Mordy Golding’s Post

Common sense advice. And yet we’ve all been the recipient of such emails. And posts, too. Breathe. Put down the phone. Go for a short walk.

Great opportunity to work on a great team!

How are you measuring impact? In my own career, I have found this is one of the hardest things to do: naming what success looks like. We’re afraid of naming a specific target (ie revenue, engagement, etc) because what happens if we don’t hit it? Many are familiar with OKRs—Objectives and Key Results—and we’re really good at defining the Objective. But too often we don’t define the Key Result. How will we know we’ve succeeded? If we don’t name a specific goal, we can always convince ourselves that we’re working hard—even if we’re not making any real progress. When you fill your day with objectives, you’re busy doing things. You feel productive. But you may not be getting anywhere. You may not be moving forward. You likely aren’t having impact. If you set Key Results, you can also silence your critics by pointing to what you’ve accomplished: we increased revenue 45%, we reduced churn 12% etc. Take a moment and ask yourself — what does success look like? Are you getting closer to that or are you just spinning wheels?

What’s better than a great 2x2 framework matrix? James Raybould am I right? This one’s from Charles Duhigg’s recent book “Supercommunicators” (you may have noticed how much I’ve been sharing recently from this gem) Humans instinctively size up a potential conversation with someone else by noticing two things: Energy and Mood. Energy can be high or low, and mood can be positive or negative. The combination of these determine an approach you might take. For example, if I sense your mood is negative but your energy is low, I may try to cheer you up. But if your mood is negative and your energy is high, I likely steer clear. A great conversation happens when we have an alignment, so if I sense you’re discouraged or frustrated (negative mood, low energy), bringing an upbeat or enthusiastic tone (positive mood, high energy) won’t be effective. But if I bring my positive mood and match your low energy (a tone that’s more content, blissfull, or satisfied), that alignment will open a door for an effective and authentic connection.

How would you handle this situation? You’re in a conversation with an employee and they drop a highly-personal tidbit of info. Maybe you’re coaching them through how nervous they were during a presentation and they say something like “yeah, I had PTSD from a previous presentation I gave…” Or maybe you’re discussing career development options and they say something like “yeah, my mom never thought I could… oh never mind…” These are turning points in a conversation. A fork in the road. How will you respond? Option 1: The easy way You respond “I hear you… ok, let’s focus on moving forward…” Fight or flight doesn’t apply only to physical threats. If we see an emotional conversation up ahead, most of us will choose an easier path and avoid getting deeper. Option 2: The better way You respond “tell me more about that first presentation” or “sounds like you have some doubts, do you want to talk about it?” These subtle hints are often an invitation from another to take a conversation to a whole new deeper level. It’s a red pill / blue pill moment and you can either shut it down or you can take the invitation to see just how far down the rabbit hole you can go. Great managers are skilled at identifying these hints and building stronger connections with employees, ultimately leading to better results. I’ve been fortunate to have had managers who are highly skilled at offering to take conversations to deeper and more meaningful levels (such as Tanya Staples, Dan Brodnitz, and Jill Raines) who also know when to stand back and give breathing room. Tag a great manager who you feel has done the same for you!

Miscommunication happens all the time. Be it your spouse, your manager, your coworker, your client, your kids…. You say one thing, the other person hears something else. Yes, we need to work on our listening skills. And a great way to also make sure that we leave a conversation with shared understanding is repeating back what you heard: “Ok, so I heard you say _________, did I get that right?” Two benefits to this approach: 1. You walk away with the right information 2. The person you’re talking to sees that you’re listening Try it.

My local favorite Chinese restaurant seems to be getting into the healthcare business?

Suspense is great for movies, TV shows, or novels. You want to be surprised, sitting on the edge of your chair, wondering what’s going to happen next. Not in business though. No one likes surprises. If you want something, ask for it. If you want someone to give you the time of day, help them understand why it’s worth their time to listen to you. Be specific in what you’re asking for, and leave the drama and mystery for the movies.

This Holiday weekend is a great time to ask yourself, are you getting enough sleep every night? Are you setting yourself up for success or failure? How can you modify your schedule to ensure you’re getting the sleep you need to perform at your best?

Instead of: what’s the status of the project? Try: how are you feeling about the project? Instead of: did the customer sign the contract? Try: how did you think the conversation with the client went? Instead of: how was the wedding last night? Try: how did you enjoy the wedding last night? Instead of: how did the presentation to leadership go? Try: what was it like presenting your idea to the leadership team? Make your questions about the PERSON and not the SUBJECT and you’ll get much richer conversations and more meaningful connections.