Active discussions
My feed Premium
Please or to access all these features

Menopause

Mumsnet doesn't verify the qualifications of users. If you have medical concerns, please consult a healthcare professional.

Orgasms in perimenopause

14 replies

MovingOn123 · 27/07/2020 22:48

I'm 49 and my periods have been lighter and irregular for a year or two now.
I guess I am lucky in that I am having no hot flushes or other tricky symptoms yet.
However, there is one massive problem I am having.... orgasms.
I seem to be losing the ability to reach orgasm easily and when I do eventually get there it is less intense and often disappointing. I have read this is due to decreased blood supply to the clitoris so I am hoping HRT might sort it out.
Does anyone have similar experience that was resolved by HRT or anything else?
Getting desperate, I feel I am way too young to be losing this part of myself!

----
If you've found this page in your search of orgasm gels and orgasm lubes that have been recommended by fellow Mumsnet users, you might find our guide to the best orgasm gels useful. Hope this helps! MNHQ

OP posts:
Report
CharlottesComplicatedWeb · 10/08/2020 23:31

Am joining in and waiting to see if you get some good advice.

I’m 57. Been on her for 4 years. My libido had disappeared to the point of non existence. Poor DH. At first, for him, I’d go through the motions a bit and hope that once we were up and running I’d be my old self. Nope. Nothing.

Watching with interest OP. Hope you don’t mind.

Report
jessstan2 · 10/08/2020 23:39

My experience was different, I felt generally more sexy, relaxed and confident about sex when I was peri-menopausal. It was as if I'd finally 'arrived'. They were good years. I can't say much about HRT because I wasn't on it for long and it didn't suit me, I had too many migraines. I was much better without it.

We're all different. I didn't know orgasms changed for some women coming up to menopause or after but I've never worried about orgasms.

Report
IndieTara · 10/08/2020 23:49

I'm 53 and been on hrt for 3 years. My libido didn't decrease at all thank goodness but reaching orgasm is now very difficult and when it does happen it takes forever

Report
MovingOn123 · 11/08/2020 07:06

I'm not the only one then.
I feel more relaxed about sex and more keen to initiate it, just the orgasm is not happening.
IndieTara, I am interested in what your HRT is? I am very sensitive to hormones and when on the combined pill my sex drive was non-existent but the Mirena coil with it's small progesterone dose made me really horny.
I am considering consulting a private HRT specialist as I think the GPs will just prescribe the standard (cheaper?) options instead of tailoring it.

OP posts:
Report
IndieTara · 11/08/2020 08:37

@moving on my GP was useless when it came to HRT, he just prescribed me one he'd heard of that worked which made me so sick it put me off using HRT at all. I saw a different GP and he referred me to a HRT specialist who recommended Evorel Conti patches. They were brilliant until all the problems getting HRT arose last year and they became unavailable. I finally got my patches back about 3 weeks ago after almost a year of horrendous menopause problems. I'm keeping everything crossed they work for me again.

Report
CharlottesComplicatedWeb · 11/08/2020 08:39

Ah, that’s interesting, about the progesterone. I wonder if a private HRT consultation would “cure” me?

It didn’t disappear overnight. Like a previous poster, orgasm took forever. Eventually, I just lost the will to even try. And so sex became even less frequent.

Watching ...

Report
Purplewithred · 11/08/2020 08:43

I still have a Mirena as part of my HRT, plus some top up patches. My spontaneous libido is zilch but it’s never been great; however I don’t have trouble with coming once I get going, and I find that when I’ve had one I can stay in the mood for days afterwards.

Definitely recommend seeing a specialist, my very switched on GP suggested it early in the process and it was money well spent - got my balance and dosage sorted out in a trice and cured my constant rounds of cystitis that were my main symptom.

Report
IndieTara · 11/08/2020 09:41

By the way the HRT specialist I saw was NHS not private

Report
BooseysMom · 11/08/2020 18:55

Also watching with interest. We have sex so infrequently that last time it happened DH said "same time next year then?!" 🤣
But seriously i've found that my sex drive has just dwindled away to almost nothing and when it happens I never achieve orgasm so I have given up trying. It's just something I have to get out of the way like a horrible job. I worry that DH will go off with a younger woman. Sad
I've got HRT to try for my mood swings and other peri symptoms but haven't started it yet as I don't get on with hormone treatment and just scan reading the side effects has made me go NOOO!! Shock

Report
CharlottesComplicatedWeb · 11/08/2020 20:57

Amazing isn’t it, that there’s no viagra for women?

Report
NewKittyMeow · 11/08/2020 20:59

I’ve been on HRT for a few months and actually my sex drive is improving after being dead from the waist down for a while. Not sure my orgasms have changed one way or another though.

Report
Delphinium20 · 11/08/2020 21:02

Watching as this is my worry...

Report
AuntieJoyce · 11/08/2020 21:26

Hi OP. I am the same age as you, I have been on HRT for a year now. I have had a Mirena for 10 years and also used vaginal oestrogen cream before the HRT.

I have the same issue as you. It is not the same thing as a low libido . The HRT has been excellent for my libido but it has not cured the orgasm problem.

From reading around this I think it is due to reduced blood supply. I am not sure what the answer is but it’s not the HRT for me, although I am very happy on the HRT and it has other benefits for my sex life.

I did once try half a Viagra tablet and I think it might have had some effect in terms of sensation but I could’ve been imagining it Grin

Report
MovingOn123 · 22/09/2020 20:16

Update:

Spent a small fortune on consultation with top london specialist. Prescribed me oestrogen gel, progesterone (to balance oestrogen so I still get periods, important I think so womb lining does not build up), both bio identical, and testosterone gel for sex drive.

Testosterone did not seem to do much, could have given it longer but felt it was making me spotty and giving me rage.

I have only used the oestrogel so far, as levels need to build up before taking the progesterone. However I want to share my experience to date....

Within 2 weeks I completely lost the crepey
skin that had suddenly appeared a few months ago on my inner upper arms and inner upper thighs. And I mean it totally disappeared! I really was not expecting this and it makes me feel so much more youthful. Also I am no longer waking up at 3am every night, I now get a great night’s sleep each night.

As for the orgasms, I have surprisingly resolved this without hormones. The solution was a battery operated clit stimulator which seriously gives me the best orgasms I have ever had. Job done.

There you go. Hope this helps some of you!

OP posts:
Report
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.