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To think I can't be the only person to have had this problem?

42 replies

HerculesMulligan · 01/08/2020 21:37

Aha. Tricked you into clicking on a potentially dull thread about babygates.

DD is almost a year old, crawls at lightning-fast speed and is attracted to anything unsafe like a moth to a flame. DS is 6 and was always a sensible chap, so we are finding the experience of guerilla-baby quite a shock. DS has hypermobility and struggles with some stuff that requires finger/hand strength, like loo-flush buttons.

We need three babygates at the exits to our sitting room to keep DD from (i) hurling herself down two stone stairs into our dining room; (ii) climbing the stairs or drowning herself in the downstairs loo; or (iii) letting strangers in at the front door. However, now the baby gates are in place, DS can't open them by himself, and is understandably fretting that he might not be able to get to the loo in time.

The babygates we have all close differently, but he can't open any of them by himself. One has buttons on both sides that you press in while lifting a handle, one has a switch that you depress while lifting the gate and the other has a bit that you slide backwards away from the lock and then lift.

Is there anything else we can try? I only want to imprison one of my children...

OP posts:

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sleepyhead · 02/08/2020 09:54

Would an external latch for the downstairs toilet be easier for your son? A simple hook and eye at his height might do.

Sympathies- ds2 was a destructive force of nature at that age, both to himself and any objects that got in his way.

adagio · 02/08/2020 09:12

I sympathise. The screw into the wall type gates are often easier open than pressure fit in my experience. We also have a stone step in the kitchen, I put a thick bath mat (thick ikea bobbly type) at the bottom and taught her the roll onto tummy and slide approach to stairs. Like with you, big sister was a lot less trouble than #2 so it was quite a surprise! At least big sis also helped with teaching her...

nattynoonoo821 · 02/08/2020 09:06

Playpen for menace baby! We have a baby dan hexagonal one and I don't know what wed have done without it for menace 2

labazsisgoingmad · 02/08/2020 08:55

when we housesat they had a mesh type one that sort of just rested on a bracket and you just lifted it off and drew it back like a curtain sorry i dont know who made it but i thought it was good as we have all sorts of problems with these stair gates people tend to forget to tell us how to open them so we get stuck getting up to bed and we are a bit old to climb over gates!

SnuggyBuggy · 02/08/2020 08:31

The mesh ones that you just need one hand for are better, some gates are ridiculous, we accidentally bought one that takes 2 hands to open so impossible when holding a baby.

At 6 he shouldn't have to ask to use the toilet, he should be able to just access it so I'd remove the stair gate from the playroom.

Purpleartichoke · 02/08/2020 08:16

I would look for a gate that is foot pedal operated.

Parmavioletmum · 02/08/2020 08:14

I was going to say the mesh style ones too. They hook onto the wall if that makes sense. Really simple lift motion for him.

Abouttimemum · 02/08/2020 08:12

My dad got stuck on our stairs for 10 minutes one day because he couldn’t open the baby gate.
A play pen is a good idea. Or potentially leaving the safest exit open, our front door is always locked, the dining room door is always shut tight (equivalent of your downstairs loo). We have gates on the kitchen and stairs but otherwise DS roams around in the hallway and living room as there’s nothing he can hurt himself on.
Maybe reassess the dangers and try to find a safe route for dd.

Bluetrews25 · 02/08/2020 07:57

We never had gates, just taught them to do the stairs safely from when they could crawl. Made this decision after friend said if they ever forgot to close it, their DCs would be there in a shot, trying to fall down.
Took a bit of time and vigilance, but worth it.

BertieBotts · 02/08/2020 07:22

The one that you squeeze on both sides and pull up a handle - the pressure pads are dodgy on this type and don't hold firm. So make sure you put that one somewhere that isn't the steps. We have it on our kitchen. Every few months we just reposition it as it has slipped, keep an eye on it. It's the one Which condemned but they didn't recall them in the country we live in.

Fatted · 02/08/2020 07:10

You need a baby jail aka playpen

RedRumTheHorse · 02/08/2020 07:08

I had to send all my baby gates back due to a safety recall so just used a playpen. Now my LO can climb out of the playpen do don't use it but she often finds she can't escape rooms or get into others as she can't reach the door handles.

NerrSnerr · 02/08/2020 06:49

I agree, downstairs bathroom make sure door is closed and front door will be locked anyway. Can you put a rug at the bottom of the steps so that if the baby topples it'll be a soft landing? They'll learn pretty quickly to bum shuffle (or jump down doing 'cool tricks' like my children).

rosiejaune · 01/08/2020 23:42

I unscrewed the latch on our gate so you could just lift it up slightly to open it. Is there something you could do to your latches to make them easier to open for him? E.g. duct tape the buttons down so they are permanently depressed.

Clumsyduck · 01/08/2020 23:27

I have nothing to add because I struggled to open my own baby gates when dc were small and at friends houses I just climb over them because I can’t figure them out 😂😅 but your dramatic writing style made me smile

ACNH · 01/08/2020 23:24

@HalfTermHalfTerm it was just a suggestion, better than the boy struggling and wetting himself 🤷🏻‍♀️

HalfTermHalfTerm · 01/08/2020 23:06

@ACNH because if I’m honest I thought it was a strange suggestion as a fairly long term option for a child of this age. I think 6 is a bit old to be going to the toilet in a bucket in the living room?

ACNH · 01/08/2020 22:55

@HalfTermHalfTerm why do you want to know?

2155User · 01/08/2020 22:51

All I’ve got from this thread is that you potentially need to re-assess your anxiety levels.

Staplemaple · 01/08/2020 22:45

At a year old, how is she going to open the front door? I would personally keep the front door locked, shut the toilet door and just have the one stairgate, but only keep it shut if absolutely needed. If you buy one that is easier for your DS to open, chances are DD will be able to soon.

DamnYouAutocucumber · 01/08/2020 22:44

I think this sounds like too many gates, one or 2 steps is perfect practise for a baby who wouldn't be safe on a flight of stairs.
Our downstairs loo lock can be opened or closed from the outside with a coin, a 6yo (even hypermobile) could probably manage this, but not a toddler.
I don't understand how your layout means you're 3 stairgates away form DS, or he's 3 gates from the loo. Surely if they're all off the living room, then you're only 1 away? Or he's only 1 away?

slipperywhensparticus · 01/08/2020 22:42

shut the doors to the rooms use one baby gate tell ds he needs to hold it or clean up

You would be surprised how long a hypermobile child can hold it in those circumstances my son is hypermobile he can hold it an entire school day (he has sen and WONT use the school toilets as they are grim)

Jamestown · 01/08/2020 22:39

Poor little boy.

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Doingtheboxerbeat · 01/08/2020 22:36

Op, I have nothing to add as I have no children, but I was mildly entertained by the drama nonetheless.

HalfTermHalfTerm · 01/08/2020 22:34

Emergency bucket in each room? We used to have one incase someone was in the loo (only 1 in our previous house) when my boy was younger and would leave it until the last minute.

How young is younger?

Could you move the stair gate that blocks access to the downstairs loo/stairs to across the bottom of the stairs, and then just keep the door of the downstairs loo shut when not in use? Then your daughter can’t get up the stairs, but it’s much easier for your son to go to the toilet?

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