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AIBU?

To ask how to travel long haul with a one and two year old?

74 replies

Waiteflower · 11/12/2022 00:52

Hi all,

Posting for traffic

We're looking to travel from the UK to Florida with a just turned one year old and an almost three year old so was wondering if you had any tips for the plane really as that's the part I'm dreading the most! We're hoping to get a direct flights but there's a potential they may be a lay over.

What are some really good tips for the plane as I want it to go as smooth as possible, I'm a bit paranoid about the kiddies disturbing everyone else around us.

I thought I'd ask here as they'll be bound to be something I didn't think of - I can't take them when they're older (not at the moment anyway) as this trip is mostly being paid for as it's a wider family holiday (very thankful) but it'll just be me, DH and two dc on the plane as we need to leave a couple of days later than everyone else.

Thank you

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ClaryFairchild · 11/12/2022 00:56

British Airways used to have a cot that you could put a toddler into rather than them being in your lap the whole time. But I don't think you can have both a cot and a bassinet with 2 adults. I suspect you'd have to have the toddler in your lap, unless you bought an additional seat for them. Long haul would be awful to do this with them.

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Waiteflower · 11/12/2022 00:59

As he's two you have to pay for a seat so it'll be me, DH and toddler in a seat and baby will be alternating between our laps (not the toddlers obviously ).

I'm not expecting it to be fun but that's why I thought I'd ask for tips and tricks if there is any to make it a bit smoother.

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BabyFour2023 · 11/12/2022 01:01

Have they flew before?

snacks
any comfort toys or teddies or blankets they have
new toys
duplo set
etcha sketch
colouring book / sticker books
mess free colouring pack
new puzzle / game
clean clothes (for all of you)
nappies & wipes
Carrier bag for any dirties

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Waiteflower · 11/12/2022 01:04

@BabyFour2023 the toddler has when he was around 16 months but it was only two hours, he did really well actually and basically slept the whole time but can't expect that on long haul.

Ooo thank you, those are some good ideas.

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TheTeenageYears · 11/12/2022 01:17

Book a bassinet for the baby. Travel with spare clothes for all of you. Wrap up snacks and little toys/activities for the toddler so they get to unwrap something every hour.

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Youdoyoubabe · 11/12/2022 01:21

It's fine. It's tiring because even when they sleep you don't necessarily. I flew long haul twice a year with my kids from when they were babies. Just bring snacks, milk and calpol and minimal stuff.

The hardest thing is holding them and getting your stuff together. The good thing about a plane though is there are always loads of people around to hold a baby for you for a bit while you sort yourself out. With two that small only bring 1 ONE bag!! The two year old will have to walk as the other one won't be able to.

You'll be fine. People like to help. Sometimes you'll find a nice person who loves babies that will amuse them for ages.

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mathanxiety · 11/12/2022 01:28

Buy four seats if seats are in banks of four.

Get direct flights. Do not do a layover in a random airport anywhere in the US as this will be your port of entry and you'll have to do Immigration there with the potential of long lines, also lost luggage, and missing your connection.

The only change of plane I would do is - fly to Dublin, do US Immigration there, and fly from Dublin to Florida.

Try to get a direct flight back the other way.

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mathanxiety · 11/12/2022 01:29

Also, Aer Lingus cabin crew are child friendly.

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ClaryFairchild · 11/12/2022 01:59

Honestly? With the toddler? Long haul was awful. The only thing in could do with mine at that age was to walk him up and down the plane the whole time. With 2 of you hopefully you will be able to take turns. They are too old to sleep a lot, and too young to be entertained by games, screens or devices.

On the plus side he seemed to have managed to charm about a a third of the passengers who said really sweet goodbyes to him as they walked past us when getting off the plane (we stayed on to get assistance).

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ClaryFairchild · 11/12/2022 02:00

Oh and Cathay and a Singapore were the most child friendly airlines for me. The staff even took my DS for a wander up and down the plane so that I could eat (I was on my own).

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Sling · 11/12/2022 02:09

Just remember you will likely never see these people again. It might go fine, it might go horribly horribly wrong. But either way you'll still get to your destination or get home. We live abroad so my two were on and off planes all their lives, as babies and toddlers mostly good, sometimes not so good, twice mind blowingly awful!


On a practical level-
Back pack not tote or anything that isn't hands free
Small boxes of raisins - a snack and a toy combined!
Change of clothes for everyone- you may not need it, or it may be the best decision you ever make 🤢
More diapers than you think you need.
Transport from airport to hotel - what's the easiest option even if you need to pay a bit more, everyone is likely tired and over stressed
Don't over think, don't worry about routines, too much screen or even a bit of crying.
Oh and breathe ...

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Appleblum · 11/12/2022 03:16

You'll be very tired at the end but it'll be fine. I'd bring snacks, toys, and extra clothes. Delegate lots of tasks to DH.

Fly direct if you can. If possible, fly with SQ. I was on a flight with them recently and there was a mother travelling alone with her toddler. The crew were so kind to her! They served her baby before everyone else, kept her food hot and served her only after she had finished feeding her baby, offered to take her baby when she needed toilet breaks, and would frequently check in on her. I was amazed and wish I had flown with SQ all those times when my kids were younger instead of lousy BA.

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Christmasfairywish · 11/12/2022 03:35

Don’t… Just don’t . Will be a nightmare for you, every other passenger listening to your children crying (which really isn’t fair tbh!), and to your children. Your toddler especially will hate being trapped on the plane for such a length of time and will likely be vocal in letting everyone know about it.

wait till they are older for such a long flight. If you must go on holiday go somewhere like Greece or Spain which is a much shorter flight.

Your children won’t even remember this holiday, so I think it’s a selfish and entitled thing to take them on such a long haul flight for an unnecessary journey. I feel sorry for the passengers sitting near you.

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Fraaahnces · 11/12/2022 03:45

I travelled a lot between Netherlands and Australia with 3 kids the same ages. (Younger two are twins) Don’t be afraid to ask the flight attendants for a couple of empty paper coffee cups for the kids to play with. (They love them.) They are also handy to tip snacks and treats into. Speaking of which, bring plenty of snacks and treats that they like. It gets boring, and bribery is fine on planes. Make sure you have all medications with you (calpol, etc, and measuring devices) because they do not have them on board. Take spare changes of clothes for the kids in case of accidents or spills. Headphones for the kiddos are a good idea if they like devices. Helps get them zonked.

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Fraaahnces · 11/12/2022 03:48

Also, don’t worry about their sleep routines. They’re going to be tired and wired anyway. Just let them fall when they fall. Don’t push it. Just don’t be the person who lets their toddler run up and down the aisle poking at everyone’s computer/meal/eyeball, etc… while looking on adoringly from their chair. Not everyone will think your kid is cute under those circumstances.

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Happyhappyday · 11/12/2022 03:58

Fly direct, book a seat for the baby so you have space. Don’t expect to sleep at all. Don’t bring tons of your own crap on the plane. Bring a pushchair and a sling. You’ll be waiting ages in immigration, even in UK because they’ll stick you in the bloody family lane from hell. Get a tablet for the older child. Dd at 3.5 (and never having had any screen time) basically watched movies for 7 hours coming back from uk to west coast of US, nap in between. The worst bits were waiting in the airport on either side.

we have a Stokke jetkids bedbox and it really helped dd to sit comfortably on the plane, she was way less fidgety when her legs were supported and she slept about 6 hours on the way over on it.

But also Florida is the armpit of America so I’d personally use the kids as a reason to beg off the trip entirely!

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Happyhappyday · 11/12/2022 03:59

Oh and DD hasn’t been fussy at all either time we have done west coast long haul, so ignore people who say your children will be terrible, they might be fine 🤷‍♀️.

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Simonjt · 11/12/2022 04:09

Book a seat for the baby, I really don’t understand why people don’t when it makes your life so much easier, especially as there is no guarantee of the bassinette.

Fly direct to US, the first place your land in the US is considered your airport of entry, so you have to do your immigration process etc and collect your luggage to have it transferred to the next plane.

Think carefully about what toys you take, nothing that rolls away easily or you’ll spend the whole flight retreiving it, nothing noisy either, but preferrably a few new cheap bits.

Take a change of clothes for everyone, lots of snacks and drinks (you can do a click and collect at boots), remember medicine, nappy bags etc as these obviously aren’t available on the plane. If the oldest isn’t used to wearing headphones get some practice in before you go.

Personally I always book night flights and ours have always got to sleep on them.

I’ve flown with my son since he was just turned 2, including Japan (furthest flight so far), all need decent planning and a bit of hardwork, but all have been fine and fairly smooth.

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PoTayToes80 · 11/12/2022 04:13

Christmasfairywish · 11/12/2022 03:35

Don’t… Just don’t . Will be a nightmare for you, every other passenger listening to your children crying (which really isn’t fair tbh!), and to your children. Your toddler especially will hate being trapped on the plane for such a length of time and will likely be vocal in letting everyone know about it.

wait till they are older for such a long flight. If you must go on holiday go somewhere like Greece or Spain which is a much shorter flight.

Your children won’t even remember this holiday, so I think it’s a selfish and entitled thing to take them on such a long haul flight for an unnecessary journey. I feel sorry for the passengers sitting near you.

🙄 to this comment.

I’ve just done a 32 hour long haul with a 10 month old. First half, fine. Second half he was really overtired, couldn’t settle and cried quite a bit. It wasn’t fun but also it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. Everyone was really lovely. And honestly the plane noise is loud enough to muffle a fair bit of the baby crying noise.

You won’t get a bassinet for the baby, unless your baby is on the small side. But I’d still pay for the extra legroom seats in the bassinet row. The room really helps and also anyone else who has booked seats in those rows will either be other families or people who should be well aware they’ve booked near the baby row.

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nalabae · 11/12/2022 04:39

You don’t.

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snowqu33n · 11/12/2022 04:53

Fly at a time you’re normally awake so it’s easier for you.
There are two of you so you’ll cope. Changes of clothes for everyone.
Hint: don’t give lots to drink right before takeoff as the changes in pressure can cause floods of pee. You can’t get up to change until seatbelt signs go off so whoever holds the baby could get drenched in wee also.
It isn’t actually a very long flight to Florida from the UK.
Long car journey could be worse.

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Tumilnaughts · 11/12/2022 05:02

Travelled a lot long haul to California with my now 6 year my old. At least once or twice a year since she was born. We also did Florida when she was nearly 3.

  • In the toddler years it was best if I brought her sandwiches and snacks as she often didn't like the airplane food options. This also meant that if she was hungry now she didn't have to wait for the food service to come around.
  • little containers of play dough. You can buy like party bag size ones.
  • tablet with games and downloaded movies. The in flight entertainment thingy was difficult to use in comparison
  • favourite cuddly toy and blanket
  • bribing sweets. Just to keep the peace


Also we normally book ridiculously early flights so needing to be at airport for like 4am. This ensures kids are absolutely shattered by the time the planes takes off and you can usually get them to sleep a bit for the first few hours of the flight. It also means that you will arrive in Florida at a decent time so that they came blow off some steam before bed and not be too jet lagged.
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Pussycatpaws · 11/12/2022 05:41

PoTayToes80 · 11/12/2022 04:13

🙄 to this comment.

I’ve just done a 32 hour long haul with a 10 month old. First half, fine. Second half he was really overtired, couldn’t settle and cried quite a bit. It wasn’t fun but also it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. Everyone was really lovely. And honestly the plane noise is loud enough to muffle a fair bit of the baby crying noise.

You won’t get a bassinet for the baby, unless your baby is on the small side. But I’d still pay for the extra legroom seats in the bassinet row. The room really helps and also anyone else who has booked seats in those rows will either be other families or people who should be well aware they’ve booked near the baby row.

Show quote history

I can assure you fellow passengers will be able to hear your toddler crying over the noise of the plane…

I had a 10 hour flight earlier this year from Washington to Heathrow and a toddler screamed the entire time… OMG it was fucking awful. If that wasn’t a necessary flight to visit a dying relative or something then that mum was being selfish… She got her karma though, she walked up and down the entire aisle the whole 10 hours and looked fucked by the end of the flight as did everyone else. By the end of the flight said toddler was actually making himself sick by crying so much and getting himself in such a state… poor mite.

Miserable experience for everyone all round.

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PoTayToes80 · 11/12/2022 06:26

If I thought all fellow travellers were miserable feckers like some of the commenters on here then I wouldn’t give two shits their long haul sleep was being disturbed by my crying baby.

I thought this was mumsnet where we’re all meant to have some understanding for other mums 🙄Imagine sitting in a long haul flight with a mum struggling with her upset child and when you saw her looking like shite at the end thinking nastily “she got her karma” instead of “poor thing, glad that wasn’t me” like any normal person would.

Pack some ear plugs and a bit of empathy next time.

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1Sky · 11/12/2022 06:41

I did a flight to Cape Town with my two at that age and it still brings back nightmares 20 years later. My one year old never stopped screaming from the moment the plane took off and kept it going for 12 solid hours on an overnight flight. Everyone hated us! It must have hurt his ears. If we hadn't been going to see family, I don't think I would ever fly long haul at that age.

But a Florida flight from the UK is not that bad. 9 hours I think? You can never tell in advance how they will react, just be as prepared as you can and bring loads of snacks/clothes/drinks.

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