried about him and don't understand why he has been separated from everyone he knows. He'll be in the same lessons with his tutor group. He's going to join clubs at lunchtime though. There isn't a summer school but he has been on the enhanced transition and so he got an extra 2 half days visiting the secondary school. He chose 2 friends from his primary school to be in the same tutor group as him but he wasn't put with either of them.

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deeprealisation · 06/07/2024 18:47

It could be an error but he's saying he's fine with so run with what he's telling you

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Singleandproud · 06/07/2024 19:59

I would imagine he has been put into a Nurture form group to further help with transition particularly due to his hearing loss. It's a good thing there will be more staff available and the class will likely have a TA or two attached to support. The group will likely sit at the front/back of assembly's together whichever is most suited. Go down to the canteen a few minutes earlier to avoid the crush etc. If he is fine and doesn't need that level of support it's not unusual for children to move out (or in) to Nurture form groups at the end of half terms.

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Lancslady82 · 06/07/2024 23:05

It might be helpful!
my dd was put in a form group with 2 of her arch enemies form her primary class! Honestly of all of the other 27 children it had to be them! 😩 I asked if she wanted me to intervene but she said not. In the end it worked well as a lovely girl noticed she was by herself and spoke to her and included her and they are still really good friends a year on. It made my daughter reach out and not rely upon her primary friendships.

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elliejjtiny · 07/07/2024 09:08

@Singleandproud a nurture form group sounds lovely, I really hope that's the reason.

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Bluevelvetsofa · 07/07/2024 09:39

I think it may well be. We tried to do that, so we could target more support towards a smaller group.

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NeverDropYourMooncup · 07/07/2024 21:58

Nurture group or it's exactly because his form tutor knows you all so well. It's a good thing.

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elliejjtiny · 08/07/2024 12:10

Thank you everyone. I spoke to the senco today and she said she will check the class lists as she had put him with another boy from his school who also has SEN. She also said that the form tutor has lots of experience with SEN and has won an award so that's why he is in that group.