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AIBU?

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That day nursery can be as good as school nursery ?

137 replies

Sootyandsweep2019 · 30/04/2020 23:11

Pregnant and stressed. Will need to, ( financially), return to work 3 days a week when baby is 5-6 months old.

Looking at childcare options and, pre-lockdown, found what I thought was an absolutely lovely day nursery that takes babies 3 months to four years.

Staff seemed lovely, lovely outdoor play area, pets/ farmyard animals,regular trips out, home cooked / nutritious meals , literally everything you could want.

Naively I also felt for a baby that I would prefer a nursery over a childminder , as there are people around, ( in case anything untoward happened), and everyone coming into the setting is DBS checked. I also assumed that , ( if settled ), baby would stay there until reception as they follow eyfs. However, I've just spoken to my sister , ( who works in a school), and she has told me in no uncertain terms :

-Day nurseries are full of bored 17 year old staff who don't care.

They're horrible places which are lonely and boring for children.

-School nurseries are soooo much better, shge doesn't know anybody who would keep their child in a day nursery over a school nursery.

Have i got everything wrong ? Genuinely feel quite stressed and upset

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Nectarines · 30/04/2020 23:17

I am senior in a primary school and my kids went to their private nurseries until reception class. That’s because they were happy there and the hours suited us.
I’m yet to see any benefit for one over the other in the long run.
Don’t stress. Choose what’s best for your family.

LouiseTrees · 30/04/2020 23:23

Hell no. She’s biased. So I went to visit two private nurseries(day nurseries) before lockdown started. The staff were mainly older women qualified in their field with a small number of students doing placements sometimes their to assist. I’d say average staff age in facility of 32ish. No way were the children bored. The kids definitely did not look bored. Now I might swap to a school nursery at 3 years old just because I want her to know people she’ll go to school with ( the day nursery is closer to work than home) but that’s another matter entirely. Besides most schools nurseries don’t take children until they are around 3 years old around here anyway and certainly don’t take babies that young.

june2007 · 30/04/2020 23:23

YANBU your sister is. nursery,s vary in great deal. I have worked in various settings the one I am in has a nice big gaden. A large sand pit, A mud kitchen. They do cooking and trips to local woods. Parents are ont the whole very happy and so on the whole are the children. No where is perfect but would I be happy to leave my children there. Yes I would. (But also nothing wrong with a cm and I chose this route unitl children were 3.)

Boom45 · 30/04/2020 23:24

Lots of places don't have "school nurseries" - we dont. My 2 went to a regularly nursery from 10 months old and it was fabulous. I dont think anyone can generalise about any sort of childcare without knowing the setting.

DontStandSoCloseToMe · 30/04/2020 23:24

DS is at a private Montessori day nursery, it's wonderful, they have on site forest school and French for the older ones, music for all ages including the baby room. When we did his settling in day they brought the children together after lunch around the piano and sang songs, the older children had tambourines, triangles etc. I wish I could go there! It's just a stand alone nursery it's not attached to a prep or independent school, there are a number around here that are as good. They're actually seen as preferable to the school nurseries, some of which are excellent, others not so much. The hours also don't suit for most working families, and we live an easy commute from central London so single income households are rare.

Sh05 · 30/04/2020 23:26

I have experience of both and found that my son and daughter who went to day nursery struggled in reception whereas my eldest who went to a school nursery thrived from the get go in reception.
DS was at day nursery and was just bored.
Dd2 is now at a school nursery( up till lockdown) and is Guaranteed a place in reception at that school. Although this differs from school to school.

ludothedog · 30/04/2020 23:28

Depends how much you pay really. Some are good some are not. Mine went to a very good private nursery. It was excellent but bloody expensive. The best investment I've ever made

BeautifulCherryBlossom · 30/04/2020 23:30

Our school nursery is not necessarily practical for working parents. It's 3 hours a day which means either a childminder or other carer needs to pick up. This is not always doable.

My 2 were in a private nursery from 1 year until school. They are both fine, have lots of friends and don't seem to have suffered. I can't say they complained about being bored.

Entirely depends on the nursery. The local popular chain by us has some really long standing employees and lovely settings. Not cheap though.

I wouldn't write off a childminder though. They can be cheaper and more flexible. I appreciate it's hard to know what's best especially with a first child.

ScarfLadysBag · 30/04/2020 23:30

Our nursery is amazing but it's very small and no bored 17-year-olds. It's run by three sisters in their thirties and forties and is the most bright, happy, fun place. When we went to look around, several kids just came up to give the woman showing me round a hug, and when I left DD for 10 mins to go over some paperwork and came back, she was sitting in the reading circle and joining in like she'd been there forever I actually had a little weep on the way home as it was so perfect for her and what we were looking for.

We did visit another nursery and that did seem to be mainly staffed by bored-looking teenagers so we struck that off the list. But not all day nurseries are alike.

CaptainBlunderpants · 30/04/2020 23:30

Of course you haven’t got everything wrong. Your sister is being ridiculous. She’s making sweeping generalisations and is being really unhelpful.

Mine went to private nursery from babies until they went to school, and loved it! They also spent some time at a small Pre school when they turned 3. They never attended a school nursery as we don’t have any.

Ignore her, you do what’s right for you and your child.

SockQueen · 30/04/2020 23:30

Most school nurseries are only open 9-3ish anyway so not much use if parents work a full day.

bookmum08 · 30/04/2020 23:30

School nurseries are usually a 3 hour session a day. Or if you are really lucky you might get 'full time' (ie 9 -3). You would probably still need an after-school child minder. If you will be having your child in a longer than school hours day care from baby age then it would make sense to keep that until school age (ie 4). A day care nursery will follow the same Early Years curriculum for the 3 - 4 year olds as a school nursery.
As for 'bored 17 year olds' - well what an insult. My niece started an apprenticeship doing child care and development at age 17. She has done both Level 2 and 3 and is now a full time member of staff at a nursery - working at the moment taking care of key worker children. She loves her job and works ruddy hard. She is 20 years old now.

june2007 · 30/04/2020 23:32

Also wasn,t that impressed with my school nursery.

ScarfLadysBag · 30/04/2020 23:32

Just to add I have no issue with teenage staff, but the inexperience combined with the lack of engagement and interest we saw from them on one of our visits was quite off-putting. Our current nursery has a couple of younger members of staff but they are hugely enthusiastic and engaged with the kids.

Beebie2 · 30/04/2020 23:32

The day nursery I used was amazing. Can’t speak for them all, but I’m a teacher (and have taught nursery) and I loved my child’s day nursery.

LovingLola · 30/04/2020 23:33

Some nurseries are dire. Some are fantastic.
Same can be said about childminders.

LovingLola · 30/04/2020 23:34

Also don’t make the assumption that having people around makes a nursery safer than a childminder. Google Vanessa George.

GreenTulips · 30/04/2020 23:42

I’d say there is a different expectation between both settings EYF provision or not.

Poppinjay · 30/04/2020 23:44

I've worked in severall early years setitngs and as a childminder.

There are good and bad of every sort of childcare. There are school nurseries run by unpleasant staff who don't engage with the children if they can help it and just make sure the paperwork looks good.

The same applies to day nurseries, childminders and pre-schools.

The worst practice I've seen was not by a teenaged nursery worker.

Your sister has no idea what she's talking about. Look round lots of settings. Please visit some childminders too. There are some great childminders out there who can beat their local nurseries hands down.

Ask shed loads of questions and make them challenging. Then listen really carefully to your instincts. They're there for a reason.

bookmum08 · 30/04/2020 23:45

Anyone who will be in the house of a child minder while the children are there (eg spouse, adult children etc) would have to have a DBS certificate too. Obviously day to day people that might visit there wouldn't - like the gas man coming to do the boiler check or the tesco delivery person but that's just normal life. So your don't need to worry that a nursery is 'safer'.

Poppinjay · 30/04/2020 23:45

I've worked in severall early years setitngs and as a childminder.

Should have proofread before posting!

peajotter · 30/04/2020 23:47

I would tend to agree with your sister, however....School nurseries tend to pack a lot in as the kids are only there for a short time and get their down-time at home. So they may look busier but that isn’t always a good thing.

Our local school nursery is increasing hours to 9-3 and a lot of kids are struggling as it’s a small busy space. I’m not going to send my nearly 3yo for the full session. They aren’t good for 8-6 care imo. My niece goes to one and struggles.

Young children need a calm space to play in, with adults they can bond with. Doesn’t matter if it’s school or private or home. I’m a big fan of childminders for tinies. For older kids a school nursery might work with a childminder. The advantages of CM are long term bonding, seeing older kids and staying with siblings. The advantages of school nursery can be links to the school and qualified teachers on the staff. However, a good private nursery may be better. Weigh up the pros and cons and make your own call.

boylovesmeerkats · 30/04/2020 23:48

My eldest went to a school nursery although strictly not governed by the school it was on the same premises, same name but different management. Ofsted outstanding for so many years I think it put it top in the city. Anyway it was horrendous, honestly I can't believe we sent our son there, I will never forget in my whole life how badly he and we were treated. Other families felt the same and a couple of years later the 'head' was sent packing and Ofsted downgraded them.

So when our youngest was the same age as your baby we found a lovely nursery down the road, nothing flash but very homely and it was fantastic. Yes there were a lot of young staff but they were brilliant, some still babysit and the enthusiasm they have for the kids and their job is amazing. There were older, more experienced staff too. My youngest found it way easier starting school than my eldest even though he didn't know anyone and is a July baby.

What I liked most about the nursery was that they really cared about my son being himself, they weren't endlessly ticking of lists and it really helped his confidence. With my eldests they are pretty much trying to run a reception year a year early, following them round with clipboards, writing reports and the environment was stressful.

Find somewhere you like and trust, is it welcoming, are the staff nice, are the kids happily playing and not weirdly quiet, is there outside space, does it seem secure. Good luck.

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amy85 · 30/04/2020 23:49

Day nurseries have to provide and follow the same early years curriculum as school nurseries...none of mine have gone to school nursery

Pitaramus · 30/04/2020 23:51

I’ve used an amazing day nursery for all of my kids. Can’t fault the place. I preferred it to our local school nursery which was also excellent. Also, it provides year round childcare - rather than school hours care with nothing in school hols.

I also took the view that it was probably safer than a childminder. Just because someone is DBS checked doesn’t mean they aren’t dodgy, it just means they’ve never been caught! Whereas in a nursery lots of unrelated staff all get to know each other and I think would speak up if they saw neglectful or dangerous behaviour from another member of staff.

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