My daughter is starting grammar school in September. She has done amazingly to get there. She is very anxious and has come from a tiny close knit school. Luckily a few kids from her primary school are going to the same school. They have all been split up in different forms, and my daughter is in the other half of the year to her school mates so won't even be in any of the same classes.
Am I wrong to insist that she is moved to the half of the year her friends are in? Surely her mental health is more important than their rules? She will stress all summer about this and is already saying she doesn't want to go to school in September.
Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.
Should the school insist on this?
thequickbrowndog · 06/07/2024 10:16
Flowerypaintings · 06/07/2024 11:30
Happened to us with Ds. The school also said no movement but we then had a meeting with the HT and she agreed to move him to the class with his friends. There were 12 classes of 30 in the year, from his primary only 5 including him were going - 4 were put in one form and he was put in a different one the other side of the year ! We insisted he was changed. Like you say MH is important
Willsean · 06/07/2024 11:51
You can ask, but definitely don't say "Surely her mental health is more important than their rules?"
That's so ignorant, as if the rules are there to be awkward instead of for a good reason. The reasons might not always be obvious to a child or seem necessary on an individual level, but a school is about everyone as a collective.
If you don't teach your child to respect the school rules then you'll have massive problems with her at school.
ChangeyTime · 06/07/2024 10:37
My DD moves up in September.
She's the only child from her primary who got into the school she's going to.
It's really not a rarity with selective schools.
Has your DD had her induction day yet? Mine has and already made some new friends she's excited to see in September (who also moved up along and don't know anyone else)
The same will be the case for your DD. You're wrong to 'insist' when you've been told there's no movement.
noblegiraffe · 06/07/2024 12:21
One thing to remember is that something that looks obviously wrong to you as the parent of your child is something that could easily be overlooked by a pastoral leader trying to create classes out of 200-odd kids. So it could be an error rather than deliberate.
thequickbrowndog · 06/07/2024 12:19
Children do make new friends, of course they do. But why make them more anxious about an already huge change in their life by splitting them from their friends? Makes no sense to me.
Maireas · 06/07/2024 10:31
Please don't insist on this. They've said no movement for a reason.
She will make friends with others in her class, probably some will have no-one from their primary school at all. Just leave it be.
thequickbrowndog · 06/07/2024 12:25
Thanks for the 'advice' but no!
Maireas · 06/07/2024 10:31
Please don't insist on this. They've said no movement for a reason.
She will make friends with others in her class, probably some will have no-one from their primary school at all. Just leave it be.
Ionacat · 06/07/2024 12:27
You can’t insist, but you can contact whoever is in charge of transition to explain the situation and ask if it is possible. If they say no, then ask for what support is available for transition as she is anxious and worried after the move up day. Schools often say no movement so as not to open the floodgates, however they should be absolutely be supporting with transition.
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thequickbrowndog · 06/07/2024 12:21
I said that on mumsnet, not to the school. Why be so narky??
Willsean · 06/07/2024 11:51
You can ask, but definitely don't say "Surely her mental health is more important than their rules?"
That's so ignorant, as if the rules are there to be awkward instead of for a good reason. The reasons might not always be obvious to a child or seem necessary on an individual level, but a school is about everyone as a collective.
If you don't teach your child to respect the school rules then you'll have massive problems with her at school.
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