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Lone parents

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What to do with kids? Feel like a rubbish mum

40 replies

wantywantynahgettygetty · 12/08/2022 13:49

Hi all. Just looking for some suggestions as my mind is a bit poo

So - I'm a single parent to two kids (DS, 10 and DD, 2)
I don't have much money (£20 currently) and I can't think of things to do. We've been in the house most of the week. We've exhausted all of the parks, and I've taken them to the Bunny park and the cinema already.
There are some fairs but DS won't go on rides alone and I obviously can't leave DD on her own to accompany him
None of my friends are around (working or already away with their kids/family)
Some of the crazy golf places are booked up or expensive
Going into central London on the train is also expensive and quite a palava (tried this taking them to the Natural history museum in the Easter holidays)

My mum is working and my brother and his partner have good jobs and take their daughter everywhere.
I'm just at a loss for what to do. I'm getting very depressed and my previous depressive episodes have caused me to self harm and have suicidal thoughts. I feel like such a failure that my kids aren't doing anything

Can anyone think of anything fun that I may have missed?

Thank you in advance

OP posts:

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Unattainablepeace · 12/08/2022 14:21

I guess it depends it what you have close by. Do you drive or have bikes?
I'm a lone parent with limited 'fun' money and a teenager. We've spent a lot of time at the beach but I drive and it's only 20 mins away. Always take a packed lunch, drinks in a cooler to keep costs down so it's just petrol. We also go out cycling a lot, again depends if you have bikes/child seats. Or just a walk by the river, sometimes borrow a friend's dog for this.
We usually take a Frisbee, beach ball/football, badminton etc if we're going to the beach/Park.
It must be tough with a big age gap, maybe get the little one to bed early and have a movie night with your eldest. Let him choose some snacks/movie.
Sorry you're feeling rubbish but honestly kids don't need lots of cash spent on them to have fun, and they don't need to be having fun all the time either!
For the toddler a basin of water and some tupperware used to keep mine happy for ages!

Mumteedum · 12/08/2022 14:46

Hello. Single mum here too. It's tough as it's boiling hot so that restricts things too. I find holidays hard and also worry I'm not doing a good enough job.Hard when you see people with families and partners having a nice time.

It does depend what you have.

Have you got a garden? Water play with water balloons and tub with cups for little one?

Make up a scavenger hunt or see if there are any trails near you? Some towns have permanent treasure hunt style trails ir my local parks/ forests have things like that where you spot trees or minibeasts.

Yesterday we did nothing other than a trip to the supermarket ( which was lush with the aircon 😆) and today, a walk in the woods. DS is hot and happy just chilling out.

I am currently lying on my bed in front of a fan and don't intend moving for ages, if it makes you feel better.

Be kind to yourself. You're doing a grand job. X

Mumteedum · 12/08/2022 14:50

Some of these are a bit twee but also some not bad ones.

www.mykidstime.com/things-to-do/101-things-to-do-with-kids-that-will-cost-nothing-but-time/

autienotnaughty · 12/08/2022 15:14

Childrens centres, libraries, local council may have free activities on worth checking? Splash parks, paddling pool. Seaside. Woodland trails. Museums, soft play, visit friends/family

SpringMum30 · 12/08/2022 15:22

Splash parks, museums, national trust parks, library. All local ones to us are free. Take a picnic and grab some icrecreams from the supermarket on the way home x

SpringMum30 · 12/08/2022 15:24

Also if you have one local ikea have kids meals for 95p!

Rainallnight · 12/08/2022 15:28

That sounds really tough. How about a trip to the library?

Does the ten year old have any friends he could go to for play dates? must be hard with them being such different ages.

Kids don’t need to be entertained all the time, as well. Just hanging out at home with books and games is fine in the summer!

madmaxvecna · 12/08/2022 15:31

Make cakes, on kids pass website there are free treasure hunts

LateMumma · 12/08/2022 15:48

Geocaching perhaps? Our local council had loads of free ideas for the holidays, might be worth a look and see what yours are offering. Our local pool is also offering free swims, which might be nationwide

NewDogOwner · 12/08/2022 15:55

Join the Family Lowdown Tips and Ideas FB group; it has over a million members and has lots of ideas for stuff to do. There have loads of posts like yours. My contribution is a fort night. Sleep all together in the living room or any room that you can all squeeze into together. We watch movies and eat our dinner there. Child actually builds a fort with blankets; I bring down our mattress and sleep on that or on the sofa. It's great fun and doesn't have to cost anything.

SunshineLollipopsAndRainbows · 12/08/2022 16:00

Hi OP - you said your brother takes your niece everywhere. If they’re local to you, could they take whichever of your two is nearest in age to her & then you get a break from one child?

Itsgettinghotinhre · 12/08/2022 16:13

Is your school not offering any type of provision for your 10 year older? My school but different area to you has offered parents 1 week of activities 09.30 till 14.30.

Do you have a garden or children near by? Tbh it's too hot outside to be playing for a long time.

wantywantynahgettygetty · 12/08/2022 16:31

Thanks for all your answers.
No garden unfortunately (in a third floor flat)

Have asked brother to take my little girl (they are two months apart) but his girlfriend always makes an excuse as to why they can't.

I will check out the geocaching, sounds interesting.

And I have just heard back from the local playscheme that can take my son from Tuesday so that will be good.

OP posts:

AtrociousCircumstance · 12/08/2022 16:34

Just wanted to say it sounds like they have already had lots of fun days and chilled out home days are also valuable and important.

Bootothegoose · 12/08/2022 16:36

How near are you to parks OP? I know you’ve exhausted the actual park but the grounds are yours to use. Could you fill a load of balloons and go for a water fight? Fill them at home and take them in a bag for life?

Is there anything on locally? Do you have any of those water fountains nearby? Maybe a beach? What about a cafe with kids meals? Is it safe to let DS do something on his own for the first time for the novelty? Can he go to the shops on his bike? Can you not have his friends around to play?

Can you bite the bullet and ask your brother to borrow £100 and pay him back £20 a month to take them somewhere nice?

wantywantynahgettygetty · 12/08/2022 16:47

@Bootothegoose hiya

I've thought of asking for some money but the girlfriend handles the finances and she won't allow that
DS cannot ride a bike but he has a scooter

We also live in London so no beaches near by

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wantywantynahgettygetty · 12/08/2022 16:51

@Rainallnight - hello and thank you. We have been to the library a few times
And his only friend has gone to his dads

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Danascully2 · 12/08/2022 16:53

Hopefully others will come along with more practical ideas but I just wanted to say it isn't easy to entertain two of such different ages on a very tight budget. My small town has no free museums, no supermarket cafes or similar with free kids meals, the library is tiny and has limited opening hours and a bus to the nearest bigger town would cost you about £10 for one adult and one child. There is one not particularly brilliant playpark in walking distance. And I'm not anywhere remote by any means. So I'm just saying please don't feel a failure if you're struggling to think of things to do or if you can't access some of the things mentioned in some of these posts if you live anywhere similar to me. I hope you feel better soon. I'm sure you've thought of this but would ten year old like some independence challenges eg clean the kitchen or hoovering? (If he doesn't already do that sort of thing). Hopefully other people will come up with some other ideas.

TheYearOfSmallThings · 12/08/2022 17:00

The free school activities are great - I was paying £25 a day for the exact same provision you can get for nothing on the HAF scheme.

I must say it is disappointing your brother doesn't offer to take your kids along occasionally. If their DD is an only child she would probably love to see your kids.

Rainbowbaby13 · 12/08/2022 17:01

You sound like you are doing an amazing job 🥰

Rainbowbaby13 · 12/08/2022 17:02

Also your brother should have words with your sil what's her problem

wantywantynahgettygetty · 12/08/2022 17:08

@Rainbowbaby13 - oh man that would need explaining in another post lol
LSS- she's controlling, abusive and manipulative towards my brother. He normally says yes but then she gets wind of it and then I would hear some excuse as to why they can't.

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wantywantynahgettygetty · 12/08/2022 17:13

@TheYearOfSmallThings - yes very disappointing as they all play so nicely together when they see each other

OP posts:

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wantywantynahgettygetty · 12/08/2022 17:18

@Mumteedum
thank you for your kind words.

Oh yep I have a serious case of the green eyed monster when I see the lovely family holiday pics on insta or Facebook. Think I'll come off of those for a while
I do love to lie on my bed but it's been most of the week so now they won't let me do that in peace lol

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onmywayamarillo · 12/08/2022 17:30

Hi single mum here who used to have the same age gap kids.

I find breaking the day up helps...

Morning: quick trip the park while it's still cool. Lunch: cook pancakes get the 10 yr old roped in, he'd love that. Go mad on toppings.

After lunch: telly screen time etc

Afternoon: park again! Or library to supermarket to buy or ingredients for cooking. Or clear out your cupboards, fridge etc

You're doing a great job and also they don't need fantastical days out, you just being there is enough!

Sometimes I just search up funny pet videos and we watch them together.

Or get them to help me clean up 🤣 they go v quiet when I say that

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