Emily Griffith’s Post

Grief is that sneaky emotion that enters our minds--uninvited. Grief doesn't care about a timeline. Grief doesn't care about your rational thinking or that of others. Grief doesn't care that you experienced the same place, event, or holiday before with ease, control, or little emotion. Grief doesn't care how busy you are. Grief doesn't care that you've "moved on." Grief doesn't care that you're "over it." Grief doesn't care that you planned to celebrate, be happy, and enjoy the moment. Grief shows up. We have to learn to acknowledge it and how to deal with it. Life didn't go as expected. People we loved are gone. Disappointment happens. Hurt lingers. What will never be is our reality. Grief may show up uninvited, but we get to choose to open the door for it to leave. How well we do that is a reflection of how we process our grief. Do you find grief showing up in your life in unexpected places?

Avoiding your grief when it first shows up is understandable. It's your body + mind’s way of protecting you. It’s a short-term relief that feels limboish Buying your being some time before the reality crashes on you. That life can’t and won’t ever be the same. Your unprocessed grief waits to be acknowledged. Your unfelt feelings are compounding. Creating anxiety for your present while leaving grief for your future. I know surrendering to your grief can feel overwhelming. Because you are afraid, you won't be able to "get back" to yourself. Not realizing that the version of you before the grief is gone. And that you have to mourn that, too. I know that you feel stuck. Because you want to move forward. Not realizing that the guilt for even thinking about it will stop you. Moving onward may look like forgetting. It doesn't have to be like this. The discomfort you allow yourself to feel now will lead to long-term healing. All you have to do is be willing. Book a consultation on my page to begin. I will show you that your grief doesn't have to be something that holds you back but can propel you forward Wherever you want to go.

Avoiding your grief when it first shows up is understandable. It's your body + mind’s way of protecting you. It’s a short-term relief that feels limboish Buying your being some time before the reality crashes on you. That life can’t and won’t ever be the same. Your unprocessed grief waits to be acknowledged. Your unfelt feelings are compounding. Creating anxiety for your present while leaving grief for your future. I know surrendering to your grief can feel overwhelming. Because you are afraid, you won't be able to "get back" to yourself. Not realizing that the version of you before the grief is gone. And that you have to mourn that, too. I know that you feel stuck. Because you want to move forward. Not realizing that the guilt for even thinking about it will stop you. And that moving onward may look like forgetting. It doesn't have to be like this. The discomfort you allow yourself to feel now will lead to long-term healing. All you have to do is be willing. Book a consult with me here to begin: https://lnkd.in/ejPVFcC6 I will show you that your grief doesn't have to be something that holds you back but can propel you forward Wherever you want to go.

If you're going through grief, please know this— As a chaplain, I've worked with hundreds of people who have experienced losses of all kinds and almost everyone tells me the same thing: "Abby, I tried to figure it out on my own but I just can't." They then tell me everything they've done: - Reading books - Internal reflection - Practicing meditations - Being patient with themselves - Following therapists on social media - Honoring their loved one in their lives But when it all still doesn't feel like "enough," only then do they reach out for help from this place of feeling inadequate. So one of the first things I tell them is that they haven't failed—grief is just different. In our individualistic society, we often work from the assumption that we not only CAN do everything on our own if we work hard enough, but that we SHOULD do it this way. But this is impossible with grief because grief inherently requires connection. Grief needs to be seen—by another. Grief needs to be heard—by another. Grief needs to be shared—with another. Grief needs to be witnessed—by another. Grief needs to be held and honored—in community. No matter how smart you are or how hard you work, you are still only ever a single human being and therefore can't play the role of both griever and receiver. So if you're struggling and have placed the additional burden on yourself of expecting yourself to be able to navigate this all on your own, please go easy. Nothing is wrong with you. You are enough. We just need others in life—and that can be beautiful. ✨ ------------------- P.S. Are you holding any grief these days?

No one can tell you the magnitude of your grief. You are the one in your body experiencing it. So even when some people around you minimize it or compare it to what they are going through, it doesn't matter. There is no competition. Your grief is real and valid. Losing a loved one isn’t the only time grief shows up. Anytime there is a life transition, you grieve the familiar as you step into the unknown. And you are going through it without societal acceptance or empathy for your situation. Our world doesn't want to make room for grief, yet it is a universal experience that every person on the planet will go through multiple times. When you allow grief some breathing room, you begin to feel better. When you acknowledge your grief, it starts to move through you. When you accept that grieving is healing, it will transform your life. This is the work I do with my clients every day. We look at how grief impacts the macro and micro. And we integrate it. I can help you with this, too: https://lnkd.in/ejPVFcC6

When I focused on alleviating my grief, not working through it, I caused more emotional turmoil for myself. Because all I was doing was kicking my grief can down the road. That was future Emily’s problems. Well, the future came to collect when more grief-stricken events happened. And it felt like I was drowning. I learned that waiting for something to change was not the same as having patience while you made changes. Waiting is a stuck person’s game. The emotional shortcut I needed to take was to participate in the holy act of grieving. Because it served a purpose. Grieving is a quiet rebellion. It's making you and your health a priority. It's self-care at the highest level. I create a space for myself and my clients to grieve openly and honestly so that we can manage our grief in rooms where it's not welcomed. Because those rooms will demand you keep going, and they don't care if it’s at the expense of yourself. I do. It's not abnormal to grieve. What's not normal is having people, systems, and institutions who are not invested in you dictate what’s “right” about grief and the grieving process. Grief is not a punishment. It’s a recognition of love changing form. I help my clients do this work and feel better. I can help you, too: https://lnkd.in/eXAZmAbF

Grieving Our Stories While Sifting through the stories that no longer serve us is imperative in healing, seeking understanding of how our stories came to be can be painful and unsettling. Along with the wide range of emotional experiences that can arise within this process is grief. You may even be feeling a tinge of grief now, which would make so much sense as you explore experiences that might have been painful to revisit and as you've taken a deeper look at your story. We often don't talk about grief in this way; however, it is present not only when someone dies but when parts of our lives change and end in various ways. Maybe you've experienced this kind of grief before. Perhaps you experienced grief when you moved away from your childhood home, or grew apart from a good friend, or were let go from a job you loved, or experienced a breakup from a partner with whom you imagined spending your life. Coming to terms with your story almost always entails a process of grieving. It might be grieving the relationship you didn't get with your caregivers. It might be grieving what never happened or what you never got to feel. Whatever grief looks like in your own story, acknowledging it is critical. Your grief is valid.

Grief has been showing up this past month in myself and in the groups I am a part of. Grief is not an emotion that comes up often for me. When it does, I tend to dwell in the thoughts associated with the grief and am then swept away by my thinking. Because I am a Self-Compassion Teacher & Coach, I am reminded to practice what I teach. In addition to being in Gabor Maté’s Compassionate Inquiry training, I am approaching my recent grief in a different way. I experienced the grief as a strong pressure arising in my torso with nowhere for this pressure to go, and I was overwhelmed by this. I remembered Mindful Self Compassion’s soothing touch. I then tried being with the grief by placing both hands over my heart as a way of being there for myself - not trying to make it go away. In the groups I have participated in this past month - the grief was external. For instance - climate change, racism, and war. We talked about how to support each other by forming another group where we might hold and process our grief together - knowing we are not alone. Grief shows up because we have lost something precious that we can never get back - whether it is loss of a loved one, loss of childhood, or loss of a species. By creating space to mourn, by allowing the grief to be present as much as we’re able, we allow the grief to dissipate or maybe even loosen its hold on us. And if we’re not able to create the space for mourning, what do we need to care for ourselves in these moments? By being with, by accepting what is, we begin to create a healthier relationship with our grief. From here, we might become more open to another possibility. This is the insight I gained this month. I would love to know your experience and for you to share your insight in regards to grief in the comments section here. In Blackwater Woods Mary Oliver To live in this world you must be able to do three things: to love what is mortal; to hold it against your bones knowing your own life depends on it; and, when the time comes to let it go, to let it go.

My experience with grief and what I’ve been learning about it. 1.    Grief is inevitable, because it’s about loss; and we all experience loss. Some losses are greater than others, that’s for sure. And we all grieve loss to the extent of our attachment and connection to that loss. 2.    You can’t heal, what you can’t feel. Grief requires attention for the healing to occur; and grief is full of emotion that needs to be felt. We can push it down, ignore it, dismiss it, minimize it, but when we do that, it eventually surfaces in one way or another. Usually disease. 3.    No two people experience grief in an identical manner and that’s because we’re all different and what we’ve lost is unique to each of us. This means that no one can really know what we feel. We may experience the emotions of grief but we’ll each experience them differently. 4.    Grief will be finished when it is finished. It’s not like a cold that comes and then eventually goes away. It stays with us for the long haul. There is no time limit to it, but time helps us become less crippled by the pain. Eventually, the heaviness becomes lighter. 5.    Grief affects every part of our lives. It’s not just about the big loss we’ve experienced but it comes along with secondary losses as well. These could be the loss of confidence, security, finances, relationships, dreams, identity, etc. 6.    Grief is not meant to be done alone. We need to talk about it. We want it to be witnessed. It’s not meant to be kept in silence, quiet, tucked away, unnoticed. 7.    Grief happens within us. It’s what is happening inside of us. No one can see it. That’s why we can laugh and still be grieving. Mourning, however, is the expression of grief. That is what most people get to see, notice, and experience with us. 8.    Grief changes us, grows us, sharpens us…if we allow it to. Losing my beautiful husband has challenged me to open myself up to the experience of grief and be transformed by it. I have much to learn from it yet. Jacqueline #griefjourney #aleadersgriefjourney #leadersgrieve #changes

We live in a culture that distorts reality. A culture that lies to us regularly because the truth about grief is uncomfortable and inconvenient. Ignoring death and grief as a community cannot rid us of the experience of either. No matter how much we hide it from conversation or view. We have come to a place where we promote policies that tell us grief is brief. That it is something to get over or move past. That the only part of grief is sadness, or only emotional in nature. The truth is much more complex, it impacts every part of a person. Grief is a gift. Grief is not death, but the way in which our bodies, minds, spirits and hearts adjust to a life without the presence of what we have lost. It has a purpose. It helps us to reorient ourselves. Embracing grief's invitations, even the uncomfortable ones is a key to unlocking a fullness of life that is only possible to experience by accepting what grief has to offer us. If you need help through exploring what grief has for you, for understanding what it is trying to do for you, please reach out!