💥 Amy Kean 💥’s Post

Men, what are you doing about the “rock and a hard place” some women experience when trying to give feedback in a professional setting? I was having a fabulous conversation the other day with Linda and it inspired this question. As women who have worked on many male dominated teams, we found this topic of feedback of particular interest when it comes to gendered differences. If I give direct feedback in a blunt way (e.g. “You’re missing [x]”), I can be perceived as “not a team player”. Even worse, gender specific insults often come into play. If I soften my feedback and make it more gentle (e.g. “I can’t find [x], which I was expecting to see, can you help me find it?”) then I can reduce my credibility, and create the appearance that perhaps I’m just a bit dense. Using discourse markers is seen as both feminine and unprofessional. Things like “I just want to understand better, do you mean [x]” in meetings is something you’re probably very used to hearing, but how often is it coming from a man? Of course, I’ve made sweeping generalizations in this exploration, and many women have found clever ways to avoid being labeled with those gender specific insults AND have maintained credibility and respect. Women are brilliant, we do our best to navigate around these things. But men - what are you doing about the feedback culture in/on your teams and how are you ensuring women you work with are able to give feedback without harming their reputation or their credibility?

Unequal feedback. The research finding shows that women tend to receive feedback that is more focused on personality traits or "kindness" compared to men who receive more actionable feedback on their work performance. What's the problem with getting that "nicer" feedback? It doesn't give women the specific information they need to improve their skills and advance in their careers, leaving them unsure of their strengths and weaknesses. Consequence? It argues that this unequal feedback can create a situation where men are better equipped to gain promotions and leadership positions. How can we, as managers, colleagues, and mentors, ensure that everyone receives constructive criticism that focuses on specific actions and skills for growth? Beyond gender, does feedback that focuses on personality traits or “kindness” ever have a place in the workplace? When might it be helpful or when might it be detrimental? This research highlights the need for a shift in feedback culture.

‘So casually cruel in the name of being honest.’ That line from Taylor Swift’s iconic song ‘All Too Well’ always makes me reflect about how we give feedback. It reminds us that direct and honest feedback may not go over well and can indeed be counterproductive, as INSEAD Professor Erin Meyer explains in this Harvard Business Review article. That’s especially the case when we’re working with people from diverse backgrounds. What works better is to understand the norms of feedback recipients and adjust for them. ‘Diversity in the workplace … increases the likelihood that people will interpret feedback as an act of hostility. That means that people must be careful about how they provide it,’ she says. For example, there are substantial differences across cultures, genders and generations about who should give feedback to whom, and the mix of praise and criticism in how it’s articulated.   Professor Meyer cites studies showing men are much more likely to give unrequested advice to women as women are to give it to men. Meyer says: '“Manvising” hasn’t made it into our lexicon yet, but most women find the phenomenon equally familiar. The term describes moments when men give women advice that they have neither asked for nor want.’ Professor Meyer outlines three A’s of feedback. ‘The first A is that feedback must be intended to assist. (It should always be provided with the genuine intention of helping your counterpart succeed and never be given just to get frustration off your chest.) The second is that it must be actionable. If it’s not crystal clear from your input what your counterpart can do to improve, then keep it to yourself. ‘The third A is to ask for feedback before you provide it. This is especially important with cross-gender interactions. …Unless someone has specifically requested your advice (in which case jump in and give it), solicit suggestions about your own work before you offer anyone your insights.’ Meyer also recommends a technique we often use in our Inclusive Leadership workshops - a “start, stop, continue” structure - describing one thing to start doing, one thing to stop doing, and one thing to continue. We'd love to hear your thoughts too. Kristy Macfarlane Jill Skromanis Anna Carter Tarang Chawla Grazia Pecoraro 🌈 Greta Johnson Edward Biggs Vijaya Joshi, GAICD

Research that shows that women tend to get inaccurate, unclear feedback. It often focuses on their personality or someone else's feelings and is 20% less actionable than the feedback men receive. This means women aren't receiving the same opportunities to grow and progress. I recently attended a brilliant workshop hosted by IPA (Institute of Practitioners in Advertising) and facilitated by 💥 Amy Kean 💥 of Good Shout. Amy shared a super simple framework on how to give good feedback. I shared it in a workshop yesterday (with permission) and was reminded how great it is, so wanted to share / shout-out Amy. Firstly, "feedback is things, feedback is not feelings". Such a simple question to ask before sharing feedback and to help identify any bias impacting your thinking. Then the 4 steps to giving the feedback: 1. Say the thing. 2. Say the impact of the thing. 3. Discuss what led to the thing. 4. If the feedback was bad, suggest an alternative to the thing. Not only does this framework help the person giving the feedback, it also means people are consistently receiving specific, actionable feedback. Hope this is helpful and thank you again Amy 🙌

I have been collecting a lot feedback recently, which I truly view as a gift. It is generous of a colleague to take time in response to a request to think about where I am and share their thoughts. What is always interesting and sometimes surprising to me is how much I learn about people's values through the exercise. In earlier years, I used to see variation in feedback as reflecting either (generously) that I show up differently in different settings, or (ungenerously) that some people were perceptive and others were not. But now more often than not, I see feedback as a way to learn about what my colleagues value as much as it is to learn about my own growth opportunities. There is a clear divide of encouraging/appreciating influencing versus facilitating (correlated with gender, a topic for another time). As someone who is more naturally inclined and more capable at the latter, the former always feels like wearing ill-fitting shoes. And I've long felt that the challenge for me is to find a way to influence that feels authentic. But these days, I find myself wondering, as I often do when it comes to topics of women in the workplace, can I just not?

The three A’s of feedback: 1. Feedback must be intended to ASSIST. It should always be provided with the genuine intention of helping your colleague succeed and never given just to get frustration off your chest. 2. It must be ACTIONABLE. If your remarks don’t clearly specify what your colleague can do to improve, it is best to keep them to yourself. 3. ASK for feedback before you provide it. This is especially important with cross-gender interactions. Always solicit suggestions about your own work before you offer anyone insights on their work. The only exception is when someone specifically requests for your advice. #Feedback #GivingFeedback #LeadingTeams

When feedback isn't helpful... This is a long read with some excellent information on considering diverse perspectives when giving and receiving feedback across different cultures, gender and ages. Giving feedback and helping someone to improve is essential, but I'm not a fan of the notion of "radical candor". I think that honesty without tact or kindness isn't helpful. When it comes to useful methods, the best takeaway is the "Three As of good feedback". 1) Assist: "feedback must be intended to assist. It should always be provided with the genuine intention of helping your counterpart succeed and never be given just to get frustration off your chest." 2) Actionable. "The second is that it must be actionable. If it’s not crystal clear from your input what your counterpart can do to improve, then keep it to yourself." 3) Ask. "The third A is to ask for feedback before you provide it. This is especially important with cross-gender interactions. Unless someone has specifically requested your advice (in which case jump in and give it), solicit suggestions about your own work before you offer anyone your insights." I'd also add a fourth: Find out if the person wants or needs your feedback first. Particularly if it's unsolicited and you're not in a senior or management position, they simply might not want or need your notes, and that's perfectly fine. I can't think of a word that begins with A to describe this so if you're better inspired than I am, leave a comment 😊 #diversity #feedbackmatters #genderequality #peopleandculture

Today, I want to share an experience that reinforced the importance of empathy and respectful dialogue in the workplace. For most of my career, I have been the silent acceptor of bad behavior and quite honestly it is only in recent years have I felt strength in my voice from other models I've experienced. I'm joining the community of open discussion to encourage dialogue. During a recent meeting, an executive mentioned that two individuals were taking the place of a man. Both individuals he was referring to were women. When I brought this to his attention, his response was, "I didn't actually use the word 'women.'" This moment presented a valuable lesson in how we can choose to respond. It's easy to get defensive or cut the conversation short, but such responses can close off meaningful dialogue and learning opportunities. Instead, here's how I reflected the situation could have been handled better: Acknowledgment: Acknowledging the point while gently reiterating the initial concern. "I understand you didn't use the word 'women,' but since both individuals are women, it might still come across as diminishing their contributions." Empathy: Empathizing with the possible intention. "I know you didn't mean to imply anything negative, and I appreciate that." Constructive Dialogue: Suggest how we can be more mindful. "Perhaps, in the future, we can highlight skills and qualifications instead, ensuring everyone feels equally valued." Openness to Feedback: Invite further discussion. "I'd love to hear your thoughts on this. How do you think we can all work towards more inclusive language?" By responding with empathy and respect, we should keep the conversation open and constructive, fostering a culture of continuous improvement and mutual respect. How would you have handled this situation? #InclusiveWorkplace #RespectfulDialogue #Leadership #Empathy #ProfessionalGrowth

In today's workspace, there's an underlying gender feedback divide that most aren't even aware of. When men and women put in equal effort and showcase the same skills, their reviews often differ. A trend shows that feedback towards women tends to be "gentler" and possibly less genuine. Think about it – if someone hears you underperformed but you're told everything's peachy, how's that setting you up for growth? As the article below puts it, "The feedback women often receive can be misaligned from their actual evaluations, which can be detrimental." Why is this important? Feedback drives growth. Without honest feedback, we won’t know what we need to work on and will not advance further in careers (or running a business.) It’s high time we understand and address this disparity. The article below unveils three steps leaders can adopt to bridge this feedback gap. How do we keep the feedback real and equal for everyone? Share your thoughts below. #genderbias #feedbackculture #womeninleadership

Ever noticed how extroverts seem to be featured more in the spotlight when it comes to showcasing passion at work? According to research by Jon M. Jachimowicz, it turns out that this can subtly disadvantage introverted employees, even if their dedication and excitement match their extroverted counterparts. How can we as leaders challenge these assumptions and create a more inclusive environment? Let's dive in. #PassionAtWork #Introverts #InclusiveLeadership #DigitalMarketing Harvard Business School