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Possibly TMI - Sex when you have a newborn

16 replies

newmum1313 · 19/08/2020 13:51

Possibly weird subject, sorry! I have an almost 6 week old. I'm all healed from the birth and have started the pill again. I'm just curious how other couples manage to have sex when they have a newborn? I hate the thought of doing it while she's asleep next to us! Do you just pop to another room or what? Do you just not have sex?

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Ihaveoflate · 19/08/2020 13:56

Sex? What's that?

Seriously though, we've had sex 3 times since she was born over a year ago. The first time was when she was 9 months. By then her naps were predictable so we made use of the morning nap on a weekend.

I have birth injuries that are not yet healed, so I'm probably not the norm. But I'm also just too knackered in the evening, which just leaves nap times on days neither of us is working.

ToxicTracey · 19/08/2020 13:58

When the baby is sleeping, if you're willing to sacrifice an afternoon nap for it!

ToxicTracey · 19/08/2020 14:01

We only did it a handful of times in the first 3 or 4 months though. Baby woke up just as DH was about to finish once and that was the one single time we had sex that month that let to my (unexpected) pregnancy, felt like the episode of family guy where Stewie knows they're about to make his baby brother so he wakes up to stop it.

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Harrysmummy246 · 19/08/2020 14:14

Honestly, we didn't as it took a long time for me to heal and then an even longer time to not be too sleep deprived and milk leaky to feel like it. He was by then in his own room

SoundWithoutAName · 19/08/2020 14:30

I have an almost 6 week old and Dh and I have had sex a few times. We've done it on the couch and in the shower as I was like you and didn't like the though of doing it next to her while she's sleeping. Starting to rethink that now though.

crazychemist · 20/08/2020 21:46

Spare room. DD was a very shallow sleeper in the evening/night, but slept like a log after her 5am feed, so that was the only obvious opportunity. As you can imagine, it wasn’t a particularly frequent occurrence!

aimzxd · 20/08/2020 23:55

When baby is sleeping. We were at it almost every day from 5 weeks in but our son was prem so slept loads and soundly, and I had an emergency csec so wasnt sore down below, well below the wound anyway.

OntheWaves40 · 20/08/2020 23:57

No need to be freaked out by baby in the room. Wait until you have a teenager in the house, then it’s bloody hard work!

Sayitagainwhydontyou · 21/08/2020 06:57

We were far more uncomfortable with the idea of the baby being in a room by herself, even asleep, so we just put her in the cot in the corner and got on with it most nights.

nodtik · 21/08/2020 07:02

@OntheWaves40

Your comment has just made me laugh as it's SO TRUE

With an 18 and 16 year old in the house - you really HAVE to pick your moments!!!

XxxxX

Changedmynamelots · 21/08/2020 07:03

All mine did for the first few months was sleep, so yes we had sex whilst she was sleeping!!

I’d say we averaged 3/4 times a week and still do now

Suzi888 · 21/08/2020 07:05

Whilst baby is sleeping

vegansprinkle · 21/08/2020 07:11

@OntheWaves40

No need to be freaked out by baby in the room. Wait until you have a teenager in the house, then it’s bloody hard work!

Yes!!! This!!! I have two preteens and it's starting to get so tricky!

Honestly, with a newborn, as long as you aren't screaming and swimming from the chandeliers, they won't know anything. Pop the baby in it's bed and enjoy.

P.S.: congratulations

CodenameVillanelle · 21/08/2020 07:14

We did it quickly and quietly when he was sleeping. Usually in the same room as he didn't like his basket for the first 3 months!
It's really fine to have sex with a sleeping baby in the room. They have no idea what you are doing and can't see or hear you.

MoominKitty · 21/08/2020 07:16

7 weeks after birth and about once a week since (he's 7.5 months now).

We Co sleep and I don't like doing it in the same room as baby, so we grab time when he's happy playing in his ring or walker car thing.

firstimemamma · 21/08/2020 07:31

We didn't have sex at all until ds was 3 months - just not ready before then. We were perfectly comfortable to do it with ds in the same room as us. He was a tiny baby so obviously perfectly oblivious to the whole thing!

Around 5 / 6 months we moved him into his own room which of course made things easier.

When he turned 10 months he started sleeping through the night every so often (then every night more or less once he turned 1) so things became even easier then because we had more energy.

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